Dark Secret

Chapter 1

Horatio woke one morning of the 19th week and felt Zoë wrapped around him as tightly as she could be without waking him. He turned his head to her and saw that she was wide awake, he knew she'd been crying at some point as he could see it in her eyes. He blinked a few times and softened his tired eyes to look into hers.

"Morning beautiful" Horatio said softly and she gave him a small smile as she blinked a few times. She could feel the tears gathering in her eyes again as she looked into his eyes so closed her eyes briefly to try and gain some control.

"Morning handsome" she replied quietly as she moved closer to him and looked back into his serene, welcoming eyes. She wrapped both of her arms around him and hugged him as closely as she could. He saw her eyes welling and then tried to quickly comfort her by lightly rubbing her back and nuzzling her nose. "We lost her today… at this point in the pregnancy." Zoë cried as she slowly sat up and let go of him. She shook her head as she placed her hands against her face and bit her lip while she continued to sob. Horatio sat up with her and moved to sit behind her as he wrapped his arms around her and placed his chin on her shoulder. His inner thighs touched her hips and outer thighs as he placed both of his hands on her belly. She continued to have her head bowed forwards though while her hands covered her face. Horatio lightly kissed her shoulder as he lovingly rubbed her belly with extreme delicacy.

"You're safe, I've got you. I'm not leaving you at all. I promise you Zoë." Horatio said quietly as he removed one hand from her stomach and began to play with her hair lightly. He placed his mouth and nose against her shoulder and nuzzled her fondly. She swallowed when she felt his gentle, warm breath move over her shoulder which caused the hairs on the back of her neck to rise. "You're all safe, I promise," Horatio said softly but with confidence and determination. She lightly nodded and tried to calm herself down as she removed a hand from her face and placed it on her knee while she wiped the tears with her other hand and leant back against Horatio, using him as support.

"Please don't leave me Horatio." She begged as she looked down at the cream coloured sheet between her legs.

"I'm not going to leave you sweetheart." Horatio said softly as he removed his hand from her hair again and placed it back over her belly.

"I don't want to go out and I don't want to see anyone today. Can we just stay in, please?" She asked as she tried wiping the falling tears but they were still flowing too quickly for her to catch them all.

"Yes beautiful, we're staying in all day, just us." Horatio said softly and then felt her take a deep breath as she nodded. She then moaned as she sat up straight and began to rub her left leg with both hands. "Cramp?" Horatio asked and she nodded as she continued to sob, her tears fell to her thighs and sheet while she tried to soothe her painful leg. Horatio moved from behind her and gently laid her back down and stretched her leg for her. Horatio remained silent for a moment while he concentrated on easing the cramp while Zoë's sobs quietened down as well.

"Better?" He asked and she nodded as she pressed her lips together and swallowed.

"I hate leg cramps." She mumbled as she wiped the last of her tears away.

"I know sweetheart." Horatio said softly as he rubbed both of her legs affectionately.

"I'm sorry Horatio; you don't want to be waking up to your wife crying." She said as she placed her hands over her belly and furrowed her brow at him while he moved away from her legs and sat up nearer her head while he placed one hand over her belly too.

"Don't apologise sweetheart." He said as he rubbed her cheek with the pad of his thumb as she looked up at him with tired, red and worried eyes.

"What if the same thing happens, Horatio?" She questioned before she burst into tears again and covered her face. Horatio stopped rubbing her cheek and then lightly ran his hand through her hair.

"It won't sweetheart, I promise you, both back and front doors are double locked, they'll triple lock if Skyler suspects a threat, not even SWAT can get through them." Horatio said softly and she nodded as she swallowed. She began to rub her lower stomach as she could feel it aching while she calmed herself down again. "Shall we go and get something to eat and then you can have a warm bath?" He asked softly and she nodded. He took her hands and helped her up slowly. She sat on the bed and quickly wiped her eyes once before she let go of one of Horatio's hands and placed her hand on her lower back to begin to rub lightly.

"My back is really starting to hurt, when we go to the shop next, can we get some deep heat?" She asked quietly and he nodded as he ran his thumb over the back of her hand.

"Try and take long deep breaths sweetheart." Horatio said softly as she became breathless again.

"You experience a baby kicking your lung." She said softly with a small smile and then watched the smile appear across Horatio's face as he lightly chuckled when he saw her eyes light up.

"Slowly" he said as she got up and she nodded.

"Come with me please?" She asked and he nodded and walked with her through to the en-suite so she could go to the loo. It was clear she didn't want Horatio to leave her side for a second, but he didn't complain, because he had the same worry at the back of his head, eating at him too. But he didn't allow it to manifest itself visibly as he knew that would only make Zoë far worse. "Thank you Horatio." She said softly and he gave her a smile and then went to the loo himself as she washed her hands. They went downstairs and got themselves a glass of orange juice.

"What would you like for breakfast?" Horatio asked softly as he turned to her with a gentle smile.

"Pancakes and some strawberries, please." She said softly and he nodded as she sat down at the counter and rubbed her stomach. She sipped her orange juice as Horatio nodded and then got on with making breakfast. She watched him with a dreamy smile as he whisked the mixture together. She finally felt calm in herself and safe in that Horatio was there to protect her, even though the thought of losing Maya at that stage of the pregnancy still had her emotions whirling around inside. She took a deep breath and leant forwards on the counter with a peaceful smile as her eyes dropped to Horatio's ass.

Suddenly, she sprang back off the stool as her heart rate rocketed to the sky after her phone made her jump when it began to ring. Horatio quickly turned and dropped the bowl to the side before he wrapped his arms around her as she was about to slip on the floor as she dropped the orange juice. He held her up against him as she hyperventilated and trembled beneath his hands.

"It's your phone sweetheart, you're okay." Horatio said softly as she took a deep breath and nodded as she briefly closed her eyes. She instantly calmed down and stood on her own two feet as she swallowed and nodded up at Horatio.

"It startled me, I'm sorry." She said quietly and Horatio nodded and then released her.

"It's okay sweetheart." Horatio said softly as he turned back to pick the bowl up but quickly turned back to Zoë to keep his eyes on her while she took a deep breath and stepped forwards towards the counter. She picked up her phone which assured Horatio that she was completely fine again and he turned back to get on with the breakfast, but listened to every noise he could. She picked up a sponge and answered the phone at the same time. She put the phone between her ear and shoulder as she swept the small amount of orange juice from the counter work surface. Horatio glanced back often.

"Hello?" She asked softly as she slowly crouched and wiped up the orange juice from the floor.

"I'll do that sweetheart." Horatio said softly after he put the bowl down and crouched in front of her. She lightly shook her head and tenderly pushed his hand away and continued to do it herself. Horatio stood back up and allowed her to do whatever she pleased.

"Yeah, I'm okay, so is Horatio, thank you Joe. How about yourself?" She said softly as she pulled the disinfectant from the side to get rid of the sticky feeling on the floor.

"Yes, I'm okay… I know I've been quiet this week." She said as she stood back up slowly and threw the sponge into the sink as she leant against the counter. Horatio glanced back when he heard a hint of firmness in her voice and saw that she looked slightly frustrated.

"It's my 19th week, Joe, you do the math." She said slightly bitterly as Horatio looked round to her again and swallowed. Zoë then exhaled heavily as she raised her other hand to her face before running her fingers through her hair.

"There's no need to apologise, it's fine sweetie. I'm sorry I didn't mean to get snappy." She said softly as she looked down to the floor and crossed her free arm across her chest.

"No, please don't. I don't want to see anyone today, today is the day it happened in the last pregnancy and I don't want to go out or see anyone if that's okay?" She asked as she wiped her eyes again and took a deep breath.

"Yeah, I'll see you sometime next week though, or at the weekend." Zoë said softly as she swallowed and looked up at the ceiling to try and push the tears back.

"Yeah, okay Bunny." She said softly before she pressed her lips together.

"Okay see you sometime soon, we love you back." Zoë said softly and then hung up. She took a deep breath and then placed the phone on the side and looked over to Horatio as he turned back to her.

"Okay?" Horatio asked warmly and she nodded.

"Just making sure everything was in order." Zoë said softly and then moved to sit back at the counter as she poured herself more orange after picking the glass up that hadn't smashed. Horatio then put a plate of pancakes in front of her and then put a bowl of strawberries between her seat and his on the counter. "Thank you, Kitten." She smiled warmly as he turned around with his plate of pancakes.

"Not too much syrup." He said softly and she nodded but continued to squeeze the bottle all over the pancakes. "I think that's enough." Horatio said softly as he quickly took the bottle from her hands and put a little on his pancakes with a small boyish smile. She smiled up at him sweetly and he couldn't tell her off as she gave him the innocent, cute expression she'd mastered. He knew she'd mastered that facial expression and he knew she knew that if she pulled it, she usually got her own way. He then looked down at his plate and took a bite from the sweet pancakes while her smile developed into a grin with a light chuckle.

"I think our girls will learn to wrap you around their little fingers from the age of 2." She grinned at him and he chuckled as he looked up at her. He didn't want to accept that as true, but he knew it was more than likely the true outcome. 'He'll be extremely protective, but will be wrapped around their little fingers like a piece of string, I know it.' She thought to herself with a smug smile as she took a bite of her very sweet pancakes that caused her mouth to water more.

"Hmm… I think you're right, but I think you'll be wrapped around their fingers too, maybe not so much, we're just going to have to have a son next so he can wrap you around his little finger too." Horatio replied with a boyish smile as he looked up at her.

"Woah slow down tiger, I've still got these two in my tummy, we can't be thinking about more babies yet." She smiled and he chuckled lightly with a nod. "I hope we have twin sons next though." She grinned and Horatio chuckled again as he raised his eyebrows.

"You want 4 children now?" Horatio asked as he gave her his full attention. He wouldn't mind 4 children at all, but thought that 3 was Zoë's limits.

"Well, I wouldn't mind 4 children at all." She said softly and Horatio smiled with a nod as he glanced down at his pancakes.

"It would be nice to have two sons as well though." Horatio said softly and she nodded as he looked back up to her.

"Yeah, two daughters and two sons… you know, I'm starting to think that your… stuff is full of X chromosomes instead of Y chromosomes though… so far in the real world and dream world we've had girls." Zoë said warmly with a tender smile and Horatio laughed softly with a nod, he was starting to think the same thing. Once finished they went upstairs and into the bathroom, Horatio shared the bath with Zoë and rubbed her stomach as they soaked.

"Can you feel them kicking?" She asked softly as she relaxed her head back on his shoulder.

"Yes, it's really light though." Horatio said softly before he kissed the side of her head and Zoë nodded.

"I'd imagine they'll get a lot stronger in the next few weeks." She said softly and Horatio nodded. They got out and changed, Zoë wore Horatio's jogging bottoms and t-shirt as it made her feel a little better and fit better than her jogging bottoms. They relaxed on the sofa for a few hours in each other's arms.

"Are we going to have them christened?" Horatio asked softly and she nodded.

"I don't want to talk about that just yet though… can we talk about it tomorrow or something?" Zoë asked softly and he nodded as he lightly rubbed her stomach.

"Of course sweetheart" Horatio said softly as he kissed her temple. She then turned her head when she heard a knock at the door. She swallowed as her heart rate shot through the roof.

"Horatio!" She began to panic as she shot up and jumped to her feet and began to move away from the living room door and then doubled over when she felt the sharp pain on her lower abdomen. Horatio quickly got up himself and rushed over to her as she tried her best to rub her stomach.

"Sweetheart, it's okay, it's okay sweetheart. It's just someone knocking at the door." Horatio said as he moved closer as she stood back up and took a hold of his sleeve as she looked over to the door to the living room.

"Horatio! Don't let them take us!" She cried hysterically as she hyperventilated and panicked frantically. "Horatio please!" She screamed as he wrapped his arms around her. He held her tightly and then put his hand in her hair to hold her head close to his chest and neck to cry and give her some sort of sense of security.

"No-one is taking you. You're safe." Horatio said softly as he rubbed her back and felt her stomach pressing into his as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. "You're safe Zoë." Horatio said softly as he pulled his head back to look into her eyes as she moved her head to look up at him. He could see the utter terror in her eyes. "It's just someone at the door, you're safe." Horatio said softly and then saw a bead of blood about to fall from her nose. He quickly pulled tissues from his pocket and caught the blood with a warm expression. "You're okay." Horatio reassured her softly.

"No! It's happening again! It's happening again Horatio!" She cried hysterically as she pushed him away and ran to pick up a hidden gun from behind a bunch of books on the bookcase. She continued to hyperventilate as she turned around and took the safety off and looked over at the entrance to the living room.

"Zoë, sweetheart, no-one is going to hurt you." Horatio said as he moved closer to her again and reached out to her with a tender expression. He watched her rapid breathing and then stepped closer again. He quickly pulled her closer towards him and held her against him, but she still held her arm out with the gun in her hand. She pointed it to the living room door while Horatio felt her rapid breathing as her chest moved against his. Horatio swallowed as he took a deep breath. "Give me the gun sweetheart." Horatio said as he took hold of her wrist and looked at the gun while she held the tissue to her nose with the other hand. "Zoë, give me the gun please. You're safe, I promise you." Horatio said softly as he moved his hand to her hand and took a light hold of the gun. She exhaled a cry before he managed to pull it from her hand. He quickly put the safety on and held the gun behind his back as she fully turned to him and placed her head against his chest. "You're safe, see they've left now." Horatio said softly as he glanced out of the front window and saw a woman with a clipboard leaving. Zoë took a large deep broken breath against his chest while he continued to look outside for any potential threat as Zoë had him on high alert too. He then felt Zoë fall in his arms as her body relaxed which caused him to look back down to her. He dropped the gun lightly to a cushion on the sofa and then held Zoë tightly.

"Zoë?!" Horatio raised his voice and then lifted her when he didn't get a reply. He laid her on the sofa on her left side and ran his hand through her hair after checking her breathing and pulse. He held the tissue to her nose until she began to come around again when the bleeding stopped. His heart raced in his chest as he lightly rubbed her side.

"Mmm" she groaned as she moved and slowly opened her eyes. She swallowed and then looked at him with tired eyes as she blinked a few times.

"We're going to bed sweetheart." Horatio said softly as he lifted her up and walked upstairs with her. She exhaled a few moans and looked up at him while her vision still remained slightly blurred.

"Am I dreaming?" She asked softly as her eyes fixated on his red-hair while she took some deep breaths and continued to blink.

"No sweetheart, you've just passed out. I'm going to take these jogging bottoms off okay and then you need to get some rest, you've had barely any sleep this week." He said softly as they reached the top of the stairs.

"Please don't leave me; I don't want to lose our girls." She said quietly as she looked up at Horatio as he delicately placed her on the bed after kicking the duvet back. She exhaled heavily as she looked up at him, he could see that she was about to cry, he knew that her emotions were everywhere due to such lack of sleep, so much worry and because of what had just happened.

"I'm not leaving you sweetheart." Horatio said softly as he gently pulled the jogging bottoms from her hips, then off her legs. He then folded them and put them on the chest of draws and sat by her legs with a gentle smile. "Stretches first and then sleep, okay? I'll be in bed with you, don't worry. I promise you that you'll be fine." He said softly and she nodded as he helped her to stretch her legs so she didn't get cramp when sleeping. He then undressed down to his boxers and got into bed with her. He laid on her side of the bed so she could sleep on her left side and hug him as she was more comfortable on that side. He placed his arm around her and also held her close while she placed her head on his chest. He put the TV on low and watched it as he rubbed her back as he played with her hair and felt her fall into a deep sleep. 'At least the week is nearly over, it has been a scary week, she's done so well to get through it this well though. I am proud of her; I thought it was going to be a lot more difficult. It's not been easy, but it could have been so much worse.' He thought to himself as he kissed her forehead a few times. He nuzzled her forehead a little as he needed a little more comfort and closed his eyes as the scent of her fresh hair relaxed him.