By "Madisynne".
AN: kay, so dis is goin 2 be my furst fic. Plz do nut flass me, its knot nize. I mead this cuz edwad nd jakeub are like, sooooo hawt. Njoy!
The bed was goodly, and jake standed on it sexily, he hud no shit on and had a six pack, lolz. He wus waetin 4 his 1 an only love, madisedward. "I cannot waet 4 eddy-chan 2 come bak home", he said wif his shirt oaf. Edward was a hawt and sexy vumpire, wif pale skin and kawaii eyes 3 he used to be meeried 2 ebella, but she wuz a psyco bich who was ugly, so he killd her. He then stasrtsed dattin jakeub and has nvr lkked back.
Suddenly…..Edward! "I am home, jakie-kun!", said edwerd in a sexi voice. Jake jumped off off bed and went there. "hello, Edward-senpai, hajijimashete! (AN; hajijimashete meens sumfing in japnese, it hink LOL) "how was ur day, jake?" "I did buch of werewolf stuff 2day, how boutchu?" "I saw bella 2day, she was stupid and smelly an ubly as ever, so I shot her in head wif mah gun." Jake was ecstatic, ther was no one who culd get in between eddy-sama an him nao! "WE HAF 2 CELBRATE!" said kakeub, wif a sexy smily. "whut do u sujjest?" said eddy-chan. Jake turned into a wolf thingy and grabbed eddy, carrying him in his arms, he rusheed edd-kun 2 da bed, "iz tiem 4 passion nite, nao1" edd smild as he was on the bed, he sttod and took of his shit, then his punts. "oh plz, do me!" yelld jake, wif his sex pointed at edd. Edd took out his boner, it was huge!1 it was 32" long, and was 5" around, he lined it up wif jaeks sex, an pushed it in!1 "oh do it faster ed!" said jake as edd thrusted his penus in an out. "oh my gut!" ed had bursted jake's hymen in 1 shot, and was heddin str8 4 his prst8, "DESUUUUUUUUUUU" said jake as jake's penus thusted his. Jak shot his jizz over the bed, and splattered the windows on the far sied of the room. "I am shootin mah load!1" sed edd-chan, as he shoots jizz so hard, it leaks out of jakse's sex and pools on tha floor, along witfh jake's jizz. "that waz great!" sd jake, as he an edd frenchd. "I know!" swed edd. "I gut another raison 2 cleabr8, edd, I am pragnent wif child!" "OMFG, NO WAI! SAID EDWARD, AS A SHOCKED.
…..2 b continued?...
There was my furst pic! NO FLAMMIN, OK?
Actual author's note: God, that was painful to write! I might add more later, to make fun of Mpreg and/or if I get enough "goodly reviewings". But I feel this addressed the main issues with slash, bad biology, Mpreg, pointless Japanese, stupid/illogical pairings, and last but not least, unattractive characters. Would it kill people to make some fics about men once in a while, For Christ sakes? Anyway, enjoy (?) the fic!