There Is No Walking Away
He had made mincemeat of her heart but she wandered back into their room and seated herself on a chair in the corner. Naughty child waiting to be chastised.
Fruitlessly, James ran a comb through his hair and turned to meet Lily's green eyes drowning in tears.
Humbled by the obvious hurt in her gaze, he made an effort to speak, 'I didn't mean it. You know I don't care if…' He paused and took a few deep breaths. There was a tightness in his throat caused by the sudden, irrational fear that he was losing Lily. Silly, of course. They were married. She was going to have his child. You can't just walk away from that.
'Lily, I don't care what they call me, blood- traitor or whatever it is and I do care that we're in danger but I would never blame you! I'd never regret our marriage, it's the best thing that ever happened to me! I'm only terribly worried for you. I.. I can't believe I said all that, and I'm sorry. I'd rather have you and be ostracised by the whole wizarding world than enjoy their approval alone.' It was the longest speech he'd ever made. What a whole lot of cheese it sounded like. It didn't feel the tiniest bit cheesy though, and he knew he owed Lily an apology. And now, it was her turn.
But Lily turned away, her tears cutting slow tracks down her cold cheeks. She got up from the chair and stepped quietly away from the room leaving James feeling crushed. True, their marriage had hit a rough patch now, but he couldn't believe she'd walk away from his apology like that. Without a word. Maybe she'd meant what she said about their unborn child. Maybe she'd never wanted it. Maybe it really had been a decision James had forced upon her. He heard her rattling around in the kitchen and hoped she wasn't doing anything strenuous. It was late in her pregnancy and she wasn't looking particularly healthy these days. Perhaps it was just the stress of having to stay cooped up indoors all the time and her hormones.
Her eyes were sunken in dark circles and she was bulky and ungainly. She never bothered brushing her once lustrous hair anymore and she never bothered picking out pretty dresses in the morning.
Nonetheless, she'd never stopped being beautiful. Whether she was sitting at the table breathing in the smell from her morning mug of coffee or she was curled up on the couch with a Wodehouse, her soft giggles filling the air with music.
He was interrupted in his ruminating by Lily's reappearance. She was holding out a mug of coffee for him, a weak smile lighting up her face.
'Peace offering', she said softly and sat down beside James on the bed.
'I want him as much as you do, James. That, you know. I'm sorry I was being such a melodramatic ass, it's the boredom that's getting to me.' James smiled happily, his dark forebodings banished.
'We could call him Harry', James said with a smile that tugged at Lily's eyes. 'Harry Potter eh? What a nasty, common name! Harry it is then!' Lily laughed.
Fin.