A/N: Quick one-shot after yesterday's episode. It broke my heart to see Derek again.
"A knock at the door."
"Sorry?" Riggs raised his eyebrows, confused. He lets the sink turn off to pay attention to her. Meredith swallowed but persisted, keeping the door open in case she wanted to run. Needed to run.
"He knocks at the door," she breathes in, "says he forgot his keys and he's sorry for being gone so long." The way he stares at her - Riggs, that is - reminds her of how Derek use to. Except it was of more steel, more tattered, like he was just as damaged as she was. "She's gorked."
Meredith poked her head through her Dartmouth tee, jumping into her bed as she pulled back the covers, tucking herself in. Alex could be heard moving around in the hallway, presumably cleaning up the dropped toys Bailey had scattered earlier. Sighing, she stared up at the ceiling. The now-familiar ache of loss echoed in her core as she stared at the empty space beside her where her husband and herself had once laid for so many nights. Shoving the feeling aside, she closed her eyes and turned off the lights, wishing for sleep to come.
Meredith settled into her bed. It was so unfamiliar of how uneven the bed was wearing because of the empty side where Derek use to sleep in. She could close her eyes and imagine him lying down next to her, blue eyes amused as he watched her sleep. Then he'd lean over, kiss her and she'd feel the bristly beard against her cheek before getting out of bed to wake up the kids. She opened her eyes and stared to her right only to see the sun shining brightly against the window. Sighing, she flopped deeper into her bundle of pillows, tracing the invisible patterns on the ceiling of the house he built for their family. Closing her eyes, she tried to fall back into the deep sleep she was enjoying when there was the rapping of knuckles against wood. It seemed magnified in the silence of their house. Getting out of the warm cocoon of her bed (it was still so strangely cold), she opened the door.
"I forgot my keys," are the first words out of his mouth. He looked the same, the black coat around his shoulders and his suitcase behind him, his raven locks that were beginning to fade to grey and his blue eyes that were soft and apologetic. Staring at him in shock, her green eyes widened as he smiled. "I'm sorry for being gone so long, Meredith."
"Derek?" She managed to say his name, voice scratchy as she stepped aside. He walked in, pulling his luggage behind him. "You forgot your keys. Are you back?"
"Yeah. I wrapped things up in DC pretty quickly. Oh, you don't know how much I've missed you." He breathed with relief, walking up to the couch and standing his luggage upright. Turning towards her husband, she walked over to him tentatively. "Are you alright? How're the kids?"
"The kids." She repeated dumbly, "They're fine. They're going to be happy you're back. And I'm better than alright. You're okay."
"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked, bemused and wrapped her in a hug. "It's good to be home, Mer." He whispered into her hair before pulling back and brushing his lips against hers softly. Her hands wrapped around his neck, relishing in the plushness of his mouth. As she pulled back, she pecked him on the mouth again. The feeling of being in his arms was so familiar.
"I love you."
"I love you, too." She grinned, feeling like the sun was spreading heat through her veins. As Derek pulled her close again, she could hear his heart beat steadily under his chest. Then there was a loud beep, the one of flat-lining, and she frowned thoughtfully.
Meredith sat upright, breathless before rubbing her eyes. How stupid was she? She'd had this dream multiple times and she still fell prey to it. After all, it had been a beautiful night to save lives yet nobody saved his.