AN: Still trying to collect all the fics I wrote for my favorite fan.

News To Me

"Well, this is exciting. It is the excitingest stakeout that ever warranted an excitee's excitement."

"Didn't your… Didn't they ever tell you if you made a face, your face would freeze like that?"

Kelly refused to untwist his disgruntled expression. "That's an old wives' tale." He shifted in his seat. "Although why exactly this type of superstition," he sat up a little straighter, "or indeed any type of superstition, should be ascribed to married rather than unmarried ladies is…"

Scotty cut him off smoothly. "Coffee?"

"Don't mind if I do, thanks."

Kelly blinked over at Scotty, the whites of his eyes bright in the deep night-shadows, partly obscured by drooping eyelids, and plucked the offered flask from his hand. It was a welcome break from the sheer tedium to go through the small motions of unscrewing the cap and pouring a steaming mug. When he was done, instead of drinking it himself, he passed the mug to Scotty, who took a deep swallow, an expression of bliss crossing his face. "Excellent. Truly…" Scotty yawned. "Excellent."

"Why thank you." Kelly accepted the proffered mug, still half-full, and took a sip. The coffee was indeed the Chivas Regal of brews, smooth and multilayered and strong against his tongue, swirling away with a heady aftertaste, and he comes back for a leisurely few sips. "That hit the spot."

"They always say that, sir," Scotty's voice smiled lazily, "but which spot are they referring to, when they say that there is a spot which is hit?"

"Whichever spot it is, it is surely not a spot of interest in this here burg, sorely lacking as it is in spots of interest."

"Ain't that the truth."

"Certainly it is." Kelly ran an idle hand through his hair. "We have been watching this building for six-point-three hours, during which time the most interesting thing that has occurred has been an altercation over at the city's excellent garbage cans over there, between, uh…"

"Krazy Kat and Ignatz Mouse?"

"Indeed, indeed, you took the words out of my mouth, although that feline was not as public-spirited and open-hearted as Herriman's original…"

Scotty yawned hugely.

Kelly looked over at him, half-asleep already despite the coffee. It was his partner who'd been doing research for the better part of the week today; Kelly had napped for four hours in the afternoon on the scandalously plush hotel beds, while Scotty camped out at the Embassy, going through files. His partner really ought to be asleep back at the hotel, with Kelly taking this watch. "Speaking of cats, sir, if you would like to take a catnap, I assure you I would not be offended."

Scotty yawned again, an exaggerated, noisy affair. "N-aawwww, I'm really…" He leaned sideways in his seat, making himself comfortable against Kelly's shoulder. Kelly shifted lower in his seat, doing his best impression of a pillow. Scotty pulled out a folded newspaper. "…gotta stay alert, keep up with the events of…" He yawned again. "…of interest in this here burg." His eyes drifted shut.

Kelly plucked the paper from Scotty's hands. "Allow me." He squinted at the paper in the dim glow of the streetlight. "Peewee Papers? What the hell is a Peewee Papers?"

"They were all outa the Wall Street Journal," the sleepy voice drifted up. "Some kid was sellin' these. Only readin' material they had left…"

"Hokay, let's see what brilliant surprises await us in the Peewee Papers." Kelly flipped open the paper with a flourish. "News Items. Pay attention, there'll be a quiz later."

"I am all ears."

"Hmm." Kelly cleared his throat importantly. "Kathy Eubanks will use the iron and ironing board Santa gave her for Christmas. Her uncle and aunt from Virginia spent a night with them too."

"You don't say."

"Indeed I most surely do."

Scotty's head shifted on his shoulder. "Who'd get a kid an iron for Christmas?"

"A Laundromat owner, how should I know? You want these pearls of wisdom or not?" Satisfied at having quelled the opposition, Kelly resumed his reading. "Artie Smith went for a nature walk last week. He saw two robins and an owl."

"Breathtaking."

Kelly snorted with laughter, feeling Scotty's head bounce against his shoulder in time to his chuckles. "Linda Gillespie had a wonderful trip to Biloxi, Miss., with her uncle and aunt during the Christmas holidays."

"Do tell."

"Sherry Honeycutt drove to Wrightsville. Then they came back by Wilmington. They saw the big lighted Christmas tree there. It is supposed to be the biggest in the world."

"Ah, yes, eighth wonder of the world, right up there with the Taj M'hal and th' Hanging Gardens…" another yawn, "of Babylon."

"Bessie Jones scored a B+ on her math test…" Kelly smiled, feeling Scotty drooping heavier against him as he read down the list of refreshingly mind-numbing, commonplace events. He knew they ought to strike him as reflections of the normal life he might have had – a litany of might-have-beens or a journey into never-never land – but instead they just seemed like the Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus. Comforting to know they were there, but not really real. Not like this was real.

A soft snore from the vicinity of his elbow told him Scotty had finally lost the battle with his man Morpheus. Shifting around slightly, Kelly fixed it so the dark head was lying in his lap, and reached back for a blanket. It was kind of a struggle in the tight space to spread it over his partner without disturbing his tranquil sleep, but he managed it. It was good to know Scotty was warm, getting his much-needed sleep, and if their luck held they might even just relax here till morning.

The windows were partly misted over. Kelly wiped a small spyhole in the condensation on the windshield. It was good for their cover – they'd be invisible in here – but it also gave the illusion of a cocoon of warmth and peace.

"Night night, sleep tight. Don't let the carbugs bite." Kelly's voice was a whisper, the warmth in his heart overflowing. My cup runneth over, he thought, amused, and took another sip of the heavenly brew. Smiling down fondly at the sleep-slack features, Kelly propped the Peewee Whatchamacallit up on the steering wheel, arranging himself so one hand was free to hold the coffee mug and the other rested on Scotty's hair.

He let his fingers burrow into the soft, warm nap, gently massaging his partner's scalp, relishing the smile that touched the sleeping face as he continued, "Louise Isenhour was very much surprised when her and Linda's brother got home for Christmas..."