"You see Japan, every year I put my everything into it, my best musicians, best song writers, nothing is substandard. And yet every year I'm at the bottom of the charts. I even give them money so I would always be in the final. And who do you think gave them the Beatles and One Direction?"

"Well, you have won five times and as recently as 1997." said Japan.

"But that almost bloody twenty years ago. In that competition there was only 25 countries. NOW THERE IS FORTY TWO! Even Australia is in it. HE IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD, LET ALONE NOT BEING IN EUROPE!"

England sipped his tea. "At least I'm leaving the EU in two years. I'm sick of Germany and Belgium telling me what to do."

It was a month after the Brexit referendum and Japan came to visit England's house for a cup of tea. Since none of the European countries were on speaking terms with him and Northern Ireland, Scotland and Ireland swore very heavily whenever they saw him, it was the first decent conversation England had in a while.

The two were sitting in one of England's drawing rooms. The walls were taken up by shelves showing England's finest china, glassware and silverware. They were sitting on two elegant armchairs with a table between them laded with scones, cucumber sandwiches and tea.

Japan sipped his tea. "Is Scotland having another referendum soon?"

"Yes," said England. "His people did vote to remain in the EU so it is only fair. Of course, he is still mad at me and my people, but what do you expect?"

"What about Northern Ireland? I heard on the news there has been trouble there."

England loved the way Japan allowed him to talk about his problems even if Japan knew them already. He was also happy he hadn't brought up the turmoil in the markets.

"Northern Ireland has been in full tantrum mode for the last month. The peace process was long and hard and he had been peaceful for the last few years but now he keeps crying saying he doesn't want his mommy and daddy splitting up-"

Suddenly the ground began to shake. Japan, used to earthquakes, dived under the table between the two armchairs the two countries were sitting in. England, who almost never had experienced earthquakes stood up, looking like he had a plan but in the end he didn't know what to do.

"Under here." Japan shouted at England. England saw Japan and joined him under the table.

There was just enough room for the both of them under the table so they both found each other uncomfortably close to each other. Japan, knowing he couldn't just ask England to move over since it was a matter of live and death, stayed silence and began to blush. Meanwhile, England stared straight ahead and tried to ingore how close he was to Japan.

But Japan was confused. He believe earthquakes never happened in England's house and if they did never as strong as the ones a his house. He decided to ask England about it.

"England?"

"Yes?"

"Is it usual for you to get earthquakes?"

"We do get them occasionally here, but never this strong." England said. "This is even stronger than the one in 1931."

"How strong was-"

Japan was interrupted by the sound of china and glass smashing on the floor.

"Bloody hell!" swore England. "I bet that is my best china."

Then as suddenly as it started, the earthquake stopped. Japan immediately began to run outside, England not far behind him. They ran through England's house's halls. It was full of fallen suits of armour, books on the floor and paintings worth a fortune face down on England's expensive carpet. Japan never heard England swear as much as he did then. He would be very annoyed if lots of his precious belongings were in a state of ruin. But at least England's house was intact.

When they got outside, they saw fallen trees and telegraph wires and crash cars. But that wasn't what both countries were looking at. Above them, many miles abouve them, an extremely large head was looming over the English landscape. Due to the angle which they were viewing it at, they couldn't see it's eyes but they could see it's large lips and inside it's nostrils. It was orange and hairless, except for inside it's nose, where large dark orange hairs could be seen. There was no body to be seen but the head was still having a large effect on the earth in many ways, chiefly the weather, the earth itself and the two countries who were looking at it and freaking out.

"What is THAT?" shouted England, waving his figure at the head.

"It seems to be a floating giant head." replied Japan, softly. He brandished his katana. "I shall take it down with my katana if it poses a threat of any kind."

"No shit, Sherlock. But what does it want?" It really confused the englishman why there would be a giant head in the sky, confusing the weather. It couldn't be the Pictonians since they definitely weren't orange, big and bodiless and they already made peace with them. Who or what could it be?

"Maybe we could ask it what it wants, politely." said the katana-wielding country.

"How the bloody hell would we do that? It can't heard us from here even if it was quiet."

"Let me try."

Then, to to surprise of England, Japan shouted very loudly, "Would you mind telling us why you are here and what you want, please?"

For a minute or two, no reply came. England stared at Japan, wondering how the usually quiet nation could shout that loud. Japan looked at the head, waiting for a reply.

And they got a reply. With a shout that caused many natural disasters not though possible, for at least another eight years, the head bellowed, " SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!"