This is something I wrote quite a while ago. It, so far, has two chapters and I'm currently writing the third. I originally posted this on lj until it was beta'd. It now has been beta'd by the fabulous B (cess525). Thank you to Podie1 and wasu for the wonderful reviews for my story "The Trip", more will come soon. I'm working on my block and hopefully it will be gone soon.

Summary: Alex is given a proposal by a victim and Mike has to deal with some of his own issues. (This is not a good summary)

Pairing: Mike/Alex

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don't own the show but I did write this, I'm borrowing the characters, I will put them back later ;)

Spoilers: Season 3 onwards. Set around Season 6

Grace Under Pressure

"You've been trying for a baby?"

Bobby Goren was sitting on the left side of the hospital bed as the question escaped his lips to the woman laying in the bed, shaken up but not visibly injured. The woman nodded as her husband reached to wrap his arms around her, comforting her in a simple way. Alex Eames looked at Mike Logan and then at Bobby before looking at the woman, Claire, again. Claire had been the victim of an attack by a group of people who believed that trying to conceive a child through stem cell research was immoral. "What made you turn to this research?" Bobby asked, another question popping into his brilliant mind.

The husband, Josh, answered for his wife, "It seemed every other way was a dead end."

"How so?" Mike asked, causing Bobby to glance at him as if he'd forgotten Mike existed.

Josh shrugged, "Nobody was kind enough to help us." He looked from Mike to Alex, to Megan and then back to Bobby, "It seems that the only people a person cares about these days are themselves." He sounded bitter and unhappy with the world.

"What led you to choose this particular research method?" Megan asked, curious as to why they would go for something so controversial.

The couple shared a look, "Well, we'd tried everything else, and the woman who'd agree to be a surrogate for us... just took off ... with our baby." Tears began to fall from her eyes as she recalled the horror she had felt before when they'd discovered the mother had abandoned them. Claire had expected more; the woman had been kind enough to do so much but when it seemed to matter the most, she changed her mind. Alex looked at Mike for a split second before dropping her eyes to the floor. "I mean, what kind of woman does that?"

"You know-" Bobby started, softly, clasping his hands together and looked at Claire carefully, "-Some people in this world are capable of selflessness." Bobby looked towards his partner, and noticed how her head had snapped up in surprise. "My partner is selfless and has helped someone before."

Claire immediately switched her gaze from Bobby to Alex. "Really? You've had a baby for someone else?" Alex's eyes began darting everywhere around the room and eventually settling on Bobby; anger flared behind them although he had not mentioned it directly, he implied it and that was enough for her. Though looking at Claire, she realised what Bobby was trying to do and she could understand that. Alex found herself nodding numbly; watching as Claire seemed to allow this information to sink in, slowly turning to Bobby who had a small proud look on his face.

"You see, good people do exist." Bobby reiterated his point; he hadn't meant to reveal personal details about his partner. Alex looked towards Mike who had a sympathetic look on his face.

Claire nodded, slowly understanding. "But only one?"

Bobby blinked, "Excuse me?"

"You could only think of one example?" She asked, not waiting for an answer as she turned back to Alex, "Could you help us?"

Alex felt her whole body weight drop to her feet; the proverbial truck had hit her in the form of an innocent question. Guilt, fear and anger rippled through her senses like a hurricane as Claire became a blur in her vision. She knew what this meant to Claire, and she knew how much her rejection would sting but Alex shook her head, "Sorry." Before anyone could say anything else she darted out of the room.

Stunned to see her leave, Bobby stood up to follow her but Mike loosely held out his arm in the 'stop' signal. "I'll go." Mike walked out of the hospital room before Bobby could argue with him.

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There was something bitter about the bench she was sitting on; broken and twisted, old and over-used. Matching her sour mood and her inner gloom. The past two days had been gut-wrenchingly difficult for her, with no-one to speak to for fear of anything escaping the mouths of those she spoke to and it winding up in the ears of the person she couldn't risk finding out. The last thing she wanted to hear was a request from a heartbroken woman, looking as distraught as her sister had, asking her to carry a child for her.

She couldn't do that! She couldn't go through all of that again, not right now and she wasn't sure she could ever do that again. Her mind was reeling at the thought and the anger that had welled up inside her was threatening to erupt into a fit of tears; an eruption she was trying desperately to stifle and stiffen. Her battle raged inside for minutes and she felt almost victorious until a masculine hand was softly placed on her shoulder, forcing the tears to fall the moment she looked up into his face.

Mike's face of concern fell into confusion before he felt the strong sense of deep, dark and stabbing concern that he wasn't used to feeling; the kind that told him something was terribly wrong. This wasn't like her to burst into tears, not even when they were at home alone, she would remain strong, not out a need to show strength but because that's who she was. He quickly sat down beside her and engulfed her, his arms wrapping around her as if he could provide shelter from her inner turmoil. "Alex?" He spoke quietly as he held her, unable to see her face and unsure of where to tread.

He heard her mumble into his jacket, "I can't... I can't do that again." He heard a sniffle and he heard her take a breath. like she was struggling to breathe. so he loosened his grip on her, not that he thought he was causing her trouble. "I don't-don't want to go through that again." She pulled her head away from him and the anger flashed in her eyes. "I'm not a damn baby factory, who the hell told her she could order one from alexeames dot com?"

He was surprised by the outburst but he knew he shouldn't have been, "Come on, you-"

"No, it's not fair to ask somebody to do that. She should apply for one like everyone else does." She continued, interrupting him as her anger took stride.

"Nobody is asking you to do that!" Mike resisted the urge to raise his voice, knowing that would not help. She shot him a look of disagreement, "Okay, so she was asking, but no one is forcing you to." The look of defeat on her face was enough to make him pause; there was something else.

"I'm not having a baby for anyone!" She said that with such venom that it nearly knocked Mike over.

He carefully held her arms and gave her direct contact. "Read my lips. Nobody. Is. Making. You." He realized he was coming across as harsh but clearly being soft and gentle wasn't working anyway. She stared at him for a moment, unsure but slowly becoming aware of her surroundings, realizing the absurdity of her actions and her outburst. She looked at him, and nodded as she leaned into him. Alex felt herself calm down inside and that's when she realized she had not told him, he didn't know. He needed to know, she'd been avoiding this for two days and... "Shame though." She felt her head snap up and she looked at him, anger flaring from the two words he'd just spoken with a sarcastic and bitter tongue, but she became confused by the smile. "I was kinda hoping you'd be having one for me...?"

She felt her lungs catch as they refused to release the air. She stared at him and how her mind race. "Y-you know?" He didn't answer. "How do you know?"

Mike raised his brow and regarded her carefully before replying, "It was less about knowing and more about suspecting." He looked directly into her eyes, "Now I know. How long have you known?"

She felt herself swallow air, "Two days."

"Two days?!?" He tried not to raise his voice but he couldn't hold back the sound of shock, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Alex looked at him with sad eyes, "I wanted to." As she said that she could hear how pathetic she sounded, "But I-I wasn't sure how you'd react, I mean it's not like you go all goo-goo-gaa-gaa over babies is it?" She looked at him, afraid that her lips were trembling, "I still don't know what you..." Her sentence trailed off as Mike looked away from her.

She watched him as he watched anything but her. It seemed like an eternity passed before Alex realized that she needed to hear him say something. "Well-" Her desperation cutting through, "Say something."

He finally looked at her, his brow furrowed as he tried to process this, "What do you want me to say?"

She felt herself sigh in frustration, "Not that. Say something about-" she searched for the words, "-about what you're thinking."

"You wanna know what I'm thinking?" He asked, his voice raising slightly but he didn't stand up or move away from her. Although she nodded she wasn't so sure she wanted to know considering his hateful tone of voice. "I'm thinking about how screwed up this is, about how I'm not suitable to be a father and you know that!" Alex shook her head to say she disagreed but he ignored her and continued on, "And honestly-" he paused and looked at her, "-I don't think I'll make a great Dad, I don't handle that much responsibility without screwing it up in some fashion." She looked away from him, unable to bear hearing anymore of his self doubt. He, however, carried on speaking despite her defeated body language. Softly, he said, "And I'm thinking about the fact there's no room in our house for a baby to sleep." Her head snapped back towards him in a twist of confusion and worry. He looked at her, studying her as she did the same to him, "Please don't tell me you thought I was gonna walk away? That's not me."

She shook her head, she hadn't thought that. Her main concern had been how upset he would be and how unhappy it would make him. A miserable Mike was never really the kind of Mike she liked to be around; but as she looked at him she still wasn't sure if he was delighted or disappointed.