SPRING CLEANING
Parody of "Cleaning Out My Closet" by Eminem
Written by Philip Moore
Have you ever been told to pick up your room? I have.
It's been compared to things like a pig pen or a tomb
But every time March rolls around, I can be found
Digging deep in the archives that is my closet space
I got old beer mugs and an CD from NOFX
Time will only tell me what I discover next
What's this? Oh, God! It's a picture of Elton John!
Goodness to graciousness, what the hell was I on?
Who really cares, that was then, this is now
Hey, looky here, a 1997 chocolate cow
Man, I have a king's ransom worth of stuff in here
Wait, I think I have to sing the chorus right here
CHORUS
I freakin' hate it
The whole spring clenaing idea
But it cracks you up what you find
While cleaning out your closet
I freakin' hate it
The whole spring clenaing idea
But it cracks you up what you find
While cleaning out your closet
I got some stuff here in my closet that I didn't even know I owned
Like a mint-condition coin or a vintage telephone
But this thing right here takes me back to '93
That's about the time where I bought my very first CD
Back in the day, Nirvana was a number-one act
I danced every time "Teen Spirit" was playing, in fact
So I as you can guess I was quite happy to find
Behind all the new discs, a copy of "Nevermind"
I found a teddy bear who's side I could never leave
Kinda ruined my shot to capture Homecoming King
Souvenirs and momentos and reminders galore
And all the previously named was just on the floor
I still had to work my way upwards in this pile of junk
A singed pic of the 1969 Mets. They sucked.
But everything and anything here is woth some cash
To help me buy that golden accordion at last
CHORUS
All these items here are giving me some recollection
Like these dimes that remind me when I first went to the station
No one was looking, so I tip-toed onto the track
I layed all my coins on the rail and came back
Onto the the pavement, that train was now chuggin' away
Had I knew what was gonna happen, I wouldn't have stayed
When that big locomotive finally hit the change
It derailed and rolled into a nuclear target range
A couple seconds later, a sonic boom was heard
But people looked away, they just thought it was absurd
The mushroom cloud was there for all the world to see
But even now, I still can't have babies, you see?
Here's here's a piece of paper that I've been looking for
It's a check that'll cure my debt problems forevermore
It's a seven-figure sum the gouvernment gave to me
To try to make my life better with sterility
What the? Jesum Cripes?! Oh, my God, NO!
This worthless check expired almost two years ago!
God, this is death, but I leared my lesson now
Never screw around with Mom when she says "Clean your room now!"
CHORUS
Parody of "Cleaning Out My Closet" by Eminem
Written by Philip Moore
Have you ever been told to pick up your room? I have.
It's been compared to things like a pig pen or a tomb
But every time March rolls around, I can be found
Digging deep in the archives that is my closet space
I got old beer mugs and an CD from NOFX
Time will only tell me what I discover next
What's this? Oh, God! It's a picture of Elton John!
Goodness to graciousness, what the hell was I on?
Who really cares, that was then, this is now
Hey, looky here, a 1997 chocolate cow
Man, I have a king's ransom worth of stuff in here
Wait, I think I have to sing the chorus right here
CHORUS
I freakin' hate it
The whole spring clenaing idea
But it cracks you up what you find
While cleaning out your closet
I freakin' hate it
The whole spring clenaing idea
But it cracks you up what you find
While cleaning out your closet
I got some stuff here in my closet that I didn't even know I owned
Like a mint-condition coin or a vintage telephone
But this thing right here takes me back to '93
That's about the time where I bought my very first CD
Back in the day, Nirvana was a number-one act
I danced every time "Teen Spirit" was playing, in fact
So I as you can guess I was quite happy to find
Behind all the new discs, a copy of "Nevermind"
I found a teddy bear who's side I could never leave
Kinda ruined my shot to capture Homecoming King
Souvenirs and momentos and reminders galore
And all the previously named was just on the floor
I still had to work my way upwards in this pile of junk
A singed pic of the 1969 Mets. They sucked.
But everything and anything here is woth some cash
To help me buy that golden accordion at last
CHORUS
All these items here are giving me some recollection
Like these dimes that remind me when I first went to the station
No one was looking, so I tip-toed onto the track
I layed all my coins on the rail and came back
Onto the the pavement, that train was now chuggin' away
Had I knew what was gonna happen, I wouldn't have stayed
When that big locomotive finally hit the change
It derailed and rolled into a nuclear target range
A couple seconds later, a sonic boom was heard
But people looked away, they just thought it was absurd
The mushroom cloud was there for all the world to see
But even now, I still can't have babies, you see?
Here's here's a piece of paper that I've been looking for
It's a check that'll cure my debt problems forevermore
It's a seven-figure sum the gouvernment gave to me
To try to make my life better with sterility
What the? Jesum Cripes?! Oh, my God, NO!
This worthless check expired almost two years ago!
God, this is death, but I leared my lesson now
Never screw around with Mom when she says "Clean your room now!"
CHORUS