All geniuses know each other. It's a fact of the universe that intelligence is a unifying factor, one that stretches beyond the boundaries of any law of physics. Intrepid heroes might get all the glory for their cross-cosmos escapades after they accidentally tripped over a bundle of wires and fell into a time machine, but the smart ones have always known that the secrets of inter-world travel can all be found in a large enough library.

Artemis Fowl sat in the Oblong Office of Patrician Havelock Vetinari, looking oddly out of place in his pressed trousers and blazer jacket. His youth contrasted sharply with that of the Patrician, who, while not old, certainly was no longer of youthful appearance. There, aside from the obvious traits of being from separate worlds, the contrasts ended. Like minds can always recognize each other.

"Well, it was a simple enough equation really – it was just a matter of testing the theory, with the help of a demon warlock to guide the way. Holly was along for protective reasons, just in case anything should happen to go wrong. Nothing like finding yourself stranded alone in the wrong century."

"The study of L-Space has its own department in our local university. However, most of their work is dedicated to keeping people out of the library. I imagine finding someone in it was quite a shock to them"

Artemis nearly smiled at the memory of the hilariously panicked faces, but that would have been rude. He hid his indiscretion behind the cup of coffee he had been provided with.

"Yes, they did seem out of their element. However, I must confess a similar astonishment to finding that an orangutan was manning the shelves. Truly a most remarkable specimen indeed."

"We are rather proud of our librarian. Excellent foot-the-ball player as well. Absolutely wonderful goalkeeper."

The first thing the wizards had done after discovering foreign entities in their home turf was stare, open mouthed. The second was panic. Luckily, one of the more level headed sorts decided the third thing should be to call in the City Watch, and so Commander Vimes had (after finishing his nightly reading of Where's My Cow) found himself among the magically persuaded and with a long list of questions.

Such as, how the hell did he get the news so fast?

He was used to Vetinari knowing most things well before, even years before they ever happened, but seeing it in action always baffled him. Something about the boy miffed him the wrong way – aristocrat by the look of him, and he had the exact same air as Vetinari about him – that I'm one step ahead of you, that's why I'm so smug expression. He chomped on his unlit cigar.

The girl though – she was a copper, no doubt about it. Attentive, at-arms, ready to pounce on anything that moved a little too fast for her liking. He walked over, careful to keep his hands in plain sight.

"Commander," Vetinari pretended to notice him for the first time. "Timely entrance!" Vimes ground his cigar; he knew when he was being mocked.

"Perhaps you would care to show Captain Holly Short around," the girl looked like she was analyzing him. "Fresh perspectives on our police force are always welcomed, yes?"

"Evening Miss Short," Vimes watched as Vetinari walked away. "Captain, eh? What's your specialty?"

Just like all geniuses know each other, all law enforcement officials know each other too. Holly saluted. "Yessir Commander. Flying. Top of my class. Best shuttle pilot in the LEPRecon."

"Flying? You can fly?"

"Only underground Sir."

Artemis was on his second cup of coffee, a different blend this time. It was remarkably similar to Kopi Luwak, an Indonesian brand.

"A thinking machine you say?"

"It's an experiment among some of the younger wizards. I understand they're very excited about the possibilities."

"The description sounds rather like an archaic rendition of our term, the computer. If so, they're right to be very excited about it." He took another sip of coffee. "It's a staple of modern society where I come from – instant news, communication, shopping from a thousand miles away. Everything can be done by the click of a button."

Vetinari lifted an eyebrow. "Everything?"

Artemis countered with his vampire smile. "Everything."

Vimes huffed.

Paperwork.

His desk was buried under a mound he swore wasn't half as big this morning. He swept it off with a brush of his arm.

"Bureaucracy?"

"You don't know the half of it."

Holly nodded. She had never had to do much document reading, but had done more than her share of cutting through red tape to get the job done. Julius had let her get away with an awful lot in the name of justice.

"I think I have some idea. You wouldn't believe the unnecessary procedure back home just to get a pencil out of the storage cabinet. I don't get to see sky for months at a time."

"Exactly! Can't go on a decent patrol with everyone bowing Your Grace at every corner." Vimes grimaced. "It's a well built machine, and it works, but the damn thing runs on paperwork," he sighed heavily. But the moment passed.

"How are you in the field? My boys are always happy to learn some new tricks. Got anything up your sleeve?"

Holly smiled. She loved her job sometimes.

Vimes and Holly returned to the University library some hours later. As expected, the training exercises had been educational for the newer recruits. Never underestimate anyone was a good lesson to learn.

He wasn't sure how he felt about the fact that Vetinari and Artemis were on their way there using the hallway that connected to the High Energy Magic Building.

"Showing off the University?" Vimes was a suspicious old bastard. Vetinari raised an eyebrow at the naked investigation, but let the matter drop.

"No. 1 asked us to be in the exact same place we landed. Nice of you to mark it off for us" Holly stepped under the police tape. Artemis followed suit.

"Nice meeting you Commander. Your Lordship."

"Likewise Master Fowl. The experience was most… educational."

Something in Holly's hand buzzed. She flipped it open and nodded. "Time for us to go. Ready Mud Boy?"

"Anytime Holly."

Vimes returned to his office to find his desk yet again hidden under a dead forest. He sighed and pushed it off into the wastebasket. Good copper that girl. Would have had a great career in the Watch if she'd stayed. He hadn't offered – he knew what the answer would have been.

Vetinari studied the machinery Artemis had put together. He had asked for a significant length of cable and an old typewriter and set up the entire device in a matter of hours. Vetinari had no doubt Leonard could refine it later. He pushed a few keys.

+++ Good Evening Your Lordship. How May I Be Of Service Tonight? +++

Written as a Christmas gift by request of the wonderful Ajac of Awesome Ideas and Late Responses.

Not as long as I would like, and a bit OOC, but I'm mostly happy with it :D

- SilverInkblot