A/N: Please note that neither I nor this story condones Kylo Ren's actions in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Also, many characters (Ben Solo/Kylo Ren, Luke Skywalker, Supreme Leader Snoke, Leia Organa, Han Solo, Rey, etc.) in this story do not belong to me, and are a product of Lucasfilm.
Ben Solo woke up.
He wasn't sure what had awoken him so suddenly. Wind howled outside and rain slashed viciously against the walls, but Ben was used to that by now. It was nothing to him.
He sat up, raked his fingers through his hair. It was around 04:00. There were no clocks in the dormitory; Ben simply knew. The heavy breathing of his dorm mates could hardly be heard over the gale outside.
Ben rubbed his eyes. It was useless to try to sleep now, but Call was in three hours.
He stood, nearly knocking his head on the bunk above him. Ben was already six feet tall at fourteen. He hoped he wouldn't grow anymore.
As quietly as he could, he opened the drawer underneath his bed. Within the few square feet it contained were a few spare shirts (which he wasn't supposed to have) his Padawan garb and school books (which he was) his own favorite novels (which he wasn't) his Lightsaber (which he was) and a hologram (which was absolutely forbidden). The latter was for communication with his parents. Needless to say, Ben didn't use it much.
Drawing out one of his favorite books, Ben jumped slightly as Haleron stirred above him. Ben froze. Reaching out with his senses, he found his friend's presence and gently calmed it. Haleron relaxed.
Breathing again, Ben opened the book and realized he needed light to read. Luke hadn't taught them how to summon light yet. Ben wasn't sure if they'd ever be taught that.
But how hard could it be? Ben concentrated. There was a lamp just outside the dormitory, maybe he could take light energy from that…
He focused all his energy on the wavering light outside the door. Ben willed it to come to him. Nothing. He slammed his palm against the bed in frustration. He put the book back into its drawer.
What now? Ben slumped back into his covers, sulky. He stared at Haleron's bunk above him. Maybe...
He'd sworn to Luke he'd never do that again, at least not to his friends. Well, he could keep promises later...
Ben didn't try to stop himself when he reached a hand up in front of him. And he certainly didn't try to stop himself from entering his friend's mind.
Ben had never read a sleeping person before. Haleron was... drifting. A face here and there. Speech blurred together. Ben was surprised to see his own face pop up, accompanied by his own voice, saying incomprehensible words. He drew his hand away and backed out.
Ben was pretty sure what he'd done was wrong. But he could not feel guilty, and he also knew that he would be trying it again.
Ben felt a small buzz in his brain. Call. Disoriented, Ben glanced at his dorm mates, who were stirring and sleepily donning their Padawan garb.
Strange. How quickly the hours seemed to pass.
Ben hastily assembled himself, quickly scratched off a day on his wall calendar, and followed his roommates out of the dormitory, joining the flow of the other Padawan to the main hall.
Quick breakfast, then first lessons. "How'd you sleep?" asked Haleron. Ben grimaced. "I woke up in the middle of the night. Couldn't sleep again." He failed to mention his intrusion into Haleron's mind.
"Why?" asked Haleron.
"I don't know." There has been none of the usual dreams and visions to awaken him; Ben was sure of that. Snoke had been silent for weeks.
"But think! Now only a month until you're fifteen!" pointed out Haleron. Ben smiled grudgingly. He'd get to build his real lightsaber by then. He'd been hunting Kyber crystals for months, hoping for the perfect one. Nothing had called to him so far, but it was only a matter of time.
As he made his way down to the arena, Ben wondered what first lessons would be today. An obstacle course? Gladiator battles? First lesson was a practical; it changed every day.
Ben saw natural light as he made his way through the door. So the roof was open. And it wasn't raining anymore, which made it even better.
Ben's breath caught when he saw it. A maze. Ben's classmate Zi'ihn elbowed him, grinning, and shoved his way to the front. Ben studied the maze from above while he had the chance. It was massive: the walls were comprised of thick gray stone and at least four meters high. Vines draped over the structure like an intricate net.
"Padawan!" Luke's voice echoed from above them. "You have done something like this before, yes?"
"Yes, Master," said Ben in harmony with the others. It made him cringe, calling his uncle "Master," like Luke owned and controlled him. But he did remember the last maze; he had been the first to find the exit. But that had been years ago.
The girls had just joined them. Kansa smiled at him. Ben stared straight ahead, not wanting to encourage her,
"You know what to do then. Lightsabers are obviously allowed. Don't die. Impress me. Begin!"
There was a mad scramble to extract Lightsabers. Ben drew his own, one with a black handle and a deep blue blade. He'd built it when he was eight, purely for training purposes. He thought he was outgrowing it. Ben sprinted through the entrance of the maze and plunged into the leftmost passage.
Silence. Ben was alone, the way he liked it. Alone with his thoughts, his senses. He reached out into the passages in front of him, behind him, on either side. He felt Camilla moving slowly along his right, and Kanial was up ahead of him. He could take Kanial out easily. Camilla would be more of a challenge, but he could do it.
Ben formed shields around his presence, like Luke had taught him. No one could sense him coming. He was completely invisible to his adversaries.
He crept up silently behind his dorm mate. At the last second, Kanial spun around. His eyes widened in surprise. "Ben!"
Ben whirled his Lightsaber and quickly disarmed Kanial. He pinned Kanial to the wall and attempted to enter his mind to force unconsciousness. Unfortunately, Kanial had seemed to have gotten hold of his senses and put barriers up. Ben grunted. Fine. We'll do this the hard way,
Ben slammed the butt of his Lightsaber into the side of Kanial's head. The older boy crumpled, unconscious. He'd be fine eventually.
Ben scooped up Kanial's Lightsaber and tucked it into his belt. He crept along the silent stone passage. Attempting to reach out with his senses again, Ben realized he could only sense a few feet in each direction; the walls must have been interfering somehow. Ben stopped and glanced up. There was a hole in the web of vines. He wondered if...
Only one way to find out. He tucked his blue Lightsaber into his holster and sprang up.
On top of the maze walls, Ben could both see and sense better: the Padawan were scattered throughout the maze, some already in combat. Traps were placed strategically. And as far as Ben could see, there was no exit.
Something tickled the back of his mind. Ben turned. Raising his Lightsaber just in time, Ben blocked a well-placed strike from Kansa. Apparently he wasn't the only one up here.
Kansa smirked and retreated to a defensive position. Her Lightsaber was turquoise.
Ben advanced, a predator stalking his prey. His Lightsaber sparked behind him. Kansa's mind was firmly blocked; he could not know what she was planning. The walls several feet thick, so there was no danger of falling off.
Ben attacked, his Lightsaber a deadly streak of blue slashing through the air. Kansa hastily blocked and drove the two Lightsabers downwards into the wall. Sparks flew from where the Lightsabers came in contact with the cold, gray stone. Kansa drew her Lightsaber up and feinted at Ben's face, but Ben was expecting that. He neatly parried her Lightsaber away from his stomach, throwing her off balance. Kansa stumbled backward. Quickly regaining her composure, she leapt over the passage below onto the neighbouring wall. Ben joined her.
He was barely ready for Kansa's strike when it came, it was so soon after his landing. After a slight cut to his upper left arm, he managed to sloppily deflect her blade. He stumbled the tiniest bit, allowing Kansa to turn and dart away. She dropped into the passage.
Ben snarled in frustration. He would not let Kansa beat him. Disregarding his wound, he sprinted along the wall, following Kansa from above. The barriers around her mind were sloppy now; he could track her, even without seeing her.
Ben leapt from wall to wall. She was fast, he had to be faster. He knew which ways she was turning before she turned. His mind was perfectly concealed, perfectly focused. He was the perfect hunter.
Kansa slowed for a millisecond, and Ben took his opportunity. He dropped down and landed silently in front of her. She whipped her Lightsaber out, but Ben had cornered her. She tried to swipe at him. Ben caught her Lightsaber with his own and twisted it out of her grip. He held his hand out to Kansa's face, crushing her mental barriers and forcing her into unconsciousness.
Ben turned away from her form, realizing he was breathless and sweating from all the running, and the suddenness with which he has used the Force. Rubbing his injury absentmindedly, he took a few steps away from Kansa. His hand came away sticky and red. He gazed at it, unconcerned. His first impulse was to somehow stop the hurting, but Ben found that his mind was clearer, his powers stronger, when he was in pain. He could use the pain to his advantage. He waved his injured arm around in a circle, and, having caught his breath and regained his senses, dove back into the maze.
He nearly lost track of how many turns he made. He took down whoever was in his path. Classmates, dorm mates, younger Padawan, older Padawan, nothing mattered.
Out of breath after a particularly fierce battle with Camilla, Ben leapt to the top of the maze again. Balanced on a wall, he gazed around for an exit, but still found nothing. He grimaced, realizing what he must do. His senses sharpened, his Lightsaber at the ready, Ben jumped back into the maze and continued his hunt.
"Ben," Luke beckoned to him as he walked out of the maze.
"Yes, Uncle?" Ben sighed. Luke gestured for Ben to walk next to him, and Ben complied.
"Physically, your performance this morning was outstanding," said Luke as they meandered down a garden path. "You managed to subdue the others with minimal injury. But, Ben... You are, after all, my nephew, and I know you. I can sense the darkness growing inside of you. It will destroy you if you do not contain it. My father... He discovered that the difficult way."
"My grandfather," snapped Ben, "was a great Jedi, as am I."
"I was doubting neither you nor Anakin Skywalker's greatness, only his methods," continued Luke calmly. "Ben, for your own sake, do not be deceived. Close the darkness out."
Hating it, Ben lowered his head. "I will do as you say, Uncle."
Luke smiled sadly. "Even now, I can sense your frustration. Control it, Ben. Control is everything."
Luke walked away, his cloak fanning out behind him. Ben stayed where he was. Luke did not look back.
What if his uncle was right? That was why his parents had sent him away, after all: he was a disappointment. He was using the Force in the wrong manner, learning the ways of the Dark Side. Ben's emotions had always presented a problem to him; he had difficulty reigning them in. He had assumed that, being a Jedi, you were allowed to feel what you wanted. But being a Jedi Knight was about "control," as Luke put it. Ben had nowhere to go, no one to go to. No one would understand. He was alone.
And then Snoke had come to him, about a year ago. He had explained to Ben about the Dark Side, about Ben's lineage. The Dark Side was the truth. On his fifteenth birthday, Ben would pledge himself. He would prove himself to Snoke.
Ben felt it again. The Force, tearing him apart from the inside. The call to the Light. The call to the Dark. What was right? He didn't know. He couldn't choose. He didn't know! Because how could he abandon a part of himself?
Ben hadn't realized he had been walking until he was outside the facility. A light rain had started to fall. Ben felt cold streams of water race down his face, his back. He was so lost.
But his fifteenth birthday was in a month. Just a month. He could figure it out. He could.
But he couldn't. Ben made a decision. He would meet with Snoke tonight. Snoke would answer his questions. Snoke would know what to do. He always did.
A/N: Hope you like my first Star Wars fic! Don't be afraid to comment and/or criticise.