Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did, I'd most likely get drunk and lose it in a bet...
I can't have nice things...
Warning... KakashiXSasuke... yaoi... Sasuke is like...12
massushiro a phrase, means "clean and white"
There is a strange doctrine of adults that requires annual spring cleaning to concurrently purge the house and body of filthiness. Yet Sasuke Uchiha had lived without an adult for many years, and never saw the need to commence the act of spring cleaning. The great manor of the Uchiha family had systematically fallen to a state of forlorn sadness as consequence.
Kakashi had seen the unkempt gardens, the poor condition of the tiled roof and rice paper walls rotted to the point of collapse. Often, the copy nin witnessed families of crows making nest in the parts of the house that Sasuke was oddly ignorant of. The crows were of particular irritation when shadowing his student, not afraid of a ninja of his skill and often becoming aggressive if he got to close. It was almost as if the young Uchiha had a very unique form of home security.
He couldn't allow his dark-eyed student to suffer in the house as it was, but to hell with anyone thinking he would do it alone.
Kakashi had gone through all the paperwork to submit a special mission anonymously, hoping the authenticity would persuade two other genin to do the work for him. Of coarse, Sasuke will hate having his privacy violated…but to hell with Sasuke…scratch that; to hell with Sasuke's privacy.
The silver haired jonin made a mental note to come up with a more original curse.
Sasuke waited at the usual bridge for his team and a certain copy nin he suspected of following him for little longer than a week. It looked like it would be a calm, uneventful day of simpleminded missions and light training. The dark crows nesting in the nearby trees sang to the clear sky, and even Itachi and Orochimaru seemed in good spirits. Sasuke spied the two super villains a little ways off in the distance giggling like schoolgirls as they braded flowers into one another's hair.
The little Uchiha didn't know why they were in Konohona, but didn't wish to confront the evil men for fear of losing his virginity. He figured they weren't causing any trouble as it was. Still, he was upset about not being the center of either's attention.
Naruto poofed to the overhang of the bridge that usually perched Kakashi. The dark Uchiha stared up in modest concern as he was suddenly struck with the possible event of two ninjas trying to occupy the same space. He pictured a deformed Narushi/ Kakauto that would be spawned as the simple transportation jutsu bent their molecules together.
Naruto quickly brought Sasuke from his twisted thoughts with a friendly rock to the face.
Sasuke, his face red from the sudden impact, couldn't help but scream at Naruto's stupid act. "Why the hell did you do that you little shit?"
Naruto sprang up to his feet as he balanced himself on Kakashi's perch, "It's just a happy rock to cheer you up!"
"Happy?" Sasuke looked down to the fist sized rock at his feet and saw a mischievous happy face drawn on it.
The fuck?
Konohona's Number-One-Knuckle-Headed-Ninja jumped down toward Sasuke to where they were just inches from one another, completely bursting the Uchiha's invisible touch bubble (and his hopes of Kakauto being spawned). The blonde grabbed his arm tightly with both hands as he tugged his taller team mate down with his fox like smile. Sasuke's normally placid features were twisted with confusion at the unaccustomed proximity, but instead of using the 'happy' rock to 'happily' bash Naruto's face in, he resigned himself to find what had the orange ninja so excited.
"So, Sasuke," Naruto started, dropping any honorifics as he pulled Sasuke closer, "Iruka-san told me Kakashi-sensei asked the Hokage for some special assignment! Do you think it has to do with the jutsu Sensei said he would teach us about?"
With one good push and what sounded like 'baka' from the Uchiha, the blonde was stumbling back over the bridge railing and into the river still cold from the early morning. Looking down to see a surly soaked idiot who dared further invade the touch bubble, Sasuke felt his own smirk vanish as Naruto poofed into smoke and a strong kick was dealt to his back. The kick wasn't enough to send Sasuke over, though, and so the taller boy turned and tackled his teammate.
When Kakashi appeared in his usual spot above to bridge, he was quick to notice the rare sounds of laughter among breathless grunts coming from his two students' horseplay. In silence most befitting of a stalker-umm…shinobi- he found himself to be entranced by the sight of childhood play. Such nostalgic moments would be uncommon in the life of a ninja; he himself can count the number of such events on one hand.
Sasuke was pined under Naruto's weight, his arms locked to his sided by the blonde's legs. The orange-clad genin used his position to at first mess the other's dark locks, but now settled with teasing him via spit-drip-torture. Kakashi watched as the so-named prodigy student winced in disgust from the ever lower lugy, with strands of so green grass tangled into his dark hair, and how he squirmed playfully under Naruto.
With a slow, lazy blink to the scene, the Copy-nin alerted his presents with a deliberate cough. Quick as light along polished silver, the two turned their attention toward him, Naruto sucking up his spit just before it fell onto Sasuke's face.
Waiting a moment to be sure he held their interest, Kakashi determined it time for his best excuse ever, one he had been holding on to for days waiting for a moment such as this to use.
"Sorry I'm late, I got lonely and my hand was tired so I had to find a woman of exceptionable ability… quite an exotic one, as I recall she had a-"
"Hentai!" was the chorus of the two interrupting their teacher's perverted explanation.
Naruto waited a second before adding 'liar' to his earlier outbreak.
Kakashi saw Sasuke cast a quick, confuse glance at the blonde before shrugging off the seemingly misplaced comment, the Uchiha assuming Naruto added it forsake of consistence. The truth, however, was much more that the reason of calling their sensei a liar every morning…
A clap of Kakashi's gloved hands brought his present students' attention back to him for a second before-
"CHA!" screamed a pink haired kunoichi as she ran like a possessed demon toward the bridge as a large dust cloud lifted behind her from her sheer speed. Yet in all her desperate running, her quite clean, blown-dried hair floated around her in a radiant pink halo, her lips so shinny they sparkled blindingly from the great distance covered till she stood side-by-side with her two other teammates. Upon closer inspection, Kakashi saw the third and final member had darkened her lashes with makeup and her rosy cheeks were more than the results of her harsh run. The sensei regretted informing the girl of the day's mission, but if there was a more dependable partner in crime, he was yet to see them.
The silver-haired ninja was also very glad to see a large, full tote hanging across her chest. Inside the dark green bag would be the tools paramount to the success of this mission. It had been easy to convince Sakura to help with the mission; he only needed Naruto's agreement to outnumber the inevitable objections of Sasuke.
Naruto eyed the bag suspiciously, in his mind hoping it was the special lunch hand-made by Sakura with love, the lunch where she would confess her love for the heroic blonde ninja he was. Sasuke noted that the pink teammate smelt strongly of strawberry and some other sweet fruits and the fragrance spoiled the scent of clean grass and water that he enjoyed at the bridge; and that her dramatic arrival had startled the wild Itachi and Orochimaru, whom had galloped far into the cover of the woods not unlike two deer.
Kakashi coughed once again to capture the attention of the now complete Team 7. Three pairs of eyes looked up to their sensei's perch, only to find it empty. A moment of silence passed before each felt a thump on the backs of their heads and turning around; the Copy-nin being behind them and armed with his orange book.
The more experienced ninja looked pleased as his three charges stared at him with expressions ranging from confusion to annoyance. He timed it perfectly, just as Naruto opened his mouth to object, the jonin shoved a scroll between the blonde's teeth.
"We are to go on a class B mission, should you accept" he began, earning sparkly eyes from a very happy Naruto. "It will be quite dangerous, for all of us. In truth, only one of you knows the details of the mission" here he placed a hand on Sakura's shoulder as he shared a special wink with her (only Sakura could tell the difference between a wink and a blink from Kakashi Hell knows why), "out of courtesy to your parents, incase you don't survive."
The jonin was proud that Sakura didn't burst out laughing from the over-dramatic tone of his words. In fact, she played her role perfectly, giving a just loud-enough nervous gulp and tightening the grip on her green bag. It almost made up for the fact she was dressed to look like she was going on a date.
Their acting had its desired effect, Naruto looked so happy he could burst, while Sasuke steeled himself in acceptance to the yet undefined mission.
Now Kakashi look to his male students as he continued.
"With more agreeable circumstances, you two wouldn't even be considered for this assignment; but because Sakura-chan is an indispensable asset and you having worked so well with her as a team, the Hokage has overlooked some rules to allow you to go on the mission." Here, Kakashi looked at each boy. "Think carefully, once you accept, you cannot back out of this operation; you must see it is successful."
Kakashi loved being dramatic.
Naruto thought of defeating lions and saving Sakura's, while Sasuke imagined kicking the shit out of Itachi, not flower-braiding, maypole dancing one, but the evil clan-killer one.
Hook, line and sinker, Kakashi though.
"What's the mission?" inquired Sasuke, the first to break the theatrical silence.
"Confidential in till accepted" was Kakashi answered.
A moment passed, and the Copy-nin was mildly worried he made the job sound to difficult and they would decline… but no, they knew Sakura was going, and despite the team's conflicts, they had become friends. Sasuke and Naruto both had a moral code that demand they stick by their friends.
"I'll go…" it was Naruto who spoke first.
Sasuke nodded in agreement.
"Good" said Kakashi, clapping his palms together once again. "Let's go clean Sasuke-kun's house!"
Kakashi wished he had a camera that moment… and a steel cage to protect him.
TBC
(P.S. Still looking for a beta... if my bad, icky writting didn't clue you in...)
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