"I want them all rounded up and shot!"
To say that Lark- the fourteen year old ruler of the Cyclonian Empire- was upset would have to be the biggest understatement of the year, right after the time the Dark Ace said that Snipe was stupid. At that moment, though, the Dark Ace was less concerned with that honor than the fact that if he didn't calm down his master she might end up doing something...
A crystal flew by his head, crashing into the opposite wall.
...Rash.
"Do you hear me, Dark Ace?" she demanded of him, high-heeled boots clomping on the dark floors of her crystal workshop. Normally the Master did not lose her temper in this manner- the only people who could get a rise out of her were the Storm Hawks, and they were currently on the other side of the Atmos. So what, exactly, was it that had the young girl so upset?
The Dark Ace followed her tempest-like movements throughout the large room, his red eyes never blinking. "I would have to work hard not to hear you, Master."
She shot him a poisonous glare before pointing at the object of her ire- the glowing monitor in the back of the room, resting on top of her crystal station. "Have you even read what filth these people are spreading about me?" she said to him.
"It's fiction. Everyone knows it's not true."
"Half of it is about you, you know," she added in a low, spiteful tone, her chin lowered so that she could look up at him, hoping for some sort of reaction other than the cool indifference than she received.
"Mm. Yes," he said, letting his eyes finally wander about the room. "I've read some of it. Half of it is mindless worship and the other is mindless hate. It's amusing, sometimes. They seem to think a lot of... odd things about me. For instance, Aerrow-"
"With him," she says, almost breathless with disbelief. "They have you with him. With him. Sexually. Don't tell me you haven't gone to the M-rated section, I know you have! All of it is you and Aerrow or Aerrow and Piper, Aerrow and Piper and you and Aerrow and-" her next words were lost in a shudder of disgust. "My body doesn't even bend that way half the time!"
Though he didn't say anything at first, the man's lips peeled back in a smile that showed all his teeth. Then he said: "Know that for a fact, do we?"
Lark decided to ignore that. "If I ever get my hands on the one who wrote me and Repton..." she murmured to herself, fists clenching periodically.
"Such is the nature of the internet, my liege. Anonymity makes foolish creatures out of bored teenaged girls, and those seem to be the primary authors of this smut." He waved with one hand at the monitor. "You should be flattered, though."
"Flattered?"
"Yes." He smiled at her again, though the smile was considerably kinder this time. "It means they like you. Otherwise you wouldn't show up at all or they'd just kill you off early or have me rape you-"
Lark clapped her hands over her ears, shouting, "Enough! Enough!"
"I'm only saying."
"Do I look like I give a damn as to whether or not I have a fanbase amongst thirteen year old girls?!"
"Well.." He paused. "They're amusing. I love all the theories about us, especially." He began to list them off, holding up a finger for each one. "We're siblings. We're lovers despite the fifteen year age gap. We're married. I'm a robot. You're a ghost. You're a clone. You were born from a weird egg and you're actually around four years old. You have schizophrenia." He was beginning to run out of fingers so he just started droning, voice sardonic and amused. "I'm a sadist. You're a sadist. We're sadists, together. You're in love with four of the seven Storm Hawks. I'm in love with four of the seven Storm Hawks. I'm Aerrow's father. And for some reason there is a tank load of fictions where everyone in the Atmos appears to be homosexual."
"I know, right?"
"It's disturbing, yet it's so ludicrous it makes me laugh."
Sighing, the Master waved one hand behind her. A red cloud of energy appeared, forming a chair where she gracefully sank down, chin in her hands. "...There is a great deal about Aerrow, too. Aerrow and Piper."
His eyebrows waggled. "Jealous, O Sapphic Queen? You and Piper is just about as popular as Aerrow and I."
Despite her earlier rage, she had cooled down some. Yet still, it was clear that the girl was deeply upset about all this. "How can you joke about this?"
The Dark Ace could only shrug. "What else are you going to do?
"It's the Internet."