My Real Mind
By Dot Matrix
This was written exremly late one night. It shows my true feelings about who I am and why. I don't know how this was even formed...I didn't even have a thought in my head. I think if more people wrote like this we would understand things better. This is my personal favorite writing. Does it seem to be finished? Hardly. My life is not over yet. Maybe one day I'll find what calls me. Then I'll update this.
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Standing infront of a crowd of real people, your eyes would pass over me. I would be part of the unreconizable number of people. If I could make you stop and look at me, you would notice the dark rings under my eyes... the haunted look that decorates my features. The need to complete what ever I'm not doing if I'm standing there.
The wired calls me and the need to know consumes my life.
Infront of a computer screen in a dark room, the bright perfectness of a computer glows forward unto a person. Ulminating the facil features. Words are hastily being typed on to the perfectness. Destroying the beauty, but it cannot be helped. The extreme pressure to find what shows the way is terrifing.
Stacks of equitment litter the room. The shelfs are full of miscallaneus wires and the broken. Shouldn't the person be ashamed of the chaos around them? The chaos represents that persons life. Wired forever calls. What the mind can assemble through hints and clues from the world is enough to make the focoused relize exactly where they are, and how they are.
Thinking clearly is a task that you will be able to remeber. That one presious second when everything comes into view and you make the adjustments to the world. When you see clearly what you are doing, and you ask yourself why this is going on. Then sudden and intense pressure cascades through your mind. You forget what you relized, in the suddenness of everything. If you are able to hold off that pressure, the world comes into focus. It is a realtzation everything.
If I can't find what I am looking for? What will happen to me? Panic ripples through my body at that fear. Will I ever find what I am looking for? What is it that calls me and makes me search? I don't think I'll ever know. I can't find it. It excapes my every movement of search. I know I'll fall, and bring down my one chance for finding it. It laughs and taunts me.
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........just another voice in the wired....
If this even sparked a little bit of intrest, REVIEW. Is that so much to ask in a world full of questions?