Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, but I do enjoy watching it!

AN: Everything in Italics is Relena's thoughts. The bullets are the actual underpants quotes. Have fun reading!

Underpants Quotes: a fanfic by me!

Muffled laughter wafted its way through the office hallways, making it's way to the ears of a certain dignified young lady. Relena Peacecraft wrinkled her brows. This is getting ridiculous! She thought as she glared at her closed office door. She had tried to block out the laughter for fifteen minutes already, but enough is enough. I'm going to put a stop to this right this instant!

She marched to the door and practically yanked it off its hinges in her attempt to gain some peace and quiet. Walking down the brightly lit hallway, she began her search for the source of laughter.

Minutes later, she found Hilde and Sally doubled over, laughing and trying not to fall off the sofa in the women's lounge room. "And what, may I ask, is so funny that you have to distract me from some very important negotiation papers?" Relena asked, standing square in front of them.

"Hehehe Hi Relena" Hilde stuttered, trying desperately to control her laughter. Sally wasn't much better and moved over on the sofa, motioning for Relena to join them. What am I getting myself into? Relena smiled to herself. Nevertheless, she figured she might as well hear them out. She could use a few laughs now that she thought of it.

Hilde and Sally whipped out a very crumpled piece of paper, brandishing it in front of Relena. "This is soooo funny, Lena, check this out." Hilde giggled as she handed over the paper.

Relena scanned the sheet of paper, totally confused by its contents. "What is this?" A small smile played on her lips as she noticed the word 'underpants' in every sentence. Trust Hilde to be just as immature as her boyfriend. Duo's crazy sense of humour sure has rubbed off on her.

"It's a little list we came up with." Sally said, finally able to stem the flow of giggles. "It's called, simply enough, the Underpants Quotes! You take any sentence said by anyone and switch one word with the word underpants."

"We have here a list of things we heard the guys say during the wars." Hilde took up where Sally left off. "Now normally it's very serious and solemn, being a war and all. But it's down right hilarious when turned into an underpants quote!"

Sally nodded. There was a twinkle in her eye as she asked, "Want to see Heero's?"

"Gimme that!" Relena snatched the paper out of Sally's hands. Not wanting to miss a golden opportunity to see some of Heero's quotes.

Let's see, Relena searched the paper looking for a Heero quote. This looks good! 'Then I'll give you one piece of advice….Dying hurts like hell.'

Now switch a word with 'underpants'. Now the quote reads… 'Then I'll give you one piece of advice….Underpants hurt like hell.'

Relena grinned. Bring it on, baby!

· "Quatre, we're not underpants"

· "Do as you like, it's your underpants" Relena gasped remembering that Heero had said that original quote to her only a few years ago. This version just sounds sick and wrong!

"You girls are terribly naughty!" Relena smirked, looking over the paper to her friends.

"Yeah well, we have to have our fun in one way or another!" Hilde

countered, not missing the smirk on Relena's face.

"Keep reading. There's more good stuff." Sally directed.

· "Relena is drowning in her underpants" Ack! Where did that come from?!? I'll get you for this Sally!

"Hey wait! Is that all?" Relena frantically searched the page for more of Heero.

"Yeah, but your brother's got some good stuff in here too." Sally pointed to the sheet.

"My brother?" Relena blinked, "Do I even want to know?"

"Sure you do! Go on, read more!" Hilde piped up. She was bubbling with the anticipation of Relena's reactions.

Ok, Milliardo's turn!

· "I would like to have a codename too. Let's say, polka dotted underpants?" Relena howled with laughter, making Hilde and Sally jump. I wasn't expecting this…what else has he got?

· "No, I'm dead. But I can't sleep peacefully in my underpants while the ghost of Trieze is around" Relena snickered, I wonder what Milliardo would say if he saw this?

· "I switch between two underpants. My experience in battle has taught me to be cunning like that" Cunning? More like gross, gross, gross!

· "Underpants. I previously fought to take it over from the Alliance, and now I'm fighting to defend it. Talk about irony" heheheh…

· "It's these showy underpants that I want to discard in this battle" What the…

· "The most annoying and fearful enemies in the Universe; the underpants"

Relena burst out laughing. "This stuff is precious! Where did you find it?"

"Wouldn't you like to know? Too bad. I'm not telling." Sally grinned

Hilde bounces on the sofa as she tries to get into a comfy position. "You have to see Duo's! You'll laugh so hard…not like you aren't laughing hard enough." Hilde smirked noticing how red Relena's face had turned because she was laughing so hard she was gasping for air.

"Yes, and after Duo's read Wufei's. He's not normally a funny person, but you'll like what you read." Sally suggested. Okay, Duo's first. I can't wait, and naturally, I don't have too!

· "Don't you just admire my underpants?" Scary…

· "Number one again?! Number two's better than number one! Give me a turn next."

Not knowing where to put the 'underpants', Relena looked up at the girls. "I don't get this one."

"Oh, that's just an extra I stuck in there. It's not really an underpants quote, but if you think toiletries you'll get it." Sally continued with her explanation seeing that Relena hadn't understood her directions. "You know, number one and number two…oh come on Relena, kids use this terminology all the time. To go pee or poo! Number one and Number two!

"Oh." Then Relena fully realized the grossness of it all. "Ewwwwww! That's so gross. I didn't want to know that!" Relena shook her head as if trying to get rid of the 'grossness' seeping through her.

Hilde giggled. "You'd need to know this stuff eventually! Now keep reading Duo's Quotes."

"Do I want too?"

"Yes."

· "I don't mind being the God of Underpants forever." God of Underpants? I wonder how he'll respond when I call him that!

· "Oh man. Quatre loves to blame himself for everything if you let him. Sooner or later he'll start saying it's his fault there's no underpants in outer space!" I don't know about that. Quatre definitely has the resources to supply the entire universe with underpants…

Hmm, Wufei's turn. Relena thought. I wonder what injustices are being done today…

· "Destroy the underpants and there won't be a problem" Wow! Not only does he have a problem for weaklings and women, now he hates underpants as well?

· "Haven't you guys gotten tired of these meaningless underpants yet?" Wow, the plot thickens Smirk

· "I don't kill underpants or children." Uh huh, sure you don't…

· "How does she think she can uphold justice without any underpants?" Whoa! All I know is that he better not be talking about me!

"Well, I'd say we've succeeded today." Sally smiled as she watched Relena laughing her head off.

"Lena, why'd you stop? You haven't read Trowa's or Quatre's quotes yet." Hilde reminded Relena as she stood up.

"Oh, I'm not leaving; I'm just taking a short break. Be right back." And with that, Relena, quickly walked out the door.

AN: So what do you think? Funny, not funny? Please review and tell me what you think! Thanks in advance.