Things Daxter Is Not Allowed To Do

by DarkJakGirl

Samos finally decided enough was enough and made some fancy list of things I'm not allowed to do and glued it to one of the walls at the Naughty Ottsel. He threatened to, quote, 'tattoo it to my body' if I took it down or broke any of the rules. Crap.

1. Who Died And Made Him King Of The Rules?

Things Daxter Is Not Allowed To Do

1. Paint Torn's tattoo's pink when he is sleeping.

2. Or purple.

3. Glue Pecker to Dark Jak.

4. Convince Light Jak to use his Time Freeze to win at the slots.

5. Tip off Ashelin and the Freedom League that Samos is addicted to weed.

6. Clog Jak's Morph-Gun with peanut butter.

7. Spray paint "naughty stuff" on the Titan Suit.

8. And Samos's definition of "naughty stuff," not mine.

9. Put laxatives in Torn's beer.

10. Or anyone else's beer.

11. Or any other liquid of any kind.

12. Or food. In fact, no laxatives for Daxter.

13. Lock Pecker in a closet, and pretend to be Pecker to freak out Onin.

14. Ask Jak what the kid would look like if Dark Jak and Light Jak got married.

15. When Jak's at the Naughty Ottsel and just asks for water, I'm not allowed to scream "Hell no, H2O!" and throw a water balloon at him.(I totally got that from a movie!)

16. Steal one of Ashelin's bras and stick it in Jak's underwear drawer.

17. Try to sell the Heart of Mar to Jinx.

18. Draw a picture of Veger (human) in the Barbie Dream Van and mail it to Veger (Ottsel).

19. Blow up a Precursor Orb with the Peace Maker to see if they have any chocolate in them.

20. Dye all of Ashelin's clothes pink. Neon pink.

21. Rig the Slam Dozer to play the Elmo theme song whenever you open the hood.

22. Replace all of Keira's tools with sticks and blame Samos.

23. Get Pecker lodged in the Whack-A-Metal-Head machine. (It was an accident, I swear!)

24. Nail Keira's underwear to Samos's log while he was asleep.

25. Spray paint the Javelin X orange.

25. Or any vehicle I don't own.

26. Ask Jinx and Razor to figure out whose cigar is longer.

27. Fill Cutter's radiator with gasoline. (1) (I never liked that guy.)

28. Sell Erol to the circus.

29. Sell people rides on Light Jak.

30. Sell anything that does not technically qualify as mine.

DJG: "That was short."

Muse: "Should we make more?"

DJG: "I'm running out of inspiration for these already! GAH!" *Muse smacks over the head with a wrench* "Ahh, that's better!"

Muse: "Review fast or die slow."