The Clock Tower Guild

Or

Why The Zeltrech Excuse Shouldn't Work.

…

A/N: In one of my earlier works that I have yet to update, my route of reincarnating a certain protagonist was questioned. Even though the entire plot device essentially allowed insight into my chosen main character's mindset, many argued that it could have been done better by blaming a certain inter-dimensional vampire.

I pursued that particular avenue of thought whilst burning the manuscript that contained the entire plot of the story, and to be frank it sits as my most popular story despite the fact I will never update it again. Yay.

Four or so months later, I finally decide to look explain all this with the simple statement:

If Zeltrech wanted to f_ck around, do you think that he'd just send one person to another world?

We all know that answer to that.

…

"Good evening," A rather plump and slowly balding man stated whilst dressed in an immaculate suit. Despite his manager's attempts for him to get a toupee and lose weight, this particular man worked his job with the same countenance for thirteen years and quite frankly if the newsman's ex-wife couldn't manage to it, his manager had the chance of a fresh juvenile delinquent in his first jail sentence of getting out of his first shower as a virgin. The man's iron will in his decision was only surmounted by his love of British Cuisine, and we all know such men are beyond any saving. "A massive number of sink holes has been reported to suddenly emerge within the country of Britain, details are forthcoming about casualties, but optimistic reports favor none due to the lack of buildings in the area due to the buyouts of a certain company years ago for future cultivation. There has yet to be any declaration from the company, but it is of general consensus that they will not be pleased by their sunk land values."

Had the owner of the particular company in question still been present in the world, the man would've found his career shaken and stirred until he was sent to the division that talked about internet cats. But day of days for this magnanimous and thoroughly disgusting individual, most of the stockholders that would initiated such trickery to gain favor with said CEO was also no longer present in the world. Such things were to go unnoticed for years to come however, but this particular news report, stated by this pudgy man for a mere thirty seconds on national television, would be the only declaration of the sudden loss of most of the Magic Users of Earth.

Needless to say, once this was all found out, the UK made sure to have far better looking newscasters in all its stations, on the off chance that something like it could occur again. Nothing is quite worse than having its most famous citizen in the twenty first century being a balding, chubby man that refused to acknowledge his need for a dashing toupee and a penchant for bad puns.

The man would later go on a diet, don a dashing toupee, and marry someone ten years younger than him and generally flourish under the limelight.

Though this story isn't about him, it was certainly an interesting way to find out that Zeltrech teleported the entirety of the Clock Tower to another dimension, eh?

…

Shirou Emiya had the oddest privilege of being the only magus in the entirety of the Clock Tower to be able to step outside and not suddenly spontaneously combust. Understandably, this was completely by accident and he was harshly reprimanded by a rather large group of people. On an off note, this large group of people was noted, out loud, to be comprised mostly of women by a passerby. Said passerby was noted to be the thirtieth member of the Clock Tower to spontaneously combust in the new atmosphere of the world, mere seconds after the rescue of the twenty ninth by Shirou Emiya.

Testing was done, and with all the resources of the Tower brought to bear, a piece of knowledge almost everyone knew was brought to bear as his ability to be able to step outside and not burst into flames.

Many a jaw dropped when it was realized that because of the decrepit nature of his circuits, Shirou Emiya's body and soul was able to enter the new, heavily magically saturated dimension they now resided within. Much to the chagrin of the only man able to traverse the new world, however, a Sealing Designation was very nearly placed on him on the subject of Prana Study that very nearly went through due to the support of a rather large, mostly female group. It was only due to the intervention of the man himself, and a rather rapt speech on the matter of exploring their new dimension that convinced the entire group, that saved the young man from a lifetime of Prana experiments.

Though the speech didn't stop a certain heiress from attempting to overfill him with Prana and cause him to spontaneously combust each time he was sent out to gather samples of the atmosphere. It was only until their mutual lover stepped outside, and found herself overcharged with power, that the forced nookies stopped and Shirou Emiya was allowed to traverse the new world as he was required, albeit with a super-human being next to him, but he couldn't exactly complain because he was getting rather sore.

Much to the surprise of every Magus, it was found out that Zeltrech's declaration of sending the entirety of the Clock Tower to a new dimension had not been over stated in the slightest. The two explorers, found and accounted for each and every institution and underground lab on the attributed to the Clock Tower. The number of lands seamlessly mashed together, by the Director of the Clock Tower, atop a massive plateau that went a mile into the sky.

It didn't take long, about three weeks, for the Clock Tower to finally analyze and figure out a method for most of their population to start traversing the new world without being burned to a crisp. Subsequently, this was also the first time Shirou Emiya managed to successfully scale the mile-high piece of earth that the Clock Tower sat upon, and made contact with the very confused inhabitants in the town below.

Much to the surprise of mostly everyone, save Zeltrech since he knew exactly what he was doing, Mage's were common things in this new world and they enjoyed a form of government and utilized their powers to participate in quests commissioned by the mundane governments.

Much to the chagrin of many a Lord, they were prohibited from seceding from the Clock Tower by the ridiculously entertained Director, who was more than interested in spending time in the institution he barely visited the last two millennia, and their dreams of ruling their own, small fiefdoms were crushed.

In the midst of this all, Shirou Emiya should've been able to retire back to his new home and start a restaurant. The restaurant would've undoubtedly been popular given the fact he spent the last five years traversing the globe helping people, and picked up recipe haggling as a hobby. The red-haired man would've cornered the market, and gone on to make the Tohaska family rich once more and lived a happy, tranquil life.

But in the light of the fact that most familiars tended to combust into fireballs due to the massive amounts of magic in the new world, an explorer was still needed, as well as the only being able to converse with the natives thanks to some rather obscure magic, Shirou Emiya was commissioned by Zeltrech himself to traverse the new world under the supervision of his second-in-command.

Needless to say, no one was particularly pleased by this and Zeltrech liked it that way.

…

Shirou Emiya didn't care too much about the clothing that was supposed to protect him from the strong, magical eddies of the new world. The fairly aristocratic clothing was quite eye-catching, and drew the suspicion of locals. Suspicious locals usually led to questions, and questions led to fights, and fights generally led to running through some harsh environment whilst carrying a cute girl on your back with a few dozen monsters after you. The aspiring, young man's thought process could've been contested, but the number of somewhat lewd photo's he had in possession as evidence would've made some men want to gain suspicion of the locals.

The clothing, designed and made in the Clock Tower, was made to the express fact of sealing out the excess magic in the air, and with his decrepit circuitry, Shirou Emiya didn't require it at all. For that matter, neither did his shorter companion, but they both wore it for the excess reason that they couldn't risk not having spares for the third member of their party.

Barthomeloi Lorelei, having more Blue Blood Circuits than Zeltrech himself, would probably explode in contact with the magical environment and ignite the entire forest they were traversing without question. That would lead to inquiries by the local government, and quite frankly inquiries of the local government never ended quite as well as suspicion of the locals. The few times such things occurred out of his control, Shirou Emiya found himself allying with the local resistance group he never knew existed and ending up toppling the local warlord/dictator.

Quite frankly be a waste of time to state all the situations that could end up with Shirou Emiya as the hero of the day, and let's just leave it alone for now.

"Mr. Emiya." The dulcet tones of the strongest mage in existence inquired the very-attentive magus. "How much farther is this village you spoke of?"

Ignoring the fact that the woman who could smash men into atoms basically asked, 'are we there yet?', Shirou Emiya turned to his other companion without hesitation, golden eyes meeting green.

"We are a few miles away." The Servant of the Sword, Arturia Pendragon stated with a nod towards her old master. The old human habits of traversing land on foot was lost to the modern magi, but not to the youthful Once And Future King of Britain. Saber was required more for her cartography skills than her fighting skills which suited the situation in any case, since neither Rin or Shirou wanted it to be known that she was an ancient hero. "Another hour of this pace will be sufficient in getting us there in a timely manner."

"I grow weary of this." The strongest mage present stated with an inflection of irritability. Both her companions knew better than to point this out, and that was doing a remarkably good job of lengthening their chances of surviving while traversing the grounds with her. "I wish to travel faster."

The last statement was a tad petulant, the two swordsmen noted, an eerie feeling of foreboding capturing them as they slowly realized that they had no idea who Barthomeloi Lorelei was beyond her apparent invincibility. The factors of a lavish life filled with the best the world had to offer also came to the minds of the two, and they hoped against all the evidence they were beginning to see that the woman with the ability to destroy entire armies could not possibly be the slightest bit-

"Carry me and hasten this journey, Mr. Emiya." The Queen of Clock Tower, demanded irrefutably, and her order was swiftly followed by said man. Due to the clothing designed in mind of keeping out the rampant magics of the new world, there was little for Shirou Emiya to accidentally grab, and for that he was thankful for the thickness of the coat. "This should do well to alleviate my hampering of our travel."

If the fact was to be said, that carrying her in his arms would hamper his speed in any way, it went unsaid. The case would have been true in the previous world, as Shirou Emiya's circuitry most certainly was not the best and carrying a person whilst traveling under the effects of Reinforcement still needed the expenditure of magic for the weight to be accounted for. As his own clothing wasn't sealed up, as was the case with the other swordsman of the group, his access to magic wasn't bound and he received the only form of magic available in the world through the atmosphere freely.

There were circumstances the group didn't understand (Shirou), never knew about,( Saber), or didn't care about, (Barthomeloi), that was being aggressively debated, studied, and theorized in the many think tanks of Clock Tower. The most widely accepted, yet still hotly debated, answer to this was that Zeltrech did not in fact take the Root of All Magic with them in the inter-dimensional jaunt, leaving their circuits to receive power from the new source of magic in the world.

The new source of magic just so happens to be four times stronger than that of the source that most were understandably used to, and, in short, attempting to access any form of magic from the old world was disastrous due to the simple fact that it blew up in most people's faces due to being quite ludicrously overcharged. In terms that would never be used by any mage of note, it would be the same as attempting to recharge a phone with a charger that had an output four times higher than its receiver could handle. The battery could hold the power, as evidenced from the ludicrous levels of power, but there was a serious overflow that tended to try and enter the body as well, leading to… spontaneous combustion, much to the amusement of the man who caused all of it to occur.

The clothing Lorelei Barthomeloi donned was undoubtedly the best of the prototypes made in mind towards limiting the flow of magic, but it worked with the staple that she mustn't use magic and provide an entrance for a sudden overcharge. Of course this only applied to small things, such as simple reinforcement since the magic that would undoubtedly enter would be far more than what was used, the woman carried by Shirou Emiya was free to use her strongest spells at the merest of her behests and so long as she utilized them in multitudes she never dreamed of beforehand. Where once upon a time the Queen had to use her spells to the utmost efficiency, she was now required to utilized them for as much cost as she could possibly muster.

This fact terrified a large number of the populace of the Clock Tower, and the increasing numbers of supporters for Zeltrech had only increased when she was sent out to investigate the new lands.

Shirou Emiya knew that the woman in his arms had basically been nuclear warhead in the old world, was now, in fact, a delivery system for multiple warheads and he wasn't fond of the thought of her being one of the representatives of Clock Tower.

…

"I do not think she is suitable for this diplomatic mission, Shirou." Saber whispered to said man. Both of them were sitting in the village square, taking care to not draw attention by making themselves inconspicuous. This failed, as both of them expected, but the action was aimed to create a level of empathy with the villagers. The number of mothers shooing away their children, and wives pulling away their husbands made it quite apparent that it was succeeding.

Then came the fact that mere miles away their third party member was clearing out a part of the forest with barely controlled power.

"We were hired to clear away the forest for farmland." Shirou pointed out with no small amount of trepidation. Arguing had never been his strong suit when he was a few years younger, and he certainly didn't get better at it as he grew older. Of course this was his own opinion, and when considering the fact that he could argue with an old king and a rather hard-headed heiress there was little to be said about the fact that he was quite good at arguing his own point, just not when he believed it mattered. "She's being pretty effective at it…"

"Lady Barthomeloi is scaring the villagers out of their wits." His companion stated with no small amount of ferocity, Shirou surmised that it must be because the peasantry of the age reminded her much of her old subjects and she was adamant in protecting them. "There is little to be gained from gaining the fear of villagers, Shirou."

"Well," Shirou scratched the back of his head, taking care not to tip off his wide-brimmed hat. The weather in the new world was rather sunny, almost every day, and the heat of the new sun made cooling clothing a must. The magic swordsman knew a simpler method would be to simply wear less clothing, as the populace seemed to do, but the Clock Tower wanted a sort of dignified approach rather than him traipsing about in his jeans and shirt. "They don't actually seem all too surprised, or scared about what she's doing."

Shirou pointed at the gathering of cheering crowds on the numerous balconies of the town, judging by the direction they were cheering on the toppling of trees in the distance.

"Maybe they react differently to magic around here?" Shirou surmised halfheartedly, noting the number of people running towards the event. "I'd hazard that with all the guilds they have, they must be pretty used to magic enough that they see it like entertainment in some ways." The red-haired man gave a shrug as Saber huffed, slightly lost for words.

"Mister Emiya! Lady Saber!" A voice cried out suddenly, over the din of thunderous fallings of trees and the cheers of the populace. A portly fellow wearing a top hat and clothing befitting a stereotypical dress of a mayor reached them, breathlessly. "You must come quickly! The guards have sighted the monsters of the forest congregating to assault our town!"

Ever the pragmatist Saber inquired, "Why are they doing such things?" as Shirou immediately stood upright from his seat. The look Saber gave him easily got him back to sitting position, shifting the entirety of the dealing only to herself. Had it occurred with any other person, Shirou would've thought that the entire thing was planned so that he could've not messed up the negotiations, but with Saber he knew that it came naturally.

"The monsters know that when we cut down forests that our men aren't ready for battle." The mayor pleaded, clasping hands together in worry. Shirou couldn't place whether the man was acting or not, so he did his level best to stop himself from leaping to the town's defense immediately. Needless to say, he wasn't very good at it, and it was only Saber's force of will that made it so that the mayor did not see Shirou's inner struggle. "We need your help to drive them back!"

"All your men are currently free from their assigned duties." Saber swiftly pointed out, "They are not cutting down trees, so our aid should not be required to handle this matter." The master diplomat leveled a rather cruel smile at the mayor, and Shirou had to remind himself that Saber would sooner die that let innocent blood be spilled. "Our assigned contract stipulated only the cutting down of trees, not the defense of the entire town against an army of monsters."

The mayor paled lightly, and Shirou pondered on whether he was thinking about sending his men to fight, or the amount of money that will be charged to ascertain their aid. Saber had managed to haggle the clearing of the forest into a payment of a thousand of the world's currency for every ten trees cleared forest cleared, up from a mere three hundred. When considering the fact a good meal, for Shirou, was a hundred of the world's currency, the amount was quite substantial.

When considering the fact that Saber also planned on taking all the lumber to the summit of the plateau the Clock Tower was situated in, possibly not even to the knowledge of the mayor himself, Shirou frankly pitied the poor man and could only feel worse as Saber began to haggle the price for every monster slain at his has hands.

Quite frankly, Saber was staying hidden by simply playing herself off as a below average mage, like himself and carrying around cartography equipment on her back. Shirou, Rin, and Saber all agreed it would be for the best that she still hide her true nature from the Clock Tower, and only appear as a resource that was desperately needed, which was in all cases, a barterer, cartographer and an expert in surmounting written agreements.

The new world will never see her coming, and Shirou rightly feared for the ruling monarchs of this world.

Still Shirou didn't exactly want to listen to haggling while there were people in danger, so he hazarded that he should do something. Since he didn't particularly like his odds of no angering his companion, he pondered on what a conniving, sneaky, underhanded person would do in the situation to get what he wanted.

So what would Rin do… Shirou Emiya pondered, as the roars of beasts emanated in the distance.

"Mister," A small child tugged on the hem of his coat. The child's eyes were wide with happiness and elation, thoroughly unaware of the dangers that was being discussed. "Can you carry me so I can see the magic?-"

Shirou's eyes lit up, mind whirring according to the mindset he had chosen. The little girl fell a sudden chill go down her spine, should she have been asked to describe the moment, she would've said she saw an unholy light within the eyes of Shirou Emiya.

Cute child, theoretical danger to town, Saber's code of honor: Exploit ruthlessly!

In her lab in the Clock Tower, Rin Tohaska felt the need to punch someone. She made the mistake of punching the wall.

The swordsman quickly picked up the little girl, who was now thinking along the lines of 'maybe this wasn't such a good idea…' and presented her right into the faces of the haggling politicians.

Needless to say, both of them were surprised.

"Shirou." Saber stated slowly, making gestures with her hands. The same gestures were used when Saber was facing a losing argument against Rin, Shirou took this as a good sign. "Put the child down."

"…" The mayor was speechless, maybe it was because of the fact the child's foot was in his mouth or some more perverted fantasy, but he was most certainly speechless.

Needless to say, despite the fact his mindset was currently thinking line Rin Tohaska, he most certainly lacked the grace and eleganc-

Pfffttt….

Oh let's just forget that part.

"Look at this child, Saber." Shirou emphasized his argument by shaking the subject, something both the mayor and the child didn't particularly welcome. Though both of them could agree that his method of argument was rather well put. "Look at how afraid she is… Look at the fear in her eyes."

The blond knight attempted to speak, but as Shirou lined up his own pleading face next to the child's own, she merely pressed the bridge of her nose as she shook her head.

Shirou pumped up his fist as he saw the gestures, they were usually followed capitulation and/or undressing, and since Saber was far more prudish than Rin, Shirou doubted that it was the latter.

(In the Clock Tower)

"How long is she going to keep muttering 'baka' under her breath?"

"Don't question her methods, it's probably an oriental concentration spell."

(Back Outside)

"Go ahead, Shirou." Saber sighed, slightly mourning on the loss of income due to her lover's doing. Though she knew well enough, that if she played her cards right, it wouldn't be a problem for her to exploit the oddity that had just been displayed. "I'll keep talking to the mayor while you have your fun."

Perfect amounts of implications in that last statement, a mixture of connotations to the lack of sanity of her lover, his large sums of power, and her control over him. Even if the Mayor before her was an imbecile he would've picked up on the fact that she had Shirou at her whims, needless to say that if he wasn't in both cases he would be far more free with his currency.

So the birth of the Clock Tower guild began that day, with its three foremost members all doing as they will do for years to come: scaring the native populace of many towns, and having their sanity doubted.

As depressing as it is to reveal, this made them quite a bit more normal and far more preferable than quite a large amount of the other guilds. Not that they would mind the competition.

…