This Time, But Not Our Last Time Chapter 1, a terra nova fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, though if I did Wash and Taylor would be exploring the chemistry that they have going on. This story no way reflects the way I feel for the couple, as I actually do love them together, and they are quickly replacing Maddy and Mark as my favorite couple. Though Mark is really cute. Like legit. I don't own Terra Nova, which means I don't own the guys (Doens't that suck). I also don't own the song that is underlined, it belongs to Pia Toscano, the song is titled, This Time.

This Time, But Not Our Last Time

Chapter 1

Well I'm mad as hell
Ain't gonna take it no more
My bags is packed at the back of your door
Cause I don't know who I am no more
You won the battle but you lost the war

"Wash, I'm sorry. I just can't do it. You aren't her. You're not Ayani. You never will be," Said Commander Nathanial Taylor as he looked at the girl, no woman in front of him, who just happened to be 20 years his junior. Leaving him at the ripe age of 53, which made her only 33 years old. Not married, no kids, no nothing. Only her work.

I've been in denial
Now I'm living the truth
Been down for awhile
Now I'm standing up to you
Oh, this Time

Alicia Washington nodded slowly, her eyes hard. She wouldn't cry anymore, she couldn't. He always does this, but then the next day he comes back claiming that he was wrong that he could do it. Wash loved him, but she wasn't sure just how much more her heart could take. "Alright Commander, I'll pack my bags and I'll be out of your hair. Am I excused, sir?" She said the last part said in a smart ass tone.

This time
I'm gonna do it my way
This time
I'm finding out the hard way
This Time
I'm gonna go back
To the girl I was
On the night you found me
No more
Holding back the real me
Just wait
In a minute you'll see
This Time
Just in time
It's my time
Getting back to the real me

"Quite alright Liutenant. Go. Now." Taylor said, his eyes hard, not showing just how hard this was for him. He loved her, he loved her so much. But everytime he touched her, every hug, every kiss, felt wrong, felt like betrayal. He felt as though he was betraying Ayani. He knew she was in pain, this is how it went everytime: he tells her to leave, he waits through the night heartbroken and alone, before going to her the next morning and begging for forgiveness. This is the way their relationship was, the way it would always be. Or so he thought.

Alicia packed in record time, only one bag, she couldn't bring herself to bring all her stuff anymore. She just couldn't take it. Not anymore. She leaned against the back door of his house, her bag right next to her. She looked back once more as a lonely tear rain down the side of her face. She quickly wiped it away, and her eyes hardened. This wasn't her, she wasn't going to do this anymore. She was hurt, but mostly she was angry.

Alicia pushed herself up so she was standing upright, before leaning down to collect her bag off of the ground, his ground, the ground that he stomped, crushed, and burned her heart on. Just thinking about the way he held her heart in his hand, the way he crushed it, he crushed it so hard that if felt as though he was crushing the real thing. That he was crushing the heart in her chest, from the inside out. She just started to walk away with one last look at his back door, but as she looked up, she found him looking at her with heartbreak strongly visible in his eyes.

Don't try to stop me
With the words you say
Cause I'm sick and tired of the games you play
I'm gonna free myself,
Gonna make a change
And like a butterfly
Imma spread my wings

When he went to say something, Alicia shook her head and said, "I'm going back to the girl I was on the night that you found me. This time,... I'm getting back to the real me. No more going around in circles with you, no more wondering if you will ever love me as much as I love you. I want to believe it, but I just can't. I'm going to free myself and make a change. Like a butterfly, I'm going to spread my wings. I've been crying for too long, now I'm drying my eyes. Goodbye."

Been crying for too long
Now I'm drying my eyes
Grounded for so long
Now it's time for me to fly
This Time

"Alicia... I'm sorry," Taylor said, but Alicia just shook her head again, and started to walk back to her own housing unit, but this time, she was alone. She had no one, just like before, just like always.

She walked up to her housing unit and punched in her housing code, before entering and throwing her bag across the room. Then after the door closed she leaned up against it and closed her eyes, tears started to stream down her cheeks, like waterfalls, no one knows where the water keeps coming from, it just does.

I'm mad as hell
I can't take it no more
My bags is packed at the back of your door
I promise you
This time

'Why has life been so cruel to her? Why must she be alone? Why must she have to put on a brave face for everyone in the colony, but not be able to do so for herself? For so long I've had a shield up around my heart, nothing being able to break it down and get in, and nothing able to get it out. So how did he, how did Commander Nathanial Taylor manage to break it down so much, that it just stays down, while he can never stay? How?," was her last drifting thought as she blacked out right up against the door, her hand cradling her stomach like her body knew something she didn't. Like it knew something was coming. Something magical.

This time
I'm gonna do it my way
This time
I'm finding out the hard way
This Time
I'm gonna go back
To the girl I was
On the night you found me
No more
Holding back the real me
Just wait
In a minute you'll see
This Time
In time
It's my time
I'm getting back to the real me

I'm mad as hell
I ain't gonna take no more