Hades sneered. These annoying twerps were getting in his way, along with Jerk-ules. It was not his day. And now they were bothering him with these accusations! It doesn't matter how right you may be, you should be polite to a god in charge of your afterlife.
"Oh, I see, pick on the guy with ambitions to rule the world."
The small walking fire-hazard with the household item in place of a weapon ran forward.
"Yeesh. Sorry I'm always sent to kill you before you dominate every being in the world. I'm sure we'd get along fine. In fact," he said, lowering his keyblade confidently, "I only really do it because Mickey and Riku told me to. Peer pressure, y'know? Don't wanna be left outta the in-crowd."
Hades gaped at him. He continued passionately, now leaning on his keyblade. "Chip and Dale are awful bullies if you aren't popular enough to date Kairi. Though, you're a totally cool person, yo. Just wanna get the girl."
Cloud stood stiffly, while Hero-to-Zero nodded in perfect agreement. Hades made sure one of the other gods weren't trying to pull a nightmare spell. They weren't. Hades swore colourfully in Greek.
"It's all about the chicks, ya know? Munny, sex, and—" He flicked his weapon, resulting in an impressive metallic ding. "—power. But seriously. Take care of yourself in the meantime. No tricking angsty Final Fantasy characters. It 's not cool. See where I am from all the peer pressure? It ain't cool, dude. Don't take after them."
Sora grinned, and motioned at the compensating-for-something swordsman. "He had to fight me! And I'm a cool guy right?"
NO.
"Same goals. We're buds. Pals. Just the bros. Don't let them get between us again. I mean, I'm all up for a good spar." He bragged, twirling his weapon and returning it to battle position. "Power perks of being a cool guy in the in-crowd. But don't be mean, yo."
Hades stared. The trio stood in front of him once more, ready for battle as if the entire monologue never occurred.
Pity gods can't get drunk, Hades thought. I'd have liked to have erased that.