This is my response to a challenge issued by xXKissingSinXx. It's a Shrek quotes challenge.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or Shrek.
Albus Dumbledore was, in Severus Snape's Opinion, at this moment more insane than the Dark Lord himself. Anybody who would willingly throw a party for a crowd of hormone-filled teens and pre-teens who lacked the common sense given to even a fly was, in his book, insane. Dumbledore stood and called the students to attention. " This year we will have a Halloween costume party. Proffessors McGonagall and Snape will be your chapperones. Well, tuck in all." Harry Potter smirked to himself as he formulated a plan of revenge on Snape. When the students all had retired to their common rooms Harry called Fred and George over. " Hey Gred, Forge. I have a plan to embarrass Snape. Wanna Help?" They nodded and listened to the plan.
Severus was standing as far away from the insufferable brats he loathed teaching. It was Halloween and Dumbledore, being his usual infuriating self, had given the brats a party. Unfortunately Severus had been roped into being a chapperone along with Minerva. Severus glared at any students who dared to laugh at him. Albus had bought him a costume that he,himself, wouldn't have deemed worthy of looking at. He was supposed to be an Angel stuck between the realms of Heaven and Purgatory. At the moment He'd rather be the invisible man.
"Hello, Gorgeous." One of the Weasley twins said. Severus growled in response. "Aw... Aren't you the cutest little thing! " The other twin gushed. They were dressed as muggle Victorian era girls. Severus was very tempted to stalk out of the Great hall after dissecting the two boys. He looked up in time to see a minature him stalking over to where they stood. "500 points each from Gryffindor for calling an obviously handsome gentleman such as myself cute."Severus was sputtering in rage. Potter was pretending to be him! Oh that cheeky brat was going to pay dearly!" Potter, when I decide on a punishment that is horrid enough for tyou you will pay dearly!"
"I say we take two swords and neuter him right here! Give him the Bob Barker treatment!" Fred said as he batted his eyelashes at Snape. McGonagall, who had overheard, started snickering. Severus sneered at her. "Oh , you sneer so divinely. Won't you be my own personal angel?" George said, giggling and blushing. Severus screamed in frustration and all but ran from the room. Peeves, who had been bribed by the twins to join in, tripped him and he hit his head against the low ceiling in the dungeon corridors. Harry had followed along with Fred and George. "Snape's hurt." Harry said as the man glared at him. Harry laughed and handed him a pain potion. "Moine brewed it." Fred and George grinned at each other mischievously. "What? Snape's hurt? Oh, no, Snape's gonna die!""Idiots, I'm fine." Severus snapped as he drained the pain potion gratefully. "You can't die on me, Snape! I'm too young for you die! Keep your feet elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anybody know the Heimlich?" Harry yelled loud enough for the whole castle to hear. Severus stormed to his private quarters mumbling about brats and retribution. Harry gave the twins five galleons apiece and returned yo the party.
"Everyone, attention! I hereby give Gryffindor 70 house points for a well-played prank!" Severus glared at the man who he now knew was indeed insane.
THE END
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