greetings and salutations...i bring you joy and good tidings...well...not really...im a saint, not an angel of the lord...lol...but i DO bring you a new story...just a seasonal treat that surfaced while working on an unrelated project...anyway...i hope you will enjoy this little gift of fiction...and i promise...the next chapter of 'last sacrifice' will be up within the next few days...i haven't forgotten...the holidays are just very taxing on one's time...please feel free to leave your impressions of this first chapter...and as always...do enjoy the ride...ah, tis the flavor of the season... 0: )
"The threat of Christmas hung in the air, visible already in the fretful looks of passersby as they readied themselves for the meaningless yet necessary rites of false jovialities and ill-considered gifts."
~Peter Dickinson~
CHAPTER ONE
"Ho! Ho! Bah humbug!" Natsuki grumbled, stuffing her hands deeper into the pockets of her black, leather motorcycle jacket as she slouched along beside her friend. Her breath billowed out in a cloud of cold fog as she exhaled deeply, "You can count me OUT."
Mai, refusing to let the sour mood of her companion deflate her buoyant holiday spirit, laughed and linked her arm through her friend's arm, leaning against the other girl as they walked down the street. "Oh come on Natsuki," she whined in her best wheedling voice, pressing closer against the side of her friend in a show of good natured camaraderie as well as in an effort to shield herself against a sudden gust of icy wind. "It's Christmas Eve. You don't wanna sit at home tonight." The statement was made as more of a declaration than a question.
The dark haired girl hunched her shoulders against the wind, sinking her chin deeper into the folds of the navy blue scarf wrapped around her neck. "Sure I do," she quipped nonchalantly, giving the woman dressed in a Santa Claus suit a murderous glare just she was about to approach the two girls with her bucket held at the ready for any holiday donations. Catching the warning simper of Natsuki's emerald stare, the woman in question paused in mid step, the bell she was ringing going suddenly quiet. She stood where she was, warily watching the two girls pass by without her usual cry of 'Your spare change can make a difference." Natsuki gave a satisfied sneer followed by a muffled snort at the woman's change of heart. It gave her a silent thrill to realize she was still able to effectively freeze a person with nothing more than a carefully arched eyebrow coupled with a menacing glower.
Natsuki suddenly stumbled, her boot slipping momentarily on a patch of ice as Mai gave her arm a jerk. "Dammit! Watch it Tokiha. You almost made me fall and bust my ass!"
"Would serve you right, you old Scrooge!" the orange haired girl shot back, shaking her head at her friend's lack of indulgence for all things festive. She'd caught the girl's behavior towards the bell ringer out of the corner of her eye. "And stop scaring the Santa Clauses, Natsuki. That's the third one this afternoon that you've frightened away with your antisocial grimace. If you don't watch it, Santa might just SKIP your house tonight for being such a bad girl."
"I'm NOT antisocial. Just...anti-holiday," she corrected, her ears picking up the sound of cheezy Christmas music leaking from the open door of a bookstore they were passing. "I'd like to see the fat fucker squeeze through MY chimney. I got something for him if he does. And it isn't milk and cookies." She chuckled, lost in her own dark humor as she imagined Santa climbing out of her fireplace only to discover himself staring down the barrels of two SIG Elite Dark 9 MM pistols pointed at his head.
"That's just wrong. Today of all days you should be filled with the spirit of the season. I mean look around. Doesn't all the decorations and carolers and the PRESENTS make you wanna smile?" Mai was trying, but she knew she was probably fighting a losing battle. Nevertheless, she was determined not to leave the field without putting up a valiant effort. Who doesn't like Christmas? she puzzled to herself.
"Actually Mai, all the decorations and shit doesn't make me wanna smile. They make me wanna puke!"
Mai stopped walking, pulling her friend to a sudden halt in the middle of the sidewalk. "I don't believe for a second that you can't look around and not feel something, Natsuki Kuga." Her eyes shone with a gleam of tinseled covered fanaticism that seemed to infect the general population at this time of year. She made a grand gesticulation with one gloved hand. "The lights are twinkling, the music is cheery, the Christmas trees are all decked out. Not to mention the presents piled up beneath them." Mai chuckled at this, picturing the tree she and Mikoto had put up in their dorm room. It was piled high with gifts from friends and family. "And the shops in the city are doing their part in fostering the Christmas spirit as well. Look!" She flailed her hand at the window they were standing in front of, as if to drive home her point once and for all.
Natsuki's eyes had been steadily studying the tops of her boots, waiting for her friend's outburst to subside so they could continue their walk, trying her best to ignore the girl's dramatic tirade. However, after a few more seconds of Mai's over-glorification of the poinsettia window clings and the fake garland encircling one of Fuuka City's shops that she'd decided to stage this little Christmas fit in front of, Natsuki realized that she'd have to make some type of comment in order to get her friend moving again. Lifting her head, she flipped a handful of blue-black hair over her shoulder before gazing up at the window and the street in front of her. But as her eyes scanned the crowded streets and busy shops, she frowned.
"You wanna know what I see Mai? I see nothing more than a gross over-commercialization of a holiday that has lost its meaning. Unless you work in retail or alcohol sales. That is the only thing Christmas is good for!"
Mai's mouth dropped open and she stared incredulously at her sulking friend. "But you have to admit that it's the SPIRIT of the holiday that truly matters."
The other girl shook her head, long dark hair billowing out in an errant gust of wind. "Holiday spirit? You mean...THAT?" She reached out, both hands gripping her friend's shoulders and gave Mai's upper torso a twist, shoving her a little more roughly than necessary, as she pushed her closer to the glass paned window of the electronics store they were standing in front of. She peered in with Mai, a look of disgust turning down the corners of her mouth. "Tell me. What do you see Mai?" Natsuki asked, the timbre of her voice holding a hard edge of irritability as she leaned in closer to her friend. "I want to know what type of holiday spirit you see in a retail store pushing it's wares on a Christmas Eve. All i see is the supply and demand of the drug better known as capitalism."
Mai took a voluntary step closer to the window, pulling one red glove off with her teeth so she could push a strand of orange hair behind one ear. The wind was picking up, sending not only her hair, but also residual snow from the previous day's dusting flying up into her face, momentarily stinging her eyes. She watched the goings on inside the store for a few seconds, eyes round with excitement. It was just an ordinary electronics store, selling everything from CDs to cellphones. The sale's associates that Mai could see had all donned silly reindeer-antler headbands, some even going so far as to strap big, red noses on their faces as well. Tastefully decorated with traditional holiday trappings of holly, garland and red tinsel, the interior of the store oozed Christmas spirit. At least in Mai's opinion. Mai was in such a good mood that she even caught herself humming along to the tune of the Christmas song being piped through the store's internal, as well as external speakers as she zoned out, caught up in a sort of holiday, voyeuristic trance.
She felt Natsuki give her shoulders an insistent shake accompanied by the repeated question growled in her left ear. "Well? What do you see of holiday spirit in there?"
Not knowing what her friend was getting at, Mai decided to answer as honestly as she could. "I see your typical hustle and bustle of a Christmas Eve. People still out shopping, hoping to find that perfect, last minute gift. I see smiles and happiness on everyone's face; a glow of expectant joy radiating an anticipation of sharing time with treasured friends and family." She frowned then, cutting her eyes slightly to the left as she glanced warily at Natsuki, who had her own face plastered to the window, staring in as if desperately searching for some seasonal validity of her own in the scene before her, as well as in Mai's words. "I also see a Christmas tree and holiday decorations," Mai added.
Natsuki grunted in self-satisfaction, bringing her hands up to her mouth and blowing on them for warmth. "So, in effect, what you're telling me is, the holiday spirit that you've been yammering so much about for the past month is nothing but a bunch of frantic shoppers and some shitty decorations that retail stores drag out once a year in order to dazzle and deaden the minds of potential customers. That about sum it up?" Her voice sounded bitter and angry.
Mai turned towards her friend, a look of confusion stealing across her face. Why is Natsuki so determined not to enjoy the holiday? It just didn't make sense to her. She'd never seen anyone fight so hard against something as simple and pure as Christmas spirit. "Christmas is much more than shopping and a few strings of colored lights, Natsuki. It's about being with family and friends and appreciating them. Not even necessarily with gifts, but with words and actions that let the people close to you know you are thankful for them being a part of your life. It's an unrestricted belief in a season of miracles."
Natsuki felt the tension in her shoulders intensify and she took a deep breath to ease a sudden ache in her chest. She lifted green eyes, turning her gaze outward towards the street, watching the activity of a busy Christmas Eve morning flowing past her and Mai like the restless movement of a river. Just as she was about to open her mouth and comment on Mai's naive comment concerning Christmas miracles, a loud voice from behind drew both of the girl's attention. Turning her head slightly, Natsuki spied a woman with an armful of bags from various stores yanking on the hand of a little boy as he pointed excitedly towards a display of video games in the window she and Mai were standing in front of.
"That mommy. I want that for Christmas. I forgot to tell Santa about the new Xbox game I wanted. Can we go back to see him? Please? He won't bring it if I don't tell him I want the game too!"
The boy's mother moaned in frustration as she frowned at the expectant face of the child tugging on her hand. "Takeo, don't you think you've already asked for enough toys from Santa this year?"
The petulant pout that crossed the little boy's face made Natsuki want to smack him. "NO! He's Santa Claus. He's supposed to bring me everything I want and I want that game!" He gave his foot a determined stomp.
"I think Santa has spent enough money on you this year, young man. Just be happy with what you do get." The woman's response was clipped and sharp. "Besides, we have to hurry up and get home so I can start preparing tomorrow's lunch. You're sister is bringing her boyfriend home from school with her tonight, so that's another mouth to feed as well as another futon to drag out of storage. The house is already packed out with relatives that have started showing up, freeloading off of your father over the holiday. We just don't have time to go back and wait in line for another visit with Santa Claus." She sighed then, giving a surprised squeak when she saw Mai and Natsuki watching the exchange between herself and her son, who was not taking the news of his mother's refusal to take him back to see Santa very well at all. Shrugging, she gave the girls a forced smile. "Kids these days. They want everything they see and expect to get it." Giving the now squalling child a firm pull, the woman began moving past the silently staring girls. Pausing momentarily, trying to make her voice audible over the loud cries from her son, the woman grunted in exasperation, looking and sounding tired, "Just be glad you two are still young and don't have any children. Holiday's are hell on families. Merry Christmas."
"M-merry Christmas to you too," Mai spluttered, watching as the woman dragged her son down the sidewalk in wide-eyed dismay. Mai had a look on her face that was half disbelief and half disappointment, sort of as if she'd just discovered that Santa Claus wasn't real after all.
Taking no pity on her friend's unfortunate encounter with the woman and her son, Natsuki leaned in close to Mai, nudging the girl in the back with one shoulder. "How's that for your holiday spirit, Tokiha. Huh? Merry fucking Christmas." She laughed sourly, feeling justifiably vindicated in her opinions about the holiday.
It took Mai a moment to recover from the most decidedly un-holiday spirit the woman had exhibited, but giving her head a confident toss, she grinned nevertheless. "That's but one Christmas anomaly, smart ass. Now come on, I need to get to the jewelry store and pick up Yuuichi's gift. Mister Ahkio said he was closing at noon to give his staff time to do last minute errands."
"Wanna tell me again why I agreed to getting up early on a day off, not to mention leaving my apartment in weather like this just to run YOUR errands with you?" Natsuki lamented dramatically, jogging the few steps to catch up with Mai who was already headed up the sidewalk, making a beeline for the crosswalk on the corner.
Mai's voice carried easily on the wind as she retorted with, "Because that's what friends are for." Reaching the corner that she needed to cross, Mai wedged herself into the crowd waiting for the signal to change, grateful for the press of warm bodies around her. She'd chosen fashion over warmth today and was wearing a green sweater jacket that wasn't designed for anything other than its cute factor. She could feel the icy breath of the wind running straight through the knit sweater, causing her to shiver uncontrollably. The crush of bodies surrounding her were a welcome buffer. Besides, there was no way she would admit to Kuga that she was cold. The girl had pointed out upon leaving the dormitory that she would freeze to death without a heavy jacket. Mai had merely pish-poshed on her friend's warning, casualy offering the comment that sometimes one must suffer for fashion. Which was exactly what she was doing now. Her teeth were chattering together softly as Natsuki eased up behind her.
"HA!" came the girl's loud voice. "I told you you'd freeze your ass off out here this morning without a jacket."
"J-just one more s-shop and then we'll go get a coffee b-before heading back," Mai managed through chattering teeth, clutching her shopping bags close as the crowd began milling ever so slightly in anticipation of the light change.
"Grrrr! Hey watch it buddy!" came Natsuki's grumbled shout. "You just stepped on my foot!"
The man in question inclined his head, glancing down at the snarling girl addressing him. "Sorry about that young lady. Here, have a candy cane." His eyes locked onto Natsuki's for the briefest moment, causing a visible shiver to tingle through the girl's body, before finishing with, "And smile, my friend. The spirit of Christmas is now upon you." He stuffed a miniature candy cane into Natsuki's hand and smiled innocently.
Was that dude's eyes WHITE? she thought in amazement. But before Natsuki could even reply, the man was carried off in the wake of bodies as the green light flashed its okay to cross and the herd began it's hurried flow across the street.
A sudden elbow in the side caused Natsuki to drop the candy cane the man had given her. Not knowing what possessed her to do it, she hastily bent down amongst the crush of bodies and legs and snagged the cellophane wrapped candy before it could be crushed beneath the feet of the crowd and stuffed it into a jacket pocket. Why the hell did I do that? she mumbled to herself, I could have gotten myself trampled to death for a piece of stupid candy! She pushed herself back up to a standing position, green eyes scanning the faces surrounding her as she tried to spot Mai's orange hair, when she suddenly caught the sound of her name being called.
"Oi Kuga! NATSUKI KUGA!"
Glancing over one shoulder, she cringed as she spotted the greenish-black, spikey hair of Takeda Masashi. He was trotting up the sidewalk she and Mai had just been strolling down, waving one hand in the air, the other cupped around his mouth as he called out her name again.
"Shit!" Natsuki swore, relieved to spot Mai coming to a halt on the edge of the curb as the crossing light began it's warning blink of eminent change. Lowering her head in determination, she shouldered her way through the throng separating her from her friend and bulled forward, ignoring the startled shouts and curses levered at her rude behavior as she plowed through.
Mai was standing beside the yellow flashing crosswalk sign, hugging herself with her arms as she tried to keep warm now that she'd been pushed from the warmth of the crowd and left exposed on the edge of the curb. "Oh my God!" she cried happily. "There you are! I thought you'd finally decided you'd had enough and ditched me so you could..." Her evident happiness at seeing her friend turned into a shocked silence as Natsuki grabbed her hand and tugged.
"Let's go!" was all the dark haired girl said as she gripped Mai's hand tighter, pulling her off the curb and onto the crosswalk.
"No. Wait! We can't! The light's red. We're gonna..."
Growling in undeterred determination, Natsuki tucked Mai's hand beneath her arm in a vise-like grip and ran. "Just shut up and RUN Tokiha!"
Mai glanced at the oncoming traffic, closing her eyes momentarily, a whispered prayer passing her cold lips. "Please God, Don't let this idiot get me killed on Christmas Eve!"
Ignoring the indignant car horns beeping as she half-dragged Mai across the street, Natsuki's intent was to keep moving away from the boy across the street as swiftly as possible. Unfortunately, Mai's foot slipped on a slick spot of ice once they safely reached the sidewalk and she let out a startled screech as she dropped bags and bottom to the cold pavement. Natsuki scanned the crowd at the crosswalk on the other side of the street as her friend floundered at her feet, hoping she wouldn't see Takeda emerging from the next glom waiting to pass. An irritated frown puckering her brow, she made an impatient flailing motion with her hand towards the girl on the ground, urging Mai to get up.
"Come on. Come on Mai! We need to move!"
Clambering to her feet with an irritated sniff for Natsuki's disregard of offering her a helping hand up, Mai reclaimed her dropped shopping bags then placed her hands on her hips. "What the hell's your problem? We could have gotten hit by a car! What's gotten into you all of a sudden? You didn't even pretend to show concern that I just nearly broke my leg, falling down on that ice!" Noticing her friend's attention was fixed not on her but on something across the street, Mai turned her head and immediately spotted the cause of Natsuki's discomfit. "Ah. So that's it," she said, totally forgetting her irritation at her friend. "Trying to avoid Takeda, huh? Well that's just rude!" Raising one arm, Mai gestured with a wave and called out, "Hey Takeda, we're..." She was silenced by the feel of Natsuki's cold hand clamping down over her mouth.
"Dammit Mai, shut it!" Slouching down, she continued watching the young man across the street, his head whipping back and forth, searching the sidewalk on the other side. A triumphant smile lit up Natsuki's face as Takeda hurried off up the sidewalk, never thinking to spare a glance across the busy street. "He didn't see us cross. Hurry! Get your shit together. I wanna be long gone before the light changes again, just in case."
Mai clutched her bags with one hand, the other slapping at her friend's hand which was still plastered over her mouth. "Well excuse me for having the Christmas spirit and trying to be friendly," she puffed heatedly.
Urging Mai to follow, Natsuki ducked behind a line of shoppers ambling down the sidewalk who were oohing and aahing at the window displays, before replying over her shoulder. "This has nothing to do with Christmas spirit and more to do with...self preservation."
The sound of her friend's guffaw of laughter caused several pedestrians to throw curious glances their way. "He asked you out again, didn't he? He probably asked you out tonight? Am I right, Miss Kuga?" she teased, trying to catch a glimpse of Natsuki's face, looking for the blush she knew her friend was trying to hide beneath a fall of dark hair.
"Where's this jewelry shop you're looking for," was Natsuki's only response.
"He DID ask you out again," Mai chuckled, congratulating herself on her keen insight.
Natsuki shook her head. "Actually, the dummy left a voice message on my cell, asking if I wanted to go out to dinner with him tonight. What kind of idiot asks someone out with a recorded message."
"Maybe he knew you were screening your calls and wouldn't answer your cell when you saw the call was from him. Poor guy. His only recourse was to try and pin you down via voice mail." Mai giggled.
"Poor guy my ass! Do you know how many times he's called me in the past week?" she demanded, looking up to discover that Mai had disappeared from beside her and was even now, turning down a sidestreet. Jogging to catch up, she answered her own question. "Twelve! He's called me twelve times Mai. You'd think the dude would've gotten the message by now."
Mai stopped, glancing around at the names of the shops adjacent to them, acclimating herself, before continuing the conversation as well as her hurried stroll down the busy sidewalk. "And what message would that be, hmmm?" she inquired, spotting the jewelry shop a few stores further down the sidewalk.
Natsuki pulled the zipper of her jacket up a little farther, stuffing both hands into the back pockets of her jeans. "The message that I'm not interested," she snapped.
"Why not?" her friend challenged, shrugging and making an empty pocket gesture at yet another person ringing a bell beside a bucket set up for holiday donations.
"Because I'm NOT!" Natsuki snarled, her tone and demeanor suddenly turning even darker, a near palpable threat vibrating in the air between herself and Mai.
Glancing at her watch, Mai didn't hear the dangerous undertones in the other girl's voice warning her to drop the subject. She was too absorbed in reaching her destination and picking up Tate's present before the shop closed in twenty minutes. "Well, maybe you should give him a chance, Natsuki. It would be nice if you accepted a date with someone who so obviously seems to really like you. Then you wouldn't have to spend Christmas Eve all alone," she absentmindedly responded.
Mai reached the door to Mister Akiho's shop, her hand poised on the handle, anticipating stepping into the warm interior, when a sound from Natsuki caused her to turn around. The girl had stopped a few feet back, head down, arms hanging limply by her side. "Hurry up Natsuki. The shop closes in less than twenty minutes and I need to..."
"Do you think I'm so desperate for company that...that I'd consent to a date with a person simply to have someone with me on a holiday?" Her voice was pitched low, but when she raised her head to look at Mai, her eyes were aglow with an inner scream. "Do you think I NEED anyone to babysit me tonight...or...or any other night for that matter?"
She took a step towards Mai, whose violet colored eyes were wide in apprehensive surprise at the pained look chiseled across her friend's face and the realization that SHE had caused it. "Natsuki," she began, reaching out a hand toward the girl's arm.
Natsuki shrugged Mai's consoling hand off and continued, "I don't need anyone Mai. Family, friends...no one. Needing someone is a weakness. I've learned that lesson before and I will never make the same mistake again. Ever since my mother" she paused, changing what she'd intended to say before continuing, "ever since I lost my mother, I've been on my own. You might label me as being a loner, or alone, but I consider it a choice I've consciously made. Being independently on my own is not the same thing as being lonely. It's my choice not to want to define my life...to define who I am based solely on another person. I don't want it. I don't need it! I don't need..." HER! was the word that, once embraced in thought, immediately drowned Natsuki in an ocean of memories.
A look of remorse stole across Mai's face. "I'm sorry Natsuki. I didn't mean to insinuate..." She paused to swallow, unsure how to continue but desperately wanting to pull her friend out of the defensive mood she'd put her in. "Besides, you're gonna be with ME tonight. You did promise to meet us for dinner, right?" She slid her arm around the girl's shoulders, giving her a loving one armed squeeze. "We're all gonna be there Natsuki. Even Nao." She'd thrown in Nao's name in an effort to make Natsuki swear, or scream or snort, anything...just to get the look of sadness out of her eyes. The reaction Mai received for the casual name dropping was not a disappointment.
Natsuki rewarded her with a contemptuous snort. "And that's supposed to make me wanna go? Yeah right!" She arched one eyebrow at Mai, her mouth stretched thin in a tight lipped sneer. "If anything, just knowing that girl will be there is more than enough of an incentive to keep me at home!"
Mai playfully slapped at Natsuki's arm. "Oh don't be so cold," she teased, hoping to lighten the tension of the moment.
Natsuki's face drained of color at Mai's words, replaced with a profound sense of loss so overwhelmingly unexpected that it claimed even the wind-painted rose coloring her cheeks. She struggled for her next breath, feeling the ghost of regret wrap it's icy fingers around her heart and squeeze. "Must you be so cold," came the voice from five months ago. A voice edged with a hurt that she had caused; leaving in it's wake a wound so deep it could never be healed. A voice echoing in the darkness of a past moment lived daily. Guilt and shame warred with a feeling of such hopeless grief that Natsuki gasped, trying to catch the breath which had suddenly caught in her throat as the memory tightened its grip on her heart.
"You okay Natsuki?" Mai's concerned voice buzzed in her ears, sounding as if muted by a very thick wall.
Taking a mental hold on her emotions, Natsuki lifted her chin and forced herself to meet Mai's worried eyes. "Of course I'm fine. Just the...thought of sitting down at a table with Nao made my stomach turn a little." She flashed an empty smile, hoping to appease her friend's dismayed frown.
"You really are a meanie head," Mai chortled, a desperate sound that she winced at as soon as it was out of her mouth. She was not at all convinced that Natsuki was as 'fine' as she claimed to be. She shivered as another icy blast of wind whistled past and hurriedly reached out for the door handle leading into the shop. "Oh my God! I'm freezing to death out here." Pulling the door open, she ushered Natsuki inside.
A welcoming warmth immediately embraced the two girls as they stepped inside the jewelry store which was tastefully decorated for the holiday. The air held just a hint of cinnamon. Mai pulled off her gloves and stuffed them into the shoulder bag hanging from one arm, transferring her shopping bags into Natsuki's hands. "Here. Hold these for me. I'll just be a sec." And with that, she was gone, waving at one of the sales girls who greeted her by name.
Natsuki grumbled, adjusting the bags Mai had unceremoniously left in her care. This is the REAL reason she asked me to go with her today. To act as her personal assistant. Watching for a moment as the owner of the shop came out from the back and greeted Mai himself, Natsuki thought she might as well kill time while waiting by ambling through the store. Nothing here but jewelry and a few overpriced keepsake items, but, browsing was better than standing behind Mai like a hired flunky.
Walking around, she let her eyes roam over the various assortment of jewelry on display. Earrings, and bracelets, necklaces to rings, a representation of every form of accessory was available for purchase. They even had a small offering of body piercing jewelry. Natsuki turned her nose up at the obnoxious looking belly button ring her eyes had unwittingly locked on. Screw that. I'd much rather have a cool tattoo, she scoffed imperiously. She'd seriously contemplated the idea of getting her first tattoo for herself as a Christmas gift. She had in her mind a unique design that she'd love to have inked somewhere on her body. Unfortunately, she didn't have the artistic skills necessary to sketch out the design she'd created in thought only. Nothing else she could think of would suffice. If one was going to get a tattoo on their body, it better be one that you could live with for a very long time.
Oh well. When I get time, I'll just have to find someone who can draw it out for me. And then...THEN, I'll get a tattoo. Her ears picked up the excited squeal of Mai's voice. That was her cue to make her way back over to the front of the store. Once she pays for Tate's necklace, we can go get that cup of coffee she's been promising me and... Her anticipation of sitting down in front of a hot cup of coffee was interrupted as a gleam from one of the displays on top of the counter caught her eye. Curious, she padded over to the counter.
In a small, low walled display box, several rings were laid out on a piece of white velvet. The rings were all silver, but with varying designs, cuts and thickness. Semi-precious stones were set in most of the rings, all of differing hues and shapes. One in particular had caught Natsuki's eye. Reverently reaching out for the ring, she picked it up, immediately drawn to the double infinity knot design. It was silver and felt nicely weighted in her hand. However, it wasn't the design nor the silver which had attracted her, but rather, the stone set in the center of the ring where the infinity knots met. It was the most beautiful shade of purple she'd ever seen. She turned the ring, the overhead lights setting off the sparkling hues of the gem. It was a rich purple, but with just the subtlest hint of a blue combining with the more dominant purple coloring to warrant the description of being a truly breathtaking piece of jewelry.
"That's an Oriental amethyst. Also known as a purple sapphire. Exquisite, isn't it?" The sales associate smiled a friendly, encouraging smile. "Why not try it on?"
It's her favorite color, Natsuki thought wistfully, her eyes locked on the small, yet beautiful amethyst set in the ring. Her heart hammered painfully inside her chest and she felt herself slipping into the crush of memories she so desperately fought against.
She was saved from her own demon recollections by the sound of Mai's voice. "You thinking about buying a ring, Natsuki? Oh my God!" the girl cried out in delight upon seeing the object laying in her friend's hand. "It's beautiful. You should definitely get it for yourself."
"What? No! I mean no, I don't want it. I was just...it just caught my eye. I was only browsing until you were ready to go." She realized her objection over buying the ring sounded a little manic and tried to reign in her suddenly overwhelming stupidity. "Pffft!" she made a rude noise as she eyed the ring one last time. "You think I'd wear something as pretentious as that anyway. The color's all wrong for me, for one thing. I don't..."she forced moisture into her suddenly dry mouth then continued, "I don't even like the color purple," she finished in a rush, dropping the ring back into it's display box with a pained look on her face as if it had bitten her.
"Awww. Don't say that," the sales girl said with a mock pout, pushing the ring back into its original position with one finger. "Who doesn't like the color purple?" she asked, her look going from one girl to the other. "It's the color most closely associated with royalty and spirituality; an extremely strong color that combines passion as well as..."
The clerk's voice continued to drone in the background as Mai leaned in closer to Natsuki's ear, whispering softly, "Why don't you just...call her, Natsuki?"
The question didn't need to be any more specific, the unvoiced name was enough. Natsuki felt her entire body suddenly tense up, her hands forming fists; she felt a wave of inexplicable anger rolling and crashing against her conscious. The wave of anger, if left unchecked, was on the verge of rising up and taking her and anyone else standing close to her out like a tsunami. She fought to keep her voice civil as she replied to the well meaning, yet cruel question posed by her friend. "I can't Mai. I can't call her. That's over and done with now. I'm not...she can't..." a breath heavy with sorrow and regret rose and fell in silent, self-recrimination. "I don't need anyone. I don't need...her."
Furrowed brows, Mai hissed harshly, trying to keep her voice low, as the sales girl continued to expostulate on the merits of the color purple. "Well maybe SHE needs YOU? Did you ever stop to consider that? God you can be so condescendingly selfish sometimes! Don't you have a heart? It's Christmas Eve for God's sake!"
Unable to weather yet another lecture on her lack of holiday cheer and definitely not wanting to bring up the past caused by an argument in an upscale jewelry store on Christmas Eve, Natsuki flung one arm into the air and whirled away from Mai. "Whatever Tokiha. I'm not interested in defending MY life to YOU! I'm out!" She stormed towards the shop exit, her black motorcycle boots resounding heavily across the polished tiles of the floor.
Mai ran a hand through her hair and forced an embarrassed smile on the startled sales clerk. "Sorry about that. My friend, she...ah...she doesn't do well with holidays," she apologized, giving the clerk a quick bow before racing off after Natsuki. "Merry Christmas," she called as an afterthought over her shoulder as she exited the store at a run, prepared for the inevitable chase-after-Natsuki scene that flashed through her mind. She pulled up short, a started "Oh!" coming from her as she saw the would be prey leaning against the wall just outside the door, both hands pushed into the pockets of her jacket.
"I thought I was gonna hafta give chase," Mai laughed, trying to gauge the girl's mood with a penetrating gaze at Natsuki's face.
The difficult girl merely shrugged one shoulder. "I thought about just ditching you. But these," and with that, she shoved the shopping bags she'd been holding for Mai back into her friend's hands, "these made me think better of the idea. Don't wanna end up forced to lug all of your shit around with me. So, I waited."
"Well, thank you for waiting. And thanks for holding my bags too Natsuki." Again with the aloof attitude, Mai grumbled to herself, watching the girl in front of her kick at a cigarette butt that was frozen to the ground in a small spot of ice. Why does she have to be so damn...TOUCHY about everything? GRRRR! This girl is infuriating! But just as quickly as the fires of anger flamed in Mai's eyes, they were just as inexplicably quelled when she caught sight of the subtle trembling of Natsuki's hand as the girl flipped a fistful of hair over one shoulder in a show of nonchalance. It was then that Mai realized, with a certainty born out of a loving friendship, that Natsuki was putting on a show of indifference when in fact, she was more than likely suffering silently inside.
Tucking the gift wrapped box that held Yuuichi's necklace into one of the larger bags, Mai redistributed the weight of her other parcels and bumped against Natsuki with one shoulder. "Hey. Wanna go get that cup of coffee I promised you? I'm all finished with my Christmas shopping and a nice hot latte sounds more than welcome right about now."
Natsuki's emerald eyes flashed warningly as she pierced her friend with an icy stare. "No more bullshit talk about...Christmas spirit?"
Mai wanted to say more. She desperately wanted to talk about the war Natsuki seemed to be waging with her emotions, but she held her tongue and smiled sheepishly. "Yeah. No more hounding of the HOUND about holiday cheer."
"Hey! Watch what you're saying TO-KI-HA!" Natsuki growled menacingly. But the sudden twitching of her lips gave the lie to her gruff rebuke.
"Come on then...Scrooge," Mai finished, unable to help adding the friendly dig. "And I'm treating for the coffee. As a thanks for going out with me this morning Natsuki."
Natsuki pushed away from the wall she was leaning against, taking half of the bags Mai was trying to hold, carrying them for her. "You didn't leave me much of a choice in the matter. It's hard to say no to you once you've got your mind set on a thing," she teased, walking beside her friend, shivering as a wet snow began to softly fall around them.
Mai laughed. "You say that as if you mean it. But, if you do mean it, I want you to know my mind is made up about you joining us tonight for dinner. And stop frowning Miss Kuga. Tis the season for merryment and hope, not the season for frowns and stoicism. Unless you're the Grinch!" Laughing at her own joke, the two girls strode towards the nearest coffee house, one anticipating with barely contained glee the evening's festivities, the other shrouded in a cloud of acrimonious skepticism.