"Hello, and welcome to another exciting episode of Piccolo Live," muttered an extremely bemused Piccolo. "Today, my assistant and I will be preparing one of our favorite dishes: fruit salad."
"How fitting," Raditz smirked from the audience. Piccolo killed him with a ki blast.
"The attack I just used is called the Special Beam Cannon," Pikccolo explained,
turning back to the audience, "and in addition to killing stupid people, it is
very useful for other purposes, such as how I am about to use it." With that,
Piccolo grabbed a pineapple and threw it into the air. He quickly fired a beam
from his fingertips through the fruit, vaporizing the core instantly while
leaving the rest of it virtually untouched."I shall now leave the pineapple
detail to my assistant, Mirai Trunks," he proclaimed, stepping back as the
pineapple reached the peak of its flight andbegan falling back down. Trunks
stepped in and apparently flinched slightly as the pineapple fell down in front
of him. A second after it landed, the peel fell off and it split into perfectly
cut cubes. Trunks stepped back, bowing, and the audience applauded politely.
"Show-off," Piccolo muttered. "Let's see if you can handle this." He picked up three peeled oranges and threw them at Trunks at the speed of sound. Trunks calmly turned and caught them, one in each hand and one in his mouth. He began dividing them up into slices, placing each one in the bowl that had conveniently materialized around the sliced pineapple. Piccolo swore under his breath and continued throwing fruit at Trunks until it had all been sliced and placed into the bowl. "Finally, we have to add the ice cream," Piccolo said, removing it from the freezer. "Unfortunately, it's rock-hard."
"Like my body?" Trunks smirked, flexing his pecs. The ladies swooned.
"Shut up, kid," Piccolo muttered. "As I was saying, the ice cream is rock-hard,
and I doubt even golden-boy here can fix that."
Trunks thought for a moment. "I've got it!" he finally exclaimed. "Step aside"
he told Piccolo, taking aim at the ice cream. Making some strange gestures with
his hands, he shouted "Burning attack!" and shot a small ball of energy into the
core of the frozen confection. It exploded, showering everyone with boiling ice
cream. The audience screamed and ran around like a chicken with a duck up its
ass. "No! My face! My beautiful face!" Trunks screamed, falling on the floor
and flailing. Only Piccolo stood still, facing the camera with a deadpan look
on his face.
"Well, that's it for today. Tune in next time for another rousing installment of Piccolo Live," he mumbled.
Notes: This is my first one-shot fic, hope you liked it. It's also my first DBZ fic, and definitely my last. I HATE Dragonball Z! It's SO STUPID! Guys taking their shirts off and punching each other through mountains? That's gotta be for the ladies! Sorry, but Sailor Moon's more my type of show; at least the main characters in THAT show are somewhat arousing (with the obvious exception of Tuxedo Mask, Reenie\Chibi-Usa and any other pint-sized Sailor Scouts). And, for that matter, Yu Yu Hakusho is great too, though for obviously different reasons (although Botan could spoon with me anytime. Get it? She rides around on a spoon! Hardy har har, muthaf--ka!). At any rate, adios para ahora.
---SoFaRo
PS: Bishonen-haters unite! Down with pretty-boys!