Disclaimer: These brilliant characters belong to JK Rowling, despite my intense envy.
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The Snogging Games
Sirius's laugh was a ragged bark as he watched James practically light Lily's already flaming hair on fire with the sheer intensity of his gaze.
"Siriusly, James," Sirius stopped to observe Remus's reaction from the corner of his eye; the scruffy boy was fed up with Sirius's lame puns. "Take a break. No wonder your eyesight is so bad." He reached over to flick James's glasses; he straightened them with a fleeting glare. "You spend your free time staring at the back of Evan's head. Very charming."
He stretched across the couch he and Peter were sharing, crushing Pettigrew's potions notes in the process. Peter stared at the crumpled parchment, but with what he probably thought was chivalry, allowed his papers to sit beneath Sirius's legs and smiled timidly at him. With a roll of his eyes, Sirius lifted one leg and snatched the parchment, promptly shoving it at Peter.
"I was given my eyes for a reason," James murmured absently, focused on the way that Connor bloke had very intentionally brushed his arm against Lily's. "I can uses them fro whatever-" He scowled as Lily grinned at the Seventh Year, "- purpose I find necessary."
"Oi, isn't that Oceania Tasker's boyfriend?" Peter asked, following James's menacing glower. "That Seventh Year fellow?"
"Ex," corrected Remus. He was partially hidden from behind the pile of books that threatened to topple over him. He peered around them at Sirius. "They were dating - until Padfoot here decided to make a pass at Oceania-"
"Pah." Sirius waved away Remus's disapproving gaze. "Hardly a pass. Just a snog."
"Just a snog?" Peter exclaimed, his whining voice cracking. He was clearly impressed. It was quite obvious the poor boy had never held hands with a girl, let along snog one.
Sirius shrugged.
"S'not my fault he walked in on us," he said innocently, grinning at James, who's lips had twitched.
"Wow," Peter slumped against the couch, eyeing Sirius admiringly. "You sure do get around. How many girls do you reckon you've…" he lowered his voice and glanced around with his little beady eyes, "snogged?"
Sirius twisted his face into a look of intense concentration. After a few unsuccessful moments, he turned to Remus.
"You've still got that list?"
Remus heaved a sigh far beyond his years but pulled from his bag a thick folded parchment, worn by it's constant use and stained by pumpkin juice and a few suspicious red splashes that were coaxed from Sirius's nose after a particularly possessive Slytherin found his girlfriend and Sirius canoodling in one of the many dark corridors of Hogwarts.
Remus unfolded the parchment and quickly scanned it (wrinkling his nose in disgust at the red splats), lips silently moving as he read the numerous names scrawled across the paper.
"According to this," he gave the list a shake, "he's snogged practically every Seventh Year girl, from each house; a great deal of Sixth Years; seven Fifth Years; three Fourth Years, and one Third Year." Remus glared at Sirius, who smiled impishly.
"She was literally throwing herself at me - it was her birthday! How could I say no?"
"Oh it's quite simple, really." Remus muttered, huffing and looking back at the list. They had James's full attention now.
"He's also kissed every Gryffindor First and Second Year girls and boys - remember after the Opening Feast when he stood at the entrance to the common room and kissed the top of every poor kid's head?"
James grinned at that: he had been the one ho dared Sirius the first time - Sirius had acted of his own accord the second. James could remember clearly the way the boys had tried to scramble away and how the little girls stood in awe and stroked the top of their heads dreamily after Sirius had released them.
"And-" for Remus was not done yet, "he has kissed four Seventh Year boys on their cheeks after Quidditch matches; six Sixth Years, including all of us, on various parts of their faces for a number of reasons- " Sirius blew a wanton kiss at James, who caught it and brought it dramatically to his heart, batting his eyes. "- and three Hufflepuffs."
"Isn't there someone you haven't snogged, Sirius?" Peter turned his little eyes on him.
Sirius tapped his finger against his temple, and with an inspired grin, glanced over his shoulder.
"Well, now that you mention it, Wormy, there is a certain redhead who has yet to be Siriusly introduced to Sirius Black-"
James had stiffed and was now glowering at Sirius. Sirius crossed his arms loosely and raised an eyebrow at James, taunting him.
"You wouldn't," growled James. Sirius clicked his tongue at him before leaning over and calling: "Oi, Evans!" He threw his arm across the back of the couch and smirked at the hassled looking girl. He motioned her over to them. She snorted and turned away from him, tossing her wild red hair and smacking Connor across the face with it in the process. She hardly seemed to notice. James had just begun to look relieved when Sirius picked his wand off the low table and Summoned the book Lily was studying from, along with her wand, which had been loosely tucked behind her ear.
"SIRIUS BLACK!"
Peter quaked in fear as Lily stormed over to their group of four, fuming. "How dare you take my wand, you bloody prat-" She was silenced as Sirius lept up and pressed a quick kiss to her half-open lips. He pulled away to grin at Remus, who had dropped his quill and was looking quite frightened.
"Be sure to write that down-"
A hard slap met his face, so forceful it nearly spun his head round on his shoulders. He cradled his cheek and smirked at Lily, who was a fearsome sight, a book in her hand, ready to be slammed across his face - but it was beat there by James's fist.
Sirius fell on the couch, grinning up at James as Lily snatched her wand back and looked as if she were ready to hex him. James shook his head at her and tried to apologize as she sneered at the lot of them and marched away. James watched her leave and Sirius struggled to get up from where he had landed on Peter's lap.
James rounded on Sirius, glasses glinting in the firelight.
"Black," he snarled, "You are going to Siriusly pay for that."
It was a story Sirius loved to retell… especially at Lily and James's wedding.
So... what did you think? This is my very first Marauder Era fic - don't be afraid to tell me how I did! I'm dying to hear your feedback and suggestions!
Have a great weekend! Happy Friday!