Summary: Dean can't remember the last time he was four feet tall. Midget!Dean

Rated: T for language

A/N: I'm so sorry about this story- I truly am! It's just that I was smirking about all the different tags there were for Dean (and Sam too, I was just thinking about Dean), like confused!Dean, sad!Dean, sexy!Dean, thirsty!Dean, hypochondriac!Dean and so naturally I wondered why there had never been a midget!Dean. This is my attempt to rectify that gross omission (and I must admit I laughed pretty hard at the idea of being able to tag my story as midget!Dean :D)

A/N: The incredibly offensive song (lol!) "Short People" is written by Randy Newman. Just need to give credit where credit is due and all.

Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
To live

"Alright Sam, this really isn't funny"

Sam didn't look up from his laptop, "Hmmm?"

"Notice, I'm not laughing!"

"Just a minute Dean." Sam said absently.

"I don't know what's so damn important that you can't tear yourself away from it but I'm going to start throwing things if you don't look at me!"

Sam rolled his eyes and sighed angrily, "Wow Dean, you know the world doesn't come to a halt for you." He turned around in his chair, "HOLY SHIT!"

"Okay, so what did you do?"

Sam laughed in disbelief, "You're joking right? Seriously? You think I did something?"

Dean, "Look at me!" He said waving his hand over his body, "I fell asleep on the couch normal and I wake up... miniature! Now you either saw something happen or you did something and I want to know what the hell is going on!"

Sam was having a hard time stifling a chuckle.

"Really Sam? You think this is funny? Unbelievable."

"Have you looked in the mirror? Dude, it's not funny, it's freakin' hilarious!"

"I'm going to find a bar!" Dean scowled and stomped out the door.

Sam couldn't restrain his laughter any longer.

SPN

Short people got no reason
To live
They got little baby legs
That stand so low

Sam was considering all the ways he could take advantage of the predicament that Dean had found himself in. Of course there was the huge question of how this had happened, who was responsible for creating midget Dean, and who could fix him but at the moment Sam was having a hard time keeping a straight face.

Dean came storming back to the motel room faster than Sam had been expecting. He slammed open the door and stood there angrily, arms crossed.

Sam wiped the grin off his face, "Look Dean, I'm sorry, I really am. This is no laughing matter."

Dean narrowed his eyes, his jaw muscles relaxed slightly and he let his arms fall to his side. He looked down, his face turning red, his voice was so low Sam had to strain his ears to hear, "Umm... Do you want to drive me to a bar?"

Sam's eyes widened, he tried to act casual, "You're gonna let me drive your baby?"

"Oh good grief Sam, my freakin' feet don't reach the freakin' gas and I can barely see over the freakin' steering wheel!"

Sam turned his back to his brother, his shoulders shaking, "Okay Dean, no problem... uhh, just give me a minute here, okay?"

SPN

Short people got nobody
To love
You got to pick em up
Just to say hello

Dean wasn't self-conscious. He totally didn't notice how everyone was staring at him. He was used to be stared at because of his extraordinary, god-like beauty... it really wasn't that different now that everyone was staring at him because of his god-like freakiness.

But really, he totally didn't care. Really. Not at all.

Dean had never realized how tall bar stools were.

"Do you think you can reach or do you need help?" Sam asked, enjoying everything way too much, but at least this time he managed to pull off "sympathetic" a little bit more convincingly.

Good grief, Sam was loud! "For goodness sake, Sam, lower your damn voice!" Dean looked around to make sure no one was watching. Everyone was watching.

"Do you need help?" Sam whispered.

Dean glared up at his younger brother, "No, I don't need help!" He growled, mocking Sam's tone of voice.

Sam ignored him, placing his hands under his brothers arms, Sam hoisted his brother onto the bar stool.

"Up you go!" Sam said cheerfully.

Dean had never been so mortified in his life.

SPN

They got little hands
Little eyes
They walk around
Tellin' great big lies

"A beer is fine for me."

The bartender paused uncomfortably, "We also have a lot of non-alcoholic drinks as well." He handed Dean a menu and flipped it to the page for the children and the teetotalers.

"No. I want a beer but on second thought I think I need something stronger."

He shoved the menu back at bartender. "Son of a bitch." he muttered.

"Well," the man said a bit hesitantly, "I really can't serve you alcohol until I see some form of identification."

Dean rolled his eyes.

The bartender looked at his license, then back at Dean, then back at his license, "Umm... this here say's you're 6'1"... I've heard of lying on your drivers license but don't you think six feet is a little ridiculous?"

Sam choked on his beer.

"Yeah well, back when I got that license I happened to be 6'2" and a linebacker for the Green Bay Packers!"

The man raised his hands in a placating manner, "Sorry, Whatever. What you put on your drivers license is your business... as long as you aren't lying about your age..."

Dean narrowed his beady eyes.

"He is getting a really small tip!" Dean hissed in Sam's direction.

Dean was having a hard time gripping the beer bottle in his hand. Sam was watching him. Oh crap.

"Shit." Sam muttered, "Of course. I'm sorry. Your hands are so small." He shook his head, "I'm so thoughtless!"

He grabbed the beer from Dean's hands, and waved over the bartender, "Hey man, do you think you could get my brother here a mug or something with a handle for his beer?"

"Sure thing!" The man said jovially.

Dean would have run into the men's room if he thought he could dismount the bar stool without falling on his ass.

SPN

Short people got nobody
They got little cars
That go beep, beep, beep

Sam returned to the motel room with the hugest smile on his face, Dean couldn't remember the last time Sam had seemed so genuinely happy, so excited.

"What's up Sammy?"

Sam grinned, digging around in his pocket, he pulled out a key. "Follow me!" He said smile widening.

Dean was hesitant, "Uhh, what's going on Sam?"

Sam laughed, "Just follow me man. And close your eyes!"

Dean sighed and obediently let Sam lead him out the motel room.

"Okay, open your eyes!" Sam exclaimed, putting the keys in Dean's hand.

Dean was more then a little confused. Wasn't sure what he was supposed to be looking at. They stood in the parking lot, Dean could see the parked Impala from his peripheral vision. And then he noticed. A bright blue smart car parked just feet away. His jaw dropped.

Sam was looking at him expectantly, "Well, what do you think? It's all yours!"

"You've got to be kidding me."

"No, I'm serious! It's all yours! I got an awesome deal on it and I figured it would be nice for you to have a way to get around until we can get you back to normal!"

Dean didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.

"Watch it gigantor, I'm keeping a list and when I'm back to normal your's is the first ass I will kick!"

The End