Loss
Disclaimer: I do not own Danganronpa or the characters associated with it.
Synopsis: Kyosuke Munakata thought he knew the pain of loss…he was mistaken. (Set during Side: Hope)
*This Story is a Companion Piece with 'To The Future'*
Kyosuke Munakata thought he knew the pain of loss…
Having survived the Most Despair-Inducing Incident in the History of Mankind, he was forced to watch as the world crumbled around him and thousands lost their lives. The agony of being unable to stop that event haunted him to this day. But rather than despair, he'd found the will to hope for a better future!
While despair blanketed the world and society fell into ruin, he was fortunate enough that the two people most precious to him had survived. Indeed, without Chisa Yukizome and Juzo Sakakura there to support him, he would have buckled under the weight of such despair. They had given him strength, the strength to fight despair and to give his all to free the world from tyranny! With them by his side, nothing was impossible. For as long as the two of them were there to support him, he knew that together they would restore hope to the world!
Sadly, however…for the first time since the Tragedy unfolded…Kyosuke Munakata was forced to realize he had been naïve...and arrogant. And that arrogance led him to suffered true loss.
In a single day, everything he'd cared for was ripped from him. The Future Foundation, which he'd spent so long fortifying, was on the verge of collapse. The lives of many of his allies had been lost…some by his own hands. And worse yet, he had almost become the very despair he'd promised to annihilate!
However, the most painful reality came when he lost both of people who had given him strength:
Chisa – The love of his life who he'd failed to save…
Juzo – His most cherished friend who sacrificed everything for him…
In one fell swoop, the two of them were taken from him…and it was due to his own ignorance!
If only he had trusted his instincts and not blindly accepted their words as fact that fateful day! He should have pursued Junko Enoshima as the Mastermind all those years ago. But instead, he chose to trust them completely, despite the nagging feeling he felt afterward. In a sad twist of fate, his faith in his closest friends prevented him from saving not only the lives of many innocents…but their lives as well.
Munakata would never get to tell Chisa how deeply he cared for her. He would never be able to thank Juzo for always protecting and supporting him. His own arrogance had kept him from expressing how much he truly appreciate having them in his life, and his naïveté had led to their deaths.
On this fateful day…Kyosuke Munakata finally understood the pain of loss…but with that understanding came a startling realization…
Makoto Naegi – A man all too familiar with loss…far more intimately than Munakata had ever considered. Having been forced to watch his friends die, subjected to a cruel killing game on two separate occasions, and suffering the loss of Kyoko Kirigiri…it was a wonder the man was still able to stand.
However, as the former Ultimate Lucky Student stood in the burning blaze of the morning sun, Munakata finally understood what made the boy so resilient. It wasn't just his belief in hope, or his unwavering optimism. No, what made Makoto Naegi strong was his desire to do what was right…for everyone, not just himself.
And that strength forced Munakata to realize…that he was jealous of Makoto Naegi.
While he had let himself become consumed by hatred, drowning in the despair he'd fought so hard to destroy…Makoto had pursued true hope, dragging him out of that abyss, forcing him to realize just how twisted he had become. That boy's words made him realize how precious Chisa and Juzo had been to him…an act that Munakata felt could never be truly repaid.
And even though it was painful to accept the loss of his closest friends…he was grateful to Makoto for opening his eyes to the truth.
"The burden of Hope belongs to you now. I have my own burden to carry…"
Turning his back to young man who had saved his soul, Munakata ventured off into the distance, prepared to do exactly as he'd said. It would be a long and arduous journey, with no clear end in sight, but at the very least…Munakata hoped to find peace somewhere along the way. He neither knew nor cared if he found redemption, as long as he strove to honor the memories of Chisa and Juzo, that would be enough to give him strength.
Donning a white coat and carrying his katana, Kyosuke Munakata's eye gazed at the horizon, determination settling in his chest.
As he walked toward the half collapsed building he'd once envisioned as a place of education, he noticed a figure approaching him. Shock overcame him as his only function eye widened in disbelief.
"You look as though you've seen a ghost…" Kyoko Kirigiri chastised him, her tone low and stern.
She clutched her left arm, a scowl marring her features as she stared at him with one eye, the other coved with a white medical eyepatch. The dark purple of the poison lingered on her left cheek but was clearly receding, much to his surprise. A part of him suspected her of treachery, his old habits of suspicion flaring up, considering her miraculously survival.
At the same time, a strange sense of relief welled up inside him…
"I take it the game is over?" she pointedly asked, her tone suggesting her guard was up.
All at once, Munakata chuckled. Having spent the last few hours hunting her and her friends, it was no wonder she was so cautious. Honestly, Munakata found himself impressed by her resolve, not even flinching in the face of someone she most than likely believed was still her enemy.
In an ironic way, she reminded him of Chisa…
Even though the two of them were vastly different, Kyoko and Chisa shared various qualities; loyalty, integrity, honor, intelligence, an unbreakable spirit, and a strange sense of humor that few people understood. And even considering their polar opposite personalities, both of them had chosen to support the one they cared for most…even at the cost of their lives.
Fortunately for Kyoko, she had managed to elude death, though he was unsure how at this point. In all honesty, the very sight of her filled him with the tiniest hint of contempt, once again jealous of Makoto Naegi. Though he was unaware of it now, very soon the Ultimate Hope would discover that the love of is life had survived, avoiding the loss that Munakata was being forced to suffer through.
Biting back his disdain, the former Branch 2 Head calmly answered her, "Indeed it is."
"I see…" she replied carefully, obviously still unsure of his threat level.
Not wishing to cause a misunderstanding, Munakata continued, "The Mastermind's plot has been defeated…at a great cost."
He saw the perturbed expression on her face and felt a hint of guilt for being intentionally vague, but he had his reasons. Deep down, he didn't want to believe that Tengan had betrayed them, intended to kill them all for the sake of 'Hope'. Not only that, it reminded him that he'd been forced to kill his mentor, just as the Chairman had more than likely intended. The shame of his actions pained him and he didn't wish to revisit them so immediately.
Besides, he didn't have the patience to recall it all for her regardless…
"Hmm, and the others?" Kyoko eventually asked, her face as stoic as he'd always known. However, there was no masking the concern behind her gaze, a fact that relieved Munakata somewhat. When he didn't immediately answer, she pressed, "Are there more survivors?"
Inwardly, Munakata smiled. Over past few years, he had worked alongside the former Ultimate Detective, and not once had he witness her display anything less than a cold and distant personality. However, that was merely the by-product of years of harsh training as a detective, a requirement for her to properly hone her craft. He understands that, just like everyone else, she had feelings and emotions that conflicted with her outward appearance. And only in situations such as this would she let anyone get a glimpse of that, momentarily allowing them to see her for the warm-hearted individual she truly was…just like…
"Chisa…"
Pushing away his grief, Munakata started walking forward, moving aside to pass by her. As he passed, he swiftly answered, "Including ourselves, that makes five survivors…"
"I see…" she answers just as quickly, her plain response surprising him.
Coming to a stop just behind her, Munakata can't keep himself from asking, "You're not going to ask who survived?"
"No…there's no need. I'll discover the truth for myself soon enough."
Shocked, Munakata glanced over his shoulder, staring at the back of her head. Even without seeing her gaze, he could feel her apprehension. Even though she would never admit it, she surely feared that Makoto Naegi had lost his life. Thus, she was deliberately avoiding the issue, preferring to see with her own eyes whether or not the one she loved had survived.
"You're a brave woman…" Munakata found himself saying without thinking. "Despite how much you've lost and may yet lose, you continue to hold firm to your beliefs. It's… quite admirable."
For a moment, Kyoko didn't respond, presumably surprised by his sudden words of praise.
"I'm surprised to hear such words from you…" she eventually answered, his voice low…almost dangerous. "Especially considering the last time we spoke, you condemned such beliefs…"
Internally, Munakata flinched. Her words stung, but it was the truth…and the truth was always painful.
"Indeed…" he began slowly, for the first time unsure of how to respond. "…At the time, I did not understand you…I didn't even try…"
"And now…?" Kyoko pointedly asked, glancing over her shoulder at him.
Her tone was stoic and calm, but her lavender eye stared directly into his cyan iris, challenging him. Meeting her gaze, Munakata turned to face her, combatting all of her unvoiced frustrations. He was under no obligation to answer her, but he felt compelled to. It was the least he could offer, in lieu of an apology.
"At the time, I could not fathom the pain that you…or anyone must have been feeling. And then, due to…Chisa's passing…I was unable to comprehend that others might have undergone that same pain, yourself included."
For an instant, shock overtook Kyoko's features before it vanished almost immediately. Even so, the surprise his words had created still lingered on her face as she asked, "What do you mean?"
Despite not wanting to spell it out for her, it seemed he had no choice. Steeling himself, he answered, "You understand the pain of losing a loved one. After all, you lost your father during the School Life of Mutual Killing…"
Silenced followed his words, more than likely due Kyoko's complicated feeling concerning her deceased father. But that was precisely why Munakata had mentioned it.
Like him, Kyoko's feelings toward a deceased loved one could never be resolved. She would never be able to speak with the father who abandoned her, just as he could never return Chisa's feelings. Both of them knew loss…but only one of them would have to suffer that pain for much longer. After all, Makoto was waiting for her just around the bend—
"I'm afraid you misunderstand…" she cut him off, her gaze hardening. "While it is true that the pain of loss is…considerable, sometimes it is being the one who survives that is even more unbearable…like what you're feeling right now."
"Hmph…survivor's guilt. Is that what you see in me?" Munakata pointedly asked, his tone slightly antagonistic. "It's rather common after such an incident. I can see it in you, too…and in Makoto Naegi as well."
Kyoko's eyes flashed, absorbing that scrap of information about her 'absent' companion. And even though she hid it incredibly well, Munakata could see the relief in her lavender iris. Despite the hint of jealousy that had arisen earlier, he felt a weight lifted from his shoulders as he let her revel in that information.
Showing her his back, a deep sigh escaped him as he finished, "You should cherish the time you've been granted…not all of us are fortunate enough to have such luxuries."
Considering that a parting gift, Munakata decided to excuse himself, he'd delayed their reunion long enough. After all, he knew the pain of being separated from the one you loved…
Suddenly, before he could take a single step, Kyoko said, "Maybe so…but you must consider who perished in order for you to live."
A noiseless gasp escaped Munakata, his eye widening as shock consumed him. There was no way for her to know of Juzo's noble sacrifice, or that her words would spark such anguish in him. It was merely a coincidence…but one that cut deep regardless.
That was another of his regrets…never being able to thank Juzo for always being at his side. The man had given everything, even his own life to protect him…and he hadn't even bothered to let Juzo confess his thoughts to him. He knew…he knew exactly how much Juzo cared for him…but the pain of losing Chisa had blinded him…and he mercilessly ran his best friend through without hearing him out! But even so…Juzo still cared enough to save him from the killing game…despite how much Munakata felt he didn't deserve it!
And now…it was too late…too late to apologize…too late to beg for forgiveness…too late to thank Juzo for everything he'd done…it seemed that he was always…too late…
Steeling his nerves, Munakata stared forward and hardened his visage, deciding to remain strong in memory of his best friend.
"I…will never forget those who died here…" he managed to reply, his voice low and dismal. Taking a deep breath, he continued, "However, I will continue moving forward. I will move past this incident and do what I must to atone for my sins…"
"…So then, you'll simply move past their deaths?" Kyoko pointedly asked, her tone more than just questioning. "Have you considered…carrying them with you?"
Munakata flinched, her words reminding him once again of Makoto Naegi. That boy refused to simply move past someone's death. Instead, he carried their memory with him, regardless of that fact that they may not want him to. It was an admirable trait…one that Munakata was certainly envious of. It took great strength to be able to carry such a burden. And unfortunately, it was a strength that Munakata just didn't possess.
However, more than that, he felt as though he didn't have the right to carry on their memories…
"I'm afraid…that would be inappropriate. I have committed far too many sins. I wouldn't wish to carry them with such bloody hands…" he regretfully informed her, staring down at his left palm as it balled into a fist.
If that is your choice…then I won't stop you," Kyoko solemnly responded, turning and preparing to leave. "But know that regardless of your wishes…they will always live on through you."
As her poignant words rang in his ears, Chisa and Juzo's smiling face suddenly appeared in his mind. And for an instant, he was transported back to that magical moment, when the three of them stood before Hope's Peak Academy…prepared to take on the world…together…
Slowly lowering his hand, he blinked a single tear from his eye as he stared forward with a steely gaze. "Indeed…then, for their sake…I will live. I will live my life to the fullest…in their place! So that their sacrifice will never be forgotten, by myself or anyone else!"
Not waiting for her to reply, he began moving forward, toward an unknown but hopeful future.
A few minutes later, after climbing a steep ridge, he suddenly felt compelled to gaze behind him. Turning around and looking down, he noticed two figures approaching each other.
Against his will, Munakata smiled as he witnessed Makoto Naegi rushing toward Kyoko Kirigiri, enveloping her in what he assumed was the tightest embrace either of them would ever experience. Surprisingly, their reunion brought absolutely no feelings of jealousy or contempt.
Instead, from deep within his soul, Kyosuke Munakata felt hope spread through his entire being.
~ Hey Kyosuke, do you think they'll be alright? I'm kinda worried… ~
~ They'll be fine! Those two punks are too tenacious to die! Right, Munakata? ~
For a split second, Munakata swore he heard them…as if they stood right behind him. He felt the urge to turn and look for them…but he already knew the truth. Chisa and Juzo…they were always with him…forever by his side…the three of them…together.
"I'm sure they'll be fine," Munakata reassured, a smile breaking out on his face as he turned toward the horizon. "Now then…it's time for us to depart. Are you ready?"
~ Absolutely! ~
~ Right, let's do this thing! ~
And thus, Kyosuke Munakata set out on his journey of redemption…
The End
Greetings, my beautiful readers! This was an idea that's been eating away at me for a while and I finally put it to paper! I always felt bad for Munakata because he caused his own downfall while trying to do the right thing, and I wanted to express that. Plus, I always figured it would be kinda funny if he happened to run into Kyoko before she met up with Makoto at the very end.
Beyond that, I'm still working on more "Never Say Never" and a few other projects. I've incredibly the last few weeks because of work and haven't had time to really enjoy the holiday season! I hope that changes soon but for now, I'm on such a busy schedule that I get so little time to relax! Let alone write more! But I promise I'll get more stuff out for you all soon!
Either way, please leave a comment/review if you enjoy the story or just want to discuss anything about it! Have a great day and keep on smiling, my beautiful readers!