Click...click...click
"Shit."
Yet another night in a cramped hotel room, no cure for this insomnia, and a broken lighter. This is getting excessively annoying. I sigh and spit out the long-winded suicide stick from my mouth, and recall the day I got addicted to this poison.
I used to scoff with annoyance at my master for smoking outside the temple, tossing aside yet another rule of self-discipline his holiness was supposed to display, though I suppose that the 'younger me' would show just as much disdain towards the man he has...I have become. A monk, a Sanzo, with the control of an addict. Smoking, drinking, cursing, killing...just like everyone else.
Another sigh as I stare through the glass of the room's window and wonder 'What good is this window if it's nailed shut?' They may as well have saved themselves the trouble of having to construct the stupid thing in the first place. Nailed shut for robbers I bet.
"Hn."
My eyes, of their own accord, decide to take a tour of this bleak room I've been imprisoned in for the night. There is a crack that runs down the wall. The wall's color matches the window...a sickening yellowish tinge that suggests rust is in play. No sign of metal. Not rust; filth. I wonder if this has ever been cleaned? Unlikely.
Legs to my chest, I rest my head upon them, cursing the day I started smoking. Better yet, cursing the cause that started my smoking; cursing the nightmares that wouldn't subside; cursing the memories that kept resurfacing.
A growl of absolute exasperation escapes me. I only half-recognize it as mine as I grab the pack of cigarettes leaving the bleak room, the disgusting walls, and the useless window. I am determined to find a lighter, or shoot something. Anything to silence the frustration that keeps me teetering upon the edge of insanity.
I know I'm avoiding my actual problems! I know I'm too cowardly to handle one night in my own mind! I've accepted it. I've moved past it.
I NEED A SMOKE, DAMN IT!
The receding footsteps of the one-track minded addict monk resound...
The door creaks open and slams shut...
All else is nothing.
Author's Note: This was originally posted in 2008. It was intended to be a multi-chapter story. It might remain a one-shot. I took a look at it today and realized I hated the way it was worded and tweaked it a little. I might do the same to all my stories. I might write more. I'm unsure. I just needed to fix this. To all those who are still interested in my stories...there may be hope yet. Hn.