Hello, my pretties. Seeing as you've come here, I suppose that I can assume that you liked Faulty Floo enough to want to read more. If you haven't read "Ginny Weasley and the Faulty Floo" yet, then go do so. This will make less than no sense if you haven't read Faulty Floo.
A few notes before we begin:
1- At this point, "Ginny Weasley and the Farcical Followup" is meant to follow the general patterns of a farce. That means that I'm not going for easy-to-understand here. Part of what makes a story a farce is that farcical plots make no sense and are generally expected to be utterly ludicrous. I cannot construct a decent plot to save my life, so I am taking advantage of the genre of farce.
2- As stated previously (in Faulty Floo- which I assume we've all read), I'm a busy person. I have a life, and I'm sure you do as well. Repeat after me- We will not get angry at Ella if she has issues and cannot update. Got it? Fantastic.
As always, I am not to be mistaken as the plot goddess named Joanne Rowling. She makes the plot her bitch in ways that are brilliant and subtle. I basically cower in fear as the plot runs rampant through my story.
Ginny Weasley and the Farcical Followup
-Chapter 1-
WITNESS TESTIMONY- GINEVRA MOLLY WEASLEY
TAKEN UNDER MILD TRUTH POTION COMBINED WITH COMPULSION DRAFT
16TH OCTOBER, 2001
THIS TRANSCRIPT WAS TAKEN WITH A QUICK QUOTES QUILL (COPYRIGHT)
PROPERTY OF THE DEP'T MAGICAL LAW ENFORCEMENT
Hello, officer. How are you today?
Oh, that's too bad. I suppose that you probably don't like having to interrogate me. From what I've picked up I'm kind of infamous around these parts. Sorry 'bout that, but you guys are the ones who insist on accusing Draco of kidnapping me.
Yes, I know that I was tied up in his house. Yes, I know that my brothers think that I've been Confunded. My brothers are thick gits.
Oh, you probably want to hear about why I ended up in Malfoy Manor. Fair enough. It pretty much begins where I left off after the first time that you guys brought Draco in.
I was not having a good day, to say the least. I'd started it sick with a cold and found myself ending it by explaining yet again to yet another police officer that no Draco Malfoy had notkidnapped me.
I'd tell them, "Read the report if you're so curious. I've already told you all of this." Whenever I said this, the officers' only reply was to say "Mhmm" and nod their heads, before continuing with their interrogation. (Oh, that's for consistency? That's stupid. I'm already under Veritaserum. Why would you need to test me again?)
Finally, at 9:36 PM (Of course I was counting!), yet another officer led me to the front lobby and told me that I could go and thank-you-for-your-cooperation. I stuck my tongue out fiercely at the officer's retreating back, only to hear a familiar snicker from the direction of the waiting area. I turned around and felt my cheeks go hot as I came face to face with Draco Malfoy for the second time that day. He was sprawled out on one of the cheap armchairs, and managing to look as though he was at ease even though there was noway that those armchairs were even close to comfortable. I've had intimate experience with the armchairs in other parts of the Ministry, as most of my family works here, so I would know.
"I see you've been embracing your inner child, Weasley." He smirked at me, and I felt a fresh surge of annoyance; one of many I'd experienced throughout the day.
"Stop being so smug,Malfoy." I glared my best angry-Weasley-woman glare at him, but this only served to make his smirk wider, which made me even more annoyed.
"I can't help myself, Weasley. Being smug is what Malfoys do best."
"I thought that being great in bed was what Malfoys did best," I retorted before I could stop myself.
Draco's eyebrows shot up, and he stared at me for a moment. I couldn't help but think that, had Malfoy been an actual human being, his mouth would probably be hanging open in shock.
Eventually, though, Draco regained his sense of smugness. After all, that's what Malfoys did best.
"So you admit that I'm good in bed, then?"
"Ugh, Malfoy, you're insufferable." I rolled my eyes at him, but halfheartedly. I really didn't have the energy to deal with Draco Malfoy. I just wanted to go home and sink into a nice hot bath... or as hot as a bath at my crap flat can be.
"You know, Weasley, talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity," Draco drawled.
"Really? I thought that it was hearing strange voices." I looked down at him with what I hoped was a defiant stare. I hadn't realized that I'd been speaking aloud, and so he'd caught me off guard. Perhaps I am going insane,I thought.
"Well, they go hand in hand, don't they Weasley?" Draco's smirk was once again firmly on his face, and I- with great willpower, mind you- resisted the urge to smack it off.
"Just go away Malfoy. I'm tired." I sank onto one of the chairs near him and put my head in my hands.
"You've never been through this sort of thing, have you?" He asked suddenly, curiosity creeping into his tone.
"Why would I have been?"
"I suppose that I shouldn't be surprised, seeing as you're Gryffindor's Golden Girl, but I always thought you were the type to egg Ollivander's in the dead of night and then get caught running away from the scene."
"Malfoy, I can't believe that you even thought that, let alone said it!" I looked at him indignantly, and he cringed, possibly readying himself for a lecture. "I'd neverget caught." (No, I will not elaborate on what that means. Do you want this testimony or not?)
He laughed, and we both fell silent for a moment.
After a few minutes, I asked him, "Why are you still here anyway?"
"I thought that you might want to know why you were stuck in my house," Draco responded. "Now is as good a time as ever to set up a place and time that I'll be able to tell you about it."
"Why can't you just tell me now?" I asked. "I mean, I'm here, you're here, and I can't imagine that either of us has anywhere important to go at quarter to ten."
"Well, it's going to take awhile to explain it to you, and I had wanted to check something before I was so rudely interrupted." He paused and cast a glare towards the duty officer at the front desk, who didn't even look up from her copy of Witch Weekly. "Also, I don't think that a police station is the best place to discuss it. It's a rather sensitive matter."
My eyebrows shot up at this, but my voice didn't waver as I said, "Alright, Malfoy. How does Thursday sound? I can get us reservations at WASP."
Draco tried to hide his surprise at these words but failed.
"Youcan get a table at WASP?" he asked, flabbergasted.
"Of course I can, Malfoy. Can't you?" I smiled sweetly at him, already knowing the answer.
"Why yes, of course Ican, but I'm surprised that someone who works for something barely above minimum wage can get a table at one of the most exclusive restaurants in the world."
It would have been clear to me that he was lying even if I hadn't already known the real answer. My friend Colin books reservations for the restaurant, and he'd told me that the owner of WASP- Pansy Parkinson- had given him explicit instructions to neverallow Draco Malfoy to make reservations. Much to the chagrin of the Malfoy heir, I might add, as WASP is considered the finest restaurant in all of Wizarding London, if not England.
"Well, I can. I have connections too, you know." I failed to mention that said connections were also of the kind who worked for barely above minimum wage. I'd never really felt the need to exploit Colin in that manner, but at the moment I was more concerned with making Malfoy respect me than the fact that I probably only had so many favors I could ask Col before I put his job in jeopardy.
Because, you know, Malfoy was a Snob, and you get Snobs to respect you by throwing money at them.
"Anyway," I continued, "does half past seven on Thursday work for you?"
"I'll have to consult my schedule."
"Very well then." I stood up at the same moment as Draco, and we shook hands rather awkwardly.
We parted ways at 9:51 in a mild state of shock at what we would come to consider the day our lives changed forever.
-x-
Jack Mason looked up at Ginevra Weasley, who had paused, a confused look coming over her face.
"Well?" He said impatiently. He hated making witnesses take Veritaserum. It made their brains a bit addled and without prompting they'd go off on ridiculous tangents.
"Well... I was just trying to figure out what I should talk about next. I mean, you don't want to know what I did the next morning, do you? Because all I did was wake up and go to the ba-"
"That is uneccesary, Miss Weasley. Simply tell me the parts that are pertinent to your interactions with Mr. Malfoy."
"Oh..." she seemed to be thinking. Really, Jack hated this part. He'd heard from a coworker at the DMLE that she was really a smart girl, but you wouldn't know it from the way that she reacted to the truth potion.
"Alright, then. I suppose that I should start with getting the money for WASP..."
-x-
"George, dearest, do you know that I love you with all my heart?" I sang as I danced up to the till at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. I pressed myself right up to the edge of the counter and gave my brother my best cute-and-innocent look.
"What do you want, Ginny?"
"Want?" My expression was the picture of innocent shock. "Why do I have to want something to tell you how much I completely and totally utterly adore you?" George raised his eyebrow, unconvinced. "Well, now that you mention it, I coulduse some extra money... say, 100 Galleons or so?"
At this, George choked on air.
"100 Galleons? That's serious money, Gin. Did you overextend your Gringotts' Credit Charm again?" He looked at me with an expression that I had come to associate with responsible adults.
Perhaps this is a bad idea, a small corner of my mind said. When George is the voice of reason, you know you've gone too far.
No! I thought. I have to get something nice to wear, and if Malfoy ends up having to foot the bill at WASP then it will ruin everything.
Of course I didn't dwell on why I wanted to impress Malfoy. I'm not one to dwell on my actions much. Just ask anyone who's ever had my acquaintance.
"No, but... but..." I paused here and pretended to collect myself. "I wanted to buy something really special for mum's birthday, and I don't have the money." My lower lip trembled on cue, and I managed to squeeze a single tear out of my eye. The moment that it slid down my cheek, George was a goner
"Oh, Gin-bug, don't cry... here, take 110, that's what I have in the till." George emptied the cash register into a coin purse and handed it to me.
Works every time,I thought smugly to herself, smirking inwardly. Even George, the craftiest of the Weasley men, was powerless in the face of his baby sister's tears.
"Oh, thank you George! You're the best!" I flung my arms around his neck from across the counter and planted a kiss firmly on his cheek. He grinned and extracted himself from my suffocating grip, summoning the ledger with a lazy flick of his wrist.
"Anytime, Gin. Just remember not to go spending it all on sweets between now and November." He paused scribbling in the ledger long enough to glance up at me and grin impishly. I grinned back, because genuine George smiles don't come around quite so often anymore- not since Fred died back in '98. But that's another story, and you said that you only wanted the pertinent bits.
"Oh, of course not. I'll buy mum's present first." George wasn't even listening. He was already lost in a world of figures and sums, and so I let myself out of the shop quietly, making a mental note to ask Percy for more money when it came time to actuallybuy mum a present.
(No, I don't consider it extortion. They're my brothers, and if they really didn't want me to rob them blind, they'd stop lending me money.)
"Now to get a dress..."
Hours later, I hadn't found anything.
"This is horrible!" I wailed in despair as I pulled off a disgustingly pink dress that looked more confection than clothing. It joined what seemed to be a hundred other dresses in the discard pile. "I'm never going to find something to wear, Luna!"
My best friend Luna smiled serenely from where she was flipping through the newest issue of The Quibbler.
"Ginny, I've already told you-
-x-
"Miss Weasley." Jack Mason really hated interrogating those under the influence of Veritaserum. It was like talking to a child. A hyperactive child with the attention span of a golden snitch.
"Yes?"
"I'm sure that shopping with Luna was an ordeal. But we don't need to hear about it unless it has something to do with the case. Only talk about things that have to do with the case."
"Oh, alright... I suppose that tea with Mum is the next thing that I'd have to talk about, then. It doesn't have anything to do with what happened at first, but I think that it probably changes stuff so I ought to tell you a bit about it..."
"Go on then."
"Ok..."
-x-
Tea with Mum was, to put it mildly, a disaster.
I hadn't really expected it to be fun, because tea with my mother rarely is. However, I'd hoped to get through it without having to suffer through the Spanish Inquisition, at least.
I had barely gotten through the door and sat down, though, when Mum asked The Question: "So, Ginny... have you met any nice young men lately?"
"No, mum. Could we pleasenot talk about this?" Ever since Harry and I broke up last year Mum's been on my case to find a new boyfriend. Before that, it had been that I ought to get engaged to Harry. Before that even, she'd been after me to not go too far with Dean Thomas.
"Men won't buy the cow if they can get the milk for free,"she had said. I had responded that it was a good thing that I didn't look like a cow, because otherwise Dean might have accidentally tried to milk me.
Mum had not been pleased, to say the least.
Today though, I was too tired out from extortion and dress shopping to come up with a sarcastic comment, and fervently hoped that my mum would just drop it.
"You're such a pretty girl, Ginny. I can't for the world of me see why you're having trouble finding a nice young man to settle down with." At this, I rolled my eyes, but she continued with her lecture. "In fact, I know a couple of strapping young lads who would be absolutely thrilled to garner your attentions."
"Mum, I'm not interested. I've already told you- I need to focus on my job right now, not finding a husband." I shoved a cucumber sandwich in my mouth, slouching down into my chair. I figured that if I started eating like a pig Mum would just leave it so that she could scold me about that rather than my refreshing lack of a love life.
"Well, Justin and Ernie both think that it's absolutely wonderful that you're pursuing a career in journalism and would be happy to give you as much time as you needed to focus on it." Putting the entire sandwich in my mouth was a mistake because as soon as she said that, I almost choked.
"Justin Flinch-Fletchley and Ernie MacMillan?"
"Why yes Ginny dear. Do you know them?"
-x-
"And this is relevant... how?"
"It's relevant because I said so, you ponce. Now shut up so that I can continue." Jack looked at her in surprise. She was starting to perk up.
Hmm, he thought, maybe Granger was right about her.
"Alright then. Shall we continue?"
Maybe interrogating Ginny Weasley wouldn't be so terrible after all...
END OF CH. 1
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