Allegiances

From war humanity appeared, and into war humanity shall disappear.

"The next World War will be fought with stones,"- Albert Einstein

Prologue: Walk down the Killing Road

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"Kaworu said that he loved me," Shinji said, finally giving his thoughts a voice, "I've never felt such kindness before. He was like me, and he was like Ayanami. I liked him too. Kaoru should have survived. He was much better than I am. Kaoru should have survived, not me. He deserved to live."

Overhead the moon shone down on the lake created by Unit 00's destruction. The bright reflection had originally blinded Shinji, but he had grown used to it in the long hours he had been crouched on the shore. He skipped another rock across the lake and watched the ripples spread quickly, distorting the reflections of the moon. Had his mind been less preoccupied he'd have compared the moon's shape to something else, just like someone would compare a cloud.

He gazed out into the lake, wondering why Kaworu had chosen for him to live, why Kowaru had chosen to die rather then kill humanity. 'Perhaps it was simply what made Kaworu better,'

Shinji thought, 'and the fact that he had been willing to die for others, rather then cling to his own life selfishly.'

"No," Misato said. Rather then gaze out into the depths of the lake she watched Shinji. She wondered about his thoughts, even as she gave voice to her own, "The one who deserves to survive is the one who has the will to make it happen. He wished for death. He ignored his will to survive and chose to die for a false hope. Your survival is not a mistake Shinji," she concluded.

Rather then sorrow and regret, Misato's thoughts dwelled on a bright future. She envisioned that humanity might now be able to shed the darkness of NERV and the Battles of Tokyo-3 and continue into a better day. Rather then sorrow and regret, Misato saw hope.

It was something Misato had seen many times before. Throughout her whole life she'd had hopes, only to see them dashed nearly every time. Her hopes to live with both of her parents married happily when she was a child, a smaller happiness in life with her parent's separated, life with Kaji in college, and then life with Shinji and Asuka in Tokyo-3. Each of these had been her hopes, her desire to live on.

But each time these moments ended with a change for the worse. Divorce, the Second Impact, graduation, and Tabris had ended each and every one of her hopes. But still, somehow she continued to hope for a better future.

Misato's word's seemed to strike a nerve with Shinji. "Misato," he asked, his voice a mixture of a sob and a demand, "How can you be so cruel?"

His youthful mind could not bear to think that Misato truly thought Kowaru was weak. How could Misato, one of the few people in his life that he'd looked up to, think that another one of those important people had done the right thing in dying?

Misato didn't give him an immediate answer. She seemed lost in her thoughts, simply gazing through Shinji. Her answer would be thought out, if nothing else.

Shinji stood on unsteady legs and began to walk away. However, he didn't make it very far before he was stopped by Misato's answer. "Survival of the fittest Shinji," she called after him, "Kaworu was weak, therefore his species died off. Now it is time for humanity to rule this world."

Shinji stopped and turned back to look at her. His heart beat quickly. He hadn't slept since the destruction of Kowaru…although it seemed more like a murder to him. Lack of sleep, coupled with the stress of the last few weeks, made him turn back. "I never figured you for a Darwinist," he said, his voice weak and feeble, unlike his resolve to continue. "You are a hypocrite," he continued, "to wear that cross and ignore it by saying that."

He turned and finished walking away, leaving Misato with her jaw fully dropped. Once she was over the shock of being insulted by Shinji she snapped her mouth shut. Her teeth connected with an audible click. Misato turned on her heel and walked away, her emotions swirling with a mixture of surprise, anger, and disappointment.

It seemed to her that it really was too bad that Shinji couldn't understand that only now was humanity going to come into its prime. That soon humanity would become even better at it's most ancient pastime. 'That is,' Misato thought, 'helping one another become stronger and smarter for all of our benefits.' Shedding loneliness was finally entering Misato's grasp for the first time since the Second Impact.

The thing that was much worse than Shinji not realizing "it" was Misato not realizing the truth either. Misato didn't realize just what humanity's most ancient pastime really was. For, while humans had helped each other become smarter or stronger; the original purpose of it had always been for conflict.

And, as humanity grew larger, stronger, and smarter, the name of conflict had actually shrunk to a little three letter word. War.

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Round and round this fic goes, were it stops only I know. CnC appreciated.

Well, I'm back after my break. Only problem is, right after finishing Rivalitas I started planning this. Now, coming back to it after a week, I'm not liking it as much.

I did a lot of different things over my break. I read some HP Lovecraft and quite a bit of fanfiction. I am also in the process of completely rewatching Evangelion. All of these combined to make me not want to write this as much. Still, I'm going to push on in order to improve my writing.

Don't judge this yet, it has got a long way to go.