Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love – Neil Gairman
The first time he noticed her was when she first arrived at Camp Half-Blood. With nothing with her but a sports bag, she looked far too ragged like she just went through a hurricane and was suffering from the trauma. Messy hair that was not quite blonde nor brown, sullen skin, a lanky body and was too tall for a thirteen year old, she wasn't exactly the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.
Tired, she looked tired and that was all he could conclude. She looked ready to collapse at any minute and he noticed Chiron keeping special watch on her in case that just happened. He didn't know what happened to this girl and he didn't really think he wanted to know. Her empty grey eyes reminded him of his younger self, jaded and angry with everyone and everything.
He still didn't look away and watched with particular interest as Chiron led her to Zeus' cabin.
The second time he noticed her was when she was involved in a heated argument with one of Aphrodite's daughters. He could only cringe at the high-pitched shouting Dorothea Madras was doing, she was more on the smaller side inheriting the goddess of love's good looks, perfect blonde hair and pouty red lips. She reminded him of a fury at the moment, her teeth bared and looking ready to claw her manicured nails at the new girl.
The 'new girl' was a sight to behold all on her own. She looked a lot healthier with the months spent at the camp, there was color in her cheeks and she didn't look quite as sickeningly thin as before though the wrath in her grey eyes could've scared anyone at the moment, mortal or immortal. She really did look like Zeus' daughter as the very air around her seemed to radiate with electricity and the sky darkened as her glare did.
It literally happened in a flash. One moment Dorothea had reached up to slap the new girl right in the face when all of a sudden the blonde was writhing on the ground as electric sparks covered her body. The crowd around gasped in shock and fear and only watched as the demigod continued to howl in pain.
He kept his eyes on the cause of the blonde's misery who was staring up at the sky as lightning flashed, everyone instantly cringing at the thunder that came afterwards. He watched her as if in a trance, awed at the small amount of power she was exhibiting.
Chiron arrived unto the scene a second later, shouting at the girl to stop her torture of Dorothea which the former obliged but not before glaring in disgust at the sobbing blonde.
He kept his eyes on her as she walked away, the storm not departing anytime soon.
The third time he noticed her was when she was training with the sons of Ares and Athena. He would've considered anyone insane, especially someone who'd only been in the camp for a year, to try and take on the most bloodthirsty and determined to win campers. And he waited for her battalion of one to be taken down against such an intimidating army.
But he also forget whose daughter she was and could only blink in surprise as she moved with such agility, that in minutes, all of her opponents lay unconscious on the ground. His head was still reeling at the sight of her swinging her sword as anger exuded from her, all pouring out in large torrents as if willing to envelope everyone in it and suffocate them.
Her eyes held darkness in them, the kind attained from terrible experiences. The kind that left you screaming at night from the nightmares and he wondered what she's been through, someone so young, barely even fourteen yet.
Her eyes met his for a moment and the stormy grey depths made him still from his spot like he had just been turned to stone. He thought for a moment she might be related to Medusa but he figured that since he was still alive that that wasn't likely.
Her eyes conveyed a challenge in them, asking him if he willing to take her on. She was almost smug, the smile on her face mocking, daring him to try and beat her. He felt an uncanny excitement flare up in him and he raised an eyebrow at her in question. She returned the favor and that prompted him to make a quick decision in his head and step forward.
The fourth time he noticed her was when all the campers had gone swimming in the lake. Everyone had gotten eager to get in due to the overwhelming heat (that he was not quite was global warming or if any of the Gods were just feeling sadistic that day) but even he was soaking in the waters, cooling off and glaring at the nearby younger campers who started a water fight.
There was only one person not in the lake, just sitting on the banks, staring at the waters as if in deep thought. He couldn't stop himself from staring at her again, a habit he formed from the first moment she stepped foot in this place.
Her eyes looked haunted, the ghosts and shadows playing around inside her head and whispering things, terrible things that rung in her the regions of her thoughts and echoed in her soul, leaving irremovable stains and scars. He could empathize with her, he could see it in her, the pain, and the kind he's felt in years, tearing into his soul and leaving marks every time he thought of his mother or Bianca.
He felt something odd flutter in him as silent tears fell down her cheeks, she didn't sob, didn't even acknowledge the tears, her eyes focused on the water, her mind somewhere else entirely.
He glanced at his bare shoulder as drops of water splattered on it and he blinked in confusion before more and more drops fell. Everyone groaned as the heavens poured down all its sadness, her sadness.
The fifth time he noticed her was when he was idly walking outside his cabin, his eyes fixated on the full moon in the starless sky. It was unknown to him why but he'd always felt a strange calmness with the moon, he felt at peace and the voices in his head were quiet. The glow of the moon attracted him and felt like it was pulling him, his soul out of him. It was like a siren, singing a twisted, beautiful lullaby.
He was pulled out of his trance at the sound of her sneakers stepping on dry leaves. He turned to her in surprise, her freezing immediately as his gaze landed on her. She was dressed in old jeans and a light pink shirt that was almost white in the moonlight, her hair was down in shiny curls and he asked himself how he ever found her unattractive.
"What are you doing here?" The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and he berated himself mentally for acting like a nervous idiot. She was a fifteen year old girl and he was two years her senior, she was hardly dangerous except for when she was angry and became a human taser.
"Just out for a walk," She replied casually, albeit a little awkwardly. He didn't blame her, he learned long ago of his ability to make any situation awkward without even trying. He supposed it was part of being a son of Hades, the need to be a loner and creeping people out.
He didn't really know what to say or do next and he turned back to the moon as it started its song again. There was nothing but silence for a few moments, his attention was on the moon but he would glance every few seconds at the girl standing a few feet away.
Her eyes were transfixed on the moon as well, eyes thoughtful and bright. He speculated of what thoughts ran through her head and his impulsiveness would've made him go and ask her hadn't she turned to walk away.
"Wait!" He called out in an almost panicked voice and she halted. She turned back to him, raising her eyebrows in question, managing not to look too impatient. "What's your name?"
He felt it was a bit of a cliché question but he had been wondering for a long time now and no one was inclined to tell him or inclined to go anywhere near him to be specific. He was getting tired of referring to her as 'the girl' especially since he's been in this camp with her for year and a half now.
She blinked at him and again before she answered. "Anais."
He mentally pronounced it in his head. A-na-ees, it certainly wasn't a commonly used name that was for sure. But he liked it. It was different.
"You?"
He inclined his head to the side as he considered her, her grey eyes were gleaming almost silver in the moonlight and he pondered if she wasn't part human but something more mystical. "Nico."
She gave him a small smile and nodded to her herself like she was trying to memorize his name. "See you around then, Nico." She gave him a small wave and departed, walking slowly out of his sight.
He furrowed his eyebrows, baffled at his hand that had risen to wave back goodbye. He mentally smacked himself, mentally chastising his idiotic behavior.
The light from the moon changed slightly to a different color, the light brightening and dimming at an odd rate and he couldn't help but think that it was actually laughing at him.
The sixth time he noticed her was when she came to see him. He saw her coming up the cabin from the window. It was always odd for him to find anyone going out of their way to find him since they were all too content to avoid him most of the time.
But he wasn't so sure about her. They had formed a quiet friendship the last few months, they would both end up bumping into each other in their moonlight walks while they mused about themselves and the secrets of the universe and they would stand or sit silently, eyes on the moon and occasionally each other, eyes conveying the words they didn't want to say.
She seemed afraid of the skeleton guards at the cabin door, actually stopping on the steps for a moment to assess if they'd smite her if she dare get any closer. Then she got her second wind and climbed up, she'd probably just hit them with lightning if the skeletons decided to hack her off.
She stopped just right outside the door but didn't knock since she noticed him looking at her from the window. She gave a small friendly wave and motioned for him to come out. He did so, slowly, so as not to make it look like he was eager.
He was a son of Hades, he didn't do eager.
"Hi." She greeted him her voice faltering slightly. And he raised an eyebrow at her in skepticism.
"Hi back."
She rocked on the balls of her feet for a moment, her mouth opening and closing a few times as if tongue-tied, her hands fiddling with the edge of her shirt. He thought she was, dare he say it, cute at that moment. He grimaced at his own thoughts, 'cute' wasn't exactly a word in his vocabulary. And he using such a word, even mentally, was just strange.
But stranger things have happened and he'd found himself doing a lot of strange things since she arrived there and his fascination with her started.
"Just spit it out."
She paused in her movements and glared at him in annoyance, making him stiffen in fear of getting shocked until he was smoking like a funeral pyre. Gratefully, nothing happened to him and she opened her mouth again to begin speaking before noticing their audience, the skeletons.
"Wanna go somewhere?" She asked and he nodded, following her to wherever destination she was leading them. They stopped right beside the lake, it was a full moon again and it made the water glistened like little diamonds were floating in it.
She still wasn't speaking, only staring into the dark depths as if waiting for it to rise and swallow her up. He had to clear his throat to get her attention and she turned to him with a morose expression that made his stomach twist in discomfort.
"Something wrong?"
"I'm leaving tomorrow."
That sent a jolt of shock to his system and he struggled to process a lucid thought. "Why?"
She only shook her head at him, shrugging carelessly as if it was of no importance, which it was, because right when he was getting to know her, the girl he'd been obsessively thinking of to a point he thought himself creepy as well, she had to leave.
"Are you coming back?" He winced at the obvious hope in his voice and she even blinked a few times like she was fighting off tears.
"No."
Well, of course, life was unfair and just so twisted like that. He felt like shouting, kicking, hitting something, just to get the sudden aggression he felt brimming in his brains out. Was this the kind of restlessness the sons of Ares constantly felt, the severe need for bloodshed and violence?
"Why are you leaving?"
She doesn't answer, only closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose like she was trying to fight off a headache. That was another ability of his, causing migraines for other people without even thinking about it.
"I just am." She finally replied. "I don't really want to talk about it." Her grey eyes are suddenly unto him, boring into his own and he felt exposed, like she could read his very soul. "It's just you've been nice to me the past few months and we're sort of friends. So I wanted you to know…that I was leaving." She shrugged her lips quirked in a mockery of a smile. "That's all really."
She turned to leave but his limbs seemed to have a mind of their own, he felt like he had no control over his body because all of a sudden he was pulling her to him and kissing her. He could taste her, sweet and tangy like oranges and he thought that he would forever love that taste. And she kissed him back, more passionately before they're lips and tongues danced with each other and they were both panting from the intensity of the kiss.
He pulled away for air, his forehead pressed against hers and they're both grinning and then laughing. At what, he doesn't know but he felt content like he'd never been before, like he could keep on grinning until his face was permanently stuck like that. His joy was short-lived however as realization set in and he remembered why they were there in the first place.
He frowned and looked sadly into those pools of silver he could spend eternity looking into. Her lips were brushing against his, softly, sweetly as if afraid and he kissed her with the same careful affection, his heart beating rapidly in his chest as he feared for the moment to end.
A beat passed and another until her lips pull away from his and he kept his eyes closed, still lost in the wonderful dream he was in.
"Goodbye, Nico." She whispered into his ear and she was suddenly out of his arms, walking away as quickly as she could and then she was running, far, far away from the only thing she would stay there for.
And her reason watched her go, his heart constricting with pain, sadness and despair. He wanted to scream to the heavens and demand why this happened and why life was so cruel. But he doesn't, he just kept standing there, even as the dark clouds covered the moon and let rain pour down on him.
He kept standing there, his breaths constricted as he uttered a word into the darkness. "Goodbye."
He never saw her again.
The work of my sleep deprived mind. Forgive me for my insanity, mushiness and errors. I'm only human.