Disclaimer: I own Loki, and Thor, and Marvel. I also own Tom Hiddleston's smile and ice cream cones and the shadow cast by a squirrel at 2:26 PM. I own jumping jacks and toothpaste and eyelashes. I am just that awesome. No, in all actuality, I own nothing listed above. All I own are my typing fingertips and the spark of insanity that allowed me to write this ridiculous story.
The Gift
It was an ordinary Asgardian afternoon. However, in a realm as enchanted and grandiose as Asgard, even the most ordinary day may contain the most extraordinary of events. Thor and Odin sparred in a literal clash of the titans, while Loki lay sprawled on the side, curled around a large tome entitled ""Hermes' Guide to Roguishness, Mischief, and Other Forms of Devilish Shenanigans". (Odin threatened to castrate Fandral for giving his younger son that particular book). The two gods ducked and weaved, struck and clanged as they met in a ferocious, yet friendly battle. At one point, Thor executed a particularly spectacular move, catching his father's staff on Mjolnir's head and wrenching it from Odin's grip with a skillfully-twisted wrist. "Did you see that, Loki?" Thor roared, "That is how a duel is won, not with trickery." The Lord of Thunder laughed. When Loki did not respond, the glee slipped from Thor's light features. "Loki? Loki? LOKI!" The God of Mischief dropped his book with a start. With his large green eyes and feline build, he resembled a startled cat.
"AHH..oh yes, splendid, very good, brother."
"Are you even watching, Loki" Thor demanded.
"Of course I am, Thor. I love to watch you and father, er, duel" defended Loki.
"Well if that is so, what was your favorite part of today's match?"
Loki's eyes flicked momentarily to the book, longingly. "Oh, I enjoyed the part where you… you know, the flick... with the thing... And then you kind of hopped to the… left?
"Wow, Loki, not your best work, right there. Can you please pull yourself out of those novels of yours and pay attention? I feel like you spend more time reading then breathing some days.
Odin took this opportunity to join in. "Thor has a point, son. Ever since the…incident, you have been remarkably withdrawn. What's that you're reading, anyway?"
"Oh, nothing of interest to you, I'm sure, father. I wouldn't wish to tire you with trivia." Said Loki, while clandestinely waving his hand over the book's cover. Unbeknown to Odin and Thor, the letters rearranged, appeared, and disappeared to spell instead "Viking Illustrated: Your Number One Guide to Hunting, Drinking, and Achieving Glory in Battle. Also included, the best horned helmet for the spring season".
Thor glanced over at the cover. "The new edition! I've been waiting for that for a month. Can I borrow that after you, brother?"
"Of course. I''ll drop it by your quarters when I'm finished." promised Loki. Odin said nothing, but the slightest hint of a knowing smile flitted upon his lips.
"You still should get out more, Loki. When's the last time you and Sigyn did something fun? " asked Thor.
"I should have you know that Sigyn and I had a lovely outing yesterday, thank you very much. After that mortal of yours spoke non-stop about Valentines' Day I planned a romantic date in Elfhiem. It was quite a memorable evening for both of us, if you know what I mean."
"What about you, father?" questioned Thor.
"I gave Frigga a new gown made of starlight and moonshine. I commissioned the dwarves to have it ready in under a day, as I had only just heard of this…Balentine's Day-"
"Valentine's", interrupted Loki.
"Yes, of course. I had only just heard of this Valentine's Day the day before, when Frigga was telling me of the Lady Jane's incessant conversation regarding the Midgardian holiday. Naturally, I realized that I had better get my wife a gift as well."
Loki asked, "And did mother appreciate your gift?"
"She was ecstatic, Loki. Absolutely thrilled." Thor laughed, his booming voice echoing through the room.
"I am sure she was, father. However, my gift to Jane was by far the greatest." Loki responded to this boast with a snort. "You doubt me, brother?" asked Thor.
"Well", responded the God of Mischief, "it isn't exactly a secret that you lack a certain…sensitivity…when it comes to the desires of women."
"You lie!" shouted Thor.
Loki answered, "Remember when you gave Sif that frilly pink dress? Or when you presented mother with a new shield that was too big for her, so she gave it to you? "
"Well this time it was different!" yelled Thor. "I went and asked Sif for her advise."
Loki cocked a jet eyebrow. "Did you now? How very wise of you, brother."
"Yes it was, wasn't it? I asked Sif what a beautiful, courageous woman would wish for." Odin, who had been grinning at his eldest son's unusual spark of insight, froze, the grin slipping subtly from his features, melting into an expression of alarm. Loki, on the other hand, began to snicker softly. "Do you find something funny, brother?" growled Thor.
Loki swiftly let his face go blank. Deadpan, he replied, "No, nothing at all. Please excuse me." Loki lithely rose to his feet and exited the chamber. Meanwhile, Odin sank back, shaking his regal head, while Thor gave a bewildered shrug.
In a room on the other side of the golden hall of Odin, Queen Frigga, Lady Sigyn, and Jane Foster were discussing their own experiences with the first ever Asgardian Valentine's Day. "It was so romantic!" gushed Sigyn. "Loki took me on a ride through Elfheim. He had everything planned out perfectly, the horses, the picnic, the music. He can be so thoughtful when he wants to be".
"That sounds lovely", said Frigga. "My Loki always was so clever. He always knows what gift will make me smile. And I can see where he gets it from; Odin surprised me yesterday with a magnificent celestial gown. It looks beautiful, and feels as light as the spring breeze. "
"And you, Jane?" asked Sigyn, eagerly. "What did Thor give to you?"
"A suit of armor." answered a stone-faced Jane. The two Asgardians forced their smiles to remain fixed upon their faces.
"Oh… how adorable" said the wife of Loki. "Thor must be worried about your safety so he thought a suit of armor was the perfect thing to protect you."
"Yes," added Frigga, "Isn't he such a sweet man?"
"Yes", echoed Jane with a saccharine grin, "such as sweet, sweet man."
A/N: Loki respectfully requests that you review this story, lest he decide that your life does not contain nearly enough chaos, a condition that must be remedied immediately.