Author's note: Wha-bam, Baby! Another Valentine's Day, another new story. Although, I guess this is really just the second story since last time just expanded a one-shot. Whatever, details.

Anyways, here's a new story, come check it out. Read it, like it, love it, hate it, review, follow, fav, show it to your friends, whatever you like. Go see Deadpool! (If you're old enough to go see it. And if you aren't sneak into the theater and see it anyway. If you already saw it, go see it again!)

Happy Valentine's, people!

The morning sun seeped in through the blinds covering the windows of the dorm, giving just the right amount of light for the pair sitting across from one another at the table a few meters away. On any other day, the warm glow that filled the dorm coupled with the calm silence that came with one of the few people awake this early would have been the perfect start for a relaxing day at home, but right now it was one of the precious few things that were keeping Minato's migraine from consuming his head.

One of the biggest problems right now for both Minato and his head, and the one he was working hardest to remedy at the moment, was describing exactly just how he should be processing this. He'd long since resigned himself to the fact that his life was, quite frankly, not normal so it wasn't like he couldn't believe what was happening. By that same token, he'd seen so much in these last couple months that he hardly felt any sort of fear but he kept himself prepared just in case anything happened all the same.

No, if anything else this whole thing just left him feeling very confused. A simple conclusion, but enough to alleviate Minato's headache a bit and confusion was something he at least knew he could deal with. Hell, an average Tuesday spent with Elizabeth would have probably left him more confused than this. Feeling slightly renewed, he turned his attention back to the morning's other big problem.

"So…"

"…So."

"Sugar?" Minato asked.

A single nod. This conversation didn't seem like it was going to have much actual speaking in it, but that was probably to be expected. They'd already spent the last half hour sitting in silence and just staring at each other.

The small bowl passed across the table and quietly changed hands.

"Thanks. Want some cream?"

"Hm." Minato gave a small grunt of approval and the small pitcher was passed in almost the same way as just a few seconds before. No, it would probably be accurate to say that it was done the exactly the same way as before.

A few more minutes passed as the pair sipped quietly at their coffee until Minato finally couldn't take it any longer.

He cleared his throat and started to say, "So-"

"So."

Minato scowled, and was met with a slightly wry smirk.

"Sorry."

He glared for another second but decided to let it go. There were bigger things to be worrying about right now.

"This… isn't normal."

An eyebrow raised incredulously, and Minato could only stare back helplessly. What the hell else could he say?

"You could definitely say that," the tone managed to keep itself impressively level, but that made it hard to know what he was thinking. Was he really always this stoic? He should probably start working on that.

"What's going on?"

Minato shrugged, "I'm supposed to know that?"

"Well one of us probably should."

Minato sighed at this then moved to put his hand up to his forehead and across the table Minato did the same.

How they rested their arms on the table, the way that they slouched propping themselves up against their seats, the same slight tension they held in their shoulders as they regarded each other, it was clear that the two young men sitting down together were near identical, if not completely the same. The only way to tell the difference between the pair was that one had on the usual pair of boxers and old t-shirt he used for pajamas and the other was wearing his school uniform, the red S.E.E.S. band on his arm and an Evoker holstered at his side.

A thought occurred to the uniformed Minato and he suddenly raised his head. "Maybe I'm just asleep?"

Minato nodded, immediately understanding what he was suggesting.

"On three?"

Minato nodded again. They let their bodies relax and stared each other down before taking a short breath.

""Three!""

The two rushed forward and swung their hands to slap the other as hard as they could across the face. Reeling backwards from the blows, they used their free hand to push the other onto the sides of their heads before doubling over in pain. However, in some small corner of their brains, Minato couldn't help but be a little pleased at knowing how hard he was able to hit when he really put some effort into it.

"D-did it work?" The uniformed Minato groaned, his vision still just a large patch of swimming colors. He wouldn't be very surprised later if he found out a few of his teeth had been knocked loose.

"…No," The plain-clothed Minato managed to answer, of course being in a similar state himself.

"Does that ever work?"

"I don't know."

"Why did we think that would work?!" The uniformed Minato cried out, the initial shock of the blow giving way as terrible, terrible feeling started returning to his face.

"I don't know!"

Once most of the pain had subsided and they managed to recover a bit, Minato asked, "Alright, what else could be going on? Secret cloning program?"

"Maybe one of us is an evil twin from a parallel universe?" Minato offered.

"Doppelgänger?"

"A Kirijo Group robotic duplicate?"

"Government conspiracy?"

"How is that different from 'secret cloning program'?" Minato asked.

Minato shot back, "Why would the Kirijo Group want to try to make a robot of me?"

"Maybe an Anti-Shadow robot modeled after me would be able to use the wild card!"

"Maybe you're just a Shadow that looks like me!"

"How do I know you aren't the Shadow?!"

At some point in all of this both the Minatos had gotten up and started edging closer towards each other until they were literally butting heads. A few more tense moments passed of glaring at each other before they backed away and let out a breath.

"This is stupid," One of the Minatos said.

The other one nodded, "Yeah, sorry."

"Hm," He nodded back.

Both felt the tension that had been building up within them deflate and the two sank back into their seats.

"…You aren't a Shadow, right?" the plain-clothed Minato asked, still eyeing his double with a bit of apprehension.

Minato shook his head, "I don't think so. Are you a Kirijo Group robot?"

He tapped at his arms and torso a few times and gave a bit of his hair a quick tug, "…No."

Both Minatos let out another sigh of frustration and let their heads drop onto the table as they were silently forced to accept that they weren't getting anywhere. Even if they spent all day at it, all the speculating they wanted still wouldn't lead them any closer to figuring just what the hell was going on than they were an hour ago.

Not bothering to lift his head up, Minato asked, "So what now?"

"We should probably let everybody else know what else is going on."

"…Hm," His double just grunted noncommittally and he nodded in agreement. Telling the others was a gamble; it was doubtful the two would resolve this quickly so they would all find out eventually anyway, but the situation was confusing enough as it was. It was hard to believe any of them would be able to do any more than Minato could about this and he couldn't be sure that getting the others involved would actually help or just complicate it further. He didn't know if that was actually possible at the moment, but if anyone could do it, then it was probably Junpei.

"…"

"…Want to just wait until they get up?"

Minato nodded, "Sounds good. Want to go get breakfast?"

"Sounds good. Duck Burger?"

""KYAAAAA!""

Suddenly a loud scream came piercing through the dorm from one of the floors upstairs. The pair shot up and reflexively whipped their heads towards the source of the noise, then quickly turned their heads back to each other.

"Was that Yukari!?"

Minato nodded, but added, "I don't think it was just her, though. I thought I heard Fuuka, too. Come on!"

The Minatos began running towards the stairs and dashing up to the girl's floor, leaving behind the last of their coffee. Even though he already knew, Minato couldn't help but say to himself, "Looks like breakfast is out."

"Damn it."

Author's Endnote: I swear to God, this chapter may have been the most confusing thing I've ever written. I'm a little proud of that. See y'all next chapter, where it's only going to get more confusing from here. Look forward to it!