Like So Many Red Strings: Snape lay dying. His only regret being that he had betrayed his only love, but soon he would be with her. His Lily. Yet, in death, Snape finds that he will have to do a whole lot more than die to find her. He may even have to go to another world.
Disclaimer: If only, if only the plot bunny sings.
Image: Snape and Lily by Sally-Avernier.
…
My heart does part this earthly domain.
Straining, failing, draining,
Pulling at strings,
So does this heart hope to meet you again.
…
He was going to die.
He was finally going to die.
He could feel his limbs going numb, his heart hammering like a frightened little thing, and the feel of warm blood from where Nagini had bitten him. Part of him wanted to fight, wanted to grasp desperately at one of the potions in in his robe, but he knew none of them would save him. It would just drag out the struggle, and if he did live, what then?
Imprisonment by the unlikely victors surrounded by Dementors until the end of his days, or to be hunted down by Voldemort and finished off.
Neither were particularly tempting.
And he was tired. So tired of the constant struggle, his two lives always fighting against each other like caged dogs, but at least he had made amends. He had done his best to protect her boy, and now he was ready to face her in the after world.
He was ready to face Lily.
Yet, when he was ready to let it be the end, of course Potter had to come around. That boy, just like his father, but he had Lily's eyes. Her pools of forever green. Why couldn't he have looked more like his mother? But at least the boy wasn't dead. At least her son wasn't dead. Thus, Snape knew was keeping his promise to her.
The boy would live.
It was also time to show his true loyalties. It was time to show the man that was buried under so many lies and half-truths and secrets. He would show that he had always been loyal to, not Dumbledore, but Lily. Always his Lily.
For his Lily.
At that moment, the boy babbling something as the world started to fade, he released the memories he had always held so close as a single tear. And for a moment he wanted to struggle on, to remember Lily over and over and over again. That way he could relive each moment he had with her in stunning clarity.
Because …
What if she wasn't waiting for him?
What if she didn't want to see him?
What if she wasn't allowed to be near his putrid soul?
And so Snape was filled with fear in his last few moments, not because he was dying, he was far too tired for that, but because she might not be there to greet him. Lily, the only one he had truly loved.
…
Snape found himself sitting up, his hands grasping for his neck. He expected to feel blood pooling down his chest, downdowndown and away from him and his corrupt soul, fleeing from him.
There was no blood though. No sting of pain. In fact, he couldn't feel much of anything except a feeling of … relief.
Patting himself down once more, Snape finally decided to look around and immediately knew why he couldn't find a wound. It was white here, all around, stretching on forever as clean fog. He was currently situated in a crook near a white river, a tree flowering above his head. It was where Lily had first shown her magic to him. It was a peaceful memory, full of kinship and promise for better days.
He smiled bitterly at the thought. So this was death … and it seemed he was still alone.
He gripped something in his hand tighter.
He wanted to weep. Perhaps this was his punishment, to be alone in this place, to always be reminded of her.
Despite himself, Snape allowed a choked noise to escape him, his free hand coming up around his neck as if he wanted to hold the noise in. Here he had had a life of suffering, so much suffering, and he died to suffer on for he knew he was alone here. Burying his head into his knees, the man softly choked, asking himself, "Wasn't death supposed to be my release? Where is Lily?"
"Now, now. None of that. We have things to discuss first," suddenly answered a voice from above.
Snape started at the deep, calm voice, tones so rich and old it seemed like a voice that should belong more to a mountain than a man. Quickly looking up, Snape realized that it certainly didn't belong to a man. He would know that grim visage anywhere with its wispy black robes, hooded head and boney hands at nearly seven feet tall.
This was Death.
He choked out a short yelp, falling backwards, fear crawling up his spine. He wanted to run, to kick out, scream and allow instinctive fear to own him, but another part knew there was no point in running. This was Death's domain and this was the end. This is where all ends are placed … before that robe figure's feet to be judged.
He hoped his judgment was swift.
"There is no time for weeping my dear wizard. I have a boy I need to meet in the woods in a few moments anyway. Regardless, it doesn't suit you. And in all honestly, who else did you expect to see when you died?" said Death, his great robes billowing slightly as he started down the incline to where Snape was situated.
Said wizard, trying to reclaim his usually calm visage for he felt even Death shouldn't be allowed to see his tears, tried to push down his fear and gripped the thing in his left hand tighter. His words were slightly choked, but he felt they held the strength he needed not to cower from this great being, "I was expecting someone else."
Stalling, suddenly looking at his skeletal hand, the tall figure shifted away for a moment as if thinking, "Ah yes, I generally don't show my true form to many when they die. I always pick something familiar for them. It is rare to see my real form, but if it would set you at ease. How about something comforting for you. It is not my intent to frighten you. It is merely my nature."
Suddenly, the black robes were billowing everywhere as if a great wind had come from the ground, the towering figure covered in tumbling fabric, which hid his skeletal hands and grinning jaw. Then, as quickly as it had happened, a much smaller form was there, black robes suddenly flowing into a dress and red curls.
For a moment Snape almost released the thing he tightly gripped in his left hand, but somehow he held on because he knew it wasn't really her. He whispered her name none the less, "Lily?"
He then looked away, feeling tears gather in his eyes as he repeated a mantra in his head. It wasn't her. It wasn't her. It wasn't her. She looked like she had right before she married Potter. She had been so beautiful then and more importantly, alive.
But this wasn't her.
Death-Lily stood there a moment, looking at him with a calm smile. Finally, when he didn't rush to greet her, she sat down next to the potions master. Her red curls quickly swirled all around them both as she then placed her head on the wizard's shoulder. Snape, a hand now over his mouth, silenced his sobs as his tears fell freely and silently.
It wasn't her, but this figure even smelled like the real Lily. At that realization, a small sob finally escaped Snape.
And so they sat there for what felt like an eternity until Death finally sighed as sat up straight, taking a petite hand to push Severus' hair behind one ear. It was a kind gesture and if it had been from the real Lily, it would have been a treasured memory. Instead, another sob escaped the usually strong man, his sorrow now like a faucet that he could not shut off.
So this was Death? He wondered if this was hell?
The figure beside him sighed at the sobbing noise and softly spoke in a stolen voice, "Do not think I do this out of cruelty, Severus. I was trying to be as gentle as possible. I was hoping that you would let go when you would see the visage of Lily and then I could claim your soul fully. It won't hurt. The pain is done. Just let go and I promise that I will personally make sure your soul is reborn into a nice family. It will be a good life this time around."
Laugh-sobbing, Snape removed his hand from his mouth and looked at the figure next to him, his words bitter, "And I suppose in a bit of irony, I would probably be reborn as Harry Potter's son."
Death merely gave a ghost of a smile and said nothing.
It was coy enough that Snape actually physically drew back from the other, disgusted, "No. I refuse. I want to spend the afterlife with Lily. Not be reborn to that … boy." Severus actually cringed at the thought. "I suppose he would probably name me something ridiculous like James Severus Potter or Sirius Severus Potter."
Again, Death smiled.
"No. I want to be with Lily. I lived a life of regret and servitude and lies to make amends to her. I should at least be given a moment to be with the real her. I … loved her,"
Smile fading slightly on the stolen face, Death softly said, "Sometimes when you love something … you have to let it go, Severus. It's time to let her go."
Anger sweeping over him, sick of this stolen visage, Snape was suddenly to his feet, his left arm coming forward to point at the other as he bit out, "What would you know of lov-"
His words caught in his throat though as something tugged in his grasp. His words completely dying as he saw what he had been grasping this whole time, what Death had been telling him to let go of. It wasn't life. He was ready to die. It was this red string he was grasping. It was wrapped twice around his hand, a knot coming undone from his pinky finger. His death had loosened it he supposed and his grim determination was the only reason he was still unknowingly grasping it. It was his red string of fate and he knew it belonged to Lily's soul.
And he had almost let it go.
Death sighed deeply when he noticed Severus had finally acknowledged the string, especially when the dark man grasped the string even tighter and fell back to his knees, a shocked look on his face. So … he knew what it was and that he had almost let her go. Just wonderful.
"I know more of love than you know, Severus," said Death in a melancholy tone, his real voice returning. "Love is what has set me on this course to be what I am. For it was my love of humanity and my sorrow that they must die alone that I became what I am. I meet every soul as it passes, wizards and muggles alike, to make sure they are not alone before the next world. I answer their questions; I comfort them with the visage of the ones they love; and I dissuade their fears for I love them all … just as I love you. Please, don't make this anymore difficult then it has to be."
Snape still wasn't looking at him. In fact, the wizard now had both of his hands wrapped around the string, his gaze never leaving the little red thing.
Pursing his lips, his visage of Lily still held even if his voice was not, Death whispered in soft words, "I presume you know what that is, but you must let it go Severus. That string of fate was for a life that has ended for both of you. It has lost its knot. That fate has been and passed, especially since she gave all her magic, her love, to spare her son when she died. Her soul no longer contains magic like yours. Her's … will be born elsewhere."
Still unable to look away, Snape finally choked out, "But she was with James. She chose James. Yet, I have one. I have a string connected to her."
"Had," corrected Death sternly. "And it is not so uncommon to have more than one string for there are many types of love. So, yes, she loved you. In another fate Harry might have been your son … but with greasier hair."
Snape glared at that, but Death continued.
"Regardless, you must let it go. That time is gone. Its time to rest. To slowly remember and release each memory while you become something else," said Death, a hand slowly placing itself on the man's shoulder, forcing the wizard to look into fake Lily's eyes.
Glancing up at Death, still grasping the string, Snape asked, "And what if I was to follow this? What if I was to go to her, to be with her?"
Death, frowned, the atmosphere suddenly turning almost a gray color, "You will not be doing that Severus. For one, I will repeat, your soul still has magic clinging to it. The world she has been reborn to, may have a different magic, or no magic at all. Your soul wouldn't belong there, it would attracted unworldly things. And then there is a question of time. She has been dead over a decade. Time passes differently for each world. In one, it could be three years, another she could be a grandmother with twelve grandchildren. How would you love her then? But mostly, you don't even know her name, Severus."
Confused, unable to stall his tongue, the dark wizard had to ask, "Name? Why would I have to know her name? Its Lily."
Sighing, folding petite hands into his lap, Death spoke frankly, "Some souls, soul mates if you will, follow each other through death and space. When they die, they are allowed to say the name of the one they loved, and if they are correct, they may follow them on. Some souls, or soul-mates, have followed each other through a thousand lives."
Hope filled Snape's eyes, his voice almost begging, "Then let me be born there. I don't care where or how old she is."
Frowning hard, Death shook his head, "There is a price for failure, Snape. You're magic, your memories. The Death of that realm will take you. Not me. And they wouldn't know how to deal with your magic. You may cease to be entirely. So get this foolishness out of your head and let me pass you on. Let go of the string."
Snape frowned, his soul torn. Part of him wanted to rest, to lay away his memories and be something new, but he never wanted to stop thinking of her, dreaming of her. A loss of self was worth love, wasn't it? Looking back down at the string, tugging it slightly he looked back at Death, the darkening form now glaring.
"Don't you dare tug on that string."
Severus tugged on it again, feeling a tug back. She was right on the other end.
"Snape. Stop it now. Albus Severus Potter needs a soul and I hand picked yours. You will accept that life gracefully. It is your fate," almost barked Death, the form now raising to its feet and glowering down at the other as it started to look more and more like Death and less and less like Lily.
Looking up, mind decided on a simple act of defiance, Snape stated, "I have other fates. This one is already mine."
And with that he tugged the string, feeling it suddenly pull and tug him his soul from that place, Lily-Death calling after him, screaming, "You may never find her! You may never find her name! Snape, come back!"
But was done. He was gone.
And with that, Snape opened his eyes.
XXX
Paw07: So this is basically the trump card for all crossovers. It could be a beginning chapter to almost any type of crossover if you ask me. Honestly, I was leaning more towards Naruto with this honestly. Unfortunately, I don't have time for that so I decided it would at least make a nice one-shot for things to come.