Too Good To Be True

By NocturneD

note: Sometimes there are things we don't want to know after we find out about them.

ooo

It was another day in Ponyville. Peaceful. Quiet. Merry. The mane six have all met up at the library as the purple unicorn bookworm wanted to show her friends a new spell she mastered. Something complicated for a simple unicorn to try. But not too much for the faithful student of Princess Celestia.

"Really Twilight what's this thing you wanted to show us?" The cyan pegasi frowned. "I'm missing nap time."

"Cool yur jets Rainbow Dash." The country earth pony Apple Jack eased her friend's temper down. She looked back at Twilight. "Go ahead sugar cube."

"Thank you Apple Jack." Twilight smiled. "Before I start. Did every pony bring some hair from their family? Like from a hairbrush or just pluck it from their head?"

The friends nodded. Rarity frowned, "Once you ask Sweet Belle for something she wants in on whatever is going on. But she let me comb her hair and I got a few strands." The white unicorn levitated a hair brush in front of herself. "But Twilight what is the use for hair?"

Twilight smiled, "I was just getting to that Rarity. If you allow me the brush and a strand of your own hair."

Rarity heaved as she could not imagine taking one piece off her lovely mane. But for a friend she complied. She winced, "Ow... Well here you go darling."

Twilight continued to smile, "Thank you Rarity." She levitated the two different pieces of hair to her tree trunk table top. "You are all familiar with paternity tests right?"

"Yeah." Dash nodded her head.

"Ofcourse darling." Rarity smiled.

"I know from watching Maury Povich." Pinkie giggled. "It's funny when he tells the stallion he's not the daddy and they jump around all happy like its a party."

"Oh yeah those are hilarious." Dash chuckled.

"Girls." Twilight frowned.

"Sorry." Rainbow and Pinkie apologized sadly.

"As I was saying before. Paternity tests are what help determine the exact match in DNA." Twilight explained. "To prove the link between parent and child or siblings." She levitated the hairs she got from Rarity and Sweetie Belle. "As you'll see here. This strand of hair belongs to Rarity. The other Sweetie Belle. We're going to see if they are really sisters."

"A bit obvious isn't it Twilight?" Rarity smirked. Then let her eyes wander left then right.

Twilight demonstrated a simple test. Still the strands levitate in the air. The purple unicorn enchanted the words she took weeks to learn to perfection and used the right amount of magic. Soon the strands are encased in a magic bubble. Each. Soon the two bubbles started to levitate on their own.

"Now for this. Watch carefully. There will be a link between the two bubbles. If the bubbles and link turn green it shows that they are related by sibling blood. If it turns red then they are not. Blue, half sibling. Light yellow cousins, dark yellow somewhat related. Light purple, parent to child. Dark purple, grandparent to grandchild. Reddish purple aunt/uncle to child." Twilight explained. "I will now perform that part." Her horn sparkled. Rarity watched nervously while the others watched on.

As expected. The bubbles and link turned a glowing green. Rarity sighed in relief while the others were amazed. Apple Jack was asked to go next. She gathered some strands of hair from her brother Big Mac, her baby sister Apple Bloom and her granny Smith. As expected, both links and bubbles turn green. For granny Smith it turned a dark purple. Apple Jack was satisfied with the results. Pinkie Pie brought her own set of hair from the Cake family, as expected the bubbles and links turned red. Fluttershy did not bring any hair from her family, nor did Rainbow Dash. But just for fun they plucked their own hair and gave them to Twilight. It came out also red.

Twilight was happy with the results. "Wow. That worked better than I thought."

"Hey Twilight. Can we see you try it with your family?" Pinkie bounced.

"Yeah I'd like to see that too." Apple Jack smirked.

Twilight giggled, "Alright guys. But first I want to share the hair of princess Celestia, Luna and Cadence."

"Oh that is juicy." Rarity giggled.

With that Twilight did the spell again. First she tried Luna and Celestia, definite green. Next was Cadence with the two of them as it glowed a purple reddish color. The girls were satisfied. But still egged Twilight on to do her own family. She pulled out the sample hairs from her parents and brother Shining Armor. First her parents, no surprise a light purple. For her brother a green color.

"There you go girls." Twilight smiled, "A perfect example of the DNA magic test."

"Oh let's mix and match!" Pinkie giggled.

"Yah!" Dash through her hoof into the air.

"Oh come on girls we all know they're going to be red." Twilight smiled.

"Well darling you never know." Rarity smiled.

And so they did for fun and as expected they turned out all red. Though some of the girls were disappointed that they were not related in some way. Though it was wishful thinking. Twilight was about to put the samples back away in a safe place.

"Well that was a bit disappointing." Pinkie frowned.

"I know. Would have been awesome if we were that close." Dash crossed her arms.

"But we're close either way." Rarity smiled. They all hugged each other.

"I know girls. It would have been fun too. Almost like we would be sisters." Twilight giggled. "Makes me wish that Cadence was my big sister."

"That would have been great." Fluttershy said gently.

"I know. Would have been so great." Twilight wandered back to the tree trunk table. She was so smug about the thought as she raised Cadence's hair sample with her own and performed the spell again. "She made an awesome big sister. We would play board games. Play on the swing. Sing songs." Her eyes remained closed.

"Hey Twilight. The color red means your not related right?" Dash asked.

Twilight giggled with her eyes looking away, "Of course."

"Well... Sugar Cube. You might be doing the test wrong right now." Apple Jack brought up.

"No. I'm pretty accurate with this." Twilight giggled again. "I can't wait to show Princess Celestia this."

"Uh... Might want to hold off on that for awhile then Twilight." Dash frowned.

"Oh don't be silly Rainbow Dash. Princess Celestia would be pleased with the results." The purple unicorn then looked at her friends who had awkward faces put on. "What's wrong?"

Apple Jack whistled while looking else. Rarity started looking at her hoofs feverishly. Fluttershy started rubbing her hoof into the hardwood floor. Rainbow Dash had her mouth open like she seen something gross. Pinkie Pie just... Well she just sat there smiling at the glowing bubbles.

Twilight then turned her head to find the bubbles and link glowing... blue...

"Okay girls which one of you messed with the spell?" Twilight chuckled. No one of them answered, "Come on girls I won't be mad."

They did not answer.

"Girls... come on this is pretty mean." She asked again.

The girls kept silent. Looking at each other in worry and a bit of surprise.

"Okay then." Twilight frowned. "I'll just do the test again just to prove you might have done something to it." Within a few short seconds she re-did the test. "And... TADA!" She raised her arms, "There you go. Cadence and I are not related..." But still the bubbles and link glowed blue. She looked down. "...There has to be something wrong. Maybe her hair brushed up against mine or something..." She pulled out another sample of Cadence's hair and plucked her own. She did the test again and...

Twilight's face turned from surprised... to disbelief... to disgusted.

"Oh... my... Celestia..." Twilight said out loud. Next she wanted to hurl. "We're half sisters... And she's married to my brother..."

The girls kept silent.

"Oh no. no. no. NO!" She flipped all of her equipment off the table and pacing back and forth freaking out. "I know I wanted her to my sister... WHEN I WAS YOUNGER!"

The girls looked at each other.

"Why! Oh my they did the nasty on their wedding night!" Twilight shouted as her eyes bulged.

"Now Twilight... maybe its one of those things that was better left off alone." Rarity put on her poker face.

"I can't look at those two kissing!" Twilight shouted then went back to moaning.

"Come on Twilight maybe their kids won't turn out so... Never mind statement retracted." Rainbow Dash frowned.

Twilight paced back and forth while her hair is messed up. Her crazy grin returned. "Well. Well. Let's look at the pros and cons. Pro I'm related to princess Celestia... in some way." She turned around. "Con. Those two will have mentally challenged alicorn kids." She turned around again, "Pro. I get to use the royal library without being told I'm not old enough to check out certain books." Again she turned, "Con. This gets out and the Sparkle family is seen as a bunch of inbreed freaks."

The girls looked at each other again.

"Pro. I get the use the royal carriage whenever I want." She frowned, "Con... I get sick every time I look at those two together. There are fliers still left up from the royal wedding. Pictures everywhere. Every pony knows about it... GAH!"

Twilight started to feel woozy. "Girls... I think I need to lay down for now."

That night. Twilight took a long cold shower. Her friends promised not to say anything to anypony about this. She debated herself if she should tell her brother or not. What was worse, she ran the test over and over again and found out something even more shocking. Her own father... Cadence's father... There had to have been an explaination... Somewhere. Something. Maybe he didn't know. She cried and wanted to throw up.

ooo

Note: Well everyone. Yes it another weird story that probably did not even need to be told but I did anyway. I just love ruining happy endings. Will this continue? I have no idea. Depends. Look at this anyway you want to. But honestly some of you are chuckling.

I would like to point out that there was one instance that this sort of thing did happen where two twins were separated at birth, grew up, lived different lives and met each other. And... got married without knowing they're relation to each other. They got divorced but how do you live with yourself after that?

One more note to say. Yes I was asked if I dislike the whole Shining Armor x Cadence pairing. The answer is. Yes and No. I got no problem with the characters, its just that they feel hollow and so much could have been done with them during the whole series and their whole relationship is hollow. So in short, I like having fun with them that Hasbro/Studio B never gave us. Crude. Yes. But that's my style. I like them but yet I don't care for them. Call it a love hate thing going on. But Studio B was given the cards they were dealt with. Hope that answers any ones question.