DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL! NOT EVEN THE ROCK I LIVE UNDER. Okay, serious times now. I am claiming no ownership for anything but this particular work itself. I'm making no money off of this, just hopefully a few good reviews. Words are currently happening in a disclaimer that likely no one is ever going to read. If I continue doing this, it will look longer and more official. Characters belong to Homestuck available at .com. Right? Okay! On to the -
WARNING: THIS CONTAINS IDEALOGICALLY SENSITIVE MATERIAL. ie - Peeps are gay who I know likely weren't intended to be. Possibly also leading to a weight-gain scenario to appease a good friend of mine. Also, this whole little series is going to be taking place in a slightly AU setting because I wrote Chapter one before I had caught up in the Webcomic itself.
The day came when the SBURB beta was long since over with, the actual game having been put out of production due to the less than astounding reviews that came from the beta. Some time passed the world by, and now on John Egbert's fifteenth birthday, he found out from his father, overtop piles of cake, that they were going to be moving to the city. A particular city actually, and purely by coincidence.
John rushed upstairs to log onto his Pesterchum account.
EctoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead (4:43pm)
EB- Hey! Hey! Guess what!
TG - oh hey egbert
TG - what kind of insane loot you rake in THIS time
EB - Huh? Oh yeah! I got another poster and a new game and guess what I found out!
TG - alright there mr psychotic about the guess what
TG - what is it
EB - I'm gonna be moving soon!
TG - oh thats cool
TG - where to
EB - Guueeeessssss!
TG - i dunno man
TG - friggin istanbul
EB - ha ha ha nooo! I'm moving to the same city you live in!
TG - no shit really
TG - that is pretty cool actually
EB - I know, right? okay, dad just called me for dinner. ttyl!
EctoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead (4:56pm)
John spent the rest of his birthday in an absolutely amazing mood. His dad made his favorite dinner, and had another couple presents hidden for John in his room. He also didn't make John eat any more cake than what he wanted to eat this time.
John spent his evening starting to pack up all his things, pausing every once in awhile when someone pestered him.
tentacleTherapist started pestering ectoBiologist (7:36pm)
TT- Happy birthday, John!
EB- Rose! Hi! Guess what!
TT - What?
EB - Noooo you're supposed to guess!
TT - You shaved off all your hair and joined the circus freak show as 'the amazing cueball'?
EB - Ha ha ha! No! Guess again!
TT - You know John, these guessing games of yours make me wonder if you have some attention issues.
EB - Okay fine I'll tell you! I'm moving!
TT - Be still my beating heart.
TT - Oh. You're serious? Where are you moving to, John?
EB - Same city where Dave is!
TT - Oh, he'll be thrilled to find that out.
EB - I already told him! He was online earlier!
TT - I'm going to pretend I don't feel out of the loop. You do realize you haven't used any punctuation in this conversation aside from exclamation points, right?
EB - Ha ha! You're funny Rose! G2G! ttyl!
EctoBiologist ceased pestering tentacleTherapist (7:41pm)
John was absolutely giddy. He didn't know why the idea of being so close to one of the friends he'd gone through that whole SBURB fiasco with two years ago was such a remarkable thought to him. And having thought about it for awhile, he wondered for a moment, during one of his bouts of standing in one spot and zoning out, whether it was because it was one of his friends, or if it was for some other reason he didn't know just yet. Maybe he'd ask Jade about it sometime.
Dave sat back from his computer after John logged off, his eyebrows lifted slightly. He never got the chance to ask if he knew WHERE in the city he was moving to. Oh well. At least it wasn't a two day ride by taxicab anymore... unless he was unlucky enough to get that one glorified garden gnome they had driving one of them...
He got up from his desk and ran a hand through his hair. He'd been on that thing waiting for John to log on for way too long. He was hungry. And he was bored. He started for the kitchen, but stopped at his bedroom door. Right. Bro didn't keep food in the kitchen, did he? Food in the kitchen wasn't ironic at all.
He turned and headed for the snack stash he kept in his closet. Maybe he'd splurge on himself and get some Chinese later. For now though, he was feeling the apple juice. He sipped at his juice, looking at the stuff he had stashed away. Crackers, some canned stuff, peanut butter, and up on his shelf he had bread in case he wanted a sandwich. "Man, what I wouldn't give for a piece of damn cake once in awhile..."
Well, at least now he had one of the buddies he'd saved the world with moving nearby. Gave him something to be pleased about. Well that and his turntables. He headed that way to amuse himself by getting more awesome than his brother.
"Yo Dave!"
"'Sup, bro?"
"I got a gig, clean the kitchen while I'm gone."
Damn it.
Dave sighed, giving a longing glance at his turntables, then turning and heading out to do his brother's bidding as he heard the apartment door slam. He couldn't complain. Bro was working, kept a roof over him and all that while he was still in school. The least he could do was some glorified housewife chores.
Rose sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. Well, if John was moving into town with Dave, they'd probably both be busy all the time. So much for hoping for a long-distance relationship with John... well, maybe she still could.
gardenGnostic started pestering tentacleTherapist (7:45pm)
GG - Heeey! Did John tell you his good news yet?
TT - Oh hello there, Jade. He told you he was moving too, hm?
GG - Nope! ;)
TT - Ah. Glad to see your psychic qualities have not diminished.
GG - Hehe! Maybe John'll get cooler hanging out with Dave all the time. What do you think?
TT - Are you sure you have time to hear what I think?
TT - Jade?
TT - Did you fall asleep again?
TT - You should really see someone and see if you can get a prescription or something.
The day finally came that John was helping his dad pack everything up so they could be on their way to their new home in the big city. Almost two days of driving, and with nothing he saw packed up to eat except cupcakes and cookies. Curse you dad, and your baking prowess. He couldn't wait until he was in a place where if he was hungry for real food, he could walk down the road and get a burger instead of settling for pastries again.
He was just glad he'd managed to talk his dad into leaving all those horrible clo- er ah.. harlequins at the old house. Well, the time had come to get moving. Bye house! Bye creepy old clowns! John sat in the car, his dad driving with a trailer attached to the backend of it. He wouldn't miss this house and the monstrous memories it entailed at all. No way that could happen. He looked out the car window curiously. He wondered if he'd ever see Nannasprite again. He hadn't since the SBURB deal had happened two years ago. Even if she could come back, would she even know where to look for them now? John sighed and faced forward again as his dad pulled out of the driveway. Well, there was no going back now anyway.
Dave sat down at his computer. John hadn't been online much at all in over a week. He still didn't know where he was moving to, or even when he was supposed to be there. Oh well. He figured he'd just have to play the cards where they fell. His head tilted to one side. Well, Jade was online. Maybe she'd know something.
turntechGodhead started pestering GardenGnostic (4:45pm)
TG - hey
GG - omg hi Dave!
TG - sup
GG - nm sup with you, cool guy? hehe!
TG - same as usual
TG - shit be realer than real
TG - wicked ass shit you couldn't imagine
TG - mixin it up from hot to chill
TG - takin my peeps and makin a legion
TG - naw man
TG - I was hoping Egbert had told you when he was supposed to be in town
GG - Ooh that was so cooool Dave! No, he didn't.
GG - He should be there tomorrow morning though. ^-^
TG - still dont know how you do that shit but im glad you can
GG - hehe
TG - guess ill go get things together in case he wants to come chill
TG - later
GG - later, coolio~
turntechGodhead ceased pestering GardenGnostic (5:01pm)
Dave stretched his arms and got up to go clean his place, a new desire to avoid his bro developing within him. Well, he was at a gig again anyway. Really. He couldn't figure out why so many people wanted rapping puppets for their events. Must be the humorous irony in it. He started gathering up dirty laundry. Main part of cleaning this place... He figured he'd go do that first.
John awoke to his dad prodding him in the driveway of their new home. "Is this it? Wow, dad! This looks great!" He got out of the car and headed for the house's door, until his dad called him back and loaded him up with things to carry in.
"Meh." He dropped the pile of boxes his dad had laden him with inside the door, then looked around. "Wow. It looks exactly the same as our old house. Before all the additions..." He skittered along up the stairs to take a look at his room. It was completely empty, and it didn't have all the stubborn crayon drawings all over the walls, but it looked the same.
He sighed again as he heard his dad calling him, heading back down to help his dad lug things inside. He wondered why they didn't just hire some movers for this. Oh well.
Later on that day, once the furniture had been set up, and all their things were inside, still not unpacked, but inside, John dug out his laptop and plugged it in. "Sweet, I've got a signal!" He logged onto his Pesterchum account.
ectoBiologist started pestering turntechGodhead (12:32pm)
EB - Hey, I'm all moved!
TG - hey great
TG - ive been meaning to ask you what road youre moving to
EB - Uh. I don't know, let me go look.
EB - looks like Maple street.
TG - hn
TG - nice part of town
TG - want to come over and chill
TG - its only a few blocks down
EB - That sounds great!
TG - wicked bananas
TG - just go head toward the bk on your street ill meet you there
EB - Okay!
turntechGodhead ceased pestering ectoBiologist (12:40pm)
John grinned and hopped up, writing a quick note for his dad and taping it to the fridge before scampering out the door and looking up and down. He saw a Burger King sign and headed that way. He couldn't wait to see Dave in person!
Dave logged out of Pesterchum and stood up. First thing was first. He went into the bathroom to check himself out. If he was meeting his old chum, he wanted to look good. He paused, smirking at the mirror. "Not like I ever don't look good."
He headed out and down to go meet John and maybe get himself a burger and a shake while he was there.
Somewhere around ten minutes later, Dave pushed open the Burger King door and looked around. There were a few people there. A lady with a small child, an old couple... and a derp. That... had to be him. He walked over to the derp with his hands in his pockets. "Egbert?"
"Huh? Yeah! Dave?" The derp grinned as he put down his burger and stood up. "It's so great to finally meet you in person!"
"Yeah. Real great. Hey." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "I'mma go grab something and we'll chill before headin over to my place."
"Okay, that sounds great! Oh, and Dave? You're definitely as cool as you think you are~" He gave Dave a goofy smile and sat back down to continue devouring his sandwich.
Dave felt a smirk creeping onto his face. By the way he talked, John had to be as starved for real food as Dave was for desserts. He went to the counter and ordered, returning a moment later with two sandwiches, a chocolate milkshake, and an apple pie. He sat across from John and flipped one of the burgers onto John's tray. "Enjoy, man." He started in on his milkshake, his eyes closing under his sunglasses as he reveled in the reverie of sugar.
John blinked at it, then smiled at Dave. "Aww, you didn't have to do that." He picked it up and started in on it anyway. He couldn't lie. It was delicious. He craved meat. Or processed meat by-product at least.
Dave set down his half-empty milkshake and decided he'd save it for when he was thirsty. He went about eating his own food. "So when'd you get into town?"
"Just this morning. Dad's off returning the trailer."
"Score one more for the GardenGnostic." Dave tilted his head as he looked John over. He was definitely pretty derpy, but he was cute somehow. Shorter than he'd expected, and that overbite and square-rimmed glasses? Not to mention he was wearing a slime shirt. Yeah. Okay. So his chum was a nerd.
"I'm so glad you didn't have anything to do today, it's so great hanging out with you!"
"Yeah." Dave gave a half-grin as he finished off his food. "Let's go to my place. We'll hang at yours once you're unpacked." He got up and dumped his trash, heading to the counter to get himself a drink for the road.
The guy at the counter took his order, took his money, and then got distracted.
"Yo. Move it, soda-jerk."
"Excuse me? What do you think this is?"
"What do I think it is? I think this is an establishment where I have given you money to provide me service. And since you work in a place that employs the barely employable, I'm pretty sure you're willing to do just about anything for a couple greenbacks. And since I'm doin' something with my life you'll never accomplish, finishin' school, and I'm gonna end up ownin' your faggot ass in the not too distant future, you got two options. Climb over this counter, get on your knees and start servicing my trouser chihuahua for a couple extra bucks, or you can turn your ass around and get me my fuckin' cola."
The soda-jerk had his eyebrows raised and eyes wide throughout that shpeal, and now that it was over, he turned around and immediately got Dave his soda.
Dave took it and took a victory sip from it before heading for the door, looking at John and gesturing with his head for him to follow.
John was blushing a little at his friend's outburst. He'd seen it coming, but where he came from, that sort of talk was a taboo. He gave a doofy smile and followed along after him, nonetheless. As they walked along, John looked at Dave with a coy little smile. "So Strider~ how many girlfriends does a cool guy like you have?"
Dave cocked an eyebrow. "Girlfriends? Sorry to burst your little bubble there, assumption-maker, but I don't have a girlfriend right now."
"I'm sure Jade would love to be your girlfriend. She's got it real bad for you~"
"Yeah I know. Still don't want a girlfriend."
"Oh. Well, okay."
Dave sighed lightly, looking back at John. Why the hell did this dorky kid have to be so damn adorable to him? Maybe he could... no... no that would drop his cool factor way too dramatically.
"Why don't you want a girlfriend, Dave?"
"Haven't found one that excites me yet."
"Well, what excites you?"
Well there it was. The perfect setup to spill the beans. Should he? He'd gotten so many random vibes anyway. Even if something came of it, who would believe the new kid over him? Dave Friggin Strider. He was the one everyone wanted or wanted to be like. They'd believe him if he told them the sky was purple and made of lemon meringue. "...You first." It wasn't worth the risk.
"Me? Well I don't know, really. I like people that are attractive and nice to me. I don't really ask for much. I couldn't have my pick of the litter like you can."
Damn you cheeks! Stop blushing! You've gotten compliments before. This is no different just because it's... "Egbert."
"Yeah?"
"...We're here." Dave led John to the main door of his apartment building, and on inside toward the stairs. The elevator had a big 'out of order' sign that looked like it had been there for decades.
"Ssssstaaaaiiiirs!" John put on a sour expression. "Haven't I told you about stairs?"
"There's not much choice, Egbert."
John gave an exasperated sigh. "Fine." He followed Dave up the stairs, one hand gripping the back of Dave's shirt. If he was going, he was taking Dave with him.
Dave gulped lightly at the hand that was on his back. Goddamn kickstand, stay down.
John stayed close to Dave. "So you never answered me, Dave."
Dave led him from the stairwell on his floor and toward his own apartment. "Don't remember you bein' so impatient on Pesterchum."
"Yeah well, I've got other people to talk to on that."
Dave fished for his keys and led him into his apartment, giving a quick scan to see if his bro was there. It looked safe. "Well... I like derpy nerds with glasses and overbites."
"Sounds just like Jade!"
"...What, do I have to fuckin spell it out for ya?"
"Spell what out for me, Dave?"
"...Nothing. Forget it. Nevermind." He moved through the kitchen/arsenal toward the living room.
John blinked in confusion, then went after him. "Dave, come on, tell me! You know I miss things sometimes."
"Yeah. You do. Just forget it."
"But Daaaaave-"
Dave grumbled and turned to face John with his arms crossed. "You want to know? Fine. I'm gay."
John blinked, surprised by that. "Oh come on Dave, be serious."
"I am." John was looking up at Dave, completely confused by this turn of events. "So... wait... if you're gay... then... who were you describing... b... before...?" His eyes widened a little as realization hit him. "...Y... you meant...?"
Dave stuck his hands in his pockets. "I'm going to go take a shower. Hang in my room if you want." He headed for his room to get clothes to change into and a towel from his closet/pantry.
John hesitated, but followed along after him, going to sit on Dave's bed.
Dave crossed the hall into the bathroom and pulled off his shirt before turning on the water in the shower, then hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his pants, just about to pull them down.
John leaned forward a little to look over at him. "Dave, aren't you going to close the..." My God, that guy is built...
"What's that, Egbert?"
"Nothing, nevermind."
Dave cocked his head, but shrugged and disrobed his nether regions, tossing his clothes on the sink before getting into the shower and closing the curtain.
John was still staring at where Dave had disappeared, his mouth slightly ajar. He didn't know until just that moment that maybe yes, he was attracted to guys. Or maybe it was just Dave. Who knew? Who cared? Dave wasn't just cool, he was hot, too!
He lay back on Dave's bed, looking around the room. Dave had a lot of pretty awesome stuff. He was really nice, too... and... well... really good looking... Maybe... maybe he could give it a try?
Dave stood in the cool water of his shower, leaning forward to press his forehead against the tile wall. Strider, you are a moron. Why'd you have to tell him that? Go ahead and ruin your already weird friendship for some shit you still haven't had the kahones to even mention to anyone else. Did you honestly think your online chat agent buddy was going to come be swept off his feet by you? Not everyone's a fucking queer like you, so get the hell over it. Wash your fucking hair, wash your fucking armpits and go be hospitable. He lifted his head with a soft sigh and went about his showering process.
John felt a soft blush rising in his cheeks as he pictured what he'd seen mere moments ago. Dave had a really cute butt~
Dave got out of the shower a few minutes later, burying his face in his towel.
John sat up again to watch him. He wondered idly if he'd left the bathroom door open for this reason, or if he really just never closed it. Dave sighed lightly, moving to dry the rest of his body, then toweling his hair. John still couldn't look away. It was like this guy had some mythical blood that made him irresistible.
John giggled when Dave pulled the towel from his hair. It made it floof out. Dave fixed it right away with his comb though. He pulled on his boxers and his pants, grabbed his dirty clothes and crossed the hall back into his room where John was waiting.
"Hey Dave."
"Hnh?"
"You look cute with fluffy hair."
Dave turned to look at him. There he was, sitting on his bed and being all cute.. smiling at him and everything... "Mm... You... think so, huh?"
"Yeah. You're... pretty attractive, Dave."
Dave put his dirty clothes where they belonged, then headed toward his friend, moving over him on the bed, and lowering his voice to a whisper. "Don't freak out, John." He moved in to kiss his lips softly.
John had been edging backward as Dave advanced. "D-dave? Wh-what are... you..." He trailed off when Dave spoke, blushing and finding himself purring as he was kissed, easily returning it. "Oh Dave."
Dave drew back slightly when the other broke the kiss. "I'd like to try this."
John's blush darkened and he slid his arms around him as he nodded lightly. "O-okay, Dave."