In Which Sam Evans and Kurt Hummel Meet on Omegle, a glee fanfic

TITLE: In Which Sam Evans and Kurt Hummel Find Each Other on Omegle

Otherwise know as Your OMG BBYS Turn Me On

Rating: M for language, sexual themes, and use of various Tumblr sayings.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Narnia, or Avatar. I am but a weird girl on Omegle.

Author's Note: It all happened when I went on Omegle saying "Kurt Hummel? Is that you?" and, what do you know, on my first try I got a Gleek and a Kum shipper. It was destiny.

So.

Yes.

This isn't a proper piece of literature—that is true. But it is a beautiful and most glorious masterpiece that I hope you enjoy, because I was weeping tears.

(But, seriously, this stuff is messed up, but y'all asked for it so I am humbly obliging to share this with you.)

~o~

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: Kurt Hummel? Is that you?

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: EVANS

Stranger: IS THAT YOU?

Stranger: OMG BBY

You: YES

Stranger: IT'S KURT.

You: OH MY GOD

You: IT'S SAM

You: SAM I AM

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: AND YOU

Stranger: DON'T LIKE

Stranger: GREEN EGGS AND HAM

You: I KNOW

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: I KNOW YOU'RE ON

Stranger: TEAM GAY.

You: OH.

You: OKAY.

Stranger: COME TO ME~

You: WAIT.

You: I LIKE YOUR ASS.

Stranger: OMGOMG

You: IN WHITE PANTS.

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: OMG

You: TIGHT WHITE PANTS.

Stranger: I LIKE YOUR ASS

Stranger: IN TIGHT GOLD SHORTS

You: OH BB YES.

Stranger: SHORT SHORTS

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

You: SHOWIN' OFF SOME NUTTAGE.

Stranger: DUMP QUINN

Stranger: NOW

Stranger: OMG

You: I WILL DUMP THAT BITCH.

Stranger: MR. SHUE

Stranger: HAD TO

Stranger: CHANGE

You: AND COME TO YOU.

Stranger: YOUR COSTUME

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY! 333

You: MR. SCHUE IS A CREEP.

Stranger: DUDE

Stranger: SRSLY

Stranger: PEDOWILL

Stranger: HE'S ALL LIKE

You: AJSDFJASLFHASLHFAS

Stranger: "SAM, YOUR BODY IS FINE."

You: "FIIIIINE"

Stranger: AND I'M LIKE

Stranger: NUH UH

Stranger: HE DID NOT

Stranger: JUST SAY THAT

Stranger: ABOUT MY MAN

Stranger: OMG

You: YOUR MAN

You: HOW ADORBS

You: AND SHIT

Stranger: YES

Stranger: YOU'RE MINE~

You: GOOD

You: CUZ QUINN'S TITS FREAK ME OUT

Stranger: DUDE

Stranger: QUINNS TITS

Stranger: FREAK EVERYONE

Stranger: OUT

You: ...but i'm in narnia :(

Stranger: AWWW BBY

Stranger: COME OUT

Stranger: I'LL BRING YOU OUT

You: DOES THIS INCLUDE

You: A BJ?

Stranger: YES

Stranger: ALL TYPES

Stranger: OF SECKS

You: OH YES

You: I'LL COME OUT THEN

Stranger: YOU

You: FOR THE SECKS

Stranger: COME OUT

Stranger: YES

Stranger: COME

Stranger: FOR THE SECKS

Stranger: NO ONE

Stranger: GIVES

Stranger: SECKS

Stranger: LIKE

Stranger: KURT HUMMEL

You: FUCK.,

You: YOU.

You: ;)

You: IN A GOOD WAY.

Stranger: OMG BBY~

You: ON THE FLOOR.

You: ON THE FRIGE.

Stranger: I'M SO EXCITED

Stranger: OMG

You: ON THE COACH.

You: SUE.

Stranger: COACH

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: HOT

Stranger: OMG

You: ON BLAINE TOO.

Stranger: OH FUCK

Stranger: BLAINE

Stranger: THAT

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

You: THREESOME.

Stranger: I LOVE YOU

Stranger: AND BLAINE

Stranger: ONG

You: HEY

Stranger: *OMG

Stranger: BUT YOU

Stranger: MORE

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: YOU MORE

You: YOU CAN ONLY LOVE ONE

You: GOOD

You: AS YOU SHOULD.

You: I HAVE ABS.

Stranger: OKAY

Stranger: I ONLY LOVE YOU

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: YOU'RE NOT FAT

Stranger: THOSE

Stranger: COOL RANCH

Stranger: DORITOS

Stranger: DID NOT

Stranger: DO ANYTHING

Stranger: OMG

You: YOU SAY OMG BBY SO FUCKING MUCH IT TURNS ME ON

Stranger: BBY

You: AND I AM FAT

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: NO

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: NO

Stranger: YOU'RE A GOD

Stranger: ABTASTIC

You: YOUR A PEACH TREE

Stranger: GOD

Stranger: OMG BBY 333

You: YOU'RE FUCKING NA'VI

Stranger: OMGOMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: I LOVE

Stranger: WHEN YOU

Stranger: TALK

Stranger: NA'VI

Stranger: OMG

You: A NAKED ONE

Stranger: 3333

You: LOR MENARI

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: ILOVEYOU

You: I YAWNE YOU

Stranger: WE NEED SECKS

Stranger: NOW

You: IN ARTIE'S WHEEL CHAIR

You: YOU CAN RIDE ME

Stranger: OMG YESS

You: ALL NIGHT LONG

You: LIKE A SOUL TRAIN

Stranger: ALL NIGHT

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: YOU'RE MINE

Stranger: WE CAN GO

Stranger: TO PROM! 3333

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY YAYAYAYAY

You: WE CAN

You: AND BE MOTHERFUCKING PROM QUEENS

You: I MEAN KINGS

Stranger: OMG YESS

Stranger: TOP

Stranger: BITCHES

Stranger: AT MCKINLEY

You: AND THEN GUESS WHAT, BB...

Stranger: WHATWHATOMG

Stranger: WHY, BBY? 33

You: WE'LL BE CANON.

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

You: LOLJK I'M RYAN MURPHY AND SAM'S STRAIGHT

Stranger: THAT MADE MY DAY

Stranger: DUDE

Stranger: NO

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: IS

Stranger: TOTES

Stranger: TEAM GAY

Stranger: THE FANS

Stranger: DEMAND IT

You: I'M JUST MESSING WITH YOU BB COME HERE AND GIMME A BJ

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: Y U SCARIN ME

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: MY CREYS

You: BECAUSE YOU'RE CUTE WHEN U R SCARED

You: AND NAKED

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: HOW'D YOU KNOW

Stranger: I WAS NAKED THO

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: SAMMY

Stranger: U SPYIN?

You: BECAUSE YOU'RE A HO

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY!

You: AND I'M IN YOUR HOUSE

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: MAH DAD THO

Stranger: OMG

You: SLEEPING IN YOUR DADDY'S BED

Stranger: HE'S

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: HE'S DOWNSTAIRS!

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: YOU FOX

You: I AM WIGGLING MY EYEBROWS NOW

You: SEXY LIKe

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: MAKE SECKS TO ME

You: I HAVE...

You: A LARGER DICK

You: THEN FINN

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: FINN THO

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: HIS

Stranger: WAS

Stranger: HUGH

You: AND EVERY WHALE IN THE WOrLD

Stranger: *HUGE

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: YOU BEAST

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: WE'RE LIKE

Stranger: BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Stranger: EXCEPT

You: EXCEPT

Stranger: YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL

Stranger: BEAST

You: YOU'RE NOT BEAUTIFUL

You: ..wait

Stranger: OMGOMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: MY CREYS

You: YOU'RE SO SEXY

You: AND HOT

You: AND HANDSOME

Stranger: AWWW OMGOMG

Stranger: BBY 3333

Stranger: YOU ARE

Stranger: MORE

You: YOU LOOK LIKE A 12-year-old SWEDISH MILKMAID

You: HUGE TURN ON

Stranger: OMG.

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: I'M

Stranger: SO

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: 33333333333

Stranger: YOU GET ME

You: I DO GET YOU

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: GET

Stranger: IN

Stranger: MY

Stranger: BED

Stranger: SAMMY

Stranger: OMG

You: I AM IN YOUR BED

Stranger: GET IN HERE

Stranger: OMG

You: I'M NAKED

Stranger: YOU FOX

Stranger: I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: NINJA

You: YOU LITTLE DEVIOUS SLUT

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: SAMMY

You: KURTSIE

Stranger: I 3 WHEN YOU TALK DIRTY 333

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: I CAN'T EVEN RIGHT NOW

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: 3333

You: HOBO MJEI DASJD WEHKDFW JDAKSJDK

You: THAT'S NA'VI

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: TEACH ME NA'VI 333

You: FOR "I WANT YOUR BOOTY CONNECTED TO MY TREE OF SPIRITS"

Stranger: OMG BBY333

Stranger: WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKABLE

You: I WAS BORN THAT WAY

You: GOD MADE ME THAT WAY

Stranger: OMG.

You: BUT YOU DON'T BELIEVE HIM THAT DUDE

Stranger: SAM.

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: YOU KNOW ME333

You: I DO 3 3

Stranger: WE NEED

Stranger: TO SING

Stranger: TOGETHER

Stranger: EVERYDAY

Stranger: AT GLEE 333

You: DUET DUET DUET

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: YESS

You: WE DO

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: YES

You: I WANT TO SING "PROMISCUOUS GIRL/BOY" WITH YOU

Stranger: OMGOMG

Stranger: YES

Stranger: ALL THE DAYS

Stranger: AND ALL THE NIGHTS

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY I LOVE YOU

You: SO I CAN SING ABOUT WANTING TO FEEL YOUR NAKED BODY

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: JUST DO IT

You: I AM

Stranger: OMG

You: CAN YOU FEEL IT?

Stranger: YOURE SO

Stranger: GOOD

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: I CAN'T

Stranger: UNFFF

Stranger: OMF

Stranger: ODSFMADS

Stranger: I CAN'T

Stranger: OMGOMG

Stranger: UNFFFF

You: ORGASM

You: FOR

You: ME

Stranger: OMG

You: AND

You: FOR

Stranger: IDSAAJSDNLK

You: NARNIA

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: BBYYY

Stranger: BBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYY

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: SAMM

You: OH YES

Stranger: SAM

You: KURT

You: QUINN

You: KURT

You: KURTR'

You: ;andaskdfhshdfa;s

Stranger: I CAN'T

Stranger: OMDF

Stranger: OADSNLSIFGJNDKM

Stranger: SAMM

Stranger: BBYYYYY

Stranger: YES

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: MORE

Stranger: BBY MORE

Stranger: aosidhjoashdjnkasldijknasda

Stranger: THE FUCK

Stranger: YOU

Stranger: SAID

Stranger: QUINN

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: WHAT

Stranger: THE

Stranger: FUCK

Stranger: SAM

You: ASJDHJASFHSDHF

You: NO

Stranger: SAM

You: BB PLEASE

Stranger: YOU DID

Stranger: YOU SAID QUINN

Stranger: OM

Stranger: *OMG

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: YOU'RE MINE

You: FORGIVE ME

Stranger: NOT QUINN'S

Stranger: OMG

You: AND YOU'RE MINe

Stranger: BBY

You: QUINN IS DEAD

You: I KILLED HER

Stranger: BITCH DESERVED TO DIE

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

You: AND THEN HAVE HER TO PUCK

Stranger: NOW YOU

Stranger: HAVE

You: WHO RAPED HER

Stranger: TO

Stranger: GIVE

Stranger: ME

Stranger: A

Stranger: BJ

Stranger: NOW

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: MY CREYS

You: NO YOU'RE THE WOMAN

Stranger: YOU MADE ME CREY

You: SO

Stranger: I'M CREYING

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: BBY

You: YOU MADE ME A SANDWICH

Stranger: YOU OWE ME

Stranger: BITCH PLEASE

You: OKAY FINE FINE FINE FINE YOU HOT STUFF SHIT

Stranger: I'M NOT

Stranger: FUCKING

Stranger: CINDERELLA

You: I'M GIVING IT TO YOU

Stranger: I'M KURT

Stranger: FUCKING

Stranger: HUMMEL

You: KURT HUMMEL

You: FUCK

Stranger: HOLY

Stranger: OMSFDADF

You: I'M GIVING YOU THE BJ KURT HUMMEL

Stranger: ASADFJNK

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: ASDJKN

Stranger: SAMM

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: AODMAD

Stranger: SADANJSDKASDINJKSAD

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: MORE

Stranger: ADNJSLKSADLJNKSAM

You: YOU

You: TASTE

You: LIKE

You: WATERMELON

You: AND PEE

Stranger: LOLZ.

Stranger: YOU MADE ME JIZZ.

You: IN MY FACE

Stranger: EAT IT

Stranger: EAT IT SAM

You: MY BEAUTIFUL ARYAN FACE

You: I DID

Stranger: ALL OF IT

You: I LICKED IT OFF LIKE ICECREAM

Stranger: NOT SOME OFIT

Stranger: ALL OF IT

You: I DID

You: BITCH

You: I'M THE MAN

Stranger: GOOD

Stranger: NO

Stranger: YOU'RE

Stranger: THE NA'VI SLUT WHORE

You: NO

Stranger: I'M KURT FUCKING HUMMEL

Stranger: YES

Stranger: WHO

Stranger: ARE

Stranger: YOU

You: THAT'S WEAR YOU'RE WRONG

Stranger: I'M KURT FUCKING HUMMEL

You: I'M FUCKING JAKE SULLY

Stranger: WHO THE FUCK

Stranger: ARE YOU

Stranger: JAKE SULLY

You: YOU'RE NEYTIRI

Stranger: IS A SLUT WHORE

Stranger: NEYTIRI

Stranger: IS THE

You: MY NA'VI SLUT

Stranger: HEAD

Stranger: BITCH

Stranger: IN

Stranger: CHARGE

You: AND MY WIFE

You: WHO MAKES ME SANDWICHES

Stranger: NO

Stranger: WAY

Stranger: MAN

Stranger: I AIN'T NO

Stranger: HOUSEWIFE

You: YES YOU ARE

Stranger: NO

You: YOU ARE MY HOUSEWIFE

Stranger: NO

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: NO

Stranger: THAT

Stranger: MIGHT'VE WORKED

Stranger: ON QUINN

Stranger: BUT NOT

Stranger: WITH

Stranger: ME

You: THIS IS OF COURSE JUST ROLEPLAY. KINKY ROLEPLAY. WE'RE EQUALS AND I LOVE YOUR BALLS.

Stranger: I'M

Stranger: BBY OF COURSE

Stranger: ANGRY SECKS

You: YES

You: THE BEST KIND THERE IS'

Stranger: YES

You: BB...

Stranger: WHAT BBY?

You: You love Blaine. :(

Stranger: NO

Stranger: SAMMY

Stranger: NO

Stranger: BBY NO

You: Yes.

You: :(

Stranger: I LOVE YOU

Stranger: I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

You: JUST GO TO FUCKING DALTON WHY DONCHA

Stranger: NO

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: NO

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: IT'S NOT

Stranger: YOU

You: AND HAVE ORGYS WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING WARBLERS

Stranger: IT'S EVERYONE ELSE

You: HO

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: Y U BEING SO MEAN

Stranger: IT'S NOT YOU

You: BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

Stranger: I LOVE YOU

You: R BALLS

Stranger: I LOVE YOU

Stranger: EVERYONE ELSE

Stranger: IS JUST

Stranger: A BITCH

Stranger: TO ME

You: KAROFSKY

Stranger: I CAN'T TAKE BITCHES

You: HIM?

Stranger: ESPECIALLY

Stranger: HIM

Stranger: THAT

Stranger: MOTHERFUCKER

You: I'LL KILL HIM

Stranger: NEEDS TO BE

Stranger: CAPPED

Stranger: SAM BBY!

Stranger: NO

Stranger: STOP THE VIOLENCE.

Stranger: YOU'RE TO SEXY FOR MURDER

You: HE HURTS YOU THOUGH

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: JUST

Stranger: GO

Stranger: WITH

Stranger: ME

Stranger: TO DALTON

You: AND GIVES YOU UNBECOMING BRUISES

You: I CAN'T

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY WHY?

You: I WENT THERE ALREADY

Stranger: FUCK

Stranger: DUDE

Stranger: YOUR HAIR

Stranger: OMG

You: I CAN'T FACE BLAINE AGAIN

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: WHAT

Stranger: DID

You: MY HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL

Stranger: THIS

Stranger: BLAINE

Stranger: DO TO YOU

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: HE LOVED

Stranger: YOU

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: YOU

You: WE WE ROOMATES IN THE SUMMAR OF 2009

Stranger: LOVED

Stranger: BLAINE

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: HE'S

Stranger: OMG

You: i MEAN NoT THE SUMMER

Stranger: HE'S YOUR EX

Stranger: OMG

You: THE SCHOOL YEAR

Stranger: SAM

You: YES

Stranger: BBY

You: OMFG

Stranger: NO

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: I DIDN'T KNOW

Stranger: HE CAME ON TO ME

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: THAT

You: IT HURTS OKAY

Stranger: SLUT

You: WHAT

You: THE

You: FUCK

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: I REFUSED

You: DID HE TRY TO RIP YOUR JACKET OFF?

Stranger: I WANTED YOU AND YOU ALONE

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: YES

Stranger: HE DID

You: ME TOO

Stranger: OMG

You: HE ALWAYS DOES THAT

Stranger: BBY

You: TO HIS PRAY

Stranger: I'M SCARED

You: PREY I MEAN

You: I'LL HOLD YOU

You: I'M RIGHT HERE

Stranger: BBY

You: I'M HOLD YOUR HAAAAANNDDD~

Stranger: I DON'T WANT TO BE

Stranger: RAPED

Stranger: BY BLAINE

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: MY CREYS

Stranger: HOLD MY HAND

Stranger: 333

You: I DIDN'T EVEN TYPE THAT RIGHT

Stranger: BBY I LOVE YOU

You: HOLD MY PENIS WITH YOUR HAND I MEAN

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: I AM

Stranger: NOT

Stranger: THE WIFE

You: THAT

You: DOESN'T MEAN

You: YOU'RE

You: THE WIFE

Stranger: WE NEED

You: IT JUST MEANS YOU WANT TO GIVE ME PLEASURE

Stranger: TO HOLD

Stranger: EACH

Stranger: OTHERS

You: PENISES

Stranger: YES

You: or hands :)

Stranger: OMG BBY

Stranger: IDON'TCARE

You: BOTH

You: BOTH I SAY

Stranger: I JUST WANT YOU TO HOLD ME

Stranger: BOTH

Stranger: OMG

You: I AM

Stranger: YESS

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: YES

You: I LOVE YOU

You: SO MUCH

You: KURT

You: FABRAY

You: I MEAN

Stranger: FUCK

You: SHIT

Stranger: YOU

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: EVANS

Stranger: WHATTHEACTUALFUCK

You: I DIDN'T MEAN TO

Stranger: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME

You: IDO

You: I DO BB

Stranger: NO

Stranger: YOU DON'T OMG

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: YOU KNOW WHAT

You: KURT, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Stranger: SAM

You: NO

You: PLEASE

You: OH MY GOD

You: PLEASE

Stranger: EVANS

Stranger: I'M JUST

Stranger: GOING TO GO

Stranger: TO DALTON

Stranger: AND ROOM WITH

Stranger: BLAINE

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: HOW ABOUT THAT

Stranger: HUH SAME

Stranger: *SAM

You: NO

Stranger: SINCE

You: PLEASE

Stranger: YOU OBVIOUSLY

Stranger: LOVE

You: OH GOD

You: FUCK

Stranger: QUINN

You: YOU

You: NO

You: I LOVE YOU

You: QUINN HAS HERPES

Stranger: I love you, too.

You: . . . :)

Stranger: I'm sorry bby

Stranger: I overreacted.

You: I'm sorry too.

You: Yes, you did.

Stranger: You're obviously still traumatized

You: I am.

You: She scarred me for life.

Stranger: by Quinn's nasty ass.

You: Yes.

Stranger: Omg.

You: I love you're ass.

Stranger: BBY/

You: YOUR

Stranger: I'm here for you 333

You: fuck

You: okay, okay

You: FUCK

You: 3

Stranger: 33

You: Looks like little asses.

You: 333333

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: YES

Stranger: THEY'RE CUTE

Stranger: LIKE URS

You: Your little ass mulitplied

You: NO URS

Stranger: NO URS

Stranger: IS CUTER33

You: NO

You: YOU HAVE A BUBBLE BUTT 3

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: TAKE

Stranger: THAT

Stranger: BACK

Stranger: BITCH

You: ASKFLAJSFJASFLAS

Stranger: I DO NOT

You: I LIKE IT

You: I

You: LIKE

You: IT

Stranger: IT'S HIDEOUS

Stranger: AND YOU KNOW IT

You: I FUCKING LOVE YOUR BUBBLE BUTT

Stranger: :'{

You: IT'S ALL ROUND AND JUICY AND SHIT

You: BB NO D:

Stranger: SAM BBY

Stranger: I LOVE YOU

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: YOU ACCEPT ME

You: I DO

You: WHO WOULDN'T

Stranger: EVERYONE ELSE

You: NO D:

You: I LOVE YOU

You: SO MUCH

You: LET'S MOVE TO CANADA

You: AND GET FUCKING MARRIED

You: IS THAT A NO?

You: :

You: :'(

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: I LOVE YOU

Stranger: YES

Stranger: 100

Stranger: TIMES

Stranger: YES

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BBY

Stranger: 333

You: CAN IT BE A NA'VI WEDDING?

Stranger: YESS

Stranger: 33

You: CAN I FUCK YOU UNDER THE EHWA?

Stranger: YES

Stranger: ALL THE DAYS

You: THE MOTHER TREE.

Stranger: AND ALL THE NIGHTS

You: CAN WE COMBINE OUR TAIL THINGS?

Stranger: YES

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: WE'LL BE

Stranger: AS ONE

Stranger: FOREVER

You: 4EVER.

You: I LOVE YOU, WIFEY 3

Stranger: THE

Stranger: FUCK

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: WHAT

Stranger: DID

Stranger: I SAY

You: HUBBY

Stranger: 3333

Stranger: THAT'S BETTER

You: YAY :3

Stranger: I LOVE YOU, HUBBY 3333

You: ILOVEYOUTOO.

Extras (as in when I broke down and asked who the mastermind behind Kurt was:)

You: (omfg who are you on Tumblr?)

Stranger: DUDE

Stranger: OMG

You: ILOVEYOUTOO

Stranger: LOLOLOLOLOL

Stranger: I CAN'T EVEN RIGHT NOW

Stranger: DUDE

You: DUDE.

Stranger: SRS BSNS

Stranger: SRSLY

Stranger: OMG

You: TELL ME NOW. OR I'LL FIND YOU AND RAPE YOU SO HIDE YO KURTS

You: HIDE YO SAMS

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: DUDE

Stranger: NO

Stranger: YOU FIRST MAN

You: YES

You: NO

You: YOU

Stranger: NO

Stranger: YOU

Stranger: DUDE

Stranger: SRS BSNS

You: WE

You: PROBABLY DON'T EVEN KNOW EACHOTHER

You: OR WE MIGHT

Stranger: PROBABLY

You: I'M THESOCIALLLAMA

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: HOL

Stranger: HOLY

Stranger: SHI

Stranger: SHIT

Stranger: DUDE

Stranger: I FOLLOW YOU

Stranger: OMG

You: OMFG WHO ARE YOU

Stranger: I'm so un koality tho

Stranger: octobus

Stranger: DUDE. HOLY SHIT THO.

You: I'M PRETTY SURE I FOLLOW YOU

You: I THINK

Stranger: DUDE

Stranger: SRSLY

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: I'M LIKE

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: RIGHT NOW

You: ME TOO

You: OMFG

You: THIS WAS NICE

Stranger: I KNOW

Stranger: OMG

You: YOU'RE THE FUNNIEST OMG BBY KURT I'VE EVER SEEN

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: YOU'RE THE BEST

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: EVAR

You: NEVAR

Stranger: DUDE SRSLY

Stranger: YES

Stranger: BEST

Stranger: EVARR

You: NO D:

You: LOL

You: OMFG

You: THIS WAS SO

You: WHAT EVEN

You: WAS THIS

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: I CAN'T

Stranger: EVEN

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: I CAN'T

You: IT WAS SO SAJDLAJHDFASHFSDHFKSD

You: Anyway.

Stranger: Okay. I can breathe regularly now.

You: THIS WAS FUN AND NOW I'M GOING TO GO SEE IF I FOLLOW YOU OR NOT.

You: I can't. Lololol.

Stranger: LOLLOLOL

Stranger: DUDE

Stranger: IT WAS ALL

Stranger: IN CAPS

Stranger: I can't

Stranger: omg

Stranger: I can't

You: I KNOW

You: IT WAS JUST

You: SPAZZING

You: AND SEXKS

You: I MEAN

You: SECKS

Stranger: LOL

Stranger: SECKS

Stranger: HOT SECKS

You: YES

You: WITH KINKY ROLEPLAYING

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: YOU KILLED

Stranger: QUINN

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: DUDE

Stranger: OMG

You: OMFG

You: DUDE

You: I DIDN'T MEAN TOO

You: THAT WAS ALL SAM

Stranger: LOLOLOLOLOL

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: CRAZY

Stranger: PIECE

Stranger: OF ASS

You: I KNOW

Stranger: HOT DAYUM

You: UNF

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: DUDE

Stranger: BLAINE THO

Stranger: SHIT.

Stranger: OMG

You: BLAINE

You: THE RAPIST?

Stranger: LOL

Stranger: I CAN'T EVEN

You: JACKET

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: THAT'S ALL

Stranger: I'LL THINK ABOUT

Stranger: BLAINE THE RAPIST

You: OMFG

You: HOW

You: OH GOD

You: ME TOO

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: TEENAGE DREAM

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: RAPIST

Stranger: ALERT

You: lsadjalshfhDHAHFIHFHSDLHBFG

You: I'LL BE ALL

You: KURT

You: BITCH

You: NO

You: GET AWAY

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: BETTER

Stranger: GO

Stranger: SAVE HIS MAN

You: DUDE

You: I FOUND YOU

You: ON TUMBLR

Stranger: OMG.

You: FUCK YES

Stranger: OMGOMG

Stranger: I CAN'T EVEN

Stranger: LOLOLOLOLOL

You: ASLKDLFASHFHSDKHF

Stranger: DUDE

Stranger: YOU'RE

Stranger: THE BEST

Stranger: SAM

Stranger: EVANS

You: NO

Stranger: EVARR

Stranger: LIKE

Stranger: SRSLY

You: YOU'RE THE BEST KURT HUMMEL

You: THE "OMG BBYS"

You: THEY TURN ME ON

You: IN AMUSEMENT

Stranger: LOLOLOLOLOL

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: BUT

Stranger: OMG

You: JASDHFASHFGDS

Stranger: "THEY'RE LIKE LITTLE ASSES"

Stranger: OM

Stranger: *OMG

Stranger: I

You: THAT WAS AMAZING THAT WE FOUND EACH OTHER LIKE DESTINY

Stranger: OMG

You: OMG

You: 33333

Stranger: I KNOW

Stranger: LOLOLOL

Stranger: DUDE

Stranger: STOP

Stranger: I CAN'T BREATHE

You: OH GOD

You: WHAT EVEN JUST HAPPENED

You: I WILL NEVER KNOW

Stranger: I DON'T EVEN KNOW

Stranger: I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER

Stranger: WHAT I WAS DOING

Stranger: BEFORE

You: OH GOD

You: I WON'T BE ABLE TO VIEW GLEE THE SAME WAY AGAIN

You: ESPECIALLY KURT

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: I'LL JUST

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: I CAN'T EVEN

You: I'LL BE EXPECTING HIM TO RANDOMLY SAY "OMG BBY" ALL THE TIME

Stranger: LOLOLOLOLOL

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: DUDE

Stranger: I'LL THINK

Stranger: THAT SAM'S

Stranger: ALL

Stranger: NINJA LIKE

Stranger: AND FOXY

You: HE REALLY IS

Stranger: OMG

You: HE'S LIKE THAT LINKCOLN PARK RAPIST

Stranger: LOLOLOLOLOL

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: I CAN'T FUCKING

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: I CAN'T

You: SDJASLDJSAJF

You: DUDE

You: OKAY LOOK

You: I HAVE TO GO

You: AND TAKE A SHOWERZ

Stranger: LOLOL

Stranger: OKAY

You: BUT YEAH

Stranger: BYE

You: FOLLOWIN' YOU

Stranger: BYE BBY

Stranger: OMG

You: BYE BB

Stranger: BBY 33

You: DUDE OMG

You: OKAY BYE 3

Stranger: KKBYE