The Dream Still Remains In My Heart

Summary: They once beheld something no one could ever touch. They held their love far away from others so it would never leave them. One day it did from their own doing. Somehow she still believes and he has to figure out how to.

Couple: Brooke and Julian

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I own nothing! But if I did I would of had Julian come sooner!

A/N: Hey guys! I usually only write Gossip Girl fics, but this idea came to me and it only fit one couple for me. I love Julian and Brooke so much! Such an amazing couple! I really hope you enjoy this because I really don't know if I will continue it! Tell me what you think! Enjoy and Please Review!

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The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of.

-Blaise Pascal

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Brooke Davis

6:55 p.m

The Wedding

August 3, 2009

Dreams are something we have since we're young. Dreams of getting the latest Barbie doll or the dream of getting sick and not having to go to school. Dreams are simple. Truly believing in them is something of the past. Once you're in your twenties all you see is the dream of molding the person you've become over the years.

I had a dream once. A simple dream really, the dream of becoming a famous fashion designer and every one having a Brooke Davis Original. Okay, so maybe that dream did somehow come true because every one is wearing a Brooke Davis Original now.

You see though, that dream changed a long time ago though. Once I was out of high school I always saw it as my little dream when something else was out there. When something else meant something. It of course did come true, but that wasn't the point anymore. The point was, was that I finally believed enough to fulfill the dream that people once lost hope of for me.

I look in the mirror and you would think I would see the face of accomplishment. You know the face of someone that has had his or her dream come true, but for some reason I can only find the face of disappointment. Why? See that's the mystery.

In high school I was the rebel. Well, not the rebel no that would be my best friend Peyton Sawyer. I guess I was the most untamed girl you could find. I partied every weekend, hooked up with half the population and had an all around fun persona. One day that all changed though.

People usually roll their eyes like I am some kind of walking billboard for entanglement. They think I can't hold out for anything, that I am a flake. Not true. I am a person that if I find something right I hold on for dear life. I jump in with two feet and usually end up with one part of my heart left in the waters.

Back to the beginning right? Try and go back and repeat everything like you can fix it. The truth, you can't fix anything. My hair that was once long and past my shoulders is now short in a bob like cut. Still fashionable, but some people say it's not me. It's me all right.

My eyes the ones people say you have to get lost in to actually know what I am thinking. Bull. I am someone that you can see past. Or at least that's what he used to say. My lips pale and my heart in shambles, still.

"It's almost time." My best friend, Peyton Sawyer comes into tell me.

I nod. "I'll be right out."

She sends me a smile and then I go right back to the mirror.

In a mirror you can see everything reflect. Some don't get the metaphor. They say you see your appearance and that's it. I guess I have looked one too many times, in the mirror. You see, I see my past, my future, and I even see my heart. My heart that is still broken and held with him.

Someone once told me that the one you are meant to be with will always come rushing back to you. He will come like a hurricane and rip the tides to come and rescue you from the prolonging of not being with you. I use to think this person was crazy, but now I wish her saying will somehow come true.

I rest my hands on the dresser. It's almost time. God, I wish I could go back and repeat my life in an instant. I wish I go and do it all over. I wish I could have been the prude in high school, I wish I could have seen him coming. I wish…

I don't let the tears fall because that is weakness and I am not weak. No, I am strong. I will not let this affect me like it has for so many weeks now. All I wanted was for him to say he wanted me back. For him to say it was his fault for letting me go. It was his fault for not caring. But no, all he said was for me to go and be happy.

I hear a knock at my door and I instantly raise my head up to make sure they don't see me in a state I don't like to show people.

"Brooke are you ready?" My other best friend, Haley Scott asks me.

"Yea." I say simply.

She gives me a lasting smile before she leaves me.

People leave and never come back. I remember once Peyton would always say this line about some people coming back. Returning to his or her loved one, but she doesn't know my loved one. She doesn't know the depth I would go to for him to come and be with me. No one understands. No one gets the pain I try and deceive them into thinking I don't have.

I put my veil on and attempt to put the finishing touches on my make up. I sometimes wonder if he sees that I am unhappy? I wonder if he knows I will never love him? I wonder if he even sees or if in some twisted way I am the best actress out there?

I put his picture away in hopes to get him out of my mind. Out of sight out of mind right? Yea, that's what they say, but in truth the one that completes you in never truly out of your mind.

I walk out of the dressing room. My gown is one of my own and I truly think it is beautiful, but the girl that is wearing it is far from perfect. She's lost and uncertain and has no idea why she is going through with this. I sigh to myself in attempt to regain composure.

I hear the music play before the wedding march will start. Haley goes first and she looks beautiful. I see her smile to her husband, Nathan Scott, who is on my soon to be husbands side. I then see Peyton going forwards and she gives her boyfriend, Jake Jagielski a loving smile.

It's time and I know there is no turning back after this point. None whatsoever. I take a deep breath and go in sync with the music. I look at my future, Lucas Scott and for some reason I can't give him the adoring smile he is giving me right now.

It seems to me that the world is moving so slow that I can barely believe I will make it to the alter in time to give away myself to a man I don't even love.

But somehow in that time frame of thinking, I make my way up to him. And he smiles, which I finally return. He takes my hand and mouths to me "You look amazing."

I nod and take my eyes to his eyes. The sparkling blue eyes that are nothing like the brown eyes I love. His blue eyes speak nothing to me; they're just there. They can't look into me like I need them too.

The preacher starts to speak. It's not like I haven't heard these words before because I have so many times. I've heard them spoken to even me before. They are still there, the words I so wish to still ring true. They stay in me like something that can never be taken away.

"Do you Lucas Eugene Scott, take Brooke Penelope Davis to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

I gulp. It's me turn next and I know I look scared, lost, and most importantly vulnerable.

"Do you Brooke Penelope Davis, take Lucas Eugene Scott to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

I wish I could say "I do" right in sync with his.

The thing about dreams is, you never know when yours can come crashing down. You see one dream I still hold. This dream still isn't gone. My dream that I still hold close is that my one absolute, Julian Baker, will rush through the doors and save me like your true love should do.

Silence.