This story began, as of yet, a very very long time ago in a land not
so far away. Deep within the thickets and within a lone tower, striking out
against the blue serene, a beautiful young bride eagerly anticipated her
savior from the great monolithic tower within Hell's Keep. As she waited
within at the top of the tower, a lone hero strode across the thickets and
dangerously blasted through the wall of Hell's Keep. A young man still in
his prime dances his way up the stairs towards his destiny, a new adventure
and a new bride. Taking up his bow and arrow and hurling an arrow into the
air, with a rope attached, Robin Hood came to the rescue of Princess Red
Riding Hood. Recklessly endangering his own life to rescue a damsel in
distress, he climbed up the rope, now securely fastened to the wall, to see
his mistress and his fate. A young bright eyed red head stood in front of
him smiling as if she knew he would come. It was as if destiny had always
written them to be together and together they were finally. Climbing out of
the tower and dodging their way through the brush, Robin Hood and Princess
Red Riding Hood, hand in hand, smiling and laughing amongst the freshly
blossoming flowers, merrily rushed towards the castle deep within the
sanctity of Robin Hood's kingdom.
High within the castle's inner sanctum, the brotherhood and Robin Hood welcomed their queen as she took her seat upon the throne.
"My Lady," bowed Robin Hood kissing Princess Red Riding Hood's hand.
"Thanks for freeing me from Hell's Keep, Sir Knight," blushed the Princess.
"'Twas nothing, my lady," smiled Robin Hood, "I caught word from the elders that Hell's Keep was becoming again active so I decided to check it out. It sounded quite like a fairy tale beginning and a novel idea to beat so I rushed bow and arrow blazing to your rescue. I love that stuff."
"I am in your debt. I don't know how I got up there. All I remember was being attacked from behind many years ago by a decrepitly foul beast and imprisoned there for I don't even know how long. If it wasn't for you, I would have been burned alive when Hell's Keep finally erupted," the Princess sighed gazingly lovingly into Robin Hood's eyes.
"It was nothing any good gentleman wouldn't do," chuckled Robin Hood, "the next question being, where do we go from here? I can try to find your family to tell them of your future wedding and permanent change of residence."
"I could not ask thee of it," the Princess timidly uttered, "I could not begin to see my family ever again after I had lost their sacred jewels. I had three jewels within my keep on a necklace. I know where two of them are because I hid them myself but I do not as of yet know where the third is. I'm sure if we find the first two the third will pop up!"
"YES! SCORE! Finally an adventure worthy of my thievery skills! I knew I'd be needing this one of these days," gloated Robin Hood as he merrily took his tools out of retirement.
"The first two jewels are within the protection of the royal guard in Phyllas. It's not too far from here and I know the way if you..." Princess Red Riding Hood began.
"Ahhhhh Phyllas... I remember that place... Fun place it was. Too bad I got kicked out of there for my antics. Something about a disturber of the peace and being a danger to myself and others. Eh! Oh well! What do they know anyways!!" Interjected Robin Hood, "Next stop Phyllas. I know the royal guard is just dying to see me again. Especially after that dreaded failure of a heist... Nevermind... I'm rambing again." As Robin Hood and his gang slid down the magnificent stairway, Princess Red Riding Hood stood in a window overlooking the grand courtyard watching as her brave heroes rode off to Phyllas to get her gems. She knew that their journey would be a hard and perilous one and she knew that young Robin Hood would do as he promised. Yet something told her that she had to count her losses and do something about the other gem. Avoiding the hand maidens, the innocent heroine stalked down to the stables. She needed to ride off to help her friends in Phyllas this she knew. Mounting a white stallion of the purest stature, she hurried off to help her friends.
A few leagues down the road, Robin Hood and his merry men rode into the ever-so prosperous town of Phyllas. Upon the nicely paved city streets lurked merchants from the farthest of the established kingdoms. Down the road and to the left was the pub where members of the royal guard often gathered. Robin Hood ducked and mingled with the crowd and found out that the two so-named gems are being escorted to a new hiding spot this evening. Luck being on their side, one of the guards was drunk and passed out on one of the bar tables. Upon further inspection of the gentleman, they could tell that he was going to be out for a long while so they acted as if he wanted help out of the bar and snuck him around back where they relieved him of his guard's attire. Robin Hood comes out from behind the alleyway and stares face to face with another guard.
"THERE you are!?" said the royal guard.
"Sorry I was detained for a bit," replied Robin Hood in a low voice, "I drank one too many drinks at the pub today."
"You're not supposed to be drinking on duty anyways!" shouted the royal guard knocking Robin Hood upside the head, "Geez sometimes I don't even know my own brother..."
"You don't know the half of it..." coughed Robin Hood.
"What was that?" inquired the guard.
"N..Nothing..." Robin trailed off Frantically trying to keep up with the guard, Robin ducked and dove behind and in front of every commoner on the cluttered streets. It finally paid off as Robin Hood ogled two brilliant stones that shimmered with radiant beauty as the fading light diminished in the west. Robin Hood started dooling over the jewels so much so that he got the attention of the guards.
"Hey Jack?" said one of the guards.
"Y... Yeah?" answered Robin Hood.
"My brother's name isn't Jack!" shouted Jack's brother.
"Get him!" cried out the guards as Robin Hood turned tail and ran. Robin Hood rushed through the streets faster than he did when Jack's brother showed him the way to the stone. All of a sudden, Robin Hood was back where he started at the pub. As he looked about, the royal guard started surrounding him and the ever so lazy guard, Jack, finally awoke from behind the alley. Dressed in his undergarments, Jack looks at Robin Hood with disgust as he rushes him first followed by the rest of the royal guard. Little John sees Robin Hood's situation and gets the rest of the merry men together to push back the royal guards. Just before the rest of the men could join the party, a lone arrow strikes a banner in the air followed by another arrow. The banner drifted down to the ground covering the unsuspecting royal guard. Seeing their opportunity to strike, the merry men went off and drove wooden stakes through the banner, pinning the best that Phyllas had to offer to the cold muddy ground. Before they could get back to their feet, the gathering of thieves went for the gems. Getting back on his horse, Robin Hood rode towards the hiding place of the gems and took them up as the guards sprung from their confinement. Running and jumping off of a cart over the wall of the city, Robin Hood laughed with merriment as the rest of his crew gathered at his side. As darkness approached on swift feet, the gang of thieves drove into the hills and vanished into the night. Upon a bluff over looking a great valley, the two stones hovered and shown with brilliance as they lit the way to the last stone. As the stones rotated, Robin Hood started to follow them and went the route that they took. Although he didn't know where or to what extent he was going, he didn't care because he saw fit to impress the Princess after her dazzling saving in Phyllas.
The masters of thieves rode on into the next day as the sun stretched its weary head across the horizon. The stone was still traveling and Robin still following as they approached an old ruined castle from ages lost.
"BY GOD! It's the holiest of places," Robin Hood exclaimed, "If I did not see this with my own two eyes. I would never have thought it existed. The great palace of King Arthur Pendragon, CAMELOT!"
"Why would the last jewel be here?" pondered Friar Tuck.
"I don't know... I know one thing for sure something's not right here," stammered Little John, "I'm not good with words but I think somehow we're all going to get screwed..."
"Now... Now fellows I don't ask of you to go any further than you want. My friends your loyalty is the best and I only want you to know that this won't be the end. Every story has a good ending no matter what the resolution states..." preached Robin Hood.
"Over there... QUICK!" yelled Princess Red Riding Hood peering at a grotesque beast, "That's the thing that imprisoned me in the tower and... HE HAS MY STONE!"
"I shall avenge your honor my sweet!" Robin Hood cackled gallantly, "Men you stay here the fight with him is mine..." With a shimmering sword pulled from a nearby stone, Robin Hood dashed into Camelot with fists ablazing with fury. He tracks down the ghastly monster and finds him deep within the bowels of the castle where Merlin is said to inhabit.
"Stop right there you wretched beast!" Robin Hood shouted valiantly.
"Ummm... Sir Knight... I do have a name... I don't like being called beast little alone wretched..." growled the beast.
"Whatever... Be on your guard!" Proclaimed Robin Hood running towards the grisly monster.
"STOP! I am not your enemy..." the beast shouts as Robin Hood knocks him off of his feet, "You are mistaken..." His plees yet too slow to be drawn out as a rock lands over his head.
"PRINCESS! Why did you do that?" Robin Hood yawned, "I was going to have some fun with that one..."
"We don't have time for that now. You can torture some woodland creature later... Leave Rumplestiltskin there..." the Princess trailed off.
"How do you know his name my lady? I thought you had said he captured you from behind?" questioned Robin Hood too late because he too was knocked out by the Princess. Hours later, Robin Hood and the beast, Rumplestiltskin, awoke from their betrayal and shook it off.
"I told you to wait but no you didn't listen... See you even let her hit me... When I caught her and put her in Hell's Keep, she didn't even so much as scratch me... Geez you're putting my reputation on the line you buffoon!" started Rumplestiltskin, "and secondly I was here trying to see a friend of mine... I felt an evil presence befalling the land again and sought aid... Little did I know you'd let HER out!?! I mean what were you thinking, you TWIT?!?!!?"
"Princess Red Riding Hood has more honor than you do foul beast! I will not listen to you anymore," Robin Hood slammed, "and I wasn't thinking... I just let it happen... I'm a hero and she was a damsel in distress..."
"Damn it Robin Hood!" gasped Merlin, "Listen to Rumplestiltskin because he speaks the truth... You know her as Princess Red Riding Hood but little do you know that her real name is Minerva. One of the fallen Gods imprisoned here on Earth for their treachery. She seeks but one thing... She wants to revive her lover, Odin... The Great Destroyer... When he awakens, she soughts to recreate the world such as that her and her lover can rule forever... You see where I am going with this?"
"Well kinda.... Ok... I don't," confessed Robin Hood, "She's some demon queen?"
"If you want to think of it that way Robin," Rumplestiltskin grinned, "She's far more than any demon that you have knowledge of. Because now that she has those gems.... the gems of Odin's crown... she can summon her lover to do her bidding..."
"Well I'll be damned..." Robin Hood smacked himself over the head, "All I did was save her and play the hero... I don't want to destroy the world... I just want to get laid!"
"Geez..." Rumplestiltskin and Merlin stammered in unison.
"There is but one place left for her to go... Now that all has been lost here in Camelot... I fear that nothing can stop her. That sword you possess has great power... It was once wielded by Mr. Pendragon but now you do... Yet compared to Minerva's powers.... It is but a whisper against a tornado..."
"I know Excaliber will hold true to its final destiny... I know it because it's within the Ancient's writings... When hope is lost and the seal is broken... a lone hero holding the fallen sword within the stone will strike back the bleakness with rays of hope and light... defending justice and truth rebirthing Camelot once and forever," recited Rumplestiltskin, "Whatever may happen to you when you should challenge her... Remember she's an unholy she-demon with powers unknown... I will go with you on your quest for I alone can travel outside these walls."
"Is that true Merlin?" inquired Robin Hood.
"Yes it is I'm afraid... I only remain in spirit.... I died long ago... I remain here only to serve and uphold Camelot's lost ways," answered Merlin as Robin Hood and Rumplestiltskin moved for the door, "You're welcome... Geez... No respect even when I'm dead..."
Rumplestiltskin and Robin Hood together rode over the hills in search of Minerva and to quench their thirst for vengeance. The sun had finally plummeted from the day's sky and rested its eyes within the blanket of the night when they finally caught glimpse of the white horse and Minerva. As the moonlight lit the way, Robin Hood and Rumplestiltskin swiftly gain pace after her. At the hill overlooking Hell's Keep, she stopped and laughed with glee as the stones floated up into the air.
"YOU FOOLS! It's already too late!" screamed Minerva, "My one true love is coming... Now it is time to meet your creator as..." Lightning shatters across the void and a lone echo can be heard.
"M... Minerva? Is that you? About time you worthless hag!" Odin cried out across from a dark cloud, "I think you have some explaining to do! I have been waiting for two and a half thousand years for you... No calls and no messages!" Just as Odin touches the ground, the land started to tremble under his mighty horse's feet. The flashing of the lightning flashed against the sheath of his sword as Robin Hood stared into the eyes of his assassin. He took up Excaliber and with one slash at Odin he tried to defeat him. Robin heard screams all around him as he looked swiftly around him, nothing. Then once more he swiped at Odin and only then he felt the cold clamminess of steel against his hands. As Robin Hood, or Willy, rubbed his eyes and saw the crowd and the stick he was holding he knew he was in for it now. Not only did he not know what he had stolen from those security guards but also he did not know what other trouble he had caused along the way. All that he knew was that his adventure was over and now he has some serious explaining to do at the station especially since he tried to kill some guy and girl with a stick!
High within the castle's inner sanctum, the brotherhood and Robin Hood welcomed their queen as she took her seat upon the throne.
"My Lady," bowed Robin Hood kissing Princess Red Riding Hood's hand.
"Thanks for freeing me from Hell's Keep, Sir Knight," blushed the Princess.
"'Twas nothing, my lady," smiled Robin Hood, "I caught word from the elders that Hell's Keep was becoming again active so I decided to check it out. It sounded quite like a fairy tale beginning and a novel idea to beat so I rushed bow and arrow blazing to your rescue. I love that stuff."
"I am in your debt. I don't know how I got up there. All I remember was being attacked from behind many years ago by a decrepitly foul beast and imprisoned there for I don't even know how long. If it wasn't for you, I would have been burned alive when Hell's Keep finally erupted," the Princess sighed gazingly lovingly into Robin Hood's eyes.
"It was nothing any good gentleman wouldn't do," chuckled Robin Hood, "the next question being, where do we go from here? I can try to find your family to tell them of your future wedding and permanent change of residence."
"I could not ask thee of it," the Princess timidly uttered, "I could not begin to see my family ever again after I had lost their sacred jewels. I had three jewels within my keep on a necklace. I know where two of them are because I hid them myself but I do not as of yet know where the third is. I'm sure if we find the first two the third will pop up!"
"YES! SCORE! Finally an adventure worthy of my thievery skills! I knew I'd be needing this one of these days," gloated Robin Hood as he merrily took his tools out of retirement.
"The first two jewels are within the protection of the royal guard in Phyllas. It's not too far from here and I know the way if you..." Princess Red Riding Hood began.
"Ahhhhh Phyllas... I remember that place... Fun place it was. Too bad I got kicked out of there for my antics. Something about a disturber of the peace and being a danger to myself and others. Eh! Oh well! What do they know anyways!!" Interjected Robin Hood, "Next stop Phyllas. I know the royal guard is just dying to see me again. Especially after that dreaded failure of a heist... Nevermind... I'm rambing again." As Robin Hood and his gang slid down the magnificent stairway, Princess Red Riding Hood stood in a window overlooking the grand courtyard watching as her brave heroes rode off to Phyllas to get her gems. She knew that their journey would be a hard and perilous one and she knew that young Robin Hood would do as he promised. Yet something told her that she had to count her losses and do something about the other gem. Avoiding the hand maidens, the innocent heroine stalked down to the stables. She needed to ride off to help her friends in Phyllas this she knew. Mounting a white stallion of the purest stature, she hurried off to help her friends.
A few leagues down the road, Robin Hood and his merry men rode into the ever-so prosperous town of Phyllas. Upon the nicely paved city streets lurked merchants from the farthest of the established kingdoms. Down the road and to the left was the pub where members of the royal guard often gathered. Robin Hood ducked and mingled with the crowd and found out that the two so-named gems are being escorted to a new hiding spot this evening. Luck being on their side, one of the guards was drunk and passed out on one of the bar tables. Upon further inspection of the gentleman, they could tell that he was going to be out for a long while so they acted as if he wanted help out of the bar and snuck him around back where they relieved him of his guard's attire. Robin Hood comes out from behind the alleyway and stares face to face with another guard.
"THERE you are!?" said the royal guard.
"Sorry I was detained for a bit," replied Robin Hood in a low voice, "I drank one too many drinks at the pub today."
"You're not supposed to be drinking on duty anyways!" shouted the royal guard knocking Robin Hood upside the head, "Geez sometimes I don't even know my own brother..."
"You don't know the half of it..." coughed Robin Hood.
"What was that?" inquired the guard.
"N..Nothing..." Robin trailed off Frantically trying to keep up with the guard, Robin ducked and dove behind and in front of every commoner on the cluttered streets. It finally paid off as Robin Hood ogled two brilliant stones that shimmered with radiant beauty as the fading light diminished in the west. Robin Hood started dooling over the jewels so much so that he got the attention of the guards.
"Hey Jack?" said one of the guards.
"Y... Yeah?" answered Robin Hood.
"My brother's name isn't Jack!" shouted Jack's brother.
"Get him!" cried out the guards as Robin Hood turned tail and ran. Robin Hood rushed through the streets faster than he did when Jack's brother showed him the way to the stone. All of a sudden, Robin Hood was back where he started at the pub. As he looked about, the royal guard started surrounding him and the ever so lazy guard, Jack, finally awoke from behind the alley. Dressed in his undergarments, Jack looks at Robin Hood with disgust as he rushes him first followed by the rest of the royal guard. Little John sees Robin Hood's situation and gets the rest of the merry men together to push back the royal guards. Just before the rest of the men could join the party, a lone arrow strikes a banner in the air followed by another arrow. The banner drifted down to the ground covering the unsuspecting royal guard. Seeing their opportunity to strike, the merry men went off and drove wooden stakes through the banner, pinning the best that Phyllas had to offer to the cold muddy ground. Before they could get back to their feet, the gathering of thieves went for the gems. Getting back on his horse, Robin Hood rode towards the hiding place of the gems and took them up as the guards sprung from their confinement. Running and jumping off of a cart over the wall of the city, Robin Hood laughed with merriment as the rest of his crew gathered at his side. As darkness approached on swift feet, the gang of thieves drove into the hills and vanished into the night. Upon a bluff over looking a great valley, the two stones hovered and shown with brilliance as they lit the way to the last stone. As the stones rotated, Robin Hood started to follow them and went the route that they took. Although he didn't know where or to what extent he was going, he didn't care because he saw fit to impress the Princess after her dazzling saving in Phyllas.
The masters of thieves rode on into the next day as the sun stretched its weary head across the horizon. The stone was still traveling and Robin still following as they approached an old ruined castle from ages lost.
"BY GOD! It's the holiest of places," Robin Hood exclaimed, "If I did not see this with my own two eyes. I would never have thought it existed. The great palace of King Arthur Pendragon, CAMELOT!"
"Why would the last jewel be here?" pondered Friar Tuck.
"I don't know... I know one thing for sure something's not right here," stammered Little John, "I'm not good with words but I think somehow we're all going to get screwed..."
"Now... Now fellows I don't ask of you to go any further than you want. My friends your loyalty is the best and I only want you to know that this won't be the end. Every story has a good ending no matter what the resolution states..." preached Robin Hood.
"Over there... QUICK!" yelled Princess Red Riding Hood peering at a grotesque beast, "That's the thing that imprisoned me in the tower and... HE HAS MY STONE!"
"I shall avenge your honor my sweet!" Robin Hood cackled gallantly, "Men you stay here the fight with him is mine..." With a shimmering sword pulled from a nearby stone, Robin Hood dashed into Camelot with fists ablazing with fury. He tracks down the ghastly monster and finds him deep within the bowels of the castle where Merlin is said to inhabit.
"Stop right there you wretched beast!" Robin Hood shouted valiantly.
"Ummm... Sir Knight... I do have a name... I don't like being called beast little alone wretched..." growled the beast.
"Whatever... Be on your guard!" Proclaimed Robin Hood running towards the grisly monster.
"STOP! I am not your enemy..." the beast shouts as Robin Hood knocks him off of his feet, "You are mistaken..." His plees yet too slow to be drawn out as a rock lands over his head.
"PRINCESS! Why did you do that?" Robin Hood yawned, "I was going to have some fun with that one..."
"We don't have time for that now. You can torture some woodland creature later... Leave Rumplestiltskin there..." the Princess trailed off.
"How do you know his name my lady? I thought you had said he captured you from behind?" questioned Robin Hood too late because he too was knocked out by the Princess. Hours later, Robin Hood and the beast, Rumplestiltskin, awoke from their betrayal and shook it off.
"I told you to wait but no you didn't listen... See you even let her hit me... When I caught her and put her in Hell's Keep, she didn't even so much as scratch me... Geez you're putting my reputation on the line you buffoon!" started Rumplestiltskin, "and secondly I was here trying to see a friend of mine... I felt an evil presence befalling the land again and sought aid... Little did I know you'd let HER out!?! I mean what were you thinking, you TWIT?!?!!?"
"Princess Red Riding Hood has more honor than you do foul beast! I will not listen to you anymore," Robin Hood slammed, "and I wasn't thinking... I just let it happen... I'm a hero and she was a damsel in distress..."
"Damn it Robin Hood!" gasped Merlin, "Listen to Rumplestiltskin because he speaks the truth... You know her as Princess Red Riding Hood but little do you know that her real name is Minerva. One of the fallen Gods imprisoned here on Earth for their treachery. She seeks but one thing... She wants to revive her lover, Odin... The Great Destroyer... When he awakens, she soughts to recreate the world such as that her and her lover can rule forever... You see where I am going with this?"
"Well kinda.... Ok... I don't," confessed Robin Hood, "She's some demon queen?"
"If you want to think of it that way Robin," Rumplestiltskin grinned, "She's far more than any demon that you have knowledge of. Because now that she has those gems.... the gems of Odin's crown... she can summon her lover to do her bidding..."
"Well I'll be damned..." Robin Hood smacked himself over the head, "All I did was save her and play the hero... I don't want to destroy the world... I just want to get laid!"
"Geez..." Rumplestiltskin and Merlin stammered in unison.
"There is but one place left for her to go... Now that all has been lost here in Camelot... I fear that nothing can stop her. That sword you possess has great power... It was once wielded by Mr. Pendragon but now you do... Yet compared to Minerva's powers.... It is but a whisper against a tornado..."
"I know Excaliber will hold true to its final destiny... I know it because it's within the Ancient's writings... When hope is lost and the seal is broken... a lone hero holding the fallen sword within the stone will strike back the bleakness with rays of hope and light... defending justice and truth rebirthing Camelot once and forever," recited Rumplestiltskin, "Whatever may happen to you when you should challenge her... Remember she's an unholy she-demon with powers unknown... I will go with you on your quest for I alone can travel outside these walls."
"Is that true Merlin?" inquired Robin Hood.
"Yes it is I'm afraid... I only remain in spirit.... I died long ago... I remain here only to serve and uphold Camelot's lost ways," answered Merlin as Robin Hood and Rumplestiltskin moved for the door, "You're welcome... Geez... No respect even when I'm dead..."
Rumplestiltskin and Robin Hood together rode over the hills in search of Minerva and to quench their thirst for vengeance. The sun had finally plummeted from the day's sky and rested its eyes within the blanket of the night when they finally caught glimpse of the white horse and Minerva. As the moonlight lit the way, Robin Hood and Rumplestiltskin swiftly gain pace after her. At the hill overlooking Hell's Keep, she stopped and laughed with glee as the stones floated up into the air.
"YOU FOOLS! It's already too late!" screamed Minerva, "My one true love is coming... Now it is time to meet your creator as..." Lightning shatters across the void and a lone echo can be heard.
"M... Minerva? Is that you? About time you worthless hag!" Odin cried out across from a dark cloud, "I think you have some explaining to do! I have been waiting for two and a half thousand years for you... No calls and no messages!" Just as Odin touches the ground, the land started to tremble under his mighty horse's feet. The flashing of the lightning flashed against the sheath of his sword as Robin Hood stared into the eyes of his assassin. He took up Excaliber and with one slash at Odin he tried to defeat him. Robin heard screams all around him as he looked swiftly around him, nothing. Then once more he swiped at Odin and only then he felt the cold clamminess of steel against his hands. As Robin Hood, or Willy, rubbed his eyes and saw the crowd and the stick he was holding he knew he was in for it now. Not only did he not know what he had stolen from those security guards but also he did not know what other trouble he had caused along the way. All that he knew was that his adventure was over and now he has some serious explaining to do at the station especially since he tried to kill some guy and girl with a stick!