This is inspired by an NCIS story by Weasley's Revenge.
Oliver is Sherlock's biological son. His mum was as close to a friend as Sherlock had in university, and when she wanted a child she went to him. They were never romantically involved. When she became terminally ill she contacted Sherlock and asked him to look after Olly. I might write some oneshots about Sherlock and Oliver and around why these rules exist.
Christina x
XOXOXOX
Infant Instructions
1. Under no circumstances am I allowed to experiment on Amy and Jack. They are John and Mary's children, not test subjects.
2. Under no circumstances am I allowed to experiment on Oliver. Because he is my biological son is not a valid excuse.
3. All experiments must be out of Oliver, Amy and Jack's reach. At all times.
4. Taking Olly on trips to museums is acceptable. Taking him to the morgue however, is not.
5. I will not tell Amy and Jack about auntie Harry's drinking. John still hasn't forgiven me for telling Olly.
6. I can teach Olly how to deduce people's life stories, but I must not encourage him to do it in public.
7. Olly is my biological son. Therefore when he sulks for days it is my fault. End of.
8. Take away for every meal is not a suitable diet for children.
9. Or consulting detectives.
10. Mrs Hudson is happy to babysit but she is not to be taken for granted. If I want her to babysit, I must ask.
11. Teaching Amy and Olly to insult Anderson is wrong. Even though it makes John and Lestrade laugh. (Which is annoyingly contradictory)
12. Telling Amy and Olly about Anderson and Donovan's affair is also wrong. Even though it also makes John and Lestrade laugh. (Seriously John, why must you be so contradictory?)
13. Body parts must be stored in a separate fridge.
14. Amy and Jack enjoy watching TV. I will not spoil the story for them, nor will I tell them what I really think about the shows.
15. If John tells me to stop playing the violin at three in the morning because it's keeping the kids awake, I will listen.
16. If Mary will tell me to stop playing the violin at three fifteen in the morning because it's keeping the kids awake, she will make me listen.
17. Just because Olly and Archie like looking at pictures of bodies in various degrees of decomposition, does not mean all children do. Amy still has nightmares which are exclusively my fault.
18. I will not tell Amy and Jack that their mummy shot me.
19. Even if I tell them I was joking.
20. I will not let Olly take the skull to school. I know he likes it but John says the other kids don't. Don't know why.