Berated-

Alphonse Elric was a respectful and kind young man. Hence when Lieutenant Hawkeye politely asked him to accompany her to carry some files, he complied without a word or hint of protest.

The room was adjacent from Colonel Mustang's office, down a smaller hallway. As his metal arms were loaded with stacks of paper, the boy heard talking.

"Colonel, stop being so pushy!"

He paused, wasn't that his brother?

"Full Metal? I can barely see you down there, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, bastard. You're the one who's sweating."

A groan echoed onto the walls and Al stilled at the sound.

"… Roy, this isn't working."

"Maybe if I were to-"

"Oww! Be careful with what you're doing. It's gonna break off with you yanking on it like that!"

"I think I am the experienced one here, Edward."

Alphonse felt a nonexistent blush on his face. "Lieutenant? What are Brother and the Colonel doing?"

Hawkeye shrugged, "I believe the Colonel requested Full Metal to help him with something." She sceptically paused in thought.

Now, just because Al was innocent did not mean that he was stupid. He knew what people who loved each other eventually did. But he never imagined that his brother would do… that with Roy Mustang. In his office nonetheless.

Heavy panting permeated through and Alphonse decided that he didn't want to hear this.

"… Almost… there."

"Just stay still, or we'll make a mess."

"We're so close; fuck Roy! Push harder!"

The last document dropped onto the pile and Al bolted out of the room, not waiting for Riza and zoomed past the Colonel's office.

"Colonel, stop being so pushy!" Edward squawked and braced himself underneath the heavy weight.

"Full Metal? I can barely see you down there, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, bastard. You're the one who's sweating," he smirked at the straining look adorning his superior's face.

Ed groaned as more of the burden fell upon him. "… Roy, this isn't working."

"Maybe if I were to-" Mustang slowly pulled in, accidentally crunching Edward's hand in the process.

"Oww! Be careful with what you're doing. It's gonna break off with you yanking on it like that!"

The pressure placed on the wooden leg was causing it to creak, nearly ready to snap off.

Roy grinned haughtily as it fit through the space, "I think I am the experienced one here, Edward."

"Shut up. I still don't get why you asked me to do this with you. Wouldn't someone else have been better? Like maybe Armstrong?"

Ed put all of his weight onto pushing it inside the room and onto a slyly smirking Colonel. "Well, don't you think it would have been a little embarrassing for someone else to see what you did to my previous couch, Full Metal? After all, anyone could recognize what that was."

"Asshole! It's your fault that happened, not mine. If you could keep your hands to yourself for once…"

Roy picked up his end again, signalling for Edward to do the same. How he had managed to buy such a heavy chesterfield was beyond him.

Ed grunted, "… Almost… there."

"Just stay still, or we'll make a mess." Mustang manoeuvred around his paperwork piled on the desk and surrounding the vicinities around it. The last thing he would need would be to spill ink or his coffee on his paperwork. Hawkeye would have a royal fit.

"We're so close; fuck Roy! Push harder!"

Edward sighed happily and plopped down onto the newly positioned couch, enjoying just how comfortable it was. The smell of fresh leather wafted through his nose.

He moaned when a lone gloved hand reached down and grabbed him in a pleasing are while the other pushed him flat on his back. Roy moved closer to roughly kiss Ed, smugly laughing at the tamed and subdued blonde sprawled beneath him.

A loud banging resonated through the closed door, and sounded close to a car running over rough stones. It rushed past them, becoming louder, then faded away. Edward couldn't help but wonder why that sounded like Alphonse dashing full blast.

But a sudden thought, combined with the mysterious noise, entered his mind. "N-No wait, Roy. You just got this and were complaining about what happened to the last one. So why are you doing this again?"

Roy slipped his tongue past Ed's lips and traced the outline of his jaw. "The thrill of being caught combined with wondrous sex on a leather couch and being in uniform appeals to me, Edward." He returned to licking the exposed collarbone, "Besides, it's your fault for looking so fuckable while you sit on my couch in my office."

Holding back a cry when a sharp teeth bit him, then soothed the swollen area, Edward sighed. "You know, if Al was to walk in on us, I'm sure he'd be scared for life."

Alphonse greeted his brother outside of headquarters cheerfully, but refused to look Ed in the eye. When asked what was wrong, Al replied a stuttered, 'Nothing' and continued on.

Edward recalled the running sound and decided he would have a talk with the Colonel and their little office sessions.

AN: I was writing this in a scribbler after a Social final, and the teacher was making rounds around the room. For some reason the situation combined with what I was writing was very awkward… The title relates to what will happen to Roy once Ed gets through with him. Comment if you wish.