Author's Note: Hello my Little Zombies! I know what some of you are thinking, but hey, when the plot bunny attacks, then the plot bunny attacks. Besides, I'm sure during BIOBL somewhere, I promised you guys a one shot where Cali and Glenn got high. So here it is! Hope you like it!

It moves kinda choppy, but that's just how Glenn and Cali's though process works when they're high xD Enjoy!

Disclaimer!: I don't own TWD, and this one shot has swearing, drug use, and other things that Eris DOES NOT CONDONE. But hey, it made a good story :D

Till The Smoke Clears Out

Insomnia. One of the most common ailments that affected the entire population of the world, and it didn't even destroy anyone's life. Unless, of course, you're trying to survive Armageddon, then well, the lack of sleep suddenly becomes a very serious issue.

Cali stifled a groan, and rolled her body over into her 159th 'more comfortable position' of the last hour and she came to terms with the bloody, nasty truth. She would not be sleeping. Uh uh, not tonight she wouldn't be. Silently, Cali pulled herself out of her sleeping bag, careful to no wake any of the others settled on the hardwood floor of the Greene's home. Using as many hunters' tricks that she had managed to snag from Daryl over the weeks, and she successfully made her way out of the Greene's house and walk out onto the porch.

"Cali?" The young girl flipped back, and came face to face with Glenn, who was leaning against the door, saddest look she'd ever seen on his face.

"Glenn? What the hell are you doing up?" Cali scolded her Asian friend, and he only shrugged.

"Dale's dead." He intoned, and Cali's heart just broke a thousand times over. Anyone with eyes could see that the old Peacekeeper and Glenn were bros, age ignored. They were best friends, and Camp Clueless hadn't given him a single moment to morn his friend. That was wrong, no matter how hard and shiny they were supposed to be, that was wrong. Very wrong.

"Come with me." Cali ordered, and slipped her hand into Glenn's, and she led her friend down off the porch, and towards where the trucks were park. Carefully, because she knew that the slightest disturbance would alert Daryl, she opened the pack on the side of his bike.

"Cali! What are you doing?"

"Just taking what's mine." Cali answered, rooting her hand around in the leather bag, and she pulled out a small bag of weed, and waved it around in Glenn's face. His eyes widened, and he gave her a look, a look that tried to tell her she's behaving ridiculously, but his obvious interest killed the scolding. Cali laced her fingers with Glenn's again, and she dragged him over to the RV. Quietly the two of them closed the door behind themselves, and Cali sat Glenn down on the small table, while she went and opened the fridge, looking at the old, expired cans that lay in that graveyard.

"Cali, what are we doing?"

"We, are having some fun, the way that Dale would be proud of."

"Cali-"

"Oh don't even give me that. You know Dale was a toker, it was painfully obvious." She smiled, and pulled out an old can of beer. "So, I think he'd be okay with this, don't you?"

"I don't know…"

"Here." Cali popped the top on the beer, and drained the vile liquid down the sink, and she looked at Glenn. "You got a knife?" The young man slid his knife across the table, and Cali poked a hole in beer can, then crushed the center of it in. "So, you in?"

Glenn swallowed hard, then he nodded. "Yeah. Why not?"

Cali grinned and reached for some of her pot. "Good."

Glenn smiled. "I mean, what's the harm right?"

Dale

"Yanno what I loved the most about Dale?" Cali asked, smoke curling out of her mouth as she spoke, Glenn, who keep squinting at Cali, trying to keep a grip on where she was, even though she wasn't moving anywhere.

"Wassat?"

"He, he was a good guy, he was nice. No one here is nice anymore." Cali pouted, flicking the lighter, on and off.

"People suck." Glenn agreed. "Like, more than a blow job."

"Yeah." Cali nodded. "But not in a good way."

"No, in a bad way. Like, when your virgin girlfriend uses teeth." Glenn sniggered, and Cali turned red. Glenn sighed. "Bad try?"

"I had braces."

"Oh Cali."

"Shuddup."

Camp Clueless

"No way." Glenn giggled, and brought the crushed beer can to his mouth. "You do not call us Camp Clueless!"

Cali gave a fox like grin from where she was sprawled across the table. "Hav' you seriously not heard me call you guys that?"

"I don't think you say it out loud Cali."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Fuck, I spend too much time in my head."

Greene's

"Passive aggressive!" Cali slammed her palm on the table, shaking the makeshift pipe and lighter. Glenn frantically reached for their toys before her rampage took off. "I'm so sick of their passive aggressive bullshit!"

"They aren't that bad!"

Cali rolled her eyes and mimed pulling on suspenders. "'Git off mah farm Rick! No guns please Rick! I'm th' only one who can save the fuckin' day Rick!'"

Glenn only stared at her. "Feel better?"

"Fuck you Glenn."

Sex

"Come on Cali, no one's going to go for that!"

"Why not? It's a good deal!"

"Forced intercourse isn't relaxing!"

"Sex is sex, how is it ever not relaxing?"

"Rape."

"…Damn you Glenn."

"Besides, we aren't paired off right."

"'Sokay. Lori can take two. Has before."

Shane

Cali threw her arms to the side. "Dude, I swear! That's the only logical explanation!"

Glenn sniggered again, and rolled his eyes. "Tha's your logical explanation?"

Suddenly, Cali's finger was pointed right into his face. "The. Only. One."

"Shane is possessed by a demon?"

"Yup!" She flopped back down in her seat and reached for the lighter. "Tha's it."

"Okay, so what should we do?"

"Salt and burn him."

"Supernatural fan?"

"Fuck, who isn't?"

"You don't salt and burn a demon Cali, you exorcise it."

Cali's eyes widened in horror, and she brought her hands to her mouth. "Oh fuck."

"What?"

"I killed that cow in the wrong fucking way."

Sophia

"You know I loved her, and I miss her like hell." Cali sighed into her hands. "But she was 12. I mean, we can't expect the rest of the world to take care of her, when she was totally capable of taking care of herself."

"Harsh, Cali. Harsh."

"What?" Cali leaned back in her chair. "If there weren't Walkers, and she got lost walking home, she'd be fucking yelled at for not paying attention. Now? Shit, paying attention is the only fucking thing we got."

Love

"Yeah, it's real." Cali giggled, and grinned over at Glenn. "I love you, I love Daryl, I love Carl, and I love Camp Clueless. I love everything."

Glenn snorted and rolled his eyes. "Cali you're high."

"No, I'm happy."

Fear

"All the time!" Glenn growled, and he snatched the beerpipe from Cali's hands. He brought the lighter to the buds, and he took a deep breath. "We're scared all the time. It's crazy! How long can adrenaline still pump through our veins until we just give out! How can we still be scared!" Smoke curled out of his mouth and he yelled like a dragon. Cali tilted her head mesmerized.

"We're gonna die some point." Cali drawled. "Maybe when we die, we won't be scared."

"What happens after we die, huh? What waits for us?"

"A steady heartbeat, and a full night's sleep."

"…Mmm. That's almost worth it."

"Couldn't agree more."

Dying

"You scared to die yet?"

"Yeah, I think I am."

"Why?"

"Because I've been really good at avoiding death so far…and I don't want to be the last one. I don't want to die alone."

"Doesn't matter who we die with, or when we die Glenn. We're always going to die alone."

Carl

"HE'S NEVER IN THE FUCKING HOUSE!"

Rick

"Sure. Sure." Cali nodded, the pipe nodded with her. "I trust Rick. I feel like he's genuinely trying to keep us safe."

"Yeah," Glenn muttered. "But I don't feel like he's sure of himself. He wants approval, when what he really needs is to make the decision for himself."

"But…?"

"…But he's a good leader. I'll follow him to my dying breath."

Maggie

"Scares you?" Glenn threw his head back and laughed the hardest Cali had ever seen him laugh. She rolled her eyes.

"It's not funny Glenn. She's terrifying…in a like…Country Girl Cop Killa kind of way."

"And what the hell does that mean?"

Cali blinked. "Fuck, I don't even know."

Daryl

"Seriously." Cali nodded, totally serious. If it weren't for the vibrant red circling her brown eyes, Glenn would think she was sober.

"Really?"

"Yup."

"There's no way."

"Three squirrels, one rabbit, and a fly. With one arrow."

"Jesus Christ."

"Nope, Just Daryl Dixon."

Kids

"I'm never having kids." Cali snarled. "In this fucking world, the less people you care about, the safer you are. And no matter what you fucking do, you'll always love your kids. Why would you open yourself up to weakness like that?"

Glenn stared at her while he blew smoke out of his mouth. "Spoken like a true survivor."

Walkers

"I don't know man." Cali yawned, and scrunched her hand into her bangs. "They're about as common as the damn flies, yet each time I see one, it's still the fucking ugliest thing I've ever seen, or the scariest one I've ever seen. It's been months, why are they still scary."

Glenn's arms were folded, and his head sat upon them. "The day we get used to them, that's the day we stop being human."

Being Human

Cali slid her hand from her hair, and wrapped it around Glenn's free hand. He laced their fingers together as she got comfortable on the bench seat across from him. Finally, the two of them were both barely hanging on to consciousness.

"Thank you Cali."

"Anytime Glenn. Anytime."

That following morning, when Daryl Dixon walked outside, the first thing he noticed was the two sets of footprints that took off from the porch. Carefully, he followed both sets, until he stood outside the RV. With a sigh, he pulled open the door, and was smack right across the face by the smell of weed.

"Fuckin' hell?" He hopped up the stairs, and froze.

Nia's legs were hanging off the seat, right into the isle, and her arm was thrown across her eyes to block out the coming sun. Her other hand was holding the chink's hand, while he just leaned against the wall, with his hat covering his face. Both of them were dead as fuck to the world, and he glanced at the pipe, charred and crushed, in the middle of the table.

"Bitch stole my lighter." He mumbled to himself before walking past them, and looking through the cupbaords. Finally, he pulled out a bag of chips, a little stale but they'd do, and he left it on the table for them. Grabbing a pen, he scribbled a note down for them, and looked back to check it over.

Dumbfucks-

Wait 'till Rick's gone before ya air out the damn RV.

Don't care if ya don't wan' the chips. Ya eat like a damn walker 'round the rest, they gonn' know something's up.

Touch my lighter again; I break every finger the chink has.

Dumb fucking retards.

With a smirk, Daryl set the note back down, and looked around. He figured it had to be around here, Nia didn't go very far without it. With a brilliant smirk, he grabbed her iPod from the table and created an alarm that would go off in ten minutes. He scrolled through her songs, and selected one. He took another moment to consider, then he went and hid the iPod. Then he walked out of the RV, and back onto the porch, to start his crossbow upkeep.

Ten minutes later, when the air was filled with Cali's screaming and Glenn begging God to kill them as they ran around the RV, trying desperately to find whatever kept playing Cotton Eyed Joe on repeat, well, Daryl let himself laugh for the first time in what felt like months.

He'd have to be under pain of death to admit it, but he'd grown rather fond of those two dumb fucking retards.

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