Chapter 1: Voices

"I realize that I live on the bubble of insanity. I feel the weight of human suffering, loneliness and despair on me all the time. It's not getting easier; if anything, it's always right on the edge of my skin." ~ Erwin McManus

…

Her knuckles were pure white from the sheer force that was gripping tightly to the hospital bed. She was positioned sitting up, eyes wide in shock. A broken screamed mangled its way out of her bloodied lips. All she felt was pain, for a long moment after her scream she was completely silent. Bandage covered finger tips pulled at the covers on her, feeling as if she was being suffocated and desperately trying to pry them away from her body. Until nothing, her head fell forward and she became very still.

Her nurse carefully pushed her body against the bed. The girl's guest looked over with an inquisitive look. "Was that really necessary, love?" His light English accent pushed at his tongue, and the nurse nodded her head seriously.

"Yes sir, I wouldn't want her to hurt herself or you." The nurse explained, he looked seemingly unimpressed by her answer.

"I will assure you love, I am well qualified to handle her and myself." His smug tone about irritated the nurse. She shook her head before excusing herself politely telling him to alert the staff if he needed any assistance.

The man took a seat next to the bed, he glanced over at her now peaceful face and sighed. He could hear her mumbles now, the mild sedative already working its way out of her system. Ten minutes past before her eyes fluttered open. Turning her head she looked at him, her vision still foggy. "Is she gone?" He chuckled at her, her groggy tone plus the strain on her vocal cords made a harsh sound as she spoke.

"Your nurse? She left some fifteen minutes ago sweetheart." She turned her head back to look at the ceiling.

"Is it true? Are my parents really dead?" The man knew she would ask this, which was the reason for her earlier fit.

"They drowned in a car accident." He watched as her hand gripped tightly around the fabric of the sheets. His curious gaze lingered on her.

"I can't stay here, you need to make them release me Nik." Her voice was pleading as she turned her head to look out the window of the psychiatric ward of the Richman rehabilitation center. The man smirked, he stood.

"I'd thought you'd never ask." With those words he left the room. Leaving the woman alone, to her thoughts.

…

Coming home after being in a psych ward was like tasting a lemon for the first time. Unsure of if you enjoyed the taste or hated it. Sitting in the front seat of the car loaned to her by Nik, she remained there still. Her hands clenched tightly around the steering wheel but having been parked for the last twenty minutes had made them stiff. Taking one last deep breath the young woman removed her hands from the wheel and then unbuckled her seatbelt. Slowly gathering her courage, she opened the door of the car and got out. With another deep breath she took a step towards the familiar house.

After another internal debate she was across the street and now headed up the steps to the front porch. She hadn't told them about her release or coming home. So she knew they'd be surprised. Especially her little sister Elena. When they were younger, everyone use to say they looked just like twins and before she spiraled into the depths of darkness they had been close. But now she knew the truth, her and her sister would never be close again. Because if having to watch someone slip into madness was one thing, but actually diving down into it was another.

She brought her right hand up to the door before knocking. From the inside of the house, she heard someone call out just one minute. Suddenly she was met by a male with a much squared jaw. Looking away from him she looked down. "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought… The Gilberts, do they still live here." The man gave her a concerned look. From behind him she heard a commotion, soon she was met by the olive toned face of her younger sister.

"Charlotte?" She tugged nervously on her jumper before offering a small smile.

"Hey, Elena." The younger moved from behind her boyfriend as she stepped onto the porch to pull her older sister into a tight embrace.

"Why didn't you tell us you were coming home?" Elena questioned after letting go of her sister.

"I wanted to surprise you. Besides after what happened I didn't want to worry you. How are you? I heard about our parents." Charlotte questioned as Elena lead her into the front parlor. Elena paused at the question. Trying to figure out the best way to put it, she wanted to be careful around Charlotte. Something about the release didn't seem right.

"Elena, I'm going to go." The mysterious man spoke for the first time since she had opened the door. Charlotte gave him another curious glance but this time Elena noticed.

"Lottie, this is Stefan Salvatore. He's my boyfriend." A look of realazation crossed her face but she hid it well. Instead she offered him an awkward smile before looking over at Elena.

"Would it be alright if we caught up later, I'm still exhausted from driving?" Charlotte spoke, her tone sounded innocent. It reminded Elena of when everything started with her.

"Sure that's fine, we haven't touched your room since you left so everything should still be in order." Charlotte smiled softly before nodding her head and heading upstairs.

….

She studied her reflection in the mirror after washing her face. Elena really did look similar too her, the only differences being skin tone where Elena had nicely tanned skin Charlotte did not; another thing was their hair, Elena's while straight was also several tones lighter than hers seeing as Charlotte had dark ebony hair. Lastly, the only thing to which people could ever tell them apart was by their eyes. Her young sister held soft caring doe like brown eyes. Taking breath she then studied her own eyes now in the mirror, they sometimes frightened her. The sky blue orbs held so much in them, so many unwanted memories and mostly a discomforting amount of pain. Charlotte turned her head from the girl who looked back at her in the mirror, and quickly turned left the bathroom.

There was a noise that brought her from the spiraling thoughts. She hurried around her room trying to find the source of the annoying sound. After a moment of digging she found the culprit to be the alarm on her phone, telling her to take her medicine. Eyes froze for a moment as she tried to recall where she put the pill container. Reminding herself to take a deep breath she quickly reached for the messenger bag that had been thrown hazardable across the bed. Inside the zipped middle pocket she found it.

Dropping two small pills in her hand from the container popped them in her mouth, before dry swallowing. Charlotte took another deep breath then decided to examine her room. It still looked the same with the three light lavender walls and queen box bed pushed against the only gray wall in the room. The walls themselves were bare of any pictures or trinkets, and she decided then that was going to change. Her old dresser was next to the door and the mirror attached to it was still covered by a black sheet; that would probably remain there. Everything else was exactly how she remembered it, down to the clean clothes still folded in her hamper.

"Mom was the only one who came in here." Charlotte jumped, the voice of her younger brother startling her. She held her hand over her heart as she gave him an annoyed look.

"You startled me, next time make some noise or something." She snapped a little at him, before frowning slightly and sent him an apologetic look.

"Sorry, Elena called me and let me know you were home." Charlotte smiled at him then.

"It's fine, just... um... Be louder next time. What were you saying about mom?" She found herself questioning before taking a seat on the bed and motioning for him to join her. Jeremy took a seat next to his eldest sister examining her just as she had been doing.

"Mom was the only who came up here after you were committed. I think she liked the feel of being close to you or something. And now obviously I know she was keeping your room clean." Jeremy told her softly, the last part of the sentence held a playful tone. Charlotte took that piece of information in, filing it away for later. She nodded her head in acknowledgement of what he was saying, before her mind wondered.

Jeremy glanced over and saw her half vacant expression and sighed, he light touched her shoulder. She snapped out of her daze before looking over at him with another apologetic look. "Sorry, it's still a little easy to get lost." Charlotte told him honestly, by the look he gave her she knew he understood.

"I'm about to head to grille, do you want to come?" Jeremy asked as he stood. Smiling she nodded her head.

"I'd like that Jere. Here you can drive." She threw her keys at him, he caught them easily before walking out of the room.

….

Charlotte chewed on her lip nervously while walking into the Grille. She told Jeremy she needed a moment before she was going to come in, so he was already inside. Jeremy saw her from his position at the pool table, and waved her over. It was the sound of her phone ringing that stopped her in her tracks, she hurriedly pulled it out of her pocket before holding it up to her brother to let him know. He shook his head while watching her fumbled awkwardly with the phone.

"Hello? Nik, is that you?" She questioned while stepping out in the cool autumn air. His chuckle on the other end caused her eyes to roll.

"It's me, did you get settled sweetheart?" His smooth voice lingered in her ears and she found herself smiling fondly.

"So far, so good. Everything, is going how it's supposed too." She told him while tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Fantastic sweetheart, I need you to do something for me." Leaning against the side of the grill she took another deep breath.

"Anything, what do you need Nik?" Her voice was soft as she asked him the question.

"I need you to meet me in Richman Monday, at the usual." Charlotte mumbled a quick reply before telling him she had to go. Jeremy was approaching her, giving her a questioning look.

"Everything okay?" She smiled reassuringly at her brother.

"Yah everything's fine. That was just Nick, he was making sure I made home alright." Her brother raised his brow.

"Wasn't that the name of your friend from your college art class?" She offered her brother a sly smile.

"Perhaps, when he heard about what happened. He… um... came to visit me while I was in Richman. We're still good friends." She told him honestly, although there was perhaps more to the story than she was letting on.

….

By the time Monday had come around Charlotte was settling nicely back in Mystic Falls. To say her family was surprise she was already travelling to Richman so soon was an understatement. Elena who was still weary of her presence in Mystic Falls seemed to always be lingering near, perhaps to see if she'd snap. Their Aunt Jenna who had custody over Elena and Jeremy, was very careful about well everything. Only Jeremy treated her like he used to, and that was because he was really the only one who noticed how different she was now.

"Are you sure you have to go to Richman? Why can't your friend come down here?" Elena asked for the hundredth time that morning while Charlotte was getting her stuff together. Her younger sister's question was being to sound a lot like whining.

"Lena, I'm going to be fine." Her patients were beginning to run really thin with the teen. Elena looked down.

"Look, I know you don't like it. But I'm a grown woman Elena. And contrary to what you and Jenna think I really am better." Charlotte scolded her sister before swinging her purse over her shoulder and leaving her room.

She was beginning to get frustrated with the way they had been treating her. So what if she was crazy what should it matter to them? Besides it wasn't like she'd snapped at them on the drop of the hat, Charlotte prided herself in knowing she had a better sense of control than that. Buckling her seat belt she leaned back in the driver's seat taking a deep breath. After another deep breath she started the car and pulled away from the curb.

Having to stop half there at a gas station to get gas and to avoid a panic attack Charlotte was back in the vehicle back on her way to meet Nik. It was her phone that began to ring which drew her attention away from the discomforting thoughts. "Hello?" She answered never bothering to check caller I.D as she made a left turn.

"Did you get lost, sweetheart?" It was his teasing tone that first greated her ears. With an eye roll she pulled into a parking space in front of their usual café.

"I'm here now, I um… almost had an attack. So I stopped for a few minutes." She explained, then put her car in park before turning the key. Charlotte listened as he sighed.

"That's fine, just hurry inside. Or else your food will get cold." With a quick reply she hung up her phone and then unbuckled herself. Hurriedly she got out of the vehicle grabbing her messenger bag, keys, and phone before slamming the car door shut. She looked both ways before she crossed the street and scurried into the café.

Inside the café she searched for Nik. After a moment she found him with his back towards the door. Pulling her bag close she walked over to the booth he had acquired and slid in across from him. He offered her a grin, Charlotte smiled back at him. "Sorry, I'm late." She apologized, he shook his head a look of deep contemplation upon his face.

"Don't be. Now tell me about the almost attack." She knew he wasn't really asking, so after taking a deep breath and trying to clear her thoughts she told him. He nodded his head, taking in everything she said. Charlotte explained that as soon as she left her house, she could hear a voice in her head telling her to help him and another telling her to help the doppelganger.

"Well that's unfortunate. I truly had hopped you wouldn't have been bother by her." Charlotte smiled lightly fully understanding his meaning.

"What did you ever do to her?" Nik's smirk made her heart flutter a little.

"I was going to use her sister as the sacrifice but unfortunately she had herself turned before it could happen." Charlotte made an 'oh' face, before glancing out the window.

"You mean that one of the voices is the late sister of Katherine?" His eyes darkened at the mention of the elusive minx, but he nodded his head none the less.

"I told you sweetheart, you're special. It's just unfortunate for you that the two you've been stuck with have such warring opinions of me." His response didn't really answer her question but she knew better than to expect him to say clearly what he meant.

"And the other, she obviously wants me to help you?" Her tone told him she was still confused. Sighed he reached across the table and brushed a strand of dark hair from her face.

"I wouldn't listen to either of them love, you'll need to decide for yourself if you want to trust me." She looked affronted by his response. It was as if his whole reasoning didn't make sense.

"Nik, how am I supposed to do that when I've got two voices screaming inside my head telling me what to do all the damn time?" She demanded as if trying to make him understand what she was dealing with.

"You do what we discussed Charlotte. The plan, it's the only thing that will help you now. Until it's completed keep up with the act." Charlotte leaned back in her seat crossed her arms and gave him a nasty look.

"So the plan is supposed to work when I've got to women from your past in my head and arguing with each other about what I should do. I though you said they would go away." She told him with a pointed look and an accusing tone. He gave her a very assertive look before leaning forward.

"What I told you sweetheart was that it might work, but what was the point of you rotting away in that psych ward when there was actually nothing wrong with you?" He questioned, she gave him a baffled look.

"Nothing wrong?! Nik, I hear the voices of two dead women in my head and they talk to me!" He smirked at her.

"When will you believe me, haven't I already told you what you are?" Her eyes narrowed at her friend.

"And haven't I told you how crazy that is?" She asked, his eyes betrayed amusement with her. He laughed a little at the irony.

"That's crazy? Yet you believe what I told you about myself." He pointed out, she looked down.

"That's different, your special, destined to be. I'm nothing, just a mentally unstable girl from small town Virginia." He all but growled as he looked her in the eyes.

"What you are Charlotte, is more special than anything on this earth. Don't let me ever hear you say you are nothing." The out of character sincerity from him made her feel slightly uncomfortable as she looked away. Finally after a few moments of silence passed a young woman brought over to fresh cups of hot tea. Charlotte drew the cup to her lips carefully watching Nik as he waved the waitress off and picked up his own glass.

"Thank you, Nikluas." She whispered lowly into her cup. He smirked slightly, nodding his head in acknowledgement.

XOXOX

So I know I am supposed to be updating other stories... *cough* I am Death *cough* But I had this idea and couldn't really just leave it. So like all of my ideas I wrote it down. But since I really like this one I figured I might post it and see what you guys have to say about it. Please excuse any typos or misspellings, I am only human:/

I'd be thrilled if you let me know what you think! Leave it a review/comment or shoot me a PM!

Sincerely, LaRae