Title: Dear Lady Celi...
Author: DaystarsMom and Sayoko Bizen
Rating: PG
Characters: Everybody, sooner or later
Summary: With 3 marriages under her belt, Lady Celi is the perfect person to act as Shin Makoku's "Dear Abby."

Disclaimer: Good grief, it's fan fiction. Of course it's Not Ours. Do people really need to be told this?

Dear Lady Celi

by

DaystarsMom and Sayoko Bizen

Dear Lady Celi,

I'll have you know that I thought this column was very silly and a waste of perfectly good dragon-saliva ink... until... a year ago today. I didn't think people really ever needed advice on how to conduct themselves with regard to affairs of the heart – isn't it the most natural thing? Now though, I think I might be the one who needs your advice the most.

Like I mentioned earlier, love is supposed to be the most natural thing; but what should I do if the one I love thinks that my feelings for him are unnatural? He tells me that constantly and while such words would extinguish emotions in other people, I just feel my love for him consume me more and more, burning me from the inside out. I tried to distract myself and throw myself into other tasks such as raising our daughter and training my subordinates to a froth, but it does not work.

Should I just forget him? I can't seem to make him see me as more than one of the guys, and all my attempts to seduce him have backfired.

Yours sincerely,

Drowning in Love

Dear Drowning-Sweetie:

No matter how discouraged you feel, you should never give up on True Love! Especially since you and your Special Someone have a daughter after only a year – this clearly indicates that your relationship has progressed beyond mere flirtation (what a shame; flirting is so much fun).

Perhaps your beloved is feeling pressured – new parents often have trouble adjusting to the presence of a third person in their relationship. Try including him in your time with your daughter; plan activities that the three of you can do together. If you can get him involved in training your subordinates, so much the better – there are times when even military discipline must take a back seat to True Love! Show him your feminine side, as well. Cultivate an interest in the things he likes.

Above all, do not give up hope! True Love is worth all the work it takes. I know; you wouldn't believe how hard it is to find just the right shade of lipstick...but never mind that. Keep a positive attitude, and good luck!

Love and Kisses,

Her Royal Foxiness, Lady Celi von Spitzweg

Dear Lady Celi:

Oh, how glad I am that you have decided to offer this service! I am greatly in need of your wisdom and advice. I am deeply devoted to a young man who is far above me in every way – so noble! so kind! so handsome! Unfortunately, last year he ACCIDENTALLY became engaged to a whining, jealous, spoiled brat who accuses me of treachery when I get anywhere near him! This interference has been ruining any chance I have of attracting the attention of my beloved! What should I do?

Wallowing in Woe in Blood Pledge Castle

Dear Wallowing:

Oh, don't you think accidental engagements are so romantic? All that overwhelming emotion, coming out in a rush! And really, Wallowing, if the engagement has lasted a year, there must be something to it. If you continue yearning after this young man, despite his apparent disinterest, it won't be long before you are the one who will be accused of interfering!

I do sympathize with your situation, Wallowing dear, but engagement or not, if you haven't managed to attract your beloved's attention after an entire year, it is high time you moved on. There are lots of good fish in the sea, and surely you can find someone else if you put your mind to it. Perhaps an older man – someone who has had time to learn about life, responsibility, and above all, True Love! A sensitive and spirited soul like you needs a rock-hard foundation – a stable man, not a boy you still need to teach. Fortunately, there are lots of them around! Just open up to the possibilities! The unlikeliest person may turn out to be your soul mate!

Love and Kisses,

Her Royal Foxiness, Lady Celi von Spitzweg