AN: I guess I've read too many death fics or what not...I seem to have the urge to write one. So here's an angst story with Sakura as the main character. This is rated M for: words, main plot of story, (and if you want to look at it on that way) romantic actions. And also I want an M rated fanfic…so here's my shot. And also it's cuz' i'm a crazy odd person! But those people make the world go around, no? oO
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto. GASP!
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Kunai
I looked at it from different points of view. With a delicate touch, I ran a finger on the sharp edge of the blade. Kunais. Ahh, what every ninja must have at lest 20 some of. Small and sharp, air dynamic and not that expensive, a kunai, weapon that can be used many ways.
To kill with.
To cut everyday things with.
To be a sign for a young child that they are powerful.
To cut things in half to make things easier.
To defend.
To tell people that you're serious.
To say that you've had it.
Don't get the last one? Don't have to, cuz' I'll tell you. Not many people would say the last usage that I listed would be for a kunai. But it has to do with the first thing that I listed.
I'm tired of being so-called weak, I'm tired of waiting for him, and I'm tired of not having anybody. Heck, Shino, Lee, and CHOJI have someone! But poor Sakura is left all alone. And screw the saying 'The pain will go away if you're patient and wait.' I'll screw that to hell! Waiting only made it harder for me!
And last of, I'll tell you what I tired of the most: smiling!!!!!! It's always a fake one that no one can see that pain underneath. Sai even brushes it off. And he's like, the master at hiding feelings. Mostly cuz' he doesn't have any, but you know what I mean! I'm all alone, and last time I let out my feelings, well…Naruto picked me up, threw me over his shoulder, ran to Tsunade, and demanded a therapy session. NO WAY IN HELL am I going through that again. And it made him worry…so much… save that for Hinata, Naruto. She deserves it, not poor little ole' me.
So here I sit under a cherry blossom tree my dear, in the snow holding a kunai in a pastel green sun dress. Yes, a pastel green sun dress. It fit; the color of my eyes, and my favorite dress from my favorite season.
It was all a sad poem. A Sakura tree is always bare after the spring, and I was on the inside. That innocence is bliss, till' its lost. Mine went away, and I had lost it when I saw that one thing a month ago. It was a permanent scar to my mind. And emotions.
Nothing but blood. I did see him once, and it was a month ago. He stood there looking at his victims that had been begging for mercy until he, with a quick flick of his wrist, had sliced off their heads with no second thoughts probley. He just stood there as if somebody was taking his picture, with his sword brought up against the side of his arm, looking down at the lifeless bodies. Then he chuckled, and smirked an oh-so evil smirk. He had lost it. Completely. He wasn't the Sasuke-kun that used to save me cuz' I was an 'important person' to him. The person I saw before me had no important people but if you referred it to people who gave him weapons for a good price, or were a spy that he just killed in the end. Aka: an evil-power-thirsty-blood-lusting-jerk.
And I lost it. I lost him. I lost that one person I had always seen a small sliver of goodness in and always hoped to see it again. I lost a person to love. Cuz' as I said, the Sasuke-kun that I loved was lost, gone, and would never come back. He was the one reason I had held on for so long, and he went away for good. I didn't report him after I saw him killing the poor shinobi. Ok, I know I should have, but I just didn't. I didn't feel up to telling Tsunade and not doing something. Crying, puking, shaking, stuttering, nothing. I'd just break down or something.
And be a fool.
So here I sit my friend. Telling myself to leave them, cease the pain, stop being a pester, stop being so weak. I don't care if I ever beat Tsunde, and I'm considered the strongest kunoichi ever, that's in physical. I'm completely weak in the emotional area. Until you are strong in BOTH areas, then I'll think of you not weak. And that goes for me too, and see? To prove it even more, I just can't be brave, strong, and grab life by the horns. I'm going to runaway. But is that not all I know how to do with things?
So here I go away world. Away to a place to where I can pretend all I want, and not feel so bad about it. Cuz' pretending is all I know too. And it's always been that way. Not like anything was ever worth pretending. Cuz' tonight all I'm going to do is end it.
Sitting up straighter, I hold the kunai up to the moon, holding far away enough to make it look small enough it fit perfectly into the full moon's vertical middle. Smiling a sweet smile of mine, this time with the outline of sadness shown, I bring it down and put it closely to my left wrist. Hesitating for a second, and telling myself to just do it.
I slit it.
Of course right then, the blood comes up and falls down the side of my wrist. It some of it lands on my dress, but I could care less. While going into the snow, it spreads to fast, I watch it. Don't worry, I couldn't feel the sting of the cut or the snow's coldness, I was too numb from forcing myself to sit in the snow so long in a dress to feel anything. Then turning my head to my right wrist, I switch the kunai into my left and slit the right one. It did the same as the left as the blood escaped my veins. I leaned my head backwards against the tree trunk, and gazed at the moon. Casting bare tree's shadows against the whit snow blissful wonder to make a wonder's of the world sight.
Knowing that I wasn't done, I took the kunai and thrashed it through my stomach. I winched at the pain, but told myself to just ignore the pain. That's all I needed to do: ignore that pain.
So after a while and things start to faze, I heard something. No, must ignore! But being a quizzical person I am, I try to turn my head to see who it is. Cuz' of my weakened sate, trying to sense their chakra would be pointless. But I really couldn't see who it was anyways, and it didn't matter, I could feel death's grip getting to me.
"Sakura" a deep rich voice came from across from me. I jerked my head forward and there I see two red eyes peering at me from a dark shadowy outline of a man's body in the shadows. I didn't do a thing. I didn't gasp. I didn't start to cry. I didn't look angry, I didn't look sad. I just looked hurt, but painless. Cuz' that was what I was. Too numb.
Sasuke walked over to me and titled his head somewhat sideways. He then crouched down and looked at me straight in the eyes.
"How long have you been here like this?"
'Why would you care?' I asked him right back in my mind, but kept that in my mind.
"About 10-15 mins. I don't know, kinda hard to keep time when you're trying to die, and time seems to go so slow." What a poet I am.
"Why?"
"I just answered that all in my head, not gonna say it again to deaf ears."
"Deaf ears?"
"Yes, deaf ears. Stop acting; you don't care. You know it, and I know it. Leave, now. Last thing I planned was seeing you. But if you want to be the one to tell them I'm gone, then do so." My sight was getting fairly fuzzy even more.
"Why would I want to?"
"To maybe not be so much of a jerk. No go away, I don't want to spend the last moments of my life arguing with you!" I gave him a sharp glare.
"Fine, but I get to do one last thing." I raised an eyebrow.
"Oh really? Well, what ever, just do it and leave."
"Ok." He smirked and leaned closer.
'What the hell?!'
He didn't only press his lips to mine, he moved them. And getting the fact that, indeed, Sasuke Uchiha was kissing me, I just well…kissed him back. He then demanded with his tongue to let him in, and I allowed him. Again, kissing, no, frenching him back, I tried not to feel any of the bliss that he implied on me. I was dieing for Pete's sake! You kiss, less French, a dieing person, but of course, Sasuke you never did, and ever will listen to logic. Yosh...
We finally separated. And had our fore-heads against each others. My sight may be bad, but man I was memorized by his endless depths of the dark onyx pools that he had for eyes. And afar in those eyes were something. I couldn't exactly put my finger on it, but there was a spark of, oh, I don't, could it possibly be; passion? Or was it longing-ness?
"Sasuke-kun." I whispered. Maybe, it was sanity that I had thought he had long ago lost.
"Sakura." He whispered back to me. He closed his eyes, and put a quick kiss on my lips and started to lean away. But I lodged my head forward and captured his lips again. Fine, kiss me. But don't you dare kiss me, and make me watch you leave as your back to my face walking away! I'll take my last breath from due of lack of oxygen from kissing you!
I separated real quick, pulled my now bloody kunai out of me, wiped it off on my dress, and slipped it in his kunai holster on his thy. Then of course, I went right back to kissing. Sasuke pushed me backwards gently against the tree again after a while. I really could feel it all turning dark. I smiled.
"So retrieve that clan, ok? Name one of them Izumi, I always liked that name." I dreamily said. Sasuke actually smiled, but a sad smile and nodded.
"But don't you dare marry a sluttly whore! Cuz'...cuz'...ai." I said. It didn't matter what I said, I was losing sanity to death. My head suddenly felt limp, and it did go limp and it lolled to my side. I smiled one last time, and closed my eyes. And a real smile this time mind you, no fakeness shown.
"Take care of that kunai." I whispered before I couldn't feel, taste, see, hear, smell anything.
Sasuke took out the kunai and ran his fingers over the word engraved.
Sakura
But two months later it said:
Sakura Uchiha, and forever will be
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AN: Ok...it's out of my head! That took a while to type. Really, it was about 30 mins worth of typing. But me constantly pressing the replay button on Rihanna's song 'Umbrella', and sometimes just sitting there, not typing, but singing along with the song, made it go longer. Well, hope it was, ok. Not expecting much. Want to review, sure! Go ahead. I'll still go all happy.
Purplecherry5.Nancy-chan