I of the Mourning
Song fic
Angelica Diablo
Disclaimer: I don't own the Ronins. The Smashing Pumpkins wrote the song. I know
the spelling is weird, but that's how Billy Corgan wrote it.
"Radio
Play my favourite song
Radio, radio
Radio, I'm alone
Radio, radio
Radio, please don't go
Radio…"
Why was she even here? She didn't know. She brushed her red hair out of her eyes in a
single motion as she knelt in the dust. She knew she should have cleaned this place out
long ago, but she'd put off going up into the attic for two years. It had been two years
since the battle with Tulpa. It was two years of dust that were now caked on the knees
of her jeans.
"I peer thru curtains on empty streets
Behind a wall of caller i.d.
No one's out there
To hear if I care
About the troubles in the air…"
She'd had a strange feeling tugging in the back of her mind, urging her to come up here
today. The house seemed so empty when the guys were gone. She found herself
wishing she had class today, but it was a day off work.
"Take the day to unwind Mia. You've been acting stressed out lately." Ryo had told
her. She'd nodded and agreed with him. He'd shoed the others out of the house for the
day. "To give you some peace from having five guys traipsing all over your house."
He'd said.
Well, she could use a little background noise today. Today, when the memories of
Anubis were filling her mind.
"As I of the mourning now come
Pick up where my thoughts left off
'Cause I'm home to die on my own
As my radio plays my favourite song…"
She lifted the top off the old trunk before her and peered inside. There were a few
notebooks, some folded pieces of paper, and other small reminders she'd kept locked
away from view. Out of sight out of mind, right?
Not quite.
"Radio
Don't you know?
Radio, radio
That radio, I'm alone…"
The notebooks were all filled with sketches she'd done of Anubis. Small things she'd
written about him. The words and this paper were the only tangible things left to prove
Anubis had ever existed. These things, and her memories. These, and nothing more.
"I blow the dust off my guitars
In the attic with the stars
I read your letters
To feel better
My tears upon the fading ink…"
She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't cry. She was starting to cry.
She dropped the folder in her hands back in the trunk. It's gaping mouth reminded her
of an open grave. She held her face in her hands and forced herself to dry her tears.
This was ridiculous; it had been two years after all. She shouldn't miss him this much,
she should get on and find some one else. She was living in the same house with five
perfectly eligible young men after all, even if they were a bit younger than her. Moving
on shouldn't be this hard. Whoever had written the book of love needed some serious
counseling.
"As I of the morning now gone
Pick up where my thoughts left off
'Cause I'm home to die on my own
As my radio plays my favourite song…"
Her head snapped up in surprise as the lid of the trunk fell shut with a loud clap. "How
on earth…?" She wondered out loud, her tears had been startled out of her for the
moment. There was no draft up here, there was no reason for the lid to have closed on
it's own. A shiver traveled down her spine as she looked around, her eyes closely
searching all the dark and shadowy corners of her room.
"I sit in the dark light
To wait for ghost night
To bring the past alive
To make a toast to life
'Cause I have survived…"
Mia held her breath, she could have sworn she had heard someone else in the room with
her.
"Ryo?"
No answer.
"Cye?"
Still no answer.
"Rowen?"
Silence
"Sage?"
Same.
"Kento?"
Nothing.
"White Blaze?" She knew she was grasping at straws with that one. She would have
noticed if the tiger was around. She sat there for a moment longer, then stood and left.
She practically bounded down the stairs and all the way to her bedroom. There she sat
on her bed and looked around.
"Calm down." She ordered herself. She knew she was over reacting. "There has to be a
logical reason for why that trunk's lid slammed down like that. You're just spooking
yourself you know."
"What is it you want?
What is it you want to change?
What is it you want?
What is it you want to change…"
She found herself going stir crazy just sitting there in the totally silent house. She knew
she should settle down and do some work at home, but she knew in the mood she was
in she wouldn't even be able to concentrate on that. Finally she got up and hit the "on"
button on her music system as she walked by it to her stack of CDs.
The song was playing. It was the song she'd heard playing in her mind when she first
befriended Anubis. It was the song she'd always been to chicken to ask him to dance to
whenever it came on the radio during the brief time he was at her house. It was a song
the local station hadn't played in almost two years, as it had lost it's gleam in the
public's eye.
She found herself just standing there and staring at the machine as if it were the only
thing in the universe beside herself. As if it were a lifeline, her only connection to
something outside of her prison.
The song came to an end, and she walked over and turned the machine off. The tension
that had been gripping here seemed to have faded, along with the final chord. She
didn't want to hear any more. The house seemed to have heaved a great sigh as she
stood there for a moment longer, as if waiting for something more to happen. It was
over. Whatever it had been, it was over.
She turned and walked out of the room and into her study down the hall. She sat down
in front of her computer and got to work, like she should have been doing all along.
******************************
From his invisible perch, Anubis watched her go about her business again. He smiled
faintly as he heard a car pull up in front of the house. "Young Wildfire's home." He
said to himself. There was a moment's hesitation as he watched Mia going through a
file searching for some misplaced document of some sort. He knew she'd find it in good
time, as she always did. He nodded once to some thought that had brushed through his
mind as he left. He knew he may have to return again some day, but for now he knew
her mind was at rest.
******************************
"Ryo? Is that you?" Mia called from her study as soon as she heard the front door open.
"Yeah! How'd you know it was me?" He replied, calling up to her as he took his shoes
off.
Mia shrugged and didn't even look up from what she was typing. "I don't know…" She
said.
"Hey Mia, mind if I put on some music?" He asked as he walked into the living room.
Mia's hands faltered over the keyboard for a moment before she answered, "Sure, but
put on a CD will ya?" She called down to him.
"Alright!" It wasn't that unusual a request. He turned on the music and flopped down
on the couch.
"What do you want to change
Radio?"
Song fic
Angelica Diablo
Disclaimer: I don't own the Ronins. The Smashing Pumpkins wrote the song. I know
the spelling is weird, but that's how Billy Corgan wrote it.
"Radio
Play my favourite song
Radio, radio
Radio, I'm alone
Radio, radio
Radio, please don't go
Radio…"
Why was she even here? She didn't know. She brushed her red hair out of her eyes in a
single motion as she knelt in the dust. She knew she should have cleaned this place out
long ago, but she'd put off going up into the attic for two years. It had been two years
since the battle with Tulpa. It was two years of dust that were now caked on the knees
of her jeans.
"I peer thru curtains on empty streets
Behind a wall of caller i.d.
No one's out there
To hear if I care
About the troubles in the air…"
She'd had a strange feeling tugging in the back of her mind, urging her to come up here
today. The house seemed so empty when the guys were gone. She found herself
wishing she had class today, but it was a day off work.
"Take the day to unwind Mia. You've been acting stressed out lately." Ryo had told
her. She'd nodded and agreed with him. He'd shoed the others out of the house for the
day. "To give you some peace from having five guys traipsing all over your house."
He'd said.
Well, she could use a little background noise today. Today, when the memories of
Anubis were filling her mind.
"As I of the mourning now come
Pick up where my thoughts left off
'Cause I'm home to die on my own
As my radio plays my favourite song…"
She lifted the top off the old trunk before her and peered inside. There were a few
notebooks, some folded pieces of paper, and other small reminders she'd kept locked
away from view. Out of sight out of mind, right?
Not quite.
"Radio
Don't you know?
Radio, radio
That radio, I'm alone…"
The notebooks were all filled with sketches she'd done of Anubis. Small things she'd
written about him. The words and this paper were the only tangible things left to prove
Anubis had ever existed. These things, and her memories. These, and nothing more.
"I blow the dust off my guitars
In the attic with the stars
I read your letters
To feel better
My tears upon the fading ink…"
She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't cry. She was starting to cry.
She dropped the folder in her hands back in the trunk. It's gaping mouth reminded her
of an open grave. She held her face in her hands and forced herself to dry her tears.
This was ridiculous; it had been two years after all. She shouldn't miss him this much,
she should get on and find some one else. She was living in the same house with five
perfectly eligible young men after all, even if they were a bit younger than her. Moving
on shouldn't be this hard. Whoever had written the book of love needed some serious
counseling.
"As I of the morning now gone
Pick up where my thoughts left off
'Cause I'm home to die on my own
As my radio plays my favourite song…"
Her head snapped up in surprise as the lid of the trunk fell shut with a loud clap. "How
on earth…?" She wondered out loud, her tears had been startled out of her for the
moment. There was no draft up here, there was no reason for the lid to have closed on
it's own. A shiver traveled down her spine as she looked around, her eyes closely
searching all the dark and shadowy corners of her room.
"I sit in the dark light
To wait for ghost night
To bring the past alive
To make a toast to life
'Cause I have survived…"
Mia held her breath, she could have sworn she had heard someone else in the room with
her.
"Ryo?"
No answer.
"Cye?"
Still no answer.
"Rowen?"
Silence
"Sage?"
Same.
"Kento?"
Nothing.
"White Blaze?" She knew she was grasping at straws with that one. She would have
noticed if the tiger was around. She sat there for a moment longer, then stood and left.
She practically bounded down the stairs and all the way to her bedroom. There she sat
on her bed and looked around.
"Calm down." She ordered herself. She knew she was over reacting. "There has to be a
logical reason for why that trunk's lid slammed down like that. You're just spooking
yourself you know."
"What is it you want?
What is it you want to change?
What is it you want?
What is it you want to change…"
She found herself going stir crazy just sitting there in the totally silent house. She knew
she should settle down and do some work at home, but she knew in the mood she was
in she wouldn't even be able to concentrate on that. Finally she got up and hit the "on"
button on her music system as she walked by it to her stack of CDs.
The song was playing. It was the song she'd heard playing in her mind when she first
befriended Anubis. It was the song she'd always been to chicken to ask him to dance to
whenever it came on the radio during the brief time he was at her house. It was a song
the local station hadn't played in almost two years, as it had lost it's gleam in the
public's eye.
She found herself just standing there and staring at the machine as if it were the only
thing in the universe beside herself. As if it were a lifeline, her only connection to
something outside of her prison.
The song came to an end, and she walked over and turned the machine off. The tension
that had been gripping here seemed to have faded, along with the final chord. She
didn't want to hear any more. The house seemed to have heaved a great sigh as she
stood there for a moment longer, as if waiting for something more to happen. It was
over. Whatever it had been, it was over.
She turned and walked out of the room and into her study down the hall. She sat down
in front of her computer and got to work, like she should have been doing all along.
******************************
From his invisible perch, Anubis watched her go about her business again. He smiled
faintly as he heard a car pull up in front of the house. "Young Wildfire's home." He
said to himself. There was a moment's hesitation as he watched Mia going through a
file searching for some misplaced document of some sort. He knew she'd find it in good
time, as she always did. He nodded once to some thought that had brushed through his
mind as he left. He knew he may have to return again some day, but for now he knew
her mind was at rest.
******************************
"Ryo? Is that you?" Mia called from her study as soon as she heard the front door open.
"Yeah! How'd you know it was me?" He replied, calling up to her as he took his shoes
off.
Mia shrugged and didn't even look up from what she was typing. "I don't know…" She
said.
"Hey Mia, mind if I put on some music?" He asked as he walked into the living room.
Mia's hands faltered over the keyboard for a moment before she answered, "Sure, but
put on a CD will ya?" She called down to him.
"Alright!" It wasn't that unusual a request. He turned on the music and flopped down
on the couch.
"What do you want to change
Radio?"