Never a Past.
Summary: Even Alice contemplates the heavy stuff sometimes, like her lack of human memories.
A darker side of Alice, but one that I think needs to be illustrated.
Don't worry, not all the shots will be like this. I plan on much more humorous conquests later, and starting out with this was probably not wise, but, what the hey, I wanted to get it out there. (: If you're looking for a giggle fix, check out my story "Humans are Friends, not Food," A tale of what happens when Carlisle turns his family human for a week. (Shamelessly plugging advertisement for my own stories? Me? No, neverrr.) (;
I don't own Twilight, please Rate & Reveiw, save the earth, and all that stuff that legal and moral righteousness forces me to put here.
It was something Alice had never gotten used to.
True, there weren't exactly all that many vampires in the world. They didn't exist like humans. But every one Alice had ever met remembered being human.
Alice was always different. She had her power, of course, and her size and demeanor were in sharp contrast to that of many other vampires, but it was her past that really set her apart. The most potent memory that every member of her family had of being human, save Bella, was the feeling of being turned, the experience, the pain.
Though Alice could see the future, she did not remember her past.
It was like some sick and twisted fairy tale, she thought on the nights when she laid on her bed, the window's moonlight giving her purchase on a different realm as she cut elaborate designs out of the pale light with her slender white fingers, dragging them across her duvet. Always a future, but never a past. Nobody ever really thought about her past, not when her body was so attuned to the future, but it was still vacant, an empty, gaping hole in the back of her mind. Never could she live in the moment, being tugged at both ends, never could she just be, it seemed.
Or at least, it shouldn't have been possible.
Jasper made all the difference. He brought light to her life, illuminated her future. Made her happy, made her smile. Made her realize that there would always be good in her life to smother the past bad. Her outgoing and bright disposition was true; she rarely hid her emotions, especially not with Jasper about. But there were times when she looked back and thought hard. Tried to remember, burned to remember, but couldn't. Her mind betrayed her.
"Why do you want to remember such pain?" Jasper asked her one of those nights, where she lay quiet, focused on her past.
"Because, I want to know what it's like to be so….vulnerable, so delicate, so…..mortal," she replied.
Jasper's fingers traced her shoulder as he spoke. "I'm actually glad you never had to experience such a thing. Even now, I still remember it quite clearly. When you live an eternity without pain, it is difficult to forget the feeling."
Alice stiffened, shying away from her soul mate, her hurt tangible. Unknowingly, Jasper had struck a nerve, something he rarely did with Alice. "It's easier than you'd think," she whispered. His remorse filled the room, his emotions betraying him. He wished never to hurt her. It was worse than the times he'd slipped, worse than even her dissapointment in him at those times.
Alice's hurt was worse than even being turned.
"Alice," he said softly, wrapping his strong arms around her. She found herself absentmindedly tracing over the scars on his arm with a free hand. It glittered in the moonlight, a new palatte upon which her unspoken thoughts could take shape. "You know I didn't mean it like that…" he whispered, his voice filled with pain.
Alice shut her eyes. "I'm sorry, Jazz, I know that you need me to be strong for you," she said. "I know this isn't helping."
"Alice," he said, and suddenly she found herself face to face with him. His breath, as unessecary as it was, tickled her face with its heat. "You are always worrying about me. Believe me, I know it hurts. But don't you dare try and be so selfless as to worry about me right now. This is about you. I can't.....bear it if you're going to be like this, so unselfish. I can't deal with how good you are to me when you're in this pain," he choked.
She sighed, blinking a few times. "I'm sorry," she repeated, but he pressed a finger to her lips.
"Don't say it," he said. "Your…pain…is totally understandable. I can feel it, Alice. But know something." He kissed the tip of her nose, lips fluttering against it as he spoke. "I love you, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure that the pain you feel is overshadowed by that. I want you to know that I cannot live without you, that I cannot bear your distress. That I would die..or….whatever it is we do," he said with a chuckle, and she smiled, "for you a hundred times over just for one smile. Know you're mine, forever, and, no matter how dark your past may have been, I'll make sure your future is always bright."
Alice smiled, and happiness trickled throughout the room. She let out a beautiful laugh, and Jasper could not help but grin from ear to ear. "Well, here's your smile," she giggled, touching her nose to his. "Now, how are you going to make sure my future is bright?"
"With your powers?" He said, pulling her close, his blonde curls falling into her black spikes while he burried his face in her hair.
"It's easier than you'd think."
Suggestions for other one-shots would be apprectiated. I love humorous tales, and the ocassional serious yarn, like you saw here. Hope you enjoyed!