Title: The Joke (1/1)
Author: Michael Dunbar
Summary: Hard to say really, its quite short so just read it.
Disclaimer: Joss owns everything, I own nothing.... Woohoo?
- "So...A Jewish man walks into a bar"
I've heard this joke so many times before it's untrue and yet here he is, still telling them like nothing happened. Like I haven't pummeled him to death a million times over and watched his lifeless corpse with a smile and a twinkle in my eye. He's just sat here, not moving just drinking from a bottle and telling that damn joke.
It would be nice if he had another one, just one other joke to add a little flavor it wouldn't even matter if it was funny or not. It'd just keep me from going slowly insane on this stool while drinking this water. It would keep me from wanting to do to him to many painful things that the world around me would welcome.
This water tastes like crap too; it's always warm and makes me sweat more.
I'm sure that's the reason it's given to me.
"So... A Jewish man walks into a bar"
There he goes again with that damn joke, I wish he'd stop. There are all sorts of weapons lined up on the wall that I can use on him and have done a million times before but he comes back. So I grip my head in a vice grip and push my fingers in my ears, I've done this before as well.
It never works.
There are only so many hours you can stick your fingers in your ears before your arms going numb.
Only so many times.
Now I'm thinking of sticking my fingers in his ears until they bleed, until he stops telling that damn joke.
"So... A Jewish man walks into a bar"
Once again, once more I drink the water and once more I think of using the axe on his neck and the only restraint on me is that I've done it all before and it's never worked then so why should it work now?
I suppose there's the fact that it'd get a load of anger out of my system, but its also one more nail in my coffin I suppose. One more joke and I'll snap then maybe they'll see the real me.
I suppose that's what's they are waiting for really. They want me to snap, want me to so easily give in and then they'll laugh at my broken soul as if it was nothing. I can withstand a few more decades of this I'm sure. "So... A Jewish man walks into a bar"
Now I'm not so sure, I'm definitely not so sure. The weapons in my hand before I even know it and his head is on the floor before I can even speak. A smile is on his face, that same smile that I loathe so much.
Xander Harris's smile.
"So... A Jewish man walks into a bar"
The head is still speaking but not for long as I use the acid in the bucket on him, then there are just screams and I actually smile.
This place is getting to me.
They said it was hell but I never believed them. I wish I'd never stepped through that damn portal now.
Damn Acathla.
Damn Buffy
And Damn Xander Harris.
Author: Michael Dunbar
Summary: Hard to say really, its quite short so just read it.
Disclaimer: Joss owns everything, I own nothing.... Woohoo?
- "So...A Jewish man walks into a bar"
I've heard this joke so many times before it's untrue and yet here he is, still telling them like nothing happened. Like I haven't pummeled him to death a million times over and watched his lifeless corpse with a smile and a twinkle in my eye. He's just sat here, not moving just drinking from a bottle and telling that damn joke.
It would be nice if he had another one, just one other joke to add a little flavor it wouldn't even matter if it was funny or not. It'd just keep me from going slowly insane on this stool while drinking this water. It would keep me from wanting to do to him to many painful things that the world around me would welcome.
This water tastes like crap too; it's always warm and makes me sweat more.
I'm sure that's the reason it's given to me.
"So... A Jewish man walks into a bar"
There he goes again with that damn joke, I wish he'd stop. There are all sorts of weapons lined up on the wall that I can use on him and have done a million times before but he comes back. So I grip my head in a vice grip and push my fingers in my ears, I've done this before as well.
It never works.
There are only so many hours you can stick your fingers in your ears before your arms going numb.
Only so many times.
Now I'm thinking of sticking my fingers in his ears until they bleed, until he stops telling that damn joke.
"So... A Jewish man walks into a bar"
Once again, once more I drink the water and once more I think of using the axe on his neck and the only restraint on me is that I've done it all before and it's never worked then so why should it work now?
I suppose there's the fact that it'd get a load of anger out of my system, but its also one more nail in my coffin I suppose. One more joke and I'll snap then maybe they'll see the real me.
I suppose that's what's they are waiting for really. They want me to snap, want me to so easily give in and then they'll laugh at my broken soul as if it was nothing. I can withstand a few more decades of this I'm sure. "So... A Jewish man walks into a bar"
Now I'm not so sure, I'm definitely not so sure. The weapons in my hand before I even know it and his head is on the floor before I can even speak. A smile is on his face, that same smile that I loathe so much.
Xander Harris's smile.
"So... A Jewish man walks into a bar"
The head is still speaking but not for long as I use the acid in the bucket on him, then there are just screams and I actually smile.
This place is getting to me.
They said it was hell but I never believed them. I wish I'd never stepped through that damn portal now.
Damn Acathla.
Damn Buffy
And Damn Xander Harris.