This story is about me giving myself closure and hope. Hopefully you guys are okay with the fact that I tweaked with Sam and Danny's lives. Most people do on here, so give me a chance. This is different from whatever I have written in the past. And I do not own Danny Phantom. I'm jealous of Butch Hartman.
Eventually
Chapter One: Pressure Points
SAM POV:
I don't think I can do this anymore. I can smell him, feel his hands in mine. But he's nowhere to be found. Everyone thinks it's been long enough. Like there's a certain time where I should just pick up my broken pieces and shrug it off. Well I disagree. I mean if say your dog dies would you go to the store the next day looking for a new one? I sure wouldn't. Well then again I'm not one for pets. I don't know how to give up. It's different from any other pain. If I give up I succumb to the sadness and crawl inside my inner self and rot to the core. That takes work; can't I just become a zombie? They sound like fun.
"Hey."
Damn. Why does he do this? It's killing me.
"Oh Tucker, hey."
My usually response when I'm dying. Like I've been for the past two months.
Tuck and I were best friends for years. I dated all of his friends. It was bound to happen, me and him.
"What's up? You look stressed."
He actually looks concerned, makes me forget for a split second that this is real. The whole year was a waste, because as he says it 'I don't love you'.
"Oh well you know me. We'll be late for class." I end with a smile and a wave. Hopefully he didn't notice that I still love him.
He likes someone else. It was my fault. I questioned why it didn't feel completely right. I questioned the 'us' we've grown apart from. I couldn't just be happy. Well obviously I'm more Goth then I'd hoped.
I walk into class late, a quick make-up is never quick when you're about to cry. I see Paulina and I'm about to punch her right in her freshly avocado scrubbed face. I remember everything.
'I don't love you anymore Sam'
'Why not; how can you just turn it off?'
'It's not that easy.'
The next day she rubs in my face that her and Tucker kissed while I and he were still together. I can't even make a smug comment about sloppy seconds. I never wanted him to be the EX the dreaded past coming to bite me. I may be cold on the outside, but he knew me, he loved me. I think…
"Sam!"
Oh thank god it's just Valerie.
"Hey Val; what's going on?'
"Oh nothing."
Silence, I roll my eyes.
"You know I really want to punch him in the face."
"Don't. He's sweet. It's my fault. Can we drop it?"
"Only if you do"
Then she gives me that 'your better than this but it's still killing you' look.
"I gotta jet."
She is staring at me down the hall but I don't look back. I feel like walking. So that's what I do. Walk right out of the building, out of my problems, for now.
It's drizzling but if no one cares about me then why should I care about myself? Besides I want to take a long bath before work.
Yes, work. My parents are less than thrilled. Their rich daughter is begging for a job paying minimum wage at the local grocery store. College money is all I will accept so the spending money I will save up on my own. I got them with the 'It will look good on a college resume' Speech. I
Walking home I put my IPod on shuffle. By the first song I'm breaking down. How did I ever get this vulnerable? He was my best friend and he was my future husband. We had plans. How can you just forget that? I wish I was angry but I'm not. I'm defeated. I promised myself that I would never let anyone hurt me. I put my guard up so high. He slipped through the cracks.
When I get home I see the all these things on my bed, things from Tucker. Notes, movie tickets, pictures, and I crack again. It's like a huge pressure is right on my heart, waiting for it to explode. I haven't eaten right in forever. It doesn't matter though, I just see what should have been and I can't help but be upset, be angry, with myself.
I opt out of a bath for a quick shower. I can't be here anymore, too many memories. I'll just arrive early for work and read like I always do.
Lime green dress shirt and black apron paired with beige or black pants. My job is the only place I feel calm. I just follow what I'm supposed to do. I don't think. I don't have to. Just react. Something Tucker always tried to tell to do. Well now I'm finally listening, do you love me again?
Silence.
I walk in with two books in my hand, a cell phone in my pocket along with Chap Stick and ten dollars. No one knows my name yet and I kind of like that, except for that one creep in the back with a goatee. Gross.
I'm a cashier and a good one at that. Fast, speedy and polite. Meeting new people for two minutes is kind of exciting.
But my favorite part is not having any Tucker related moments here, since I started when he, well, stopped.
I can actually breathe, a little.