Ways to Annoy Ratchet
Lol! Jazz made me post this. Ratchet's gonna kill me...
1: Call him Dr. Hatchet or
Dr. Peppermint Stick
(He had this look on his face.)
(The I-Have-Something-Up-
My-Ass look)
(It was priceless!)
2: When your in the Med Bay (preferably for a physical) and you and him are alone while he's doing work that needs complete silence, start screaming RAPE! RAPE!
(He just happened to be digging in a cabinet)
(They all came running in with their guns out and Ratchet got his head stuck)
3: Put Galloway on his list of body physicals
(He glitched and ran into the Rec Room with a pink tutu on and Annabelle's princess wand)
(Blackmail!)
4: Throw wrenches at him
5: Tell Ironhide he likes staring at his aft ALL DAY LONG
(He wouldn't go to the Med Bay for a week)
(Even when his arm fell of during training)
6: Make him watch the tape from the ring. Then call him and say in a creepy voice "Seven days"
(I didn't know mechs could scream that loud)
(or that high)
7: Make Cybertronian coffee or weed
(Need I say more?)
(The weed was funnier...)
8: Stare at him for a long time and when he asks what you're looking at start cracking up. Repeat multiple times.
(He glitched again)
9: Go to another doctor
(He will pout ALL day)
10: Ask him where babies come from. Then start telling everyone about the "awesome facts" he gave you.
(He was so mad)
(Everyone started asking him that)
(Tell me, when he glitches who fixes him?)
11: Poke him in the eye
(He hates that for some reason!)
12: Tell him about Santa
(He was up all night with his gun pointed at the fireplace)
13: Program him to act like Gir for a day.
(If you value your life, stop at fifteen minutes)
(He almost squashed me at thirty)
(Ahh! Ltaotsgokglgdhp)
14: If your on a berth in the Med Bay and he walks by, slap his aft.
(The berths are tall)
15: When he asks why you did that say "If you don't want it slapped don't shake it." Wink and then run!
16: If he catches you, pretend he's choking you...and yell RAPE! again.
17: Tell Optimus that he has pictures of him all over his room, that he kisses passionately.
18: Stun gun him and ask him if it was tingly.
19: Cry if he yells at you.
20: Climb up on him and yell BOO!
21: If after #16 He tells Optimus that you smacked his aft. Cry and say that you didn't and that he's a perv.
Optional: Don't die.
Ha! Oh... Hey, uh, Ratchet. Um, HEY PUT THAT WRENCH DOWN! AHH! RAPE! RAPE! JAZZ! DON'T YOU DARE TAKE A PICTURE!
Jazz: Hehehehe... R&R BEYOCH!