Hey, Hey Providence
I rouse rabble
Disclaimer: The song references made in the title and summary are not mine, nor are the characters and situations owned by whoever has rights to Greek.
Author's notes: Watching the previews for tonight's episode was a little scary; you can't imagine how relieved I was when she realized how creepy Evan was. On to next week! I hope the previews aren't similarly deceptive.
Anyways, about this fic… I suppose it's technically a C/R fic, but the whole thing is tinged with C/C, and the end is pure C/C. As Becca said in the previews, she's always been in their relationship. Also, I've been rewatching the episodes as I write each section of the fic, so I may refer to a specific event without a lot of detail about it. I've tried to avoid that but if I did, please let me know! Also, abc family's website doesn't have, like, six of the episodes I'm looking for, and the rest of my go-to TV on the internet sites are letting me down, so things might get less descriptive in the middle. LAME.
I. You wake up the morning after the Lunch Buffet with a headache that has nothing to do with your hang over and everything to do with Casey. It was bad enough your midterm plan exploded in your face in ways you can't even begin to describe, worse when she had to bail you out at a strip club. A strip club. Naked chicks are awesome, beer is awesome, even those sketchy greasy tacos are awesome, but you can't get over how pathetic you were. You were the drunkest guy in a strip club in the middle of the day on a Wednesday. You passed out on a strip club couch, which has to be up there next to New York City alleyway in terms of filth and foul disease. You're not sure which burns more, Casey having to pay your 275 tab at the club or her seeing you like that, drunk and passed out and pathetic over her. She'd said you were immature and unfocused, and all you had done was prove her right. Wonderful.
You force yourself out of bed and stumble into the shower, turning the water as hot as you can handle. It stings a little but you welcome it, the hot water washing away the remnants of filth and shame from the day before. You step out of the shower, violently rubbing your hair dry. You shove your legs into a pair of jeans and head downstairs for some Advil and breakfast. As you're munching on scrambled eggs with extra hot sauce, you resolve to find a job and pay her back. It's the least you can do, really.
II. You thought it was fate when you saw the sign for the study, but if it was, fate has a fucked up sense of humor. All you want to do is get enough money to pay her back, but now you're stuck in a room for 30 hours with the only girl she truly hates. No sleep, no beer, nothing at all to make it bearable. The idea of spending all that time with her makes you wonder if it's worth the money for a second, but you need the money.
She looks like the typical ZBZ, and so you're stunned when she manages to stop your usual chatter with one sentence. She would have no sense of humor about anything, but you can't say anything because you know she'll make good on her threat to tell everyone your real name. And so you let her win this round and answer her questions.
She ends up not being so bad really. Maybe it's the sleep deprivation, or cabin fever from being locked up in that tiny room, but she almost seems like a human. She even laughs at one of your jokes, a considerable achievement. But she asks about Casey and her Prince Charming and you freeze up, because you're starting to think that Casey really has given up on you. For the first time in your life, you ask to get back to the assigned task.
You've been awake for twenty-nine hours and fifty-seven minutes and you find yourself looking at her differently. Her hair's down and she's tired too and she doesn't look like her prissy stuck up self. She surprises you by seeing a bong in the clouds, and does so even more when she tells you that she used to be the rebellious teenager. She's still kind of a bitch, as evidenced by her assumption that you'd be smelly, but it makes you laugh instead of making you annoyed.
The prick from the Psych department walks back in, and it's like the spell is broken. He gives you your money and you walk out with her, taking a less than gentlemanly glance at her backside as you do so. She's trying to tell you that whatever connection you had is gone now, but you know she doesn't really mean it when she smiles. You give her the money to give back to Casey, because it was all for her that you did this, even if you did meet Rebecca along the way.
III. It's a few days later when you have sex with her. You'd barely talked to her when you'd first arrived at Dobblers that night. You'd been too focused on Rusty to say much of anything to her, but you gave her your most charming grin as you walked by. You were drinking beer with the boys when Rusty mentioned Casey's impending ski trip and your stomach clenched. You're so tired of that feeling, and the sudden sweat and rising bile that comes with it. Your little kiss during midterms a month ago meant nothing to her. She was over it and over you, and it was time for you to be, too.
So you walked over to where Rebecca and Ashleigh were sitting. Ashleigh had made herself scarce pretty quickly, because she'd seen that skip in your step plenty of times freshman year and knew what it meant. You're sitting across the table from Rebecca and you don't know how much time the two of you spend drinking and saying meaningless, empty things. All you know is eventually you're back at the KT house with her and she's unbuttoning your shirt and kicking the door shut with her feet.
The next morning you're up entirely too early trading hangover stories with Spitter. You're about to tell him about you and Rebecca because you feel guilty and telling him is the closest thing to confessing to Casey. Before you can get the words out, though, she's pulling up to you two, looking as pretty as you've ever seen her. She doesn't say why she isn't with Evan, but you know that whatever it is, it can't be good, and your mouth drops open when you realize it. You say goodbye to Rusty, your confession forgotten, and the two of them drive away, the song from her radio still echoing in your ears.
IV. Over winter break, you and Rebecca were more or less alone in your houses. Your parents were living in a commune in a California desert somewhere. The pot was good there, but it wasn't worth four weeks with twenty-five aging hippies who weren't familiar with the concept of showering. You weren't sure why Rebecca was staying; if you had her perks you'd sure as hell leave CRU for some swanky mansion. You didn't really care though because for two weeks you had a solid f…un buddy. Sometime halfway through break, though, you started to care about her more than you thought you would, and more than she admits to care about you. That's why, when everyone else is moving in, you're trying hard to keep her in your bed. She slides out, though, and even though you knew it was coming, you're let down when she tells you it's over. It wasn't just that she was hot; you'd been with your share of hot chicks, and only one other one kept you coming back like that. You like her. She was different around you than she was around everyone else, and you like that you're the only one that sees that side of her, the one that isn't an ice princess or a power-mad bitch. When she's with you, she laughs easy and she makes you laugh, too, and she's so pretty when she does it. Most people don't see that.
She walks out the door and you pretend to be okay with it and get back to business.
Unfortunately, that includes a meeting with the rest of the Greeks to discuss the new restrictions. For the first time, you're not obsessively waiting for Casey to walk in. In fact you don't even noticed her until she sits across from you. You know it stings for her to be back there with you and the rest of the houses that don't matter, and that's the part of Casey you don't like as much. But she smiles at you, a fake smile, but she still looks beautiful. You're not quite sure how to answer, though, when she asks how your break was. You never lie to her, but you're pretty sure that the real answer ("I spent most of it naked in bed with your arch rival") isn't what she wants to hear. You see her look down when Evan walks in the room and you know that she's still hurt over their breakup, and that it probably wasn't mutual. You know how that goes. When Casey's shot down by the TriPi president, you see her eyes flick to Evan, who's silent. You want to say something yourself but you know that no one really cares what the back of the table has to say. You're saved from whole matter when Evan finally steps up and agrees with her, and you know she analyzes his support way more than she should.
You're trying hard to pretend none of this bullshit with Rebecca and Casey bothers you, like you always do (something she noted in that stupid study), but Rusty makes it hard when he asks you if you saw Rebecca over break, and he makes it harder when he suggests trying again with Casey. You saw the look in her eyes at the meeting though, and you know that no matter what bull Casey fed her brother, she's not over Evan. And you're through being that guy. Avoiding that scenario becomes a whole lot easier when you meet Rebecca in the library and realize she's not through with you just yet, and from the looks of it, won't be for some time.
That's why, when Wade tells you that your girlfriend is in trouble, your first instinct is to look towards Rebecca, who's perfectly fine. But when you see Casey giving up, you know you have to do something, because all Casey cares about is being ZBZ president. Even though you want to help Casey out, you make sure that you're lined up with Rebecca when the KT boys head over to the booth. Unfortunately, you didn't account on Beaver knocking you out of the way in his haste to get to Rebecca and you end up facing Casey. She looks almost scared as you walk up to her, smiling at the irony. She brushes off her nervousness and seems willing to kiss you, almost to prove that she can without letting it go to far. But the minute your lips touch each other, everything comes rushing back and the kiss is far longer than it should be. As soon you part, all you see is the whirl of Rebecca's hair as she turns and walks away from you. She won't stop when you out to her so you text her instead, well aware of how lame it is. She says that she's not mad and she says that it's just a fling and you know she's lying. You tell her you and Casey are over, because you're sure it's finally true – you heard her try to explain the kiss to Evan as you ran away. Rebecca stares at you, sizing you up, before a small smile graces her face. You don't kiss her right away. You stare at her for a second, not thinking about Casey and Evan or anyone else, other than the girl in front of you. It's almost strange.
V. You and Rebecca are still together, but outside of the KT boys that saw her sneaking in or out of your room, no one knows about it. You know that having Rebecca Logan as a "secret sex spy" is every guy's wildest dream, but you can't help but want something more. Still, you'll take it if it means you guys stay together, which it why it burns when she doesn't believe you when you say that it doesn't matter what Casey or the rest of CRU thinks about your relationship.
You walk back to the KT house from your latest rendezvous in Rebecca's car. By the time you get there, your legs are burning and all you can think about is sitting down in your bed for a few hours. You stop short, just for a second though when Casey walks in. You can tell she takes note of your pained expression and sweaty hair, but you brush it off. She starts out by thanking you for the carnival and apologizing and you're more than a little surprised. She dashes any hopes that may have been rising in your chest when she cops to still having feelings for Evan, even after being humiliated at the carnival. You've been there. Hell, you lived there until a month ago. But she tells you that she wants to start over and you can't stop the hopeful smile from crossing your face, until she finishes her statement and tells you that it's time to just be friends. You agree to the party and lie about why your shirt's inside out and backwards.
While you're at the party, the two of you work together to keep everything going smoothly but don't spend a whole lot of time together. You run into her by the drinks and try to keep calm when she pulls a flask from her stocking. It's like cold water being doused over you, though, when she toasts to your friendship. She looks around almost awkwardly as she downs a considerable amount of whatever she has inside it and you stare at her for a second, sizing her up. She avoids your stare and you know she's not ready for you yet.
Later, you go upstairs and find Rebecca and ask her out, because having a secret sex buddy isn't enough right now.
VI. Rebecca's sitting on your bed after a house meeting, finally saying yes to dating you. You ignore the fact that she's agreeing to it just so Casey will get back to hating her and focus on the fact that you're finally, actually dating a girl that isn't Casey Cartwright. Still, you owe it to Case to let her know first, even if it makes Rebecca mad. Casey's fake-thrilled when you tell her and you hate seeing the look on her face and hearing the weird, high pitch her voice gets as she tells you she's heading home to watch "To Catch a Predator." You don't like being the guy that's hurting her, and you ask her again if she's okay with this. If she told you the truth, that she really wasn't, you'd drop Rebecca like that because it'd mean that Casey was on her way. But she tells you it's fine and walks away before you can say anything else.
At the Double Date Dash, Casey's still pretending things are fine and you pretend along with her. You watch as Rebecca tries her best to get under Casey's skin and Casey drinks herself into a stupor, pretending it doesn't matter. You pretend that Casey's animal loving date doesn't make you want to throw up and that you don't try to get under his skin the same way Rebecca tries to get under Casey's.
The next night, you take Beaver out and tell him about Rebecca, because you owe him just like you owe Casey, who, incidentally, walks up just as Beaver walks away. As soon as she gets there, she again apologizes for not being a very good friend lately. You're really starting to hate that word. She refuses to admit the real reason why seeing you with Rebecca bothers you so, and you're getting tired of it. You do like Rebecca, and it pisses you off that Casey can't take you back but can't let you go. You're finally moving on, and you won't jeopardize whatever you might have with Rebecca if Casey won't tell you what she's really feeling. And so you walk away.
VII. When you get the e-mail that the Greek Ball is back on this year, you groan in frustration. After all the restrictions and the cut down social events, the administration allows the one Greek party you have no desire to go to. Fortunately, the rest of the brother's and pledges are of the same mind and you all decide that the Kappa Taus will not attend. You're glad Rebecca's okay with this, because there's no way in hell you're going to that dance. The only exception to the no-dance crowd is Rusty, who somehow always manages to be the odd one out and keeps asking questions about the last Ball.
When you refuse to answer them, he does the research himself and you give up and tell him the whole story. You tell him how you didn't even want to rush, but you met Casey at the KT rush party and you fell for both that same night. And for a while, things were perfect. You had it all- the house and its Brothers, the girl. It was everything you needed, so good that it didn't matter that Evan was an Omega Chi and the two of you barely talked anymore. But you couldn't maintain the balancing act, and you spent more time drinking with the boys than hanging out with Casey. Looking back, you almost can't blame her for leaving the bar with Evan the night you spent three hours singing on stage, or heading to the Ball with Evan when you were drinking and playing video games with Egyptian Joe. It didn't make Chambers any less of prat for taking her, though.
You don't want to make the same mistakes twice, lose Rebecca like you lost Casey, and so you don a fancy black suit and head over to the ZBZ house. You see Casey there, looking stunning in a red dress, and for a minute, it's like freshman year again. But then Rebecca walks down the stairs and you're back in the present. Rebecca heads upstairs to change and you don't see Casey again until the dance.
She's grabbing the last glass of champagne, but another hand, Evan's, reaches for it at the same time. They stare at each other for a long moment, and you wonder what they're thinking. You can't help but fear that they're feeling as nostalgic as you are, now that they're at the same place their relationship really began. But he lets her have the glass and walks away, and as she drinks it, you feel her eyes on you. You look back at her, wondering if she's annoyed that you're doing something for Rebecca that you never did for her, but before you can excuse yourself to talk to her, Rebecca looks up at you and you remember. You don't let yourself look at Casey for the rest of the night.
VIII. Freshman Parents' Weekend is your least favorite part of the school year. No matter how big and bad each pledge class thinks it is, there's always a mad scramble to clean everything up the day of the barbecue. Your parents never really cared either way about your involvement in the Greek scene and never bothered coming up for the weekend, so you never felt the panic that everyone else goes through. You understand why everyone else is freaking out, but you hate how fake the whole thing is. The older you get, the more of a joke it becomes. You, Wade, and Beaver already have a contest over who can tell the most ridiculous lies and get away with it.
But on the other hand, you're a little bit excited and a lot of bit nervous for this parents' weekend. Meeting your girlfriend's father is big; meeting your girlfriend's father, the Senator, is huge. Still, you're disappointed when Rebecca cuts off your ramblings on Senator Logan's feelings on cigars by telling you that you're not going to meet him this weekend.
That's why you find yourself in the mostly empty Dobblers when it's still light out. You aren't expecting to see anyone you know there this time of day, but Casey walks in. She surprises you when she tells you to take it easy on Rebecca. Just last week, she'd been telling you that dating her was a huge mistake. You don't really understand this sudden change but you like it. Even if you're with Rebecca, you still care about Casey and you want the two to at least be civil to one another.
You're surprised when Rebecca texts you that she and her father would be at the KT barbecue, and for the first time, you're glad the pledges are still momma's boys who are afraid to let their parents know what they're really up to. The house is the cleanest its been since your organization binge after midterms. It's as presentable as it'll ever be, and you hope it will be good enough for the Senator. But when he gets there, Rebecca goes out of her way to point out all of your flaws, and you bristle when you realize she's using you as another tool to piss of Daddy. She'd told you she was tired of that act the night you first met, but apparently she was using you now the same way she used to use weed. You storm off, wondering if your whole relationship had been building up to this moment.
The next morning she shows up bright and early with your favorite breakfast, and you're touched by the gesture. You don't want to hear any explanations or excuses, but you have to admit that finding out Rebecca's dad is cheating on her mom is a bit of an extenuating circumstance. So instead of letting her use in their little game, you pull her out of it. As you pick her up over your shoulder on the ZBZ lawn, you can tell by her laughter that she's in it for you and that's all you need.
IX. The restrictions are finally over, and you couldn't be more thrilled. Even though you owe a lot to Evan for helping you out in the meeting, you still can't stop yourself from hating him. So when you see him picking liquor up for a party with six frats and sororities that don't include you, you have to throw together a party for the same night. Not having any money turns out to be a blessing, because the only thing sweeter than a great party is a great party with liquor the Omega Chi house paid for. You're disappointed Rebecca can't come, though, and you pull Casey in a corner to talk about it.
You're pissed but not surprised that none of the ZBZ girls are at the KT party. ZBZ doesn't really mix with KTs unless it's to their advantage, and you knew that going in. They'll show up at the KT house soon enough, when the liquor's gone and they realize that without booze, they're in a room with a bunch of mannequins cut straight from the J. Crew spring catalogue. You are annoyed, however, that Rebecca just happens to be sober sister tonight, the very first night the Greek scene is back in business. Casey dodges your accusation, though, by reminding you why you're really here and you disappear down the hall before you do something you'll regret, like kissing her. Because even though you were annoyed at her, you were closer to her than you'd been in a while and you couldn't stop those feelings from rushing back.
Rebecca's at the house when you get back, and you're surprised and pleased. You don't know why she's there; maybe Casey let her off Sober Sister duties after your little chat. You know that it's way more likely that she decided to screw Casey and head to the KT house anyway. Either way, you don't care too much. In general, you don't really like the concept of Sober Sisters because it means one girl gets screwed out of a good time, and you like it even less when it's your girlfriend on the night of the biggest party of the semester.
You're even more surprised when you see Casey and Rebecca arguing in the middle of the living room, and a little disappointed when Casey mentions a guy back at the Omega Chi party. When she turns to you, demanding that you tell Rebecca that pledges have to do what Sisters say, you're glad you can quote her earlier words to leave you out of the feud. Otherwise, you'd be forced to admit that Casey's right. Even though it's a shitty thing to have Rebecca sit out of the party, she's still a pledge. You can tell Casey she's wrong but in the end, it's not exactly Rebecca's place to do so. You'd made Spitter wear dresses in public twice, and Casey could tell you that it was wrong, but he still had to do it.
So you don't really know what to say when Rebecca's mad at you for not backing her up more against Casey. Throughout your relationship, you'd avoided picking sides between the two of them, which you knew was a little strange. Most guys, when faced with the choice of agreeing with their current girl or siding with an ex, pick the current girl every time. She's the one you were dating; an ex was just the bitch who isn't with you anymore. But Casey is different, or maybe you're different, because you've never been able to choose between the two. So you really don't know what to say when Rebecca asks you whom you'd save first if the two of them were drowning. You deflect the question again, and distract her by talking about the party instead. The question's still ringing in your ears and you try to distract yourself, too. Fortunately, Beaver makes this a whole lot easier by announcing that Rusty has crabs. That'll do it.
X. You're not sure what time it is, but you know it's early. A soft grey light filters into your room through the windows. You look over to your left. Rebecca's still asleep, the sheets bundled all around her. You're fine with that. It's hot in the room, entirely too hot for March, and the ceiling fan isn't the most effective cooling mechanism. You listen to the soft whir of the fan and try to organize your thoughts.
You know that you'd never have gotten together with Rebecca if it weren't for Casey. You met her while trying to scrape together the cash to pay Casey back, and you got together with her when you realized that you and Casey were basically hopeless. Somewhere along the way you started to really care about Rebecca, though. In some ways she was the opposite of Casey, which was maybe what you needed. She doesn't get bogged down with sorority nonsense, the way Casey did, and she doesn't care that the KTs have a shitty reputation on Greek row, and she isn't concerned with planning out every detail of her life. Dating Rebecca is easy compared to dating Casey. And you always did like to take it easy.
But you think sometimes that relationships aren't supposed to be that easy. Things are always easier when you don't care as much.
Sometimes you think you fell for Rebecca because you thought you could and it'd be safer to love someone who isn't Casey. She has trouble saying it, but you know that she cares about you. You know where you stand with her. You know that she likes you. You don't know any of those things about Casey. You know that she's finally over Evan. You know that she's done with her little crush on Ryan Prince. But you don't know if she's done with you.
Does it matter though? At the end of the day, it falls down to a few questions.
If you could only save one, who would it be? Casey.
Why? Because you love her.
You don't love Rebecca? You thought you could. But you can't. There's a big obstacle that you'll never get past, and it's Casey.
And that's all you need to know.