p class="MsoNormal"em"Fuck you Austin!" I yelled and threw the nearest object at him, it happened to be lamp. Unfortunately, he dodged it. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"Saint listen to me!" Austin yelled back. He took a step toward me but stopped when I went to grab a vase from the coffee table. "It wasn't like that." /em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"It wasn't like that," I scoffed. "Look me in the eye say that. Tell me that that wasn't your intention the moment you met me. Tell me that that never crossed your mind after I walked out of that store." But he couldn't. He couldn't even look at me. Instead he looked down at the floor and sighed. "That's what I thought." /em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"Saint I…" but he didn't finish. I knew what he wanted to say, but I also knew that if he did say it he wouldn't mean it. I think he knew that as well. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"Was it worth it Austin? Was it worth all of this?" I asked. I had lost all my fight and it showed in my voice. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"No. No it wasn't," he whispered. This time he did look at me and I could see it in his eyes that he meant it. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"You're losing her all over again." I didn't have anything else to say. Nothing either of us said would fix what had been done. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"Please don't go," Austin begged when I got to the door. I stopped with my hand on the knob and turned to look at him. Tears were streaming down his face and he looked so broken. But so was I, I just had years of practicing how to hide it. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"Goodbye."/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"It was raining, but it was appropriate considering what was about to happen. I was being released. After six years, I was finally being discharged. Apparently, my sanity had returned and cured my demons. At least that's what the staff believed; in reality I had learned what to say and do to make them think I was being cured. Slowly but surely it worked./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Are you ready to go Saint?" Dr. Greenfield asked from behind me. "Saint?" He asked again when I didn't respond./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," I answered. I probably should've been more enthusiastic, but considering I was going to living on my own for the first time in six years I suppose they thought I was just nervous./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""You can always call if you need to," the doctor reminded me. He had been reminding me for the past couple of days which was what gave it away that I was being released. "In the meantime, live your life." That seemed to be the unofficial motto for the hospital; all the doctors and nurses said it./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Who's picking me up?" I asked as I followed Dr. Greenfield down the overly white hallway. Per one of the nurses, everything was white because it was a calming color. Anything too dark or bright could affect the healing process./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Your mom was going to come, but she had a doctor's appointment of her own to go to. I took the liberty of calling you a cab. It's all paid for and he knows where to go." Waiting by the front door was all my things. It wasn't much, just a duffel bag full of clothes and couple of books. "Your phone is in the front pocket of your duffel bag along with a piece of paper that has my number on it. I wish you the best Saint."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Bye." I wasn't really surprised that no one came to get me. As much as I wanted to believe that my mom actually had a doctor's appointment, I knew it was just a cover. My family wasn't neglectful by any means, they were just emotional. Something as simple as me being released who send them all into a crying frenzy./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Congratulations," the cab driver said from the front seat. He looked at me through the rear-view mirror with a bright smile./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks," I mumbled. I just wanted to go home. I had to unpack all my things, make an appointment to DMV to renew my license since it expired while I was in the hospital, and relish in being able to be alone for once./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"The cab driver turned the radio up slightly and pulled away from the curb. Luckily while I was in the hospital I could use to internet and have an iPod. Music was the only thing that kept me from going insane for the past six years. When I was admitted, I was nineteen and just coming out of my "emo phase." I still listened to some of the same music as the years went by but developed a new love for artists like The Killers and Frank Sinatra. A huge gap in styles, but still good nonetheless./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"If I remembered correctly, the drive from the hospital to my house was about ten minutes; we had been driving for at least twenty. I wanted to ask where we going but the cab driver was so focused on weaving through traffic and humming to the radio that I didn't say anything. Another five minutes went by before we pulled up to a large tan house with a gate blocking the front door./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Here we are," the cab driver announced happily. I looked at the house with mild interest. This wasn't my house and I wasn't about to pretend that it was./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""I don't live here," I informed him. He smiled at me again through the rear-view mirror and nodded./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""I believe you do. This was the address your family gave the doctor and then he passed it along to me. Do you need help with you bags?" I declined his offer and thanked him. During the drive I had found some money in my duffel bag so I gave him a five for a tip. "Here's my card. If you need anything give me a call."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Thank you." I was a bit surprised by his offer, but I took his card nonetheless then gathered my things. I waited on the curb for him to drive away before turning around and looking at the house again. With a sigh, I ventured up the driveway. On the gate was a note and I immediately recognized my aunt's handwriting./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"emSaint, /em/p
p class="MsoNormal"emWe are so proud of you! We wanted to be there to pick you up, but your mother had to go to the doctor for a check-up. There's a key under the mat in front of the door. Welcome to the beginning of a new start./em/p
p class="MsoNormal"emLove you, /em/p
p class="MsoNormal"emAunt Nahla. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal"em /em/p
p class="MsoNormal"So my mom really did have to go to the doctor. Comforting. Apparently they bought me a new house while I was admitted. Not so comforting. I didn't like change. Especially when I didn't have a say in it. I also really liked my other house. I had been only lived in it about a year before I had to relocate, but it was the first large thing I had bought on my own. There was nothing I could do about it I guess. Taking the note with me, I opened the gate./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"As promised there was a key under the mat. Rather than let it sink in, I opened the front door and stepped inside. As much as I wanted to hate the house, it was beautiful inside. All the furniture was black, leather, and medieval looking. The walls were grey with a white trim and the floors were light oak wood to offset from the dark furniture. Setting my bag down on the stairs, I ventured farther into the house. The kitchen had stainless steel appliances and marble counter tops. The dining table was black as well./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Nice," I muttered when I finally got to my room. The furniture matched the ones downstairs, but my walls were painted a slightly darker grey. There was a bathroom connected to the bedroom and a large closet that already had clothes in it. I was about to unpack everything when my stomach demanded my attention./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Of course," I sighed as I looked through the freezer. The kitchen was stocked with food but there was one important thing missing: TV dinners. I knew they weren't healthy and full of salt but they were delicious. I searched for my car keys for a moment then realized I didn't have any. But curiosity got the better of me and I wondered into the garage./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"To say I was surprised was a bit of an understatement. I was outright astonished. In the middle of the garage was a dark red Mercedes AMG GT wrapped in a pink bow. On the windshield was note that said "from grandpa." I opened the driver side door and sat down. The seats were leather and extremely comfortable. There was also a key in the ignition. While I knew I had an expired license, I didn't care. I needed to go to the store and I wanted to drive the car. Once the bow and note were off the car, I opened the garage door and took off into town./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Will that be all?" The cashier asked with a tired smile./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," I replied and returned the smile as best I could. Even though I didn't like people, I wasn't one for being rude. "Thank you," I told her and grabbed my bags after paying for everything. I was about to walk out of the store when I was engulfed in a large, tight embrace. "Get off of me!" I demanded and pulled away from the hug. I assumed it was one of my family members but when I looked up it was a man I didn't know./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Taylor is it really you?" The stranger asked. He looked like he was about to cry and I'm sure I looked like I was confused out of my mind. Probably because I was./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Who the hell is Taylor?" I asked before I could stop myself. The stranger looked at me for a moment before his eyes went wide./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh my god I'm so sorry. I thought you were my wi… I thought you were someone else," he apologized sheepishly./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Austin are you ready to go," another stranger asked suddenly as he approached. He glanced at me and then did a quick double take. "Tay-"/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""No this is…" the stranger stopped him then looked over at me./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Saint," I filled in for him. Never before had I had such an awkward encounter./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""This is Saint. I accidentally bumped into her and was just apologizing. I'm Austin and this is my friend Alan."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Hi," I replied blandly. "Anyway, sorry for… bumping into you. Have a good day." I didn't stay a second longer. Once I got to my car I threw my bags in the passenger seat and drove home. After I put all but one of the TV dinners in the freezer and put the other in the microwave I grabbed my laptop from my room and placed it on the kitchen island. As much as I didn't want to go to the DMV I had to./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"After dinner, I took a well-deserved bubble bath then got into my pajamas. I was going to put on a movie but as soon as I laid down on my bed I was out like a light./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"Saint listen to me!" Austin yelled back. He took a step toward me but stopped when I went to grab a vase from the coffee table. "It wasn't like that." /em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"It wasn't like that," I scoffed. "Look me in the eye say that. Tell me that that wasn't your intention the moment you met me. Tell me that that never crossed your mind after I walked out of that store." But he couldn't. He couldn't even look at me. Instead he looked down at the floor and sighed. "That's what I thought." /em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"Saint I…" but he didn't finish. I knew what he wanted to say, but I also knew that if he did say it he wouldn't mean it. I think he knew that as well. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"Was it worth it Austin? Was it worth all of this?" I asked. I had lost all my fight and it showed in my voice. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"No. No it wasn't," he whispered. This time he did look at me and I could see it in his eyes that he meant it. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"You're losing her all over again." I didn't have anything else to say. Nothing either of us said would fix what had been done. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"Please don't go," Austin begged when I got to the door. I stopped with my hand on the knob and turned to look at him. Tears were streaming down his face and he looked so broken. But so was I, I just had years of practicing how to hide it. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"em"Goodbye."/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"It was raining, but it was appropriate considering what was about to happen. I was being released. After six years, I was finally being discharged. Apparently, my sanity had returned and cured my demons. At least that's what the staff believed; in reality I had learned what to say and do to make them think I was being cured. Slowly but surely it worked./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Are you ready to go Saint?" Dr. Greenfield asked from behind me. "Saint?" He asked again when I didn't respond./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," I answered. I probably should've been more enthusiastic, but considering I was going to living on my own for the first time in six years I suppose they thought I was just nervous./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""You can always call if you need to," the doctor reminded me. He had been reminding me for the past couple of days which was what gave it away that I was being released. "In the meantime, live your life." That seemed to be the unofficial motto for the hospital; all the doctors and nurses said it./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Who's picking me up?" I asked as I followed Dr. Greenfield down the overly white hallway. Per one of the nurses, everything was white because it was a calming color. Anything too dark or bright could affect the healing process./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Your mom was going to come, but she had a doctor's appointment of her own to go to. I took the liberty of calling you a cab. It's all paid for and he knows where to go." Waiting by the front door was all my things. It wasn't much, just a duffel bag full of clothes and couple of books. "Your phone is in the front pocket of your duffel bag along with a piece of paper that has my number on it. I wish you the best Saint."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Bye." I wasn't really surprised that no one came to get me. As much as I wanted to believe that my mom actually had a doctor's appointment, I knew it was just a cover. My family wasn't neglectful by any means, they were just emotional. Something as simple as me being released who send them all into a crying frenzy./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Congratulations," the cab driver said from the front seat. He looked at me through the rear-view mirror with a bright smile./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Thanks," I mumbled. I just wanted to go home. I had to unpack all my things, make an appointment to DMV to renew my license since it expired while I was in the hospital, and relish in being able to be alone for once./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"The cab driver turned the radio up slightly and pulled away from the curb. Luckily while I was in the hospital I could use to internet and have an iPod. Music was the only thing that kept me from going insane for the past six years. When I was admitted, I was nineteen and just coming out of my "emo phase." I still listened to some of the same music as the years went by but developed a new love for artists like The Killers and Frank Sinatra. A huge gap in styles, but still good nonetheless./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"If I remembered correctly, the drive from the hospital to my house was about ten minutes; we had been driving for at least twenty. I wanted to ask where we going but the cab driver was so focused on weaving through traffic and humming to the radio that I didn't say anything. Another five minutes went by before we pulled up to a large tan house with a gate blocking the front door./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Here we are," the cab driver announced happily. I looked at the house with mild interest. This wasn't my house and I wasn't about to pretend that it was./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""I don't live here," I informed him. He smiled at me again through the rear-view mirror and nodded./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""I believe you do. This was the address your family gave the doctor and then he passed it along to me. Do you need help with you bags?" I declined his offer and thanked him. During the drive I had found some money in my duffel bag so I gave him a five for a tip. "Here's my card. If you need anything give me a call."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Thank you." I was a bit surprised by his offer, but I took his card nonetheless then gathered my things. I waited on the curb for him to drive away before turning around and looking at the house again. With a sigh, I ventured up the driveway. On the gate was a note and I immediately recognized my aunt's handwriting./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"emSaint, /em/p
p class="MsoNormal"emWe are so proud of you! We wanted to be there to pick you up, but your mother had to go to the doctor for a check-up. There's a key under the mat in front of the door. Welcome to the beginning of a new start./em/p
p class="MsoNormal"emLove you, /em/p
p class="MsoNormal"emAunt Nahla. /em/p
p class="MsoNormal"em /em/p
p class="MsoNormal"So my mom really did have to go to the doctor. Comforting. Apparently they bought me a new house while I was admitted. Not so comforting. I didn't like change. Especially when I didn't have a say in it. I also really liked my other house. I had been only lived in it about a year before I had to relocate, but it was the first large thing I had bought on my own. There was nothing I could do about it I guess. Taking the note with me, I opened the gate./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"As promised there was a key under the mat. Rather than let it sink in, I opened the front door and stepped inside. As much as I wanted to hate the house, it was beautiful inside. All the furniture was black, leather, and medieval looking. The walls were grey with a white trim and the floors were light oak wood to offset from the dark furniture. Setting my bag down on the stairs, I ventured farther into the house. The kitchen had stainless steel appliances and marble counter tops. The dining table was black as well./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Nice," I muttered when I finally got to my room. The furniture matched the ones downstairs, but my walls were painted a slightly darker grey. There was a bathroom connected to the bedroom and a large closet that already had clothes in it. I was about to unpack everything when my stomach demanded my attention./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Of course," I sighed as I looked through the freezer. The kitchen was stocked with food but there was one important thing missing: TV dinners. I knew they weren't healthy and full of salt but they were delicious. I searched for my car keys for a moment then realized I didn't have any. But curiosity got the better of me and I wondered into the garage./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"To say I was surprised was a bit of an understatement. I was outright astonished. In the middle of the garage was a dark red Mercedes AMG GT wrapped in a pink bow. On the windshield was note that said "from grandpa." I opened the driver side door and sat down. The seats were leather and extremely comfortable. There was also a key in the ignition. While I knew I had an expired license, I didn't care. I needed to go to the store and I wanted to drive the car. Once the bow and note were off the car, I opened the garage door and took off into town./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Will that be all?" The cashier asked with a tired smile./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Yeah," I replied and returned the smile as best I could. Even though I didn't like people, I wasn't one for being rude. "Thank you," I told her and grabbed my bags after paying for everything. I was about to walk out of the store when I was engulfed in a large, tight embrace. "Get off of me!" I demanded and pulled away from the hug. I assumed it was one of my family members but when I looked up it was a man I didn't know./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Taylor is it really you?" The stranger asked. He looked like he was about to cry and I'm sure I looked like I was confused out of my mind. Probably because I was./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Who the hell is Taylor?" I asked before I could stop myself. The stranger looked at me for a moment before his eyes went wide./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Oh my god I'm so sorry. I thought you were my wi… I thought you were someone else," he apologized sheepishly./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Austin are you ready to go," another stranger asked suddenly as he approached. He glanced at me and then did a quick double take. "Tay-"/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""No this is…" the stranger stopped him then looked over at me./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Saint," I filled in for him. Never before had I had such an awkward encounter./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""This is Saint. I accidentally bumped into her and was just apologizing. I'm Austin and this is my friend Alan."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Hi," I replied blandly. "Anyway, sorry for… bumping into you. Have a good day." I didn't stay a second longer. Once I got to my car I threw my bags in the passenger seat and drove home. After I put all but one of the TV dinners in the freezer and put the other in the microwave I grabbed my laptop from my room and placed it on the kitchen island. As much as I didn't want to go to the DMV I had to./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"After dinner, I took a well-deserved bubble bath then got into my pajamas. I was going to put on a movie but as soon as I laid down on my bed I was out like a light./p