False Advertising
By: Reaver17
Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY
A little random storie resulting from boredom and the insistence of the voices in my head to do something when I'm not writing larger stories, what can I say? Those voices have some pretty good ideas.
False advertising:
The warehouse was dark, it was cramped, it was smelly, it was filled with the resentful stares and harsh whisperings of the White Fang agents bustling around in their entirely illegal work, but for now to the three criminal's gathered round the makeshift kitchen table, it was home, and like all homes it had it's issues, one of many which was currently unfolding.
"No." Mercury scowled deeply staring at the thing on the table in front of him.
Emerald sighed banging her forehead softly on the table, Neo stood a few feet away with her arms crossed and a pout on her face "Would you just try it!"
Mercury humphed stubbornly "For all I know it could kill me. And I actually like not being killed, even if it means having to hang out with you…...people." The way he said 'people' sounded like he was discussing a small dirty and unpleasant rodent.
Neo tapped her foot impatiently and threw her hands up in the air looking at Emerald who groaned "Oh come on! We all had one, it's fine!"
Mercury's scowl deepened and he narrowed his eye suspiciously in the petite ice cream girl's direction "That proves nothing, she never liked me."
"How would you know!?" Emerald said exasperated "She doesn't even speak!"
"I can tell… besides, even if it doesn't kill me it's still false advertising." Emerald banged her head on the table more forcefully this time.
"Not this again, just. Eat. The. Damn. Hamburger!" Mercury glared murderously at the object on the table, sitting in front of him on a plate was nothing more than a burger, brought to him by the now incredulous mute standing beside him.
"It's not made of ham, it's made of beef!" The silver haired assassin crossed his arms glaring at his green haired partner.
"NOBODY. CARES. JUST EAT IT." Emerald growled her patience thinning quickly.
"Not until you give it proper advertising."
"SERIOUSLY!?"
"Yes."
"But it sounds so weird."
"SAY IT." Mercury glared.
Emerald slumped, a miserable expression overtaking her face, she glanced hopefully at Neo who just raised an eyebrow expectantly, the green haired thief let out an exasperated sigh for the eightieth time in five minutes.
"Oh, fine! Mercury…..would please….please….just take one bite…...of the…...the…" Mercury raised an eyebrow "The…the…...beefburger."
Mercury smiled smugly and reached for the burger.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! I really liked writing this bit, it was based off of my buddy's priceless reaction one day when I asked him why they called it a hamburger when it was made of beef. I hope you liked reading it as much as I did writing it and have a Zwarpy Day!